ć ¤ Once Upon a Time is a thirteen-year oldās fanfiction that was found by the creators of Lost and stolen for a show in hopes of making some money off the teen population. If the half-formed faux-edgy characters or bad acting doesnāt sell you on just how poorly this show was made, the terrible CGI definitely will. The first season revolves around a character named Emma Swan, aka The Savior, coming to the town of Storybrooke where her son tries to convince her that the town is actually full of fairytale characters that are under a memory erasing spell. The show has a way of making you forget that youāre watching a fairytale story until later you realize that āOh! They just had Prince Charming cheat on his wife with Snow White. And then The Evil Queen framed Snow White for the murder of Prince Charmingās wife by hiding that wifeās heart in a box in the place Snow and Charming would always meet.ā
ć ¤ While the first season seems Wild, each subsequent season tries to outdo itself. The following seasons follow a clear formula constantly trying to convince you that itās a good show. The creatorās favorite persuasion is to twist the usual fairytale stories and then play a dramatic stinger underneath it as if to convince the viewer to say, āoh shit!ā Each time it makes this attempt, I am met with an intense feeling, but not the intended one. Itās a burst of laughter, a burn of secondhand embarrassment, and the impulse to share it with a friend so I donāt have to go through it alone (and may I say, I think my friends are starting to get sick of me).
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā The show is held together by attempts to be a show that makes the viewer sit at the edge of the seat waiting to see what happens next. These attempts often involve corrupting or redeeming a āgoodā or āevilā character respectively. While the show constantly brings in numerous characters from Disney movies or any other existing story for that matter (such as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea), it seems to forget this sometimes, so we are left with characters who have been corrupted and redeemed 6 times alone (in Rumpelstiltskinās case).
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Might I also add that the show often does a twist saying that two fairytale characters were actually the same one. If we take Rumpelstiltskin as an example again, he is at least three different characters off the top of my head. He also happens to be the Crocodile from Peter Pan and the Beast from Beauty and the Beast. This isnāt even counting the family tree. Please feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph while I sort that out. Rumpelstiltskin is the son of Peter Pan (whoās evil) and the Black Fairy (whoās the origin of all evil or something?). He has a grandson, Henry, who is also the grandson of Snow White and Prince Charming. Henry also happens to be the adopted son of Regina, aka The Evil Queen. Regina if the daughter of the Queen of hearts and the sister of the Wicked Witch of the West. Sheās also Snow Whiteās step-mother. Regina also happens to be soulmates with Robin Hood, whoās previous wife was sentenced to death by Regina before the curse. And Robin also had a daughter with the Wicked Witch but he didnāt know it was her at the time because she was pretending to be his dead wife.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Iām stopping myself there. If you read any of that, you now hopefully know how complicated the lore is and how near impossible it is to explain. You may have also gleaned how fucking stupid it is. That was all just a small section of the family tree. The actual lore of this show involves people who are definitively good or evil (but they can be redeemed) and authors who are all powerful gods who control Everything but are also just Some Guy. And of course, a being of pure light magic called The Savior (Emma Swan aka Snow White and Prince Charmingās child) and a being of pure dark magic called The Dark One (Rumplestiltskin). I forced myself through the show. High out of my mind if I had to. And I gotta say, folks.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I kinda love this show.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā At some point it starts to get confusing what the creators were thinking while making this show. You drive yourself crazy trying to put yourself in their heads. Do they know how dogshit it is? Are they trying to convince me this dogshit is actually fucking ratatouille? Or do they know itās bad?
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā By the end of season 6, I started to get the feeling that the writers had finally decided to accept that no one in the universe would consider this a good show; however, the show must go on so they may as well have fun with it. They finally left behind the attempts and just leaned into how bizarre the lore theyāre spun truly is. They timeskip and they say. āHey. We know that weāve gone too far. We know we crossed a line somewhere along the way. But buddy? Weāre not turning around. Weāre gonna find throw back some brewskis and have a little fun.ā And they decide to say that, āActually? All those characters you just saw? The seemingly infinite number of them? Thatās just the start. Theyāre just one of an actually infinite number of that same character that exists in the multiverse. Weāre gonna make a new main character and sheās gonna be Cinderella. Yes, I know we already introduced Cinderella in season one. But this is a different Cinderella. From a different thirteen tear oldās fanfiction. ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā And so it becomes a show that clearly knows itās bad. And I sit there and realize I had fun. And I realize that Iām still having fun. And I realize that that was the point. I spent the whole show taking everything so seriously, and for that, I partially blame the show for taking itself seriously. But somewhere along the way, the show stopped. And I followed suit shortly after. And it was fun.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I loved watching Once Upon a Time.