rum on a fire

matthew 10:16 || eve, 19, theology

[lifeinpoetry]

I learned how to hug here, how to draw a boundary and hold here against the gale force

of my mother’s late-night rage and sob; learned too what it meant to be chosen, to choose.

— Donika Kelly, from “Sighting: Tarot,” The Renunciations

[hazyaffection]

[evehansenn]

nataliadeleon​:

evehansenn​:

>sadie hawkins dance// eve&natalia

-

Natalia had lost sight of Eros…again. ‘Of course he was a wanderer’ Natalia thought to herself fondly as she walked her way to the punch table. She’d take a break for a few moments before she’d go looking for her date. The dance has been going on for a while now and she hoped all the drinks would have been spiked by now. It would be a travesty to be stone cold sober on a night like this. Her tia would have a fit if she knew that Natalia was no longer a stranger to alcohol and even drugs but then again, Natalia would have never felt the need to try them if not for her aunt’s overbearing insistence of banning it in the name of the lord. Both items were the first things she tried when her rebellious “fuck the lord” phase came about as soon as she reached the freedom of not being under the watchful eye of her guardian twenty four seven.

 As the sweet smell of spiked punch reached her nose, Natalia beamed as she served herself a cup, downing it before serving herself a second. Her eyes wandered until they fell on a familiar face from her advanced french class. Eve. Natalia tilted her head, trying to come up with the last instance they ever interacted…which had only been for some mundane reason in class. Eager to fix that Natalia makes her way towards her classmate. Giggling at the utter look of boredom on the girls face, “You look like you are ready to do something drastic just to get away. Let me guess… extra credit is the reason you’re here?”

“What gave it away?” Eve chuckled, “The miserable expression or the lack of date?” Natalia, from French; ah yes. Eve was an underclassman, therefore she hadn’t had many social interactions with many people her senior. “Drastic? I don’t know about drastic, as soon as my presence has been noted I’m peeling.” She hadn’t planned on staying very long in the first place, eager to be in the comfort of her own bed. Eve noticed the girls punch, no doubting it was tainted, she wondered how soon until everyone was sloshed, thankfully Eve had her share before that.

“Are you here for extra credit as well or did you bring an actual date?” She peered over Natalia’s shoulder; no man seemed to be waiting for her. Eve’s gazed wandered, taking note of nearly every fellow classmate’s attendance, seemingly on dates with each other.

[evehansenn]

acaciabuchanan​:

The short responses didn’t really throw Acacia off too much. Somehow, she’s managed to get a knack for getting conversation out of anyone that was willing, or at least getting it out when the other person seemed uncomfortable about the situation as a whole. It wasn’t as if she seemed to be troubled, but something did seem off and Acacia was a little worried about the younger girl. Well to be fair, she was worried about most of her classmates from their shared French class since Monday. Maybe worried was the wrong word, but there was mild concern and intrigue to what the professor revealed. 

“By choice?” Going alone to a dance was nothing new but Acacia only ever did once. It wasn’t unheard of, and with this day and age, it wasn’t going to be uncommon, but somehow in the spirit of these changing times, their Catholic school decided it was time for the girl’s to ask and for the most part it seemed like most of the female population jumped at the chance. “Any reason why?” Acacia asked, hoping she wasn’t prying too much

“I just,” Eve tried to start explaining, it was by choice, her choice. “I wasn’t even planning on staying long anyways.” Dances were not Eve’s first choice of entertainment but she figured she’d stick around to see who all would show up with who. “Dances are an invitation for trouble.” She gestured towards the drunken horde taking up the dance floor. Eve had been keeping to herself outside of class since Monday; everyone else seemed so keen on ‘witch craft’ which left Eve out in the cold, not ready to even discuss the topic.  Ever since she was a child she had a way of compartmentalizing parts of her and tucking them away for self preservation. 

“Besides,” She sighed, “the dorms are locked up at 10pm anyways, and my roommate wasn’t so appreciative last time I showed up after hours.” Then again if she had remembered to bring her keys that situation could’ve been avoided, in all honestly she lost her residence key the first week she came back and hadn’t found the time to request a replacement. 

[evehansenn]

emmettxclermont​:

evehansenn​:

>sadie hawkins dance

pretty woman// eve & emmett

As the song started to come to an end and both of their movements slowed, Emmett was able to catch more glimpses of the other people on the dance floor and everyone seemed to have been watching them, which how could they not have been? Emmett was certain that they had looked absolutely ridiculous, but he was having fun for the first time that semester, so nothing else really mattered. Both of them were laughing and breathing heavily and before Emmett knew what was happening, Eve was falling and since she had ahold of his hand, he went down with her. The cold ground felt good against his back, however. So maybe it wasn’t the worst. He turned his face to look over at her, still smiling brightly. “Who knew we had such talent, right? I mean, that was impressive.”

Before she knew it, Eve’s ass was firmly planted on the ground. “These stupid floors, who WAXES THESE?!” Eve hollered in between laughs. She wiped the tears that brimmed over her eyes, trying to control her breathing and calm down. She looked over at him, not caring they were in the middle of the floor and laughed, “I’ll be sure to add it to my resume.” She tapped his chest lightly before sitting up on her knees, trying to find the energy to get up.

[evehansenn]

acaciabuchanan​:

evehansenn​:

>sadie hawkins dance// eve&acacia

Acacia and Dae didn’t get to the dance too late, but it seemed like it as there were a considerable amount of people continuing to make their way into Baker Hall. Despite the fact that she did have a date for the night, Acacia didn’t want to be hanging on his arm all night. They had the whole night to be around each other and she wasn’t going to drag him around. A glance around the hall, Acacia saw a familiar face by herself, which seemed odd. She told Dae in a few words that she would be right back, waiting for his understanding, before leaving his side to go to the table that a bored girl in pink seemed to have acquired as her date for the night.

“You look lovely tonight,” Acacia said, hoping to not intrude on the girl. Although she knew many faces around the campus, she still struggled with names. What Acacia did know was that she was in her French class, and she was pretty sure it was Eve, but Acacia wasn’t going to take a chance in the chance she was wrong. “Are you here alone?”

Eve was lost in her thoughts, mindlessly humming along to the music. She wasn’t necessarily sad she didn’t have a date - she wasn’t at school for dates. Although it would’ve been nice. She jumped at the woman’s voice, not noticing her advance, “Hm?” Eve’s automatic response, she analyzed the girls face before quickly realizing it was Acacia from her French class. She didn’t know much about her, only that she was an upperclassman and Eve was one of the younger students in the course; the age gap made making friends harder for her. It took her a moment to remember where she was, she looked down at her dress and it clicked. “Oh, um, thank you.” It was one of Eve’s Sunday’s Best dresses, which rarely made appearances outside the church.

“I’m alone, by choice though.” Eve didn’t bother asking anyone, she wasn’t interested in entertaining a sweaty mongrel didn’t exactly excite her. “I’m here for the extra credit, really.”

[evehansenn]

emmettxclermont​:

evehansenn​:

>sadie hawkins dance

pretty woman// eve & emmett

Emmett danced foolishly and freely, not paying any mind to the other people around them and what they might be thinking. He let himself get lost in the music and the moment. He was laughing and it actually felt genuine. It had been a long time since his stomach had hurt from laughter. And that felt really good. He looked over to see Eve with her eyes closed, appearing to be just as comfortable in her weird dancing as Emmett was in his. This made his face light up and when she motioned for him to come closer, he did. He gently took hold of her hand and twirled her underneath his arm, all while they were continuing to dance like idiots.

They danced for what seemed like forever, laughing and squealing the whole time. This was one of the few times Eve had felt like herself since coming to school this year. Being pegged the weird Mormon girl isn’t exactly the best rep to have. She twirled and dipped, thankful someone could see past the smoke and mirrors. The song winded down and Eve’s laughter trickled into a giggle, still holding into Emmett’s hand, slowly swaying ‘til the end of the tune. “That was,” Eve paused, trying to catch her breath, “probably the most fun I’ve had in a while.” 

[evehansenn]

drkoenig​:

Dom puffed away absently at the joint, letting the smoke burn the back of his throat and not caring much, not even coughing. He was shocked that Eve finally took him up on the offer, especially considering it was weed this time, not tobacco. “Living differently is not being a bad influence.” He watched as she raised it to her mouth, wondering if she even knew how to smoke, “I think you’ll enjoy it.” 

Eve had seen plenty of people smoke, she may have stolen a cigarette or two from her parents growing up, but she was no smoker. Eve had figured plenty of people smoked marijuana, why couldn’t she? “If I don’t you’re gonna be in trouble.” She inhaled gently on the joint, coughing lightly before handing it back, coughing a few more times into her elbow. “That stuff stinks.” She giggled at herself, the effects taking hold quickly.

[evehansenn]

emmettxclermont​:

evehansenn​:

>sadie hawkins dance

pretty woman// eve & emmett

“C’mon Eveeeee.” he groaned in protest, tugging on her arm, although he had suspected that she would reject the idea initially. “You can break my toes. All ten of them. I don’t mind.” Emmett wasn’t the best at offering comfort, but he was doing his best to get better at it. Plus, he could tell that Eve needed it. “Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison started playing, which made sense. It had been on the radio every single day for weeks. “You’re telling me you don’t want to go flail our limbs around dangerously to this song right now? Okay, pretty weird if you ask m-” before Emmett could finish his sentence, Eve had stood up and grabbed hold of his hand. He smiled at her, squeezing her hand gently and reassuringly before pulling her out onto the dance floor with him.

The music flooded Eve with feelings of euphoria. She gleamed at Emmett and the two begun to embarrass themselves. Eve closed her eyes and swayed to the music, raising her arms above her head, not completely comfortable with getting too wild. She laughed and twirled around Emmett, before reaching out her arm and pointing her finger towards him, signaling to come closer.

[evehansenn]

drkoenig​:

“Maybe it is,” he shrugged, nonchalantly. He did not see the gravity of the situation that she seemed to, nor did he really care to. “I’m sorry.” Glancing around and noting that they were both alone and cloaked in darkness, he withdrew a half smoked joint from his pocket and lit it, feeling his high beginning to wane. “Want some?” 

“Mhm.” His apology was vacant, though that was expected. She was now standing beside him, leaning against the stone of the building, looking into the courtyard. She raised her eyebrow at him, normally she would’ve declined the offer, but she felt inclined to agree. “Why not?” Reaching out and taking the rollie gently from his hands, she paused before raising it to her mouth, “You’re a terrible influence.”

[evehansenn]

drkoenig​:

“You’re acting like this is my fault!” He called after her, standing still for a moment. Maybe he shouldn’t have done that, but she wouldn’t stop smacking her gum after all. It was basically an invitation. 

Though set in his reasoning, he followed behind her, catching up quickly due to the sheer fact that he had much longer legs. “I am sorry if that embarrassed you.” They were outside now, and Dom found himself thankful for the fresh air. He hadn’t realized how sweltering the building had grown in the time he’d spent with his back against the wall. 

“I’m sure you are.” She stopped and turned to face him, the cool breeze felt nice against Eve’s scarlet cheeks. She probably overreacted, but she wouldn’t let him know that. “It’s rude to stick your fingers in peoples’ mouths y’know?.” She started walking back towards him, “regardless, I needed to cool down anyways, I don’t think many people invested in deodorant this year.”  

[evehansenn]

drkoenig​:

Dom had had enough, and he was enough to not think much of the social conventions he had mentally accused Eve of not following. Without much thought, he stuck his fingers into her mouth and pulled the gum out, before taking her hand and putting the wet mound into her palm. “It’s that easy.” He said, with a smug smile crossing his face. 

Eve was gobsmacked, and embarrassed. She suddenly felt 12 years old being scolded by her father. She stuck the wad of gum to the wall next to his head, merely missing his hair. Then turning on her heel and heading towards to door, having known her attendance for extra credit had certainly been given. She shot a look back over her shoulder before turning the corner into the corridor. 

[evehansenn]

drkoenig​:

“I’m not inebriated, believe it or not.” Though he wished he were, actually. Being drunk might’ve been a bit better than being stoned, but then he might’ve felt inclined to actually dance which was an all around bad decision. 

Another scoff came out of him, that dentist had to be a liar. No one could go through that much gum without coming out of the other side with a dead tooth. “It bothers me because of the sound, it’s annoying. Spit it out.” He demanded, his tone a tad more serious but his smile still remaining. 

She glared at him, then back at the dance floor. She wasn’t going to spit her gum out, what was she? A dog? She remained quiet for a moment, chewing her gum as she very well pleased. “You sound like my father.” She was frequently told to spit her gum out growing up, but she would take the gum and stick it right onto whatever was closest to where she was standing in the moment out of spite. She cocked her eyebrow and blew again, making a crisp, loud snap. 

[evehansenn]

drkoenig​:

“Oh, you know, you’re a smart pretty girl, I suppose.” He was quiet for a moment before speaking again, “if not a little irritating. Surely there’s a man in chess club or something like that for you, right?” Maybe that was a little rude, but in his head, Dom thought it was funny. 

Again with the gum. Eve had a tendency to chew gum without any care for social convention or standard politeness and the sound of it drove Dom up a wall, especially being as high as he was now. He needed it to stop. “You know what does bother me, though? All your gum chewing. You’re going to get a cavity at this rate.” 

“Smart & pretty? You’re nicer when you’re inebriated.” She popped her gum at him. “Chess club? Grow up.” Imagining one of the condescending meat bags trying to have a conversation with her made her laugh, “They wouldn’t even know what to do with themselves if a woman had an opinion.”

She knew the gum pissed him off, she actually enjoyed the fact. She grinned at him, “My dentist says I have perfect teeth,” she blew a tiny bubble, making sure not to snap it, “why does it bother you?” She cocked her head to the side, amusingly.

[evehansenn]

emmettxclermont​:

evehansenn​:

>sadie hawkins dance

pretty woman// eve & emmett

“Thanks, Eve. That’s kind of you. However, you look much better than I do. Pink is a good color on you.” Emmett noticed that the room was beginning to fill up around them and he couldn’t help but to cringe inwardly at everyone’s awkward dancing. He gave her a look and said, “ha ha very funny. I don’t think the nuns would like that very much.” When she poked him in the chest, or rather jabbed him, he couldn’t help but to laugh, although it had hurt. 

Emmett felt a twinge of sadness after Eve’s comment about the unrequited interest, but he was going to do his best to keep her spirits up as best he could, while they were hanging out at least. “Hey, well, that’s okay. Fuck ‘em. Pardon my language, but.” he paused to shrug. “and besides, I’m here now and we can hang out.” His eyes roamed the dance floor once more. It was filling up now. He turned back to Eve then. “You wanna dance?” 

Eve looked down, smoothing out the pleats of her dress and thanked him for the compliment. She whipped her head upwards at his question. Dance? Eve didn’t dance. Or at least in public. “Oh Emmett I don’t know, I’ll probably end up breaking your toe or something.” She bit her lip, looking over the crowd of students. The music was significantly louder now, Eve could barely hear herself think. She loved this song, it had been on the radio for weeks now and Eve would dance to it alone in her room, making sure Tillie was no where in eyesight. 

“Oh fuck it,” She mumbled, “let’s go.” She tucked her purse under her chair to pick up on her way out, grabbed Emmett’s hand and stood up from her seat.

[evehansenn]

drkoenig​:

“I find that hard to believe.” He said, his gaze on the dance floor. They were playing a song by Roy Orbison that had been plaguing the local radios, the dancing students seemed to enjoy it enough though. A grin crossed his face as he watched a dancer lose her shoe in the crowd, having been kicking her legs too hard. 

Dominick was accepting now that the cologne had not worked in his favor, and instead exposing him as the filthy stoner he was at present moment. Luckily, he wasn’t the one under scrutiny by chaperones. Grabbing her wrist before she could pull her hand away from the poke, he said, with an amused smile, “you know, you’re not very nice.” 

“Hard to believe...?” She shook her head slightly, chuckling. 

His grasp caught her by surprise, the first physical touch between the two, Eve felt nauseous. She took a moment to admire his smile, “I never said I was nice.” She spoke softly. She pulled her wrist from his grip, rubbing her other over the are. “It doesn’t seem to bother you much, though.” She leaned back onto the wall, reaching for a piece of gum from her purse and popping it into her mouth.

[evehansenn]

drkoenig​:

Was he really that obvious? He thought he’d disguised the smell of weed well, having doused himself in cologne, but that must have been his punishment for smoking a second joint just before the dance began. At least he was too high to worry about what trouble he might get into as a result. He nodded, repeating “it’s nice,” touching the fabric of the sleeve before withdrawing his hand without second thought. 

“Well, you still could’ve asked someone. I don’t know what goes on in your personal life.” He shrugged, looking over at her and wondering if she could see his bloodshot eyes in the dark room. “There have been a few drunk people and some room not left open for Jesus, but not really anything else. And it’s rude to tell people they smell bad, Eve.” 

Eve watched the stress of her question play out on his face, he smelled like expensive cologne, and skunk. She lightly flinched when he reached out to touch her dress, almost stepping back, she stayed quiet, watching him thumb over the fabric intently, then back towards the silhouette of his face. “They would’ve said no anyways.” She cleared her throat, breaking her gaze.

 Leaving room for Jesus, hilarious. She rolled her eyes, “I didn’t say you personally smell bad, I’m saying why do you stink in this present moment, and I think you were overcompensating,,” Poking a finger at his chest, “it gave you away.”