King Of Pathetic Men

He/him. Creator of “Welcome to Goldport” among many many other projects. Here to make funny and that’s about it

[the-worm-man]

Opening Commissions Again!

[littleguysdaily]

This was a Patreon Request

[littleguysdaily]

I'd like your attention for a moment, after some internal review we need to issue a rare rebalancing for Rocky.

NO CHUCKABILITY - We had not seen Rocky with earth-like gravity, and so needed to adjust for this oversight. NO BONES - We were unsure how to solve this, but after much deliberation, we have come to the conclusion that whatever Rocky has got ain't bones. MAX MEDIA LITERACY - We had an unchecked earth bias that clouded our judgement. Rocky's ability to adapt to a culture which is literally alien is extremely impressive. That they were chosen for such an important mission must mean that they are an exceptional Eridian, and their ability to communicate across such a wide gap should have easily gained them that third star.

[cali]

guy whos email is mario19 cuz he is 19 years old and when hes 20 he deletes the old mail and resigns up to every service with mario20 and when he gets to mario25 and its in use already he solidifies into a stone statue and stays in stasis for a year

[cali]

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

im actually cleft in twain right now can i call you back

[snapscube]

I go to Babble’s Cafe, it’s a new little cafe that’s opened nearby. I go inside and the cute pink barista is so excited to take my order. I order a very simple chai. She excitedly takes my order and goes to make it.

5 minutes later.

She has remade it 7 times. I don’t understand. It’s just milk and chai concentrate. I’d be angry but I just kinda feel awkward atp. I don’t know if I should say something. Her coworker came out to help her after the third attempt. She’s crying.

it’s her first time on the world

[calebwittebane]

wait so right after being resurrected jesus went to heaven anyway? then what was the point of all that besides spectacle omg

[calebwittebane]

*a look of realization* just like pjackk...

[deepfrieddeltarunememes]

y'know in many ways Kris is very nearly Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes

[puddox]

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

[yuriinullification]

holdon

what the fuck is going on in this site's backend

[mrsandman42069]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This phrase has already entered my vocabulary re: media criticism where like. The viewer has a concrete view of what they expect a story to be based on the tropes and cliches they're used to seeing together, and when that doesn't happen, they judge it as a failed depiction of what they assumed it was going to be instead of judging it as what it actually is.

"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?

"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?

"This feels like it's missing a conclusion! Like, the protagonist does bad stuff and because of a critical decision he makes as a result of his major character flaws, meets tragedy in the end! Where's the part where he learns better and brings is love back from the dead and becomes a good guy and gets a happy ending?": When does he steal the fucking bread??

[thetetra]

I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

[fishtrouts]

Winter’s Chill - Part 3

This is a continuation of the winter’s chill comics Part 1 and Part 2! The links lead to the previous parts :)

[hachama]

[thel1ghtningthief]

bringing this one out of the comments cause. yeah.

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[thickness-protection-program]

If you ask me I don't want "good Christians" in government to counter the "bad Christians" I just want a separation of church and state like they promised us in third grade

[ducktracy-deactivated20260315]

[fandomfishbish]

i foand my boit suttufuhcut an’ it says oim fouah

[ducktracy-deactivated20260315]

[fandomfishbish]

i foand my boit suttufuhcut an’ it says oim fouah

[samwisethewitch]

I literally do not care what the Bible says about any political issue. I am not Christian. Christian scripture should have zero effect on my life or my personal freedoms. 

[zatclaire]

I hope the next 4chan post that gets adapted into an indie film is Bridget Forcefem Tulpa