Dani

“ 𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪’𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰— 𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘪’𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶. “ He/him

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Spam Intro Post ! !⋯⋅๑┈•✦ ➴

 August ໒꒱ Daniel ᛝ boything (???) ᛝ he ᥬᩤ him ᛝ [suspected] bpd + adhd .⋆♱

❥ About ⋆ Weird little guy on the internet yaps on a spam blog about how its really over this time [it never is] [hes crazy] As i said, its a spam so ill be really informal 99.9% of the time. However that being said, i will have shed type of behavior + grooming/etc. trauma mentioned on here [tagged ofc but you know] I really love people though!! feel free to moot me/int if were moots.. i dont bite im just really bad at engaging first hehe!! Uhh what else. Fifteen, Wolf therian/otherkin, certified puppyboy and worlds biggest dog nerd.

❥ Interests ⋆  My current hyperfixation is gachiakuta, if you fw it PLEASE moot me oh my goodness. Otherwise, im into alnst, chainsaw man, tshd, few/misc yaois, mouthwashing, moral orel, warrior cats, animal studies (dog + horse fancy), umamusume, and love bullet ^_^

♱ finishing - jjk, litc, link click, given, mp100, tbhk

❥ Music ⋆  Fan of Frank Ocean, Mitski, Beabadoobee, Laufey, She Wants Revenge, PTV, KMFDM, Malcolm Todd, Kendrick Lamar, Chief Keef, Chase Icon, Pinkpantheress, and Sidney Gish among others ^_^

Till + Daisuke’s number one boygirlfriend :3c 

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” So, excuse me, i’ll be opening my box of old friend misery; my secret treat. To feel like myself again. I won’t be here, i’ll be where nobody can reach. “

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sh ment specifically scars

one thing thats always made me sooo angry was the fact that none of my cuts ever looked like what everyone elses styros did. mine healed so flat and smooth and now theyre fading off. but the BURN MARKS FROM MY AIR FRYER IS A RAISED SCAR. ok. whatever. not mad not mad about it not mad about it. not at all.

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its just got my heart racing and excited again, if i wasnt staying ‘clean’ atm i would have just now but i kinda have to sit in it now :/. call me yuri the way i

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sh ment but like /clean

im sorry im really actually braindead this is the first time ive experienced being ‘triggered’ by people talking about sh its usually never ever bothered me but it just made me feel ? a weird thrill to make me want to go back ? even looking at cutspo never did that for me. maybe its just been awhile and ive gotten soft or something. or maybe its just because it was people discussing how to go deeper that made me feel like that. i dunno.

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my little baby adams apple always gives me a little euphoria idk

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maybe ill like. idk. work on myself or something. be productive

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i stopped wanting to kill myself and had the energy to talk to more than two people today omg

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holy shit i forgot i had a blog because strattera has actually made me want to blow my brains out? im irritated as fuck im always cold im always tired every time i stand up i feel nauseous and dizzy i feel like passing out constantly and i hate everyone. someone just euthanize me

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but i really truly want to ruin my life again. i only feel good when its going bad.

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i need to cut and really badly too. im either gonna cut or starve and i want to be good for people so i cant starve myself. and i want to say that ill go easy and say ohh itll just be cat scratches but i KNOW it wont be but i need it more than anything. its the single thing that makes me feel whole again. fuck meee can jt be winter already

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id feel a lot better if i could cut myself but whatever i guess it doesnt matter i cant kill myself i cant cut myself i cant starve myself omg you people cant do ANYTHING

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it sounds so peaceful, bleeding out somewhere. hopefully to never be found.

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i keep getting this hissing urge to just kill myself every day. i try my hardest to stamp it out, that itll ‘get better’ but what *is* better for me? is that even possible for me anymore? has it ever been? the only times that ive felt “happy” were selfish, self-destructive and violent. i cant do that anymore. because those hurt people. but i have no other ways to cope with myself. and ive never been taught, because no one has bothered to. so, whatever, i guess.

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i dont even know why i post this kind of stuff. its kind of embarrassing, actually. but it just feels better to assure myself i sound just as crazy outside of my head as it does inside, i think.

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” Does my pen only write bitter words for those who are dear to me? Is it love if I take you, or is it love if I set you free? “

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and the worst part is that i can hardly bring myself to care. i dont care about myself or anyone else. i guess saying that i dont care about anyone and everyone is out to hurt me are contradictory, though. but its true. ive been so out of it for a long time that its hard to express anything anymore. i joke about dissociating but its genuinely ruined my life. i dont know who or what i am. i dont know when ive done things, or read my own thoughts, or actively participate in any conversation im having, its robbed me of everything that people live for. my friends dont know me. my family doesnt know me. hell, i dont know ‘me’ either. it hurts to lie to everyone i know. how i can be in a room full of my closest friends and still feel so disgustingly alone. its easy for me now, sure, but it feels awful every time. having to smile and nod at everything and trying to have a consistent sense of what im “supposed to be like” to each person. its subconscious in the way i *cant* be my authentic self because there is no “real me”, its all empty. theres nothing in there to show for all of the things ive gone through. its never been “good damage” and it never will be, because im so ruined by everything that wasnt even that big of a deal that now i cant remember anyones face off of the top of my head, or know what they asked me an hour ago, or why i love this person, or anything about myself. its horrible.