How to Find What Brings You Joy
joy is not as far away as it feels right now.
but i understand why it feels that way.
for a long time, i thought joy was something i had to figure out.
something hidden.
something i had to chase.
something that would finally arrive once i became a certain version of myself.
more healed.
more confident.
more put together.
i looked for it in big decisions.
in life direction.
in questions like:
what am i meant to do?
what’s my purpose?
what will finally make me happy?
and the more i asked those questions,
the further joy seemed to drift.
because it started to feel like pressure.
like something important i was supposed to get right.
but if i’m honest,
the moments i’ve felt the most joy were never that complicated.
like the time i made tea in the afternoon and actually sat down to drink it, instead of carrying it around while doing something else.
or when i put music on and didn’t try to be productive at the same time.
or when i laughed at something so simple, and didn’t immediately move on to the next thing.
those moments didn’t come from figuring out my life.
they came from being in it.
that’s the shift i’m learning now:
joy is not something you find at the end of clarity.
it’s something you notice in the middle of living.
and i know that might feel almost… underwhelming.
because a part of you wants something clearer.
something more certain.
something that tells you:
this is it. this is your joy.
but joy doesn’t usually arrive like that.
in what feels light.
in what feels gentle.
in what you don’t have to force yourself into.
what will make me happy forever?
what feels a little bit better right now?
not perfect.
not life-changing.
just… a little bit better.
maybe it’s going outside for a few minutes.
maybe it’s choosing something you want to do instead of something you should do.
maybe it’s letting yourself linger in a moment instead of rushing through it.
these are not small things.
this is how joy starts to trust you.
if you’ve spent a long time in survival mode,
joy can feel unfamiliar.
your system is used to urgency.
to pressure.
to always looking ahead.
so when things get quiet,
you don’t always feel peace.
sometimes you feel… restless.
like you should be doing something else.
and that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your ability to feel joy.
it just means you’re still learning how to be with it.
you don’t need to solve your whole life to feel better.
you don’t need a perfect plan.
you don’t need to “find your passion” in one clear moment.
you just need to start noticing what feels like a soft yes.
and let that be enough for today.
so here’s something you can practice:
today,
choose one small moment
and stay in it a little longer than you usually would.
don’t rush it.
don’t multitask it.
don’t turn it into something productive.
just let yourself be there.
even if it feels unfamiliar.
especially if it feels unfamiliar.
joy is not hiding from you.
it’s waiting in the places you’ve been moving too quickly to feel.
and you’re allowed to slow down enough to meet it.
if this resonated,
start with your worthiness workbook.
it will help you gently reconnect with what feels true, safe, and enough without pressure to “figure everything out.”
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