pizza is bae

everett michael anderson been kickin' for 18 years plan on kickin' for 100 more you might recognize me because I share a face with one of the raddest people I know and have a buttload of siblings floating around but if you're looking for the one voted...

[everettmichael-blog]

Dude, people are crazy.

[shimmeringrose-sub-deactivated2]

I know, Sir. But I couldn’t bring myself to press charges. I’m all healed now so it’s fine, right? I’m glad that no one else was that impatient, yikes. But I think my manager slipped a little extra cash in my tip jar to make it up to me. Plus she helped me clean up and dress my arms. 

I’m pretty sure, yeah. It could have been a number of factors that went into it though, like impatience and frustration. I hate bullies too, Sir. They’re the worst.

[everettmichael-blog]

Well shit, I guess extra tips makes it a little bit better... but fuck, people suck. The other day we were out shopping and I swear to god this dude was zeroing in on Noel’s stomach and I was all like -- listen, don’t stare at my baby mama or my baby, y’know? Eyes away. She’s not a goddamn zoo animal, y’know? People, man. Fucking people.

How’ve you been, anyways? Feels like it’s been forever since I got all caught up with everyone. SOS. 

[noelhummel]

I think most things are pointy when it comes to a tool box – I actually have experience with ‘em since I worked in the garage for so long. What’ll get the job done the fastest, I think, is the screw driver. But, please – don’t get arrested ’cause of me. I can tough it out. For the most part, anyways. – Right, though! What the heck would he do with a helicopter, or a dirt bike, at the North Pole? Do these people know anything about the weather up there? I swear. The things you learn when you open up a book.

.. Wait, wait, wait. Jon Snow? Sweetie, I love you, but – no. We’re not naming our baby Jon Snow..You know what happens to Jon Snow in the show, and I don’t want our child to suffer the same fate. Plus – they’re not a bastard! And everyone will call them that when they’re just trying to live their life. Do you wanna wanna subject your future kid to that kinda torture? I don’t think so. – All right, all right. Simba is my first son, so I’ll keep him good company. And he’s only heavy ‘cause you keep over feeding him all the time. I swear, you’re more of a pushover than I am, and I think that’s really saying something, all things considered.

[everettmichael-blog]

I’ll let you pick whichever pointy tool you want me to use and then -- bam, that inflatable fucker is going down. Problem solved. Aren’t there like... four hundred different kinds of screw drivers? I only know that ‘cuz when I had this robot dog, back in the day, you needed the flat screw driver to get the batteries out and we only had the weird circular one. I had to bust the stupid thing just to get the batteries out and then I couldn’t get it working again. It was horrible. See, these people have never seen snow... so they probably had no sweet clue what a sleigh even was. I get you wanna make it relevant to where you’re at but... c’mon, you’re just gonna confuse people. Get with the program. 

I mean, if you wanna get literal... okay, maybe that’s not the best name. What about Stark? I’m jussayin’... Stark would be a pretty badass name for a kid. Unless some kid named Steve started pushing him around on the playground. That might be asking for trouble, actually. Scratch that. I’m not forcing my kid to pick sides from the get go. When he’s old enough, he can decide -- Iron Man or Captain America. It won’t be easy, but we’ll love him no matter what... right? PS: I don’t overfeed Simba. He only gets like... shit, I dunno, six treats a day? That’s nothing. Garfield ate a lasagna three times a day and he was chillin’ so Simba’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry, babe. We’ve got this. 

[noelhummel]

@noelhummel !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF ME THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS REAL BYE [ confetti emoji x3 ]

[everettmichael-blog]

@everettmichael: look at how fucking cute my girlfriend is #babyandermel 

[noelhummel]

The big inflatable things kinda scare me, I won’t lie to you. I can get behind a dozen of twinkly lights like nobody’s business, but when Santa is flying on a helicopter that’s as big as my entire body? No, ma’am That’s just too much.

You’re too cautious. I mean, I know i’m a hot mess, but carrying a suitcase won’t drag me down. Plus, you know my guilt complex is too big to ignore – I’m gonna feel terrible if you bring everything in, and I don’t get to help. I’m lazy, but I’m not an invalid! 

[everettmichael-blog]

I’ll protect you from them. If some inflatable santa tries to get fresh with you, I’ll pop him with one of those pointy things that come in the tool box stashed under the stairs. Screwdriver? Wrench? I dunno, I forget what it’s called now. But yeah, I’ll stab ‘em with it, and I’ll protect you. Bam. Boyfriend of the year. Here’s a question though... why is Santa even on a helicopter? Shouldn’t he be on a sleigh or something? Now that shit right there is false representation, or something, and I’m not here for that. 

I mean, can a person really be too cautious? I’m just looking out for you and little Jon Snow. I don’t want anything happening to two of my favorite people, y’know? You can totally help out though. I’ve got this. Someone’s gonna have to carry Simba around. You can totally do that. He’s getting kind of heavy so it’s not even that easy of a job anymore. It’d be doing me a huge favor. 

[everettmichael-blog]

TEXT || ANDERCLAN

BLAINE: What a coincidence! I am, too. Who would've thought we'd all be so happily settled down at the same time?

BLAINE: Hah! Good. I'm glad to hear it. [ thumbs up emoji ]

EVERETT: I love that we're all in love. Like, literally, it's amazing. It's kind of insane to think about how far we've all come in a year... and like, this time next Christmas little baby Han Solo is gonna be here with us. Like, what the fuck?

EVERETT: [ clapping emoji ] [ thumbs up emoji ]

[noelhummel]

Y’know what’s cool? The fuckin’ lights in this neighborhood. Like, for real. It’s super pretty, it’s super classy, and it’s kinda like living in The Grinch? Just, y’know, minus the Whos, and a creepy guy that wants to ruin everyone else’s good time.

Since I’m not allowed to do any unpacking, either, I guess I’m gonna be makin’ myself cozy as heck on this couch while everyone around me brings in the fifteen million bags of luggage we all brought. Over packing is totally an issue for me – oops.

[everettmichael-blog]

You should see what Old Man Marshall does with his house -- it’s fucking insane. He’s got so many lights, inflatables, and those laser things going that he knocked out half of the block last year on Christmas Eve. Man, people were pissed... but you’ve gotta admit his house looked pretty awesome. He lives a couple streets over. We’ll have to go check ‘em out later. 

But yeah, welcome to the suburbs. People go buckwild about this stuff. 

No unpacking, no heavy lifting, and no stairs. People fall down the stairs all the time -- it’s not safe, and gravity’s not on your side. We’re totally gonna camp out in the guest room downstairs... or you’re gonna have to let me piggyback you up and down. That’s the only option here. Y’know, for safety reasons, and hey, you only brought like... six bags. It could be worse, right? Lucky for us I only brought one. I kinda like my back and don’t want it to break. 

[theroyalgaypotato]

Visit Original Link

[everettmichael-blog]

heroes always get remembered but legends never  d i e 

[everettmichael-blog]

TEXT || ANDERCLAN

BLAINE: Oh, you know I'm just teasing. [ pink hearts emoji ]

( A BEAT, SMILING )

BLAINE: I believe you. And I've never seen you so genuinely happy before, so I think that speaks volumes in terms of how committed you are. And I'll never stop being happy for the both of you, because I think you really do deserve this. And she does, too!

BLAINE: But.. please, don't eat any knives, all right? [ monkey emoji ]

BLAINE: I love you, too, doofus. And I'm happy to know I beat out Cooper for the Best Man slot! [ confetti emoji ]

EVERETT: I'm in love, and it's great. [ heart eyes emoji ]

EVERETT: Everyone needs to be in love at least once in their life. Like, I'm not even playing with you... it's kind of amazing. I love love. Everyone should love love.

EVERETT: Yeah, no, I'm not gonna eat any knives anytime soon. Hard pass on that one.

[everettmichael-blog]

Dude, people are crazy.

[noelhummel]

.. If there’s ever a day where mozz sticks are 50% off, you better help me become a human battering ram, ‘cause Mama’s taking people down for about twenty-five orders. On the double. – You got us tickets? Curse my brain for doubting you and your ability to think ahead. You’re the best, honestly. Bless you. I owe you a million and one kisses. And maybe like, an extra nugget, or something. Who knows. If we get onesies, I want a C-3PO one. It needs to happen.

Literally, though! He’s the best in the biz. He could probably charge people for that kinda service, honestly. You’ll give him ideas if you go off on stuff like that. I’d only do it when necessary – for example, moments like that – but I’m with you, babe. All day breakfast is a gift from the Gods. Those hash browns? Supreme-o.

[everettmichael-blog]

Oh hell yeah, that goes without saying. I’m your back-up -- the muscle, if you will. Between the two of us, none of those other people are going to stand a chance. It’s a matter of mozza stick life and death. Well yeah, duh, of course I got them. They were selling out like hot cakes and I don’t trust the world not to spoil the shit out of that movie if we don’t see it ASAP, you know? C3PO is all you, babe. I’m all about a Stormtrooper onesie. Or maybe Vader, I dunno. Whatever looks cooler, I guess? Hold up... do they even make C-3PO onesies? I’m gonna have to look this up. 

I’m gonna suggest it. He could be an extreme shopper or something and then eventually get his own show on TLC or something. I can see it happening. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love some hasbrowns... but can we talk about the hot cakes? We need to talk about the hot cakes. I’m hungry just thinking about it. You know what we need right about now? If you guessed all day breakfast... well, you’re absolutely right.

[everettmichael-blog]

Dude, people are crazy.

[sublanderson]

.. Regardless of who’s paying it, I can’t say I’m a huge fan of anything bad happening to you. Especially things like that, thank you very much. We’ll save the extreme shopping for when everything goes on sale next month, all right? That way, we can still get good deals, and we can avoid the masses while doing so. Shopping while remaining in one piece is something I’m a proud supporter of, after all. Speaking of, though – how’s your job going? Do you like it so far? Is the commute to and from the center all right?

I was too busy – you know that. I only had a few days off, so all the time that wasn’t spent eating and talking with Mama and Dad was spent studying. Cooper tried to help, but… I think he’s more a distraction than anything else. I’m on official quarantine for another nine days before I’m finally done and free to enjoy the city in December.

[everettmichael-blog]

I’m starting to think that they do sales every day at this point. I’ve gotten like -- shit, I dunno, about a hundred different emails from that hand soap place, and the electronics store, going on about 35% off sales and 50% off sales every other day. If that’s the case... why waste your time on Black Friday? Shit, man. The world’s a complicated place. Work? Yeah, it’s actually pretty cool. We’ve got a couple of those brick ovens to make the pizzas in and oh man, you can taste the difference. I’m so on board with brick oven pizza now, you have no idea. It’s also still pretty legit that I get to bring stuff home sometimes, but now like... I’m a real adult so I have like healthcare and dental and shit. How crazy is that? They even have childcare benefits and shit if you have kids. I asked about cat benefits but they just looked at me like I was crazy. Meh, shit happens. I’ve only missed the train into the city once so I think I’m off to a good start, yeah? I’ve totally got this adulting thing down. 

Cooper? A distract? Wow, I am literally so shocked. I am so surprised. See, he’s an Anderson... and if you’re not giving him any attention, he’s gonna be like a puppy and flop all over the place. I understand because I do the same thing. Oops. But look on the bright side -- you’re almost done and free. You’re so close! 

[everettmichael-blog]

Dude, people are crazy.

[shimmeringrose-sub-deactivated2]

Unfortunately, it was a hot one. My arms flew in front of my face to shield me and I ended up with burns along my wrists. They definitely got thrown out after that. I iced them and wrapped them with gauze. I’m alright Sir, really. I think it was partially due to the crazy lines but everything happened after he noticed that I was a sub. 

My manager was helping us so she saw the whole thing. I’m fine, just a little disappointed in humanity.

[everettmichael-blog]

Uh... that’s definitely assault. Especially if the coffee burnt you. If you didn’t press charges, you should get the security tape from the ones they’ve probably got in the building and haul their ass over hot coals. Being in a hurry or just being impatient is not excuse for hurting people, y’know? If you let him do it to you, you never know whether or not he’ll do it to someone else. Not cool. 

Wait a sec. Are you saying that he threw coffee at you because you’re a Submissive? Um, what. I didn’t know people were still that goddamn dumb in 2015, y’know? Seriously, you should press charges. I would. I hate bullies. 

[everettmichael-blog]

Dude, people are crazy.

[ffsgriffin-blog]

It’s all good. I’ll still pay full price for some pizza, but maybe not as many as ten. You should totally charge extra for thin crust and shit. Takes extra effort on your part. 

New Yorkers are crazy 365 days year, anyway, add in killer deals on cool ass shit and well, crazy gets more crazy. Cyber Monday is like Black Friday, but for online stores. So you get hella good deals but without having to go out into the fray. 

[everettmichael-blog]

Most places do charge extra for that shit. We don’t do that though ‘cuz they’re already specialty pizzas and homemade and cost a couple extra bucks as opposed to something you’d get from Dominos. Like, don’t get me wrong, I love me some Dominos, but it tastes better when you know it’s coming out of a brick oven from someone you bumped into at the market yesterday, y’know? It’s just better. You know what would be legit though? Pizza punch cards. Like, buy nine pizzas and you get the tenth one free. If I ever have my own restaurant you can bet your ass that that’s something I’m gonna do.

Hah, you’re not wrong about that. It took me a couple weeks to really get used to how loud and busy everything here is. Like, people are fucking insane but you learn to love it? Oh man, Cyber Monday sounds right up my alley. 

[everettmichael-blog]

Dude, people are crazy.

[sublanderson]

As someone who’s been out and about during that madness before, I’m glad to hear you came back relatively unscathed. If all people who liked pizza were as dedicated as you and Miss Noel, then I’d have something to worry about. But, for the most part, people were too busy fighting each other for new Macbook’s, or something like that. The mall is a scary place to be, Ev.

[everettmichael-blog]

You’re the real hero, Bee. I’m sorry, but like... nothing’s gonna make me risk my life just to get a computer for a little less money. It wasn’t so bad back home, y’know, I could roll in at three in the morning and grab my laptop without having to worry about someone’s nails tearing into my arms and going for the jugular. Fuck that noise. I don’t have time. Although, now that I’ve got health benefits and shit through work... man, someone could claw the fuck out of me and the government would pay to stitch me back up. Isn’t that cool? Man, that’s so cool. Being an adult is weird but kind of has its perks.

Did you get any cool swag this year during all that Black Friday madness, or were you too busy hunkering down and getting ready for finals? I always forget that people are doing actual school on top of the stuff we’re doing here and like -- man, kudos to that. I’m barely managing to work all the time and making it to the two whole classes I’m taking. Seriously, Bee. You’re a hero. 

[everettmichael-blog]

Dude, people are crazy.

[thejamesberry-blog]

I’ve never had a job during the dreaded Black Friday and I’ve never actually been Black Friday shopping because I actually value my life more then a discounted coffee maker- or some shit that I don’t need but buy anyway because it has something like 50% off. Bitches be crazy. But hey, glad to see you’re still alive after your shift and haven’t been crushed in people who are mad to get discounted food. 

[everettmichael-blog]

What can I say? People like a good sale. I don’t understand some of the shit that they end up shelling the big bucks for at those Black Friday sales, but I can respect someone who wants to save some money on pizza. I mean, it’s pizza. That’s basically like... an essential to life, y’know? One needs pizza to survive. It’s like the one ring, only better. Not that they needed it to survive but, meh, you get where I’m going with this.

Uh,  thanks for being happy I didn’t get crushed? I guess it would be way weirder if you were like... I dunno, disappointed that I’m still alive and kicking.

[britishbellecrawford]

No, we don’t. That sounds more like our Christmas to me than anything. Those kind of foods are present during a Christmas meal. Still, it must be nice to be able to get together with your family and give thanks.

If you are sure then I would love that Sir. Honestly, there is nothing like home made food and I keep hearing wonderful things about the Anderson get together’s. How could I ever say no.

[everettmichael-blog]

Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners are pretty similar. Sometimes Mama’ll make a ham though for Christmas -- to go with the turkey, obviously -- so we end up having way more food than we can ever eat.... but, y’know, I do my best to pretty much eat everything. I’m pretty sure I gain like 15lbs every holiday. Oops? I’m not even sorry.

You’ve got yourself a deal. I’ll bring ‘em over as soon as I can muster up enough energy to roll on out of bed and down the hall.

[ruinedchildhood]

[everettmichael-blog]

Dude, people are crazy.

[noelhummel]

I don’t have the strength to do that even if I wanted to, so I think the old ladies would be totally safe if I was around. And you make a point – free is the best thing in the world, honestly. Especially when it’s free food. I’m not too well read in the world of like, voodoo and stuff, but I’ll try to make it happen if something goes wrong. But, speaking of Star Wars, we need our tickets. Like, immediately. They’re already selling out all over the place, and I refuse to wait a month to see something I need in my life ASAP.

You’re so cute. I mean, mostly it’s just Kurt, ‘cause he’s the one that cares about clothes and stuff. He’ll get into it with a soccer Mom over a scarf, or a pair of gloves, or a jacket. He’s ruthless. I was usually just along for the ride. I’d go to get McDonald’s breakfast when all was said and done, but I’d sleep in the car while the actual shopping took place. I know my strengths and weaknesses.

[everettmichael-blog]

Hey now, adrenaline can give people the power to do some pretty crazy shit. I wouldn’t count you out, y’know? 50% off mozza sticks and I think you could take even the strongest guy who tried to get in between you and them. I’m jussayin’. Am I wrong? ‘Cuz I don’t think I am. Babe. Baby. Bae. C’mon, did you really think that I was gonna let Star Wars sell out without us getting tickets? Guess who’s seeing it opening  night... and if you didn’t guess us, you’re wrong. I’m also thinking that we need to get matching Star Wars onesies for when we go... that way we look awesome, we’re in costume, and we’re gonna be comfy as shit at the same time. Win, win, win... right?

So if I ever want something on Black Friday, I’m gonna send your brother in after it. He’ll be like... I dunno, our soldier or something when it comes to discount sales and stuff. I mean, I don’t blame you for going for the breakfast. It used to piss me off that I never really got to get it because I wouldn’t drag ass out of bed before 11 when they stopped serving it. All-day breakfast is pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me. No lie.