LET HER GO.

ALICE ROBIN EVANS Wassup? The name's Alice Evans. If by some chance you were looking for hell, congrats, you totally found it.

[swnaqueen]

[evansalice]

TEXT MESSAGE || PRINCESS GWEN

Gwen: I'm busy.

Alice: Ah. Right, sure.

[notgrounder-deactivated20150308]

[evansalice]

TEXT MESSAGE || PRINCESS GWEN

Gwen: You're not. This is my fault.

Gwen: [unsent] I like you. A lot.

Gwen: Okay.

Alice: Your fault? Please. I just dropped a bomb on you, and you're blaming it on yourself?

Alice: Good. You should come over, I feel like kicking your ass at SSBB.

[evansalice]

TEXT MESSAGE || PRINCESS GWEN

Gwen: Why?

Gwen: I'm sorry.

Alice: 'Cause I generally am? And I clearly don't know how to keep shit to myself. I was always rambunctious that way. That's the word my parents use, anyway.

Alice: It's cool, yo. Don't worry about it. You can't change who you are anymore than I can.

[evansalice]

TEXT MESSAGE || PRINCESS GWEN

Gwen: I don't think you're an asshole.

Gwen: Uh, it's just that I don't do relationships.

Alice: No? I sure do feel like one.

Alice: Yeah, I figured.

[evansalice]

TEXT MESSAGE || PRINCESS GWEN

Gwen: Shoot.

Alice: I kind of like you. Kind of a lot. I've never really liked anyone before, cause I suck at everything that has to do with romance, pretty much. But when we're together I just, I feel something. Really happy. And Jesus, man, I'm not good at this shit. Not at all. Please tell me I don't sound like a total asshole.

[evansalice]

TEXT MESSAGE || PRINCESS GWEN

Gwen: Well, hello, gorgeous.

Alice: Um, I need to tell you something. And you're probably gonna judge me for it. Hell, we should probably talk about this in person, but I'm impatient and just, yeah. Fuck.

[evansalice]

TEXT MESSAGE || PRINCESS GWEN

Alice: Hey, beautiful.

[clonesbians]

[itsgabetho-deactivated20141108]

I dunno, bronacho. But my roommate’s definitely seen you a lot more than I have, if you know what I mean.

[evansalice]

She sure does. I mean, yeah, of course she does. We hang. It's chill.

[itsgabetho-deactivated20141108]

Guess who’s been away forever? Me. Guess who feels super horrible about it? Not me.

Hey, bitchnachos.

[evansalice]

I haven't seen your face nearly enough, friend. The fuck is up with that?

[anabelberries-blog]

And then I wouldn’t have to eat any other vegetable for the rest of the day. That’s genius. I don’t know if my tiny stomach will be able to hold five cakes at once, but I’ll certainly try my bestest. Anything for scrumptious cakes.

[evansalice]

Sheer genius. You can have your veggies and your dessert at the same time. I think it'd be possible. Then again, I ate an entire cake on my sixth birthday and threw up, so maybe that's not the best idea.

[quititdylan-blog]

@whatthedylan: you are now known as ‘wifey’ in my contacts. Feel the love.

[evansalice]

@alicevans: i'm now wearing that title with pride.

[anabelberries-blog]

So, for once, in my entire college life, I’ve actually sat down for longer than a couple of hours and got some serious work done. As a reward to myself, I feel like it’s the perfect opportunity to now address this thought that has been rattling my brain for a good hour. Okay, so if carrots are #truevegetables then does that mean I can eat this whole carrot cake I bought from Safeway and it’ll count as one of my five a day?

[anabelberries-blog]

[evansalice]

That sounds legit to me. In fact, you should probably eat five carrot cakes, then it'd count as five vegetables. Boom. Logic.

[quititdylan-blog]

@whatthedylan: that’s still going to be a thing, right?

[evansalice]

@alicevans: it is absolutely, most certainly still going to be a thing

[quititdylan-blog]

@whatthedylan: you make my world a better place ok? okay

[evansalice]

@alicevans: this is why you're the only man i'd ever marry