Eunice Park

"you have galaxies inside your head. Stop letting people tell you you cannot shine"

[olearypoetry]

[olearypoetry]

[eunicehparkk]

I love sunflowers

[eunicehparkk]

April 10, 2019

Today as I was walking out of school, several of my first year students stuck their head out of the window and waved their arms eagerly while yelling “Bye Eunice teacher! Have a nice day!”

Moments like these make waver in my decision to leave Korea after this year & not renew my grant.

[eunicehparkk]

Cherry blossom season is here & I am in love 😍

More pictures to come

[eunicehparkk]

Feb. 16 - Feb. 28

Tomorrow 3/4 is the first day of the new semester & jetlag is currently so real

[eunicehparkk]

Thought vomit:

1. Claire (bottom two pictures) is basically my only friend in Fulbright & I’m so thankful for her. Literally the best roommate match. I love how even though we come from different backgrounds, experiences, and have pretty different interests, I just feel super comfortable around her. She’s one of those friends who I can sit at a cafe with doing nothing and it’s okay. She is caring, introspective, and independent. If there is anything good I take away from my Fulbright year, it’s definitely our friendship. 

2. I’m thankful for my mom’s friends in Korea who take care of me. I think that because my parents, I always receive so many blessings. 

3. Being Korean American in Korea is actually really hard and frustrating at times. It feels lonely, out of place, and I feel stupid a lot of times. I feel like being here as a Korean American has crushed whatever confidence I found while I was in college. The inability to freely speak Korean has silence my voice. I walk around looking like everyone but not understanding everything. Still trying to figure out how I feel/my thoughts about my identity and being in Korea. 

4. Trying to work, lesson/winter camp plan, be in civil terms with my host family, go to the gym, explore Korea, spend time with God, make time for people in the states, plan my short vacation trip, AND study for the GRE’s is literally impossible. I feel like there isn’t enough time in the day. Something always gets compromised or left out or my mental health goes down the drain. I think I need to learn to cut myself some slack, be okay with failure, and also live in freedom.

5. No. More. Buddhist. Temples. Please. I don’t care if it’s a UNESCO heritage site anymore. No more. Please. 

[eunicehparkk]

Every day thoughts:

1. Will I get fat if I drink two cups of cafe latte/instant coffee everyday?

2. If I constantly sleep only 5-6 hours will my body eventually adjust and not need as much sleep?

3. I can’t English or Korean anymore #halp 

[eunicehparkk]

Questions I ask myself when I have to sit in a quiet room full of HS students studying for their midterms

- How can I show my students that I care about them? How do I show them that I DO want to get to know them?

- How does someone stay on top of things & organized?

- How can I be a good & fun teacher?

- Why can’t I just follow rules?

- How do you live in & appreciate the present instead of constantly thinking about the future?

- Why am I in Korea?

[eunicehparkk]

When your best friend & mom hang out at your favorite restaurant on Long Island 😭

How cute are they???

[eunicehparkk]

Its the small things, like 10 minute very spontaneous & dysfunctional vc’s on my way to work, where we are basically talking to ourselves and don’t even understand what the other person is saying because bad subway service keeps cutting us off, that makes me smile :)

[eunicehparkk]

Aug. 23, 2018

For the rest of this year I have to wake up at 5:45/6:00 AM to leave the apartment by 6:50 AM latest

My initial thought was: I cannot do this. I can’t do this commute. I can’t teach.

I thought of all the times I’d get sick because of lack of sleep, I thought of how I couldn’t really explore Busan after work because my commute is so far, & I thought of all the money I’ll be spending to commute that other fulbright people don’t have to spend.

When I look at these things, it was so easy for me to feel frustrated to the point of tears.

But when I posted on my instagram story: how does one wake up this early?

Someone asked: didn’t you do this for your internship?

& I realized something

Even though I got my fulbright scholarship last minute & even though a lot of times I ask God, why did you place me in Korea this year? A lot of things in my life has been somewhat preparing me for this year.

- my super far internship last summer makes this commute + tiredness a little easier (but then again, that was only 3 months so we’ll see)

- having been thrown into things teaching related without much guidance gives me more peace in not having any guidance on what to teach these high school students (but yes, I am still struggling to plan ONE lesson)

- my Korean speaking abilities are helping communicate a little bit better with my host family and co-workers even though things still get lost in translation

& I believe that whatever hardships I go through this year, it will be okay because God has carried me through all my hardships to this point. Hopefully everything I learn this year equips me for what’s to come post Fulbright

[eunicehparkk]

thoughts/observations from Korea

- Yesterday was our last day of orientation & our co-teachers came to pick us up. All of the ETA’s going to Busan were sent a bus by their school to come together. However, my school made me take a public bus and then KTX (a train) and honestly, it was the biggest struggle because the co-teacher couldn’t find the bus stop so we walked around 30 minutes, then we waited 30 minutes but the bus was full so we had to wait another 30 minutes. Once we finally go to the train station, there were no more trains with seats so we got tickets to stand on the train, which was a 3 hour train ride. The whole time I felt so frustrated and annoyed but had to constantly remind myself to be patient. I need to learn the balance of being passive & letting things happen and advocating for myself and speaking up. 

- My host family said my Korean speaking is very natural #egoboost

- People in Korea don’t really say “excuse me” they just push you

- Trains/subway’s are super quiet because everyone is always on their phones

- There are no garbage cans in public areas & they sort all of their trash

- Laundry rooms were gender separated at Yonsei

- I might die trying to commute to and from work because the commute is so freaking long (halp pls) 

[eunicehparkk]

In the midst of excitement and lots of new adjustments, I have been feeling a little off (a mix of being tired, frustrated, apathetic, feeling inadequate, and other emotions I can’t really put a label on) for a over a week now. But today I was able to go to the namsan tower for a run with some fulbright people. Although I was initially hesitant because I have a lot to do, I’m so thankful because it was much needed.

[eunicehparkk]

FULBRIGHT ORIENTATION weeks 2 & 3 || Thankful for: - I talked about my dark chocolate craving once and the struggles of getting cheap dark chocolate with my friend Amanda & today told me she found cheap ones & bought me dark chocolate. - Minhee, who spent basically two days with me, bought me food, went to a 찜질방 with me & so openly shared about her life & relationship with me. - Doggies (even though I am really missing little children in my life)

[eunicehparkk]

Thoughts 7.26.18

It feels like freshman year of college all over again

I still don’t really know what it means for people to care & how to let them

I apologize for being annoying, I don’t want to take up people’s time. I am told that I don’t annoy them and that they’ll always make time for me. 

“whoever fears has not been perfected in love”

I’m not really sure what I need to do

[eunicehparkk]

FULBRIGHT ORIENTATION WEEK 1 

Still feels unreal that I am here & that God has opened this door for me

[eunicehparkk]

All of my closest friends are doing missions & I’m so thankful that God has given them an opportunity to go build up His kingdom & share the gospel

But now I have no one to text