Starting Again; Closed
Camellia leaned outside the cafe as he glanced down at his watch periodically, making sure not to drop the two drinks he was holding.
She was late.
When he had agreed to meet Sylvatica they decided to not stay out past dusk since it would be harder for her to get back late at night, yet from the way events where unfolding it seemed like he was going to have to get over himself and see her home later. He hadn’t seen or heard from her since their argument on the roof so he wasn’t quite sure as to what caused the sudden interest in him. Nonetheless he wasn’t complaining too much, the guilt had been eating away at him so he had been wanting to talk to her anyways.
As he glanced up from his watch again Camellia noticed her walking down the street towards him.
“You’re late.” He chuckled in a joking tone before turning serious. “I hope your tea preferences hasn’t changed much or this is gonna be real shitty of me.” He mused, passing her the iced beverage.
Sylvatica bowed to the boy apologetically even if she could tell he was only joking. She was still sorry for holding him up. She took the beverage offered to her and sipped on it for a quick taste. Mecca Tea, well she didn’t dislike it but it definitely wasn’t in her preference.
“Thank you. Um, it’s good,” She smiled and fidgeted slightly in her dress, She had run late exactly because she had been indecisive on what to wear. She figured she should dress in something other than her usual attire for an outing into town. Her usual clothes would attract too much attention.
However, she was incredibly uncomfortable. She wasn’t used to them.
“Thank you for meeting with me. I… I really wanted to have a chance to speak with you.”
He raised an eyebrow at her comment, smirking slightly. “You’re a terrible liar. We can pick out another one on the way back. If it gets too dark I will walk you home. There is a small park down this way that no one knows about. It’s quiet.” He paused, pointing down a small side street. “The feeling is mutual… I have some things I want to talk about as well…Shall we?”
Once it was agreed upon Camellia took Sylvatica’s hand, grasping it firmly as he lead her down the street and into a small lit up park. Aside from someone walking their dog it was virtually empty. He let go of her hand, inching away just a little bit.
“The building owner of the apartments over there makes sure it stays clean, it’s a nice spot to just clear your head. There is a small stream that runs through as well….” trailing off Camellia turned to face the other. He gathered his thoughts before speaking up.
“Would you like to start or should I?”
The girl bowed slightly as Camellia let go of her hand. Surprisingly it wasn’t unpleasant to have him lead her by the hand. She refused to accept a new drink, and sipped on her tea as he spoke. .
It seemed like he already knew everything about the area. It wasn’t surprising since he had been away from the sanitarium for such a long time already. Still, it was fascinating at how the boy adopted. If it had been Sylvatica, she probably wouldn’t bother mingling with normal people.
“It’s a nice park, I like it,” Sylvatica said while pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, “It seems like you know a lot about this place already.”
“Uh, if you don’t mind going first, I’ll listen for now.” She said quietly. She needed to know what he was thinking in order to collect her own thoughts into words.
Nodding Camellia led her over to a bench and sat down; staying silent for a while, collecting his thoughts. Leaning back he let out a small sigh.
“Ok look… You have got to know that I’m the biggest idiot to ever grace this planet. You have no idea. I’m not even sure how I function on a daily basis because I do the stupidest things. I can’t get away from it, and sometimes I say things before I can process what I just said. That just makes things 10x worse than they already are. I’m working on that though so I can stop screwing up what few relationships I have. But I just wanted to say that I’m sorry… I’m sorry for everything I ever did or said and I know none of what I just explained excuses my actions but I needed you to hear that. I shouldn’t be trying to meddle in other people’s lives and I guess I learned that the hard way. I get if you hate me or just never want anything to do with me again because I’m just the biggest fuck up in the history of forever.” He chuckled a little at the last part.
“Honestly I need to stop being an asshole to people I care about.”
“Unn,” Sylvatica mumbled after Camellia was done. Her hands gripped a bit at the cup in her hands. The wet condensation starting to drip off it running in between her now wet hands as she spoke, “That’s not true.”
Sylvatica had been just as guilty. She had pushed the boy away harshly because of her own motives. At the time she believed she was doing the correct thing. However, in the last year those efforts had only led to hurt emotions from every person.
But now, she could begin to mend the damaged bond between the two.
“We both hurt each other,” She spoke softly, “Even though you hadn’t meant to, it was me that caused that from you. I want to also apologize. The truth is, I shouldn’t have pushed you away. Till this time you’re the only one who even cares about me at all.” The girl trailed off slightly, feeling tears from all her loneliness emerge, “You’re the only one I could think of for a long time. So, there’s no way I could hate you…”
Camellia frowned, that was the last thing he had ever expected to hear from her.
“What are you talking about? You didn’t make me do anything??”
He was in shock and still so when he turned to face her. Camellia pulled out a small pack of tissues and handed them to her. Giving her time to collect herself he wasn’t sure if he should be mad or upset or happy, in the end his voice came off as soft and understanding, with a slight hint of seriousness.
“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”
Sylvatica kindly took the tissues. Sniffing slightly she held on the thin paper now wet from simply her hands, “I shoved you and your kindness away so many times. I must have made you so angry and upset. I couldn’t really imagine the pain you must have gone through.”
Sylvatica, honestly, hadn’t considered his side of the story until after the fact. When she had spent so much time pondering on what exactly had happened, she slowly started to realize what he must have felt. Even if she had felt some pain from driving him and Cherry away. For him it was different.
It was because he loved her that it must have hurt so much. Sylvatica could only arrive to that conclusion because slowly she had also found herself hurting whenever she wondered if he hated her.
It broke her heart to think about it. And there was only one reason why that would be.
“Camellia, I understand now what I must have made you go through because I can see now that it would hurt me so much if the person I love just shoved me away,” The girl hesitated for a second, not sure if she was ready to fully express it, “... I can’t say it just yet. But.. you understand, right?” She asked while sparing him a small glance.
