Eventide Paradox

random thoughts

[eventideparadox]

It is true that eldest child grow up with their parents while the younger ones are raised by them.

As the eldest child you are your parents trial and error phase.

As the eldest child your parents expect so much from you.

As the eldest child you should be accountable of your siblings mistake.

As the eldest child you're never good enough.

As the eldest child it should always be a yes to your parents request.

As the eldest child your self is your least priority.

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I'm not the strongest soldier of this battle world but I have to look like one since no one would understand how I feel, how I feel exhausted and down so I build an armour to cover it up.

Many times I blame myself for feeling weak and disappointing people around.

I can't choose myself even for a second.

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Staring at this wheel like my life going round up and down

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Iypophrenia

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How selfish would I be if I decided to leave?

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All I want is to have a long deep sleep in the darkest room

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Music saved my and continuously saving my sanity...

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I have fallen.

I am drowning.

I am suffocating.

The water is to deep I can't reach.

The light from above is fading as I drown.

I was pulled down to deepest of this wide open sea.

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I don't like who I am right now.

I don't know who am I right now.

I feel tired after all the rest.

I feel full without taking anything.

I keep on thinking about nothing.

I keep on faking all this interaction.

I hold all the screams.

I hold all the tears.

I feel like bursting but still smiling.

I'm not well...

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All chapters are burning...

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🌃

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Moon Child

You give me light in my darkest nights.

You keep me calm in my unsettling dreams.

You listen to my non-sense late night thoughts.

You walk with me in the dark.

You made me fall in-love with the night sky.

I find my peace in your deafening silence.

[eventideparadox]

When everything seems to be heavy enough to hold, just shut everything and find your peace with melody. Music is the most peaceful and reliable place on earth where you can relate to every note, every letter of the song. World is very stressful it gives unnecessary feeling of loneliness, disappointment, and failure.

[eventideparadox]

Never be afraid to be the person you really are. Never let them dictate who you should be. Never let them change you. You're not put in the ring of your life to be the person they want you to be, you are put there to be who you are. Mistakes and failure are part of life, without them this life is pure null. #life #ringoflife #beyourself #youareyou

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Capture the ugly memories like your most precious memories. They are the reason why you have the precious ones. #life #reality #lifesreality

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If you don't want to be criticized then don't post your problems online because it's not helping you find the answer or solution, it only adds burdens to you, sometimes looking for the solution by your self first is the best way to analyzed the real situation and what should be your steps to achieve the most suitable solution to your problem. Posting your problems online are childish and immature. Always give your self a respect and privacy, your life is not an open book for all to know. Don't look for sympathy.

[eventideparadox]

I would rather choose to be a whisper in the wind than to be physically present but unappreciated.

I’d rather choose to be an enigma than to be an open book.

I’d rather choose to be a stranger than to be known as what they want me to be.

I’d rather choose to be alone than to be surrounded by ungrateful pretentious social climbers.

I’d rather choose to be hated than to feel back stabbing love.