Waiting.. || Bangchan x Reader
|| - Summary: From High-School lovers to mere strangers. Bangchan visits home and decides to see his lost lover who he left behind so many years ago to succeed in his career. He thought it would be better for her, instead of having her suffer while he was busy in work. He set her aside. Chan no longer the Christopher he used to be in Australia, assumed the girl he loved had given up on him. Instead things took a turn, something he didn't expect.
|| - Pairing: Bang Christopher Chan x Fem!reader
|| - Genre: Angst (at the end), Fluff
|| - A/N: This little blurb was inspired by "Would You Fall in Love with Me Again" from Epic the muscial. The moment I listened to this song, was the moment I started picturing this scene going down. I was in class and began writing it, this will be my frist time writing for Tumblr so hopefully this doesn't flop! So Hello to the world and fellow STAY! I am Eveilishous, also known as Eve and I truly hope you all will enjoy this heartwarming piece.
Years ago back when you were in High-school living carefree still a kid. Learning the ways on how to be an adult, laughing with friends and causing a ruckus. High-school wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows there were times when you felt down. The person who always brought you up was Bang Christopher Chan. Your best friend, your lover, your all. He was your light to your darkness, he was always there when you needed him to bring you up and vice-versa.
The first year of being together he had come to your home and showed up with a necklace and bracelet kit. He a bracelet you a necklace, they were the type where you couldn’t take them off. A permanent signature of your love.
Never in a million years you thought it would end. Senior year rolled by quick, right after you had graduated things started taking a turn. Chris had gotten distant, he started to take on his dreams of becoming a Korean Idol. You knew about his dreams, you supported them you made sure to let him know that everyday. But as the distancing continued you didn’t know what to do anymore, your light was flickering away and soon it would go out. You didn’t want that you didn’t want to suffer in the dark alone.
You kept quiet, maybe that was one of the things you’d regret. Not telling him how you felt about him pulling away. One day, he took you out on a drive to your favorite place. The beach. You two had spent so many sunny days in this beach running around in the sand and tussling in the water. Even at night it was a beautiful sight. It was the perfect place for memories. You both sat in the sand and he began to talk about his career. He was leaving, moving away. Thats when you knew, you weren’t going with him.
In fact this is where it would end between you two. Right here in this moment, where you guys spent the most time with each other. Where there was still a bit more light.
“I’m sorry Y/nnie.” Chris’s voice cracked interrupting your zoned state.
It was rare to see him cry, he’d only cry for things he truly cared about. So why is he leaving? You didn’t understand why he was leaving you behind. You wanted to scream and shout frail your arms all over the place and beg him to stick around.
The only thing you managed to say was; “It’s okay.” Softly, you continued on.
“It’s your dream Chris. Go achieve it.” He looked at you with a longing gaze. He himself was shocked you didn’t try to fight. You knew you could never compete with his wants and needs in life, his career was important to him you knew that. It would always come first so you simply accepted it.
A hand slipped behind your head and fingers edged into your hair, he brought your head towards his and your foreheads touched. His nose brushing against yours, you let out a shaken breath. “I promise you, I’ll come back to you. No matter where you are. I’ll find you.” He told. You nodded, the tears that had begun swelling in your eyes fell as your lids closed. Praying to yourself that this would last just a bit longer. Though it ended just as quick as it begun.
Life since then wasn’t easy. But you’ve managed you have a wonderful job working in photography, a decent home, and a dog named Rex. Honestly that’s all you needed. Did you still feel empty? Yes. You were sat in your living room, your fingers fiddling with the silver chain around your neck. Your head popped up at the faint music going on in the background, Stray kids. You knew the K-pop group thanks to one person. The leader sure did intrigue you, you knew who it was the moment they debuted.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” Your friend exclaimed. She was a friend from your work. The music stopped indicating she turned it off, she knew about the whole ordeal and what had happened. “I forgot that I listened to them.”
“You’re fine. It doesn’t bother me.” In all honesty you didn’t mind listening to them. They were a good group, had good songs and nice beats. Plus it was good to hear his voice, you haven’t heard it in so long. “Ten years is too long of a grudge.”
“Still has to hurt though right? I mean you still have pictures of the two of you, so does your mom.” She walked over to sit beside you on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. It was movie night for the two of us. We both barely went out it was rare for us to go crazy and be social. Which is why we schedule certain days to hang out and do things we find fun.
You continued to fiddle with the necklace, your friend wavered her towards your direction after putting some popcorn into her mouth. “That too.” She referred to the silver chain. “Okay maybe I am still holding on. He did say he’d come back.” Not just say, promise. You’ve been waiting all this time, having hopes he’d show up on your front door with that kind smile of his.
“But he hasn’t Y/n. Not even a text or a call, I mean yeah his family keeps tabs on you. Hannah still visits, there’s nothing from him.” She pointed out. She was right too he hadn’t reached out once. Maybe he did leave you for good it was the only explanation, you didn’t want to give up though. It hurt too much. Every guy you tried to get with wasn’t fitting right, because they weren’t him. Your Chris.
Standing up the blanket you had on your legs fell to the floor. “I’m going for a walk.” Your friend knelt on the couch cushions watching you as you walked to the door. “Hold on, we haven’t even started the movie yet!”
“I won’t be long, I just need some air.” You grabbed your sweater from the coat rack, put on your sneakers and you were out the door in seconds.
Meanwhile, Chan was back in his hometown, visiting for a good amount of time. He caught up with his family and finally got the time to relax from work. Did that stop him? Not really no, he’d still get a few calls here and there about some interviews, photo shoots, etc. He arrived just about yesterday morning and had a long talk with his Mother, Father, brother, and Sister. It was all great until Hannah brought you up. Talking about how last week you and she were having a frosting fight in the kitchen baking some cupcakes and cookies. He had forgotten you still spoke to his family and how they still spoke to you.
He had asked Hannah how you were and all he got was a, “Maybe you should go find out yourself.” Nobody was happy about how he just left you. He wasn’t entirely happy with himself either. Does he regret it? Yes, yes he does. He thought about you every day even when things got hard on him (harder than they already were) he always thought about you, and what you would do in his place. Everything would always turn back to you, no matter where he was it was you that was on his mind. Why he hadn't contacted you? He was afraid to face you, year after year the fear grew. Maybe it was time to stop being afraid.
When he showed up at your mother's home, she was shocked to see him standing there. Mentioned how grown he looked, and how long it had been. She looked like she truly appreciated him coming to say hello. That wasn't exactly the case, and he ended up asking where you currently lived the way a look of sorrow etched on the old woman's face was sickening to him. It only meant he had brought you pain for so many years, and she knew. Yet your mom didn't hesitate to give him your address. Now he stood at your front door, just like you had waited for him to do, for so long. Chan stood with his hands in his pockets thinking to himself. He was here though he wasn't sure if he should be it wasn't fair to you, was it? Showing up out of the blue without a warning.
He made the decision to just get it over with. When he knocked his chest tightened his heart rate sped up, the door opened and he tensed. Yet the person who opened the door wasn't you. It was some woman, did he get the wrong house? He had questioned himself.
Your friend squinted her eyes at the man standing in front of her "Oh my god." she muttered. "Bangchan?"
Chan's head tilted in confusion, okay so this woman knew him maybe she's a fan? Oh great he got the wrong house and he's meeting a Stay at the worst time. "Yea, that's me." He confirmed for her. What shocked him the most was when her expression changed to a hard cold stare, and her arms crossed. "She's not here." Not the wrong house.
“She left to go for a walk, though it’s been thirty minutes and I have no idea no idea where she is.” A walk? Why would you leave your friend at your house alone for a walk? As if reading his mind she answered for him, “Before she went out the door we were talking about you actually.” Well that made a bit more sense. You were always the type to leave conversations when you could no longer handle the thought of whatever you were talking about. You ran away from something that bothered you. There was one place where you could’ve gone, a place he had been avoiding as well.
“You know where she is don’t you?” Your friend asked him. Yes, of course he knew where you went.
“I know exactly where she is.” He confirmed for her.
“Then why are you still standing here? Go on, go find her. Unless you didn’t come here to talk to her and just remind her of what you’ve done.” This woman sure had an attitude. Where did you even meet her anyway? Sure this lady’s backbone was good for you since you’ve always needed some sort of support in life aside from your mom. “Right, thank you.” Chan said with a nod, turning around leaving the property to the very place you first met and the place you had last seen each other.
The winds were harsh today, you were thankful you had brought a sweatshirt. Normally here in Australia it’s pretty hot, but by the seaside and the winds were like this it always seemed colder to you. But it wasn’t cold at all. Here it was just right where it wasn’t hot, it was just warm and balanced. The perfect temperature, the perfect place to be. You’ve spent your time here whenever you could playing back old memories that should be forgotten. Even if some are bad they’re mostly good, something you could hold onto for closure.
Standing some feet away, Chan stared at you. Your hair flowed with the air swirling around you standing there watching the sun slowly go down as it barely touched the waters edge. You looked just as beautiful as the day he left, but older. More mature and grown, but also worn down. He didn’t know what to do, you looked like you had been in thought for a while now. Have you been standing the whole time? Just watching the sea? You’ve been here for almost an hour now, how long would you stay here? Waiting…
For what felt like years, he finally moved his feet the sand moving with him taking a few more steps to you. When he said your name, you turned your head to look at the voice who called you. Strands of hair whisking in your face, your gaze was soft nothing hard, heartbreaking, sorrowful, just soft.
“Is it you? Are you real and not just a figure of my imagination?” You asked him. “Your eyes look tired, exhausted, your smile is torn.” Your mind had imputed a picture of his younger self looking so healthy and happy next to his current self. The differences were evident. “Is it really you Chris?”
God your voice, he hadn’t heard it in so long. He almost forgot it. He wished he could just take you into your arms like he used to before. Bring you to Korea with him.. but things were difficult he was different. He could never be the guy you’re looking for. He was gone. “I am not your Chris anymore.” Chan started. “I’m not the boy you fell in love with. I am not the bright light you’ve been seeking.”
“Would you fall in love with me again? If you knew of the things that made me this way? The things I can’t change?” He asked you watching you remain in your place. Your expression never changing, did you seriously not feel any pain? He couldn’t tell, he couldn’t read you like he used to.
“What kind of things do you speak of?”
“Everyday I’ve been working, putting everything and everyone above me. I lack of self care. I barely get any sleep, there are times where I can’t even properly eat. Working like a dog, answering calls, taking care of the others, hustling my schedule. I have barely any time to come home. I could never be that boy I used to be, I don’t even remember the last time I stopped to enjoy everything I’ve got in life.” He explained. “So tell me, would you fall in love with me again? Even though I am not the light you need? Even though I’m not the Chris you knew?” Chan needed to know your answer, he needed this he needed something from you. So far there’s been nothing, nothing at all. Just that angelic look on your face. Where was your pain?
“If that’s true. Could you do me a favor?” Thats when you averted your gaze away from him. “Just a small task? That would be me some peace.” Your hand coming up to grab onto the chain necklace around your neck. “Could you find a place where I could get this removed? Sell it off to someone far away from me.”
Chan stared at you in disbelief, why would you ask him something like that? Even he wouldn’t have his bracelet removed. “How could you say this?” His fists clutched beside him. “We placed these chains on each other right here on this beach, where we first met. A symbol of our love everlasting. Do you realize what you’ve asked me to do?”
“The only way to remove it is to snap the bind of its core!” Chan exclaimed, raising his tone still in disbelief that you’d say something like that to him.
“Only my Chris knew that, so I guess that makes him you!”
Chan’s shoulders tensed. “Y/n?..” The pain he was waiting for you to show was now there. It hit him like a truck. You looked so broken, you looked like you’ve been holding it all in all these years. “I will fall in love with you over and over again.” You shut your watering eyes, fist clutched to her chest as if it hurt. “I don’t care how where or when. No matter how long it’s been, you’re mine.”
“Don’t tell me you’re not the same person! You’re my always my Chris and I’ve been waiting…” you opened your eyes to let the stream of tears flow, the tears that have been pouring ever since he left. The tears that were produced for him, for his return to her, for him to fulfill his promise. “Waiting..” for ten years you spent your life missing your Chris, when you got the job you’ve been trying to score you pictured him being there with you. “Waiting..”
“Y/n…” Getting your first house with him decorating it to the way you like it and enjoying each other’s company. “And waiting..” Potentially getting married walking down the aisle with our family’s joined together just like they’ve always wanted. “Waiting..” having children a girl or two possibly a boy depending on how many they’d want together. “And waiting..!”
Letting out a choked sob you nearly fell and he was there to catch you. “For… you.” You lifted your chin to look up at him, he was mirroring your pain. Through the exhaustion, you finally noticed who you were looking at. Your Chris. Chris could finally see your pain, you were allowing your hurt to be shown and it’s all because of him. God he did this. Not only the guilt he built up for himself but the mental damage for you.
Chris’s hand went to the back of your head and the other on the side of you face pulling your lips to his in an instant. Both of your tears mixing together in a salty stream of love and exertion. You didn’t pull away, how could you since you’ve been waiting for so long. Many called you crazy, that just means they haven’t loved like you have. They didn’t know what real love feels like, because if you say you love someone then forget about them over time you never truly loved them. When you love someone you never stop loving them, no matter what. Even if it’s just a little bit, the feeling is still there. There are times where you will be able to move on and there are times you won’t but you still love them.
Chris pulled away and set his forehead on yours, bringing back nostalgia from those ten years ago. But this time it was much different. “I’m never leaving you again.” He breathed out, his shoulders quaking as he did so. “Wherever I go, you’re coming with me.” He stated, it wasn’t a promise like last time it was a statement a demand.
“I love you..” you murmured to him. “And I love you too Y/nnie.”
|| - A/n: I truly do hope ya’ll liked it! Again this is my first post and my first time writing for Channie. Let me know if you want to read anymore, maybe leave a request or two in the comments!! Thank you!
