Evaludate

A bi-weekly podcast about examining straight dating sims from a gay perspective. Co-hosted by @dragonomatopoeia and @rinmemesuoka

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Greetings, Lovely Listeners!

You have found our home on Tumblr!

New episode and recording announcements will be posted on both Bluesky and Tumblr. You can ask questions for new recordings in the replies of Twitter announcements, the replies of Tumblr announcements, or our ask box.

(You can also ask general questions in our ask box if you’d like, but we may not answer right away.)

If you are on mobile, please access our episode navigation page via this link.

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Evaludate Episode 109: NEVER KILL YOURSELF (Lucien Neuschburn of even if Tempest, Part 3)

Summary:

Today on Evaludate, Air and Madelyn return after an amount of time Madelyn does not wish to think about. Anastasia is back at the helm as the point of view character, but this route isn't done sidelining her yet! The route keeps gesturing at being about cooler things than what it is actually about, and reminding us how much better Zenn is while repeatedly being racist about him. There's also a goddess.

Content Warnings:

Anti-Black Racism: 10:15 - 10:59, 25:25 - 26:05

Suicide: 47:12 - 48:35, 49:27 - 49:39, 50:25 - 50:33

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[Video Description: An "AMV" of Michelle Branch's All You Wanted with CGs from Even if Tempest featuring Lucien, intentionally exported at a lower quality as a pastiche of 2000s-2010s Youtube AMVs]

Hey where did this come from?

Evaludate is back, and we're finishing Lucien's route of Even If Tempest! Sorry for the long absence! If you have any questions about this route, please reply here or message us!

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Evaludate Episode 108: Playground Rules (Lucien Neuschburn of even if Tempest, Part 2)

Summary:

Today on Evaludate: Anastasia finally gets the point of view back, but her other love interests are still doing Lucien promo; we just don't have time to address the interpersonal ramifications of time loops in our time loop game; and if you're The Devil you have to tell me.

Content Warnings:

Anti-black racism: 12:10 - 12:35

Suicide: 17:20 - 17:23, 19:04 - 19:18

Cannibalism: 36:07 - 40:10

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[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A screenshot from Arthur, featuring Buster Baxter at a computer and originally captioned: "You really think someone would do that, just go on the internet and tell lies?" A cropped portrait of Lucien, from even if Tempest, with a look of concern, has been pasted over Buster's face, and part of the quote has been black-out to instead read: "You really think someone would do that, just tell lies?" END ID.]

Whoa, look who's back! Sorry for the delay, today we are continuing our discussion of Lucien Neuschburn's route from even if Tempest! If you have any questions for us, please reply here or send us an ask!

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Evaludate Episode 107: World's Most Murderable Ingenue (Lucien Neuschburn of even if Tempest, Part 1)

Summary:

Today on Evaludate: Anastasia has left us alone at a party with her new boyfriend and his buddies, Lucien may only be alive because the witch is also fumbling through this, and Crius may be pushing for the throuple ending.

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[Image Description: A meme format reading: "EVERY FRIEND GROUP GOT", and showing the following characters and titles: Zenn Sorfield as "THE HIMEDANSHI", Tyril I Lister as "TRANSGENDER ALLEGORY", Anastasia Lynzel as "AUTISTIC INDIVIDUAL", and Lucien Neuschburn as "THE STRUGGLER" END ID.]

Good afternoon, Lovely Listeners! Today we are beginning our discussion of the Lucien Neuschburn route of Even If Tempest! If you have any questions about the game or the prince, please reply here, or send us an ask!

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Evaludate Episode 106: The Jonkler (Zenn Sorfield of even if Tempest, Part 4)

Summary:

Today on Evaludate: The bad endings in this game are kind of Odd, huh; Zenn continues to be an impossible act to follow, sorry Lucien; Anastasia goes to Chicago - and: what if Batman was Princess Tutu?

Content Warnings:

Anti-Black Racism: 10:31 - 11:38

Suicide: 37:51 - 40:16 , 1:06:50 - 1:07:36

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Good evening! We have updated the blog with a dedication Episode Navigation page, so you can more easily browse all of our episodes and access our series tags. For mobile users, we've added a link to the page to our pinned post.

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Additionally, we have decided to move our twitter presence to bluesky. You can find us at https://bsky.app/profile/evaludate.bsky.social

[evaludate]

Good evening! We have updated the blog with a dedication Episode Navigation page, so you can more easily browse all of our episodes and access our series tags. For mobile users, we've added a link to the page to our pinned post.

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[Image Description: A mockup of a light novel titled "Trapped in Another World, I Became the Heroine's Undying Accomplice in the Witch's Wicked Game", featuring Zenn and Anastasia on the front cover, and Ish, The Witch of Ruin, on the back cover. END ID.]

(Back cover text under the cut at the bottom of the post)

Good afternoon, lovely listeners! Today we are continuing and hopefully completing our discussion of the Zenn route of even if Tempest. If you have any questions for us, please reply here or send us an ask!

"Who Wants To Live Forever. . .? Zenn Sorfield was living his dream as a starting player for the Chicago Bulls when he was pulled from The Windy City into the kingdom of Hystorica--a fantastic place whose citizens live in fear of the machinations of witches and their omnipotent human tools: the murderous Membra.

Although Zenn attempts to steer clear of witches and their ilk as he builds a new life for himself, he finds his life turned on its head once more when his new world goes back in time not once, but twice, following the tragic and suspicious execution of the eldest prince's fiancee, Anastasia Lynzel.

At his lowest moment, he is offered a deal from Ish, the so-called Witch of Ruin: So long as he doesn't involve himself in the Game that Ish is playing with Anastasia, the Witch will find a way to return him to his own world.

It seems like a no-brainer. Zenn wants nothing to do with their dispute, and he is suspicious of Anastasia's actions, anyway. But, this supposed heroine continues to approach him, and Zenn begins to wonder if Anastasia Lynzel is truly the Witch he thought her to be. . ."

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Evaludate Episode 105: Red is Niceys (Zenn Sorfield of even if Tempest, part 3)

Summary:

Today on Evaludate: Lucien is really bad at Among Us, Mael goes directly on our shit list, Anastasia and Zenn continue to be the world's biggest sweeties, and we successfully frame Crius for murder (Yay?).

Content Warnings:

Discussion of Anti-Black Racism: 11:39 - 14:45, 17:12 - 18:18

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[Image Description: A tweet from the user oafworld on twitter imposed over in-game portraits of Anastasia and Zenn from even if Tempest. Anastasia is smiling confidently, and Zenn appears exasperated. The tweet reads: "boyfriend gets upset if i say i'm gonna kill myself so now i add "and then i come back to life"". END ID.]

Good evening, lovely listeners! Today we are continuing our discussion of the Zenn route of even if Tempest. If you have any questions for us, please reply here or send us an ask!

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Wish I Was A Baller (Zenn Sorfield of Even If Tempest, Part 2)

Summary:

Today on Evaludate, we wish we could forget about all this murder-witch nonsense and play a game of HORSE with our best friend Zenn, Lucien can't be the cool one for two seconds, and Madelyn fails to frame Crius for murder.

Content Warnings: The subject of capital punishment/the death penalty comes up in this episode. In light of recent tragic events, we feel it's necessary to warn listeners that while the event doesn't come up in the episode (this was recorded prior), the subject of capital punishment is discussed.

Suicide: 19:26 - 20:02, 36:24 - 36:42, 45:55 - 46:27

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Editing is basically done, so the episode should go up tomorrow evening after I timestamp it. I apologize for the long wait!

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[Video Description: an even if Tempest “AMV” created using Windows Movie Maker 2012 and intentionally exported at a lower resolution to create stuttering and lower quality images. The AMV plays over a segment of the song It's Gonna Be Me, by the band N*SYNC. It opens with an opening credits message reading: “Even if Tempest SPOILERS!! WATCH AT UR OWN RISK NO FLAMES PLZ”, followed by a second opening credits message reading: "FOR REAL SPOILERS I MEAN IT!!!" and continues by panning and zooming over CGs from the Crius, Tyril, and primarily, Zenn routes of Even If Tempest. The video ends with credits reading “GAME evne if tempest SONG its gonna be me nsync editign xX3v4lud4t3Xx I OWN NOTHIBG!!!!!!!!!!!!!” End Video Description.]

Good afternoon, lovely listeners! Tomorrow, we will be recording our next episode on the Zenn route of Even If Tempest. We thought it might make things a bit easier on everyone's schedules to just have the announcement posted ahead of time. If you have any questions about the best boy in the game, his route, or the game as a whole, please reply here or send us an ask!

[evaludate]

[Video Description: an even if Tempest “AMV” created using Windows Movie Maker 2012 and intentionally exported at a lower resolution to create stuttering and lower quality images. The AMV plays over a segment of the song It's Gonna Be Me, by the band N*SYNC. It opens with an opening credits message reading: “Even if Tempest SPOILERS!! WATCH AT UR OWN RISK NO FLAMES PLZ”, followed by a second opening credits message reading: "FOR REAL SPOILERS I MEAN IT!!!" and continues by panning and zooming over CGs from the Crius, Tyril, and primarily, Zenn routes of Even If Tempest. The video ends with credits reading “GAME evne if tempest SONG its gonna be me nsync editign xX3v4lud4t3Xx I OWN NOTHIBG!!!!!!!!!!!!!” End Video Description.]

Good afternoon, lovely listeners! Tomorrow, we will be recording our next episode on the Zenn route of Even If Tempest. We thought it might make things a bit easier on everyone's schedules to just have the announcement posted ahead of time. If you have any questions about the best boy in the game, his route, or the game as a whole, please reply here or send us an ask!