blah blah blah

Hi! I am Eunice. 29. Writing whatever, whenever. Casually throwing it all out here.

[eunicexxx]

I discovered Olivia Dean in early 2024 through an Instagram reel of her performing 'Dive.' Since then, she's become a staple in my go-to playlist. I love listening to good music, and honestly, sometimes I'm not too concerned about the lyrics, I'm just in it for the jam and the vibes. But Ms. Dean really makes you want to pay attention to her words.

I love Dive, Reason To Stay, Float, Be My Own Boyfriend and Password Change. That's why when she announced that she'll be releasing a new album, The Art Of Loving, I was instantly seated.

I think she first released 'Man I Need' and 'Lady Lady' (if i am not mistaken) from the The Art Of Loving album and I instantly loved it. That's why when the full abum was released, i took time to really listen to it. I fell in love with the song 'Let Alone The One You Love' and 'A Couple Minutes' which are the songs that I feel was really written for me. Every lyrics felt like we lived in the same situation!

Let Alone The One You Love

It's too much to mend You're the hug that had to end Though I've tried to hold on And if you knew me at all You wouldn't try to keep me small Who would do that to a friend Let alone the one you love?

For me, this song feels like letting go. A year ago, I was in a situation where I was fighting for my place in someone's life. I didn't want to let go because I was terrified where to go from there. What would happen to me? I'm scared to be alone. Even though it's hurting me, I was willing to hold on because I don't want to lose everything we had. It's true that the people we love the most are the people who can hurt us the most.

And any choice you had worth making I'd push you to take it No questions asked, no doubt in mind But when they're mine, yeah You react like I'm crossing a line I'm too much to handle and just dial it back a bit Well, well, I'm not having it, babe

This part of the song really took hold of me. This was exactly what I had to endure in that situation. Every plans, every choice that person has, I supported it with my all even if it hurts me. Why? Because I loved the person. But when it's my turn to tell my plans, to make a decision, I was shut down. Suddenly, I was too much.

A Couple Minutes

I guess we've found a silver lining I'm glad you're doing so well If only you could see how I've been If I'm being real, you know it ain't been the same We could talk if we want now I already know it's no good for me

It's alright, think I'm fine with the silence There's some good in goodbyes

Back on your sofa Of course, I still care Love's never wasted When it's shared, mm, mm And although it's over I'll always be there Only have a couple minutes, guess we're going back to real life

Thank God for turning points and realizations! I can finally say that I am free from that situation, from that feeling. The redirection was not easy but it's all worth it. I would always care about the person but not the same as before. I can now face it without the fear of getting attached again. Of being left behind again. Because I know it's not good for me anymore. That phase of my life is now over. And it's so freeing. I am free. :'))) That's the silver lining in all of it.

Thank you, Olivia Dean! I love you and your songs so much! Thank you for making music I know lots of people can relate to. Especially those who were like me that are not good in expressing what they are feeling. To more wonderful songs! <3

[eunicexxx]

my mind still can’t fully grasp how everything seems to be moving so fast—days, nights, months, years. i think i finally understand what old people meant when I was a kid; that as you age, time moves with you.

i did enjoy my childhood, all those play and pretends. i just hope i didn't wish to grow up so fast.

today is some time in july. i'm here in my room and it's raining outside. i love the rainy season especially if i don't have to go anywhere. i am feeling so much right now. there's just something about the rain, the sound of it pitter-pattering on the roof, the quiet gloom of the sky. but i also miss the sun; its warmth even the sticky feeling it brings.

anyway, it's been awhile since i last posted here. i've been journaling more often. it's accessible, and when i read my past entries in the past years, i am amazed at how many of the things I wrote about have actually come true. and i get to know how my mind works, how i thought, and what i cared about—may it be good or not.

oh, this blog, it's already 14 years old. half my age. wow. you've seen me grow, you witnessed my teenage years up to my late 20s. with everything that's come and gone, i'm glad you're still here. <3

this post is so random. just like how my mind works right now. blaming it to the rain. oh, writing this as i listen to some bon iver playlist. and i'm glad i'm reading so much books.

bye xx

[eunicexxx]

"“Some journeys take us far from home. Some adventures lead us to our destiny.”

CS Lewis said that.

And I’ve lived it.

I’ve wandered, and even though I felt lost, I was stumbling Home.

We’re too quick these days to label wanderings as being astray, as being adrift, of being unable to be found.

But most people I know wander because they’re looking for something.

They set out into the unknown in hopes of discovery.

In hopes of encounter.

And I’m convinced the only way to get into the Truth is by adventure.

I wrote a poem years ago about this - my own decision to start a journey, trusting I’d be saved from Death :

“When you walk off the compass and the rose has lost north, I could sing to you of marble trust and we can both march forth

The night is dark, the road is long the wolves here offer no support You can lean on me, my back is strong and we can both march forth

This unknown land has a secret wood the brave here made a fort We call them slaves, those who stayed and stood, but we can both march forth

Now we venture in uncharted lands and by the sea there’s a port Looking back from these distant sands we see that long lost north.

Oh, my chest has this journey’s brand since we both lost north—across the sea now, just take my hand and we will both march forth”

So here’s to the wanderers.

The ramblers.

The wayfarers.

May you find the Truth of getting Home.""

[eunicexxx]

I just love it when people say that I look happy. It's the best compliment I could ever receive in this moment of my life. Because I really do feel happy and joyful. Praise be to God for the joy that abounds.

I just want to address the elephant in the room. So many things have happened these past 4 months. And I will be honest, it's not good. We were hurt, we feel betrayed, and injustice was served because of abuse of power. And I'm not a big fan of injustices.

I tried my very best to act good, to act like everything that has happened was good and for the good. But I can't pretend anymore. I came to a decision that I want to distance myself away from these people. People who abused the power that was given to them. People washing hands like Poncius Pilate. People who didn't want to take accountability. People who didn't want to accept corrections. And people who talked about others behind their backs. I came with a decision that I no longer want to be part of that system.

And to be honest, I don't regret any bit of that decision. God is good. And truly, everything works together for good. When I decided to step my foot outside, that's when I realized that there is a world outside. That I should not live in those four corners forever. That my calling is not limited by those walls. That my calling and my mission can and will be used outside of it. Little by little, step by step.

I am not closing my doors. Because I know I will be back. The Lord will put me back to the place I am supposed to be in, where He wants me to be. I just want to be clear that not because you can't see them, does't mean they're not okay, or that they're in a bad place, that they lose faith. But ofc, I am grateful for those people who reaches out from time to time.

For now, I am praying continously for healing of heart. That I'll be able to look them in the eyes and smile at them. That I wouldn't feel any anger or question them and their actions. Because they too, are recepient of God's grace just like me. So, please pray for me as well.

Leaving this here. In God's perfect time, eveything will be alright.

[eunicexxx]

wonderful 6 years...

Last December 6, 2024, I submitted my resignation letter. My last day was effective on January 3, 2025.

The feeling was bittersweet. Imagine, 6 years of seeing those people everyday, having the most random conversations, food trips and lots of laughters then in just a month it will all come to an end.

Fast forward to January 3, my last day. I was so excited to go to work that day. Sadly, Carla was not there because she's in Isabela with her family. So I was just with Kuya Jays and Ma'am Raqs. I had no plans for my last day, because first, it didn't feel like my last day, second, we're incomplete. I just packed my things, then asked Kuya Jays if we can go to Subic and asked Ma'am Raqs as well if she wanted to go with us and she happily said yes.

After Subic, we decided to go to Carmelite. It was a Catholic place, it was so peaceful there and the view is no nice and relaxing. We've been there last 2020 pre-pandemic. You can only hear the birds, the cows and the wind. We took pictures as well to commemorate the day. Again, doesn't feel like my last day. And I am grateful for it.

January 3, 2025 at Mt. Carmelite Shrine

Still not sinking in. I just feel like I'm on a leave. Maybe it will take time but I just want to say that I am so grateful for this company. For hiring me when I was so hopeless in getting a job 6 years ago. For trusting me, even if I was a fresh graduate during that time. And I am grateful for my workmates turned friends. I am one of those people who found good friends inside their work. Work doesn't feel work because of them. To be honest, if I am not aiming for growth, and if I don't have anyone to support, I would stay in this company. But we gotta do what we gotta do. For myself, my family, and my future. I'm surely gonna miss them. So much. But I know that when I need them, they will just gonna be there.

Photo taken last December 20, KPH Christmas Party

When I got home, Carla sent me a long message. Telling me she's going to miss me. And I cried!!! I immediately messaged Ma'am Raqs about it and she sent me a message that made me cried harder. She told me that she's sad that I had to leave, that she just played it cool so I won't feel sad. She said, we will still gonna see each other (which is true hahaha).

It's been a wonderful 6 years and 6 months. I wouldn't trade that experience with anything.

Until then, KPH! Arigato Gozaimazu!

[eunicexxx]

New Season, New Beginnings

To be honest, I’m not even sure where to begin. It feels like December was just yesterday, and yet here we are, deep into the month. Everything that’s happened from the start of this month until now feels surreal—almost like a dream I never planned.

But there’s one thing I know for certain: through it all, it’s been the Lord guiding me every step of the way.

Last December 3, Shi messaged me and Allaysa to submit our resumes because their company was hiring. So we did submit but to be honest during that time, I am not quite hopeful since I have plans already for January 2025. But then the next day, the company sent us an email for interview which Allaysa and I nervously attended to.

During the interview, I was so nervous when they asked me about technicalities! I swear I almost chickened out and planned to leave Google meet. But I stand my ground, telling myself that I am doing it for my family. I answered whatever came to mind. I asked them when will I receive the result and they said they will just email me. The next day, I received an email for the exam, answered and submitted it back. During this time, I am already praying and hoping that I would get the job. I was so anxious that I am telling myself that if this didn't push through, it means God has another plan for me. I prayed and prayed, asking God to silence my mind and ease my hopeful heart if the job was not for me. He led me to this verse in the book of Job:

Job 22:21, 26-28

“21 Submit to God, and you will have peace;     then things will go well for you."

“Then you will take delight in the Almighty     and look up to God. 27 You will pray to him, and he will hear you,     and you will fulfill your vows to him. 28 You will succeed in whatever you choose to do,     and light will shine on the road ahead of you.

Boom. The Lord's promise. My anxious heart was comforted. Thank you, Lord.

The next day, Shi told us that we were hired but she was asked by the HR not to tell us first, but she was so excited, and as per her reason: 'So you won't overthink na.' Still not sinking in until we got an invite for a 1 week training, and now we are few weeks in. A WFH set up with a very very good salary. God is really good and faithful.

I am currently working 2 jobs, my WFH and my day job with my other company, but I submitted my resignation last December 6, and it was bittersweet. My last day would be on January 3, 2025--a week from now. I'll make a different entry for that.

Right now, my heart is just really overflowing with gratefulness and amazement. I am entering a new season and I hope and pray I'll be able to protect and give my best in this season. May I be able to bring back the glory the Lord deserves. May He be seen through me even in the little things.

I’ve never been great at expressing my feelings, especially in words. But I hope this post somehow captures and conveys what I’ve been meaning to share.

To God be the highest glory forever and ever!

[eunicexxx]

WELCOMEBACK2NE1CONCERT in Manila Day 1

Wait, what? Is that really the title of this entry? Can you pinch me and tell me it's not a dream anymore but it just happened and I was really there at the concert? If I tell my 15 year old self about this, she won't probably believe me. Because it was just a dream, a wishful thinking…

Okay, let's walk down memory lane before I talked about the concert experience.

I started fangirling 2NE1 when I was 15 years old. They were already 3 years in since their debut. Not a lot of people in my life knows that I'm a Blackjack (what 2NE1 calls their fans) and that I stan them HARD. They had their first concert in PH last 2014 and it was heartbreaking to not be able to go. Well, simply because I was just a student back then and had no means of buying a ticket. Fast forward to 2016, they announced their disbandment and that was a total heartbreak for me and for all the Blackjacks (most especially those who haven't watch them perform live). So the dream to watch them live became impossible. But I think I'm unconcsiously hoping that one day, I'll be able to watch them perform live.

May 2024, it was their 15th year anniversarry as a group. It was celebrated, and I know somehow, my fellow Blackjacks are thinking that there could be a possible reunion concert. And then sometime in July they announced that they are back and last September they posted that they will be having a concert in Manila!!! And oh my freaking goodness that was one of the best news in 2024!!! cries in buckets The CRAZYNEKS (me, Karen, Joanna, Juvy, Melord, Shi, Liz) were so excited that we planned and talk about our desired seats. We planned to get lowerbox seats. But unfortunately, when the ticket selling day arrived, only me, Shi and Liz got tickets. It was not our desired seats but at least we were able to secure. I swear it was so hard to get tickets, may it be online or onsite.

(this photo above was 10 years apart. From a simple dream to reality. OMYGOSH)

Still not sinking in. I can't believe we are really going to 2NE1's concert.

November 16, 2024

We got the day 1 concert tix. We met fellow Blackjacks (hi Shey and Jelai!), and the girl who went as Sandara Park with her palm tree hair--cute and A for effort! The moment that my ticket got scanned, and the light turned green, that's just when my excitement hit the roof. I kept telling Shi that it's real, it's really happening. We went inside the Arena, in our designated seats and realized that we got good seats! I swear at that time I'm so close to bawling my eyes out. 7pm, the show started, and when the silhouette of them 4 appeared, the whole Arena screamed and shouted. When CL shouted the intro of 'Fire':

"I go by the name of CL of 2NE1! It's been a long time coming but we here now. And we about to set the roof on fire, baby! You better get yours coz I'm gettin' mine!"

And yep, they really set the roof and the whole Arena on fire!!! waaaaah!!! I can't even put to words everything that I felt that time. I sang, danced, screamed with the girls and it was really a dream come true. cries again can't believed that happened!! Also, I can't believe that I still do memorized their songs. After all those years, I think it was really etched in my heart…

(with fellow blackjacks, Shey and Jelai and with my blackjack besties, shi and liz)

Sadly, there are songs wherein Bom was at the backstage because she's not feeling well. But during 'I LOVE YOU' she's back and until Encore she's there. They performed 'IN or OUT' as well and this time CL have practiced! We waited 10 years for that and it's all worth it! (tanggal angas ni CL sa Pinas!)

But every good thing comes to an end, right? But we're all not ready! We want more! If only I have the means to attend all their concert, I'll definitely would. 15 years, but the performance is still like no other. Grabe kayo, 2NE1!

After the concert, our eyes were swollen from crying! Roller coaster ride ang emotions ng mga Aunties during the concert. Lol.

They're my youth. This may sound so cheesy, but really a part if me was healed that night. It was just a dream, a wishful thinking. Then it happened. And I was there. (WHAT?!)

(random concert photos...)

AHHHH CAN I JUST COPY AND PASTE WHAT I'M FEELING HERE SO YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT I'M FEELING???!! HUHUHUHU!

Thank you for coming back, CL, Bom, Dara, Minzy! <3 2NE1 BLACKJACKS 4EVER! NOLZA!

[eunicexxx]

#foreBERTwithALLAYSA

October 5, 2024 my friend got married to the love of her life. The best wedding I attended so far. (Naks, review pala? Lol.) From the ceremony to the after party, it was really a day to remember because it was a reunion as well with my high school friends.

We checked in at the hotel night before the wedding day. I was roomates with Shi, Ja and Ge. We went to Allaysa's room around 10pm because she was asking for help in making her vows. And ofc, as good friends, we stayed with her until she finished it and asked me to proof read! (hahaha sorry Bert, I saw her vows firsthand).

Her cousin, Trish, was supposed to sleep in her room that night but she was not able to make it so Allaysa asked me and Shi to sleep there instead. You cannot say no to the bride, right? And we didn't want to. We want to stay with her as well. We slept around 2am because we need to! And to be with her on her last night as a single woman is very sentimental to me. I am just so happy for her (just by thinking about it, I think I'm gonna cry).

Allaysa, writing her wedding vows.

Last night as Ms. Allaysa Klietz.

The ceremony was so intimate. Both of their vows were so pure and full of love. All of us were crying our eyes out. They were really a match and their love story was really orchestrated and blessed by the Lord. Oh, and Allaysa was the most beautiful bride. No exaggeration, she just really that beautiful.

Headed to the reception. What I learned in this wedding is you should really get bridesmaids and groomsmen that are really close to you and you know loves you with all their heart. Because they will be willing to do anything for you. And that's what we did. And we were all proud of our performances! Ha! All for you, Bert & Allaysa!

Our most looked forward part of the event is the after party. I couldn't tell you enough how I enjoyed it personally! So many firsts and I'm very very happy to be reunited with my High School friends! Jerico was there, and we've missed him so much. And I hope he knows it. Because we really do. And for Jon, I was happy to see that side of him. Hahahaha I can't!

Going back to the after party, it was surely a core memory. Dancing and singing our hearts out. I can't point a finger on it, but a part of me was healed that night. And if you would ask me if I would go back to that night again, I would.

Here's to Allaysa & Robert! And to their new life together ahead. Make God the center of your relationship always. Excited for your 'mini me's'!!! <3

[eunicexxx]

DRAG RACE PH SEASON 3

This girl is back again in her drag race era! I have watched DRPH Season 1 and it was the first Drag Race franchise I have watched. Shoutout to Bie for influencing me! Anyway, I love that season and the queens very much that I didn't watch the season 2 because I can't let go of the previous season. And now, DRPH is back with Season 3 and this girl (me) is so obsess with it! I am loving this season so freakin' much!!!! Grabe, mauubos na lalamunan ko kakatawa! Annnnnd if I can describe this season in one word, it would be: DRAMA. A total drama and I'm loving every bit of it!

(I remember in S1, my bias was Brigiding. I got so kilig when she replied to my message and liked my IG stories of her and Divine Divas.)

My bias now in S3 is Maxie Andreison and I can't tell you enough!!! In drag, sobraaaang ganda! Out of drag, sobraaaang gwapo! I can't…. plus she's a (LIVE) singer, dancer, and did theater (so she can basically act)!!! She's a SUPERSTAR! Very very talented and very very humble huhu. It's my dream to watch her perform live!!! Aggghhhh, please bring me to Maxie!

'Di ba???? Sobrang ganda, ughhhh!!!!

As for my top 3 queens, it would be: Maxie, Khianna and Angel. Maxie and Angel are biologically sibilings and I swearrrrr their bond is so sweet. <3 As for Khianna, girrrrrl!!!! She a baddie!!! Parang Marina Summers ang atake. Talagang ~COMPETITION~!!! Pak!!!

And Angel is so funny!! Grabe sobrang ALIW! Walang episode na hindi ka matatawa kay bakla! Lol!

Excited for episode 7!!!

[eunicexxx]

LIFE UPDATE: JULY & AUGUST WRAP UP

Suprise, surprise! August is about to slip away again and I am just writing my July wrap up. We that said, I'll make it as July and August wrap up instead.

Well I think, July was just the continuation of my June shenanigans--nothing much. Locked up myself, fell on a reading slump, tried to heal my broken heart (lol). That explains why I didn't do anything worthy for the month of July and that I totally forgot that I have this streak going on. And my competitive self doesn't want to lose against herself that's why she's writing this. Hehe.

What else? Oh, I ate so much (probably stress eating but whatevs) that I gained 4 kilos. That's why I am feeling heavy for quite some time now. And I decided to go back to jogging and little bit of dancing (in my room) as a form of workout just to sweat away excess fats! And to be honest, it felt so gooooood!

I do now understand why Taylor Swift said in her song 'August' the lyrics 'August slipped away into a moment in time' because it really does! What's with August anyway?

At some part of mine was a mess! I swear, I came to a point that I no longer want any people to come near my personal bubble. I am simply happy living in my room with my books. I thank the heavens for books! The whole emotional roller coaster made me out from my book slump! Silver lining. Hehe. My books were really my emotional support during those trying times. Lol. Currently on my 14th book for this year. I think I'll be able to reach my goal of reading 20 books for 2024.

Speaking of books, I just want to thank my Papa for that $40 Amazon gift card. I was able to buy 5 books. Super hassle-free to shop from Amazon. I hope I can shop from there again before this year ends.

Anyway, achievement unlocked: I didn't take any leave from work for the month of August. Can you believe that? Lol. Savoring every moment of normalcy. Iykyk.

I think that's all. 4 more days and it'll be September already. Praying for the best…

[eunicexxx]

Kim Soo Hyun Asia Tour in Manila 2024

I never thought a time will come that I would actually attend a fan meeting of a Korean celebrity!!! Up until now, I cannot comprehend how everything happened and how the heck I was able to attend. Lol.

So if you have read my previous posts, you will surely know that I'm into Kim Soo Hyun right now because of his drama, Queen of Tears. So when they announced that he will have a FM in Manila, Karen and I decided that we have to go. Very fan girl moves!

June 29, 2024 we went to Araneta Coliseum to attend the said event. We were both first timers to attend a fan meeting, and we're so thankful that everything went smoothly from our bus ride and until we arrived at the event place.

While we were waiting for the gates to open, we walked around Araneta City and we were so happy to see our fellow Filo fans! We took pictures and then we realized that we didn't look like an actual fan meet goers since we didn't have anything! Rupps suggested that we should look around to see if there are sellers of headbands or banners with Soohyun's face but unfortunately, we can't find one. Turns out, it was prohibited around Araneta. But, good thing I saw an Ate walking wearing a KSH headband. Asked right away, and lo and behold, she's a seller. So we bought headbands and lightsticks! I know, very fan girl moves again! Hahahaha!

And then, while we were on the line going inside, we met a fan in her 40s I guess? And she said that it was her 3rd time to attend a KSH FM. She's so nice, she make little kwento about her FM experiences.

Fast forward to the event, it started at 6pm sharp. When KSH went out on the stage, ofc, a lot of shouting, screaming happened! The crowd was so loud (well, it's a Pinoy crowd, best crowd)! After his first singing performance, he greeted the crowd with 'Kamusta? Ako si Kim Soo Hyun. Magandang gabi." And yet again, the crowd went wild! And he cried!! Because of his fans' support and love for him.

He performed 'Love You With All My Heart', 'Wherever You Will Go', 'Someone You Love', 'All of You', 'Yodel it' (which is his first time singing in his FM!!!) and 'Way Home'. His vocals were so good! He can really pass as a singer-actor.

I won't put everything into detail, but is was such a fun fun fun experience! From my tv/phone screen to seeing him in person, it was a full circle moment that up until now, I still can't believe that it happened. And if you ask me if I will do it again my answer would be a big YES! KSH gave the best performance ever and to be honest, it was more likely a concert than a fan meeting I swear! Lol. To more FMs and concerts in the future!

Also, Kim Ji Won will hold her first FM in PH on August 3. Sadly, Rupps and I wasn't able to secure a ticket but it's okay. At least we were able to attend KSH's.

[eunicexxx]

Life Update: June 2024

I always love the month of June. Not just because it's my birth month, but there is something special to it that I get excited every time it will come by. But the month of June this year was totally a roller coaster ride for me and my emotions. To be honest, I find it hard to give an update for this month because I am scared to feel everything again. But here we go…

June 12

I was assigned to lead the P&W for the provincial Youth Revival. I am not feeling good that time in so many aspects but God carried me through and for that I am so so so grateful. Before the event, I keep questioning and asking if they're sure that they will put me on that. But God is good, that's all I can say.

June 16

I was pressured to tell what I was feeling during that time. It was supposed to be a secret between me and a friend but ended up telling the whole room instead. But I think it was really supposed to happen because that was where everything started to be unfold.

June 17

Watched a movie at the Cinema at 11am! Yes, 11am in the morning. I was so happy during mid-day without knowing that I am bound to experience the most painful heartbreak ever up to date. I have no clue nor hinch of what was happening. Until I was given hints with the situation that I ended up guessing it right. I won't put to details everything, but during that moment, I can really feel my heart being ripped inside my chest. It was so painful, my hands were shaking but I can't even cry. I feel so betrayed. It feels like I was stabbed in the back by the person I trust the most and that is the most painful part. And the saddest part is, I can't even get mad at this person because this person is so close and special to my heart. I can't put into words everything that I felt during that time. I prayed and prayed for God to heal my heart. To forgive the people who caused me this pain. I hope time will come that I can look at them without any question or hatred in my heart. I am trying my very best to just act cool, like nothing happened but I can't. And now, I don't know if I can trust anyone around me anymore. I want to put my heart in a safe box so no one can hurt it again. And you know what, I want to seclude myself for now. Because I am afraid I might hurt them like how they hurt me.

Okay, let's move on. Fast forward to my birthday, June 26.

Start of my birthday week, I feel so lost and emotional. I feel okay but I do not have joy in my heart. I am happy while in the moment but after that, when I am alone, I feel sad that I don't want to do anything for my birthday. But Mama planned everything, and I want her to be happy so I just let her to do what she gotta do. So my birthday celebration happened. Thankful to the Lord for all the provisions. Thankful to Mama for planning everything. And thankful to my friends who made time to celebrate with me.

Oh, June. I don't know where to put you. I don't know if I can look at you the same way as before. But I hope I would.

Hey, if ever you reach this part, can you pray for me? For God to heal my heart and let me forgive people and forget what they did to me.

(Also, last June 29, we went to Kim Soo Hyun's fan meet!!! I'll make a separate entry for that.)

[eunicexxx]

My brain is not braining today. I had the best sleep these past few nights except last night. And the consequences are coming to me now. I didn't even know how I got here in the office. I don't trust myself in making decisions today. I need sleep. Even just a nap. Huhuhu. I wanna go home already and splatter myself on my bed.

[eunicexxx]

Life Update: May 2024

backtracking May happenings

drum roll

This update would be shorty short because I realiezed I don't have much happenings in this month. An uneventful May!

May 7

I met up with Allaysa, Shi, and Janelle. They kidnapped (yes, you read it right) me, and we went to Clark. They didn't tell me until we were already entering SCTEX because they're afraid I might back out daw. Lol. We had coffee at Moon Cafe. Their kitchen was already closed when we arrived. I was so so hungry my friends felt bad. So we decided to eat at the nearest Mcdonalds, and life is good again.

May 12

Triboa night with Pau, Sheena, and Zy. A cute night. I love introducing new cafes to friends. And I am happy they've tried Triboa with me. Everything was so sponty and that's what makes the night more cute. Hihi. Will definitely do it again.

May 18

Kim Soo Hyun Asia Tour Fan Meeting ticket selling day! Before they released the fan meeting details, me and Rupps were already planning that we would go. Because maybe, it'll take yearssss again before he comes back here. Exactly 10AM we were on queue, and grabe nerve-wracking talaga. Once we have entered the site, we were given 15 minutes only to transact! And in that 15 minutes, ang daming nangyari! Hahaha! If only they have CCTV in their house, grabe itsura namin don. Anyway, we didn't get our desired seats, but somehow comforted because at least we got the tickets!!! So yes, I am announcing here that we will go to KSH fan meeting on June 29! Wooh!

Also, sad lang din because I had to sell my tickets for One More Chance The Musical because same date sila. So I had to give it up huhu. But!!! Okay there's a but!!! They announced that they will open shows again on August! So I would still have the chance to watch! Hihihi. Oh how I wish!

May 29

Marked my 1st year as pulpit minister. WHAT?! The Lord is good. So so good. All by His grace. I have nothing to boast.

Grateful for everything that has happened this month. Looking forward to what's gonna happen in the coming months. Hopeful and peaceful knowing I have the Lord with me. <3

[eunicexxx]

Life Update: April 2024

Guess what? I forgot that I have a monthly life update series here! Been so busy (mentally) the whole April. Because everytime I would have something important to do let's say, in a month, I would block everything and consume my time focusing (weh) or thinking about my task that I consider myself busy. Lol.

So let us look back to what consumed my existence the whole month of April. (jkjk)

Assigned worship leader for 2 Sundays with 1 week interval. I am not complaining because it's my joy to serve the Lord in whatever way I can. So I consider this joy and not a consumer of my existence! Lol.

Assigned preacher for KKB Service. Again, not complaining. Grateful to the Lord for using my life even though I know I am not worth it! It amazes me still how God appoints and how He equips. Woah. Praise the Lord for this wonderful opportunity! Always, always grateful.

Okay, this part was what really consumed my entire existence. And I am not even exaggerating.

If you have read my previous entries, you already know that I've been watching Queen of Tears. And that this drama, took every ounce of me to the point that I do not know what to feel now that it has ended. Okay, spoiler alert: it's a happy ending--which we deserve!!! Which BaekHong deserve!!! It has 2 special episodes which was shown last May 4-5. And that concludes the QOT. And now it has officially ended. And I don't know what to feel. :((

But I am one happy fan girl because tvN released the long version of their lovey-dovey scenes in Germany! And heck, it was so good that you cannot convince me anymore that it was just acting!!! I can't see it as BaekHong but SooWon!! The kissing scenes are my faves espcially that scene under the lamp post and the church in the background and… hahahaha! Who am I kidding, I love every kissing scenes in Germany! And all the behind-the-scenes, OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS I love everything!!! I can't help but to hope and pray, that Kim Soo Hyun and Kim Ji Won would end up together in real life! Like real couple in real life. Huhuhu. And to be honest, I don't think I would leave this restaurant anytime soon. All of my socmeds are full of them. Not complaining, though. Heheng~~

Also, I love being delulu hahaha! But what I would love more is a confirmation from their agencies that they are dating each other and planning to settle down. Hihihihi!

Anyway, shout out to Rupper Karen, for being with me in this fangirling era. We were reunited because of QOT! And I am happy to be able to share this with her because if I am all alone in this, I would definitely go cray cray!

So, that's all. Keeping this here so when the time comes, I can just look back and laugh at myself at my own expense lol.

[eunicexxx]

I can't remember the last time I cried so much because of a kdrama series. I'm watching Queen of Tears, watched Episode 14 last night. At teh GRABE SOBRANG SAKIT NG EP14 BAKIT GANON?!?! WALA NA BANG EPISODE NA PURO MASAYA LANG??? KUNG HINDI MASAKIT SA UMPISA, MASAKIT NAMAN YUNG ENDING NG BAWAT EPISODE?!!! SABI NIYO ROMCOM TO!!! HUHUHUHU PARA KONG TRAUMATIZED BAWAL EPISODE EH HUHUHUHU!!! MULA EP13-14, DI NA KO NAKAFOCUS DUN SA LOVEY DOVEY SCENE NG BAEKHONG DAHIL INAANTICIPATE KO NA YUNG MASAKIT NA PART DAHIL FOR SURE MERON!! DI AKO NAINFORM, KAMING AUDIENCE PALA ANG QUEEN OF TEARS!!! PERO ANDITO PA RIN AKO!! ALSO, LAST 2EPS NA LANG…PARANG AWA NAMAN NA SANA HAPPY ENDING TO!!! PARA WORTH IT NAMAN LAHAT NG LUHANG ITINIGIS KO!!!

ANYWAY, STELLAR PERFOMANCE ANG ACTING NI KIM SOO HYUN AND KIM JI WON DITO WALA KANG MASASABI!!!! DESERVE NG MARAMING AWARDS!!! DALANG-DALA AKO TEH!!! SA BAWAT SCENE NILA FEELING KO ISA AKO SA KANILA DAHIL DAMANG-DAMA KO!!! I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS HA PERO ANDITO AKO AT HINDI KO ALAM KUNG MAKAKAMOVE ON BA KO SA DALAWANG YON. ANG TANGING HILING AT PANALANGIN KO, SILA END GAME SA TOTOONG BUHAY LIKE BINJIN!!! PAG YUN NANGYARI, MAGCECELEBRATE TALAGA AKO AT DOON PA LANG AKO MAGMOMOVE-ON!!!!!

GRABE NAMAN KASI YUNG CHEMISTRY TEH JUSMIYO!! NAG-UUMAPAW!! SA MANAGEMENT NILA, SANA WAG NIYO SAYANGIN YON DAHIL ONCE IN A BLUE MOON LANG KAYO MAKAKA-ENCOUNTER NG GANONG CHEMISTRY! I KNOW IMPOSSIBLE SA MGA KDRAMA NA MAG-ULIT NG LOVE TEAM SA MOVIE OR SERIES PERO MAKE EXEMPTION NAMAN SA DALAWA JUSEYOOOO~~~!!!

GRABE ANG LALA TALAGA NITO HAHAHAHA PERO WALA AKONG REGRET HA, NAGPAPASALAMAT PA AKO DAHIL MAY GINAWA SILANG GANONG DRAMA!!! NAGLALABAS LANG AKO NG SALOOBIN KO DITO!!! MAHAL KO YUNG DALAWA, BE IT AS BAEKHONG OR SOOWON (AHIHIHIHIH OO MAY SHIP NAME NA SILA!!!) GUSTO KO TULOY MAGPUNTANG SOKOR HAYSSS!!!

MAG-UUPDATE AKO DITO AFTER NG LAST EPS. HINTAY NA NAMAN AKO NG 1 WEEK!!! HAY QUEEN OF TEARS, DA BEST KA KAHIT ANG SAKIT MO SA PUSO!!!

P.S. GUSTO KO RIN NG GANONG KLASENG LOVE SA LOVE NI HYUNWOO KAY HAEIN AND VICE VERSA!!! GRABE TALAGANG IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH!!!! AT SA LAHAT PA NG SITWASYON AT PAGKAKATAON!!! HAYYYY TINAASAN NI HYUNWOO NA NAMAN STANDARD KO!!! PAANO NA ITO MUKHANG WALA NA ATANG GANON!!! HMPPP!! DI BALE, BASTA MAGKATULUYAN SILA IN REAL LIFE OKAY NA AKO PRAMIS HAHAHAHAHA

[eunicexxx]

Life Update: March 2024

I almost forgot to write my March 2024 wrap up but here we go. Heheng~

scrolling through my camera roll for pictures

Johnoy Danao Cafe Tour @ Triboa Cafe

I've been a lowkey fan of Sir Johnoy since 2017 because of IDILY's OST 'Burnout' by 3D (Dumas, Danao, Dancel) and been wanting to meet the trio. (I already met Dumas and Danao. Hihihi! Sir Ebe, kayo na lang po hinihintay ko to complete the 3D experience and hopefully kayong tatlo while perfoming Burnout 3D version!) So when he posted on his IG that he will be having a cafe tour, I messaged him na I wish Subic will be included in one of his tour and promised myself that I would really go if it will happen. And then, some time last January, he posted that Subic will be included in his tour!! Fast forward to February ticket sale, I bought a ticket and decided to go alone. Fast forward again to March 9, I'm at Triboa Cafe, watching him as he play his guitar and sang along with him and the crowd. What a moment. Nati-teary eye na ako when something unexpected happened. But everything's been under control, all is well. But still hoping for next Johnoy Danao tour na walang mag-ruruin ng moment ko.

Served 3 Services

So I finally had my debut in leading worship for 3 services straight! I lost my voice but all is worth it because it is for the Lord. Thank You, Lord for the strength! Would've not done it without You.

Hm, what else?

Oh, this month is full of 'tambay' and food trip with the core. We always see each other but we never run out of kwento. I love them so much talaga!

And I think the highlight of my March is watching Queen of Tears. Starring Kim Soo Hyun and Kim Ji Won. The effect of this drama to me is unexplainable! I do not cry easily when watching movies or dramas but this one really hit the spot. Finished episode 8 last night, and yes, I am updated. Excited for weekends for the release of new episodes. I swear, there is something about that series that resonates with me. Also, I've been shipping KJW to PSJ since FFMW, but now I am shipping KJW to KSH!!! Ugh, the chemistry is so real I wish they will be like BinJin!!! Hay, please please please, let them be real! Also, please let it be a happy ending.

Looking back right now, my March was an uneventful month! Hahaha! But I am happy. Finished this month with flying colors (and paos! Lol). All by God's grace.

Am I ready for April? We have no choice but to answer yes. Hahaha. Praying for more more strength in all aspect of my life!