one day i'd like to meet your mouth @eversncenewyork - Tumblr Blog

i just want to collect these somewhere tbh and this seems like a good a place as any

(nsfw text under the cut)

a new baddie has entered the villa

#i believe i mentioned that a guy i met at our mutual friend’s bday party asked me out #we had our second date last night so of course we boinked #i’ve never made it to the third date LMAO #oh well i’m a floozy what can i say #it was fun!! can’t say it was like life changing sex or anything but it was a nice date and he was very very very affectionate #once upon a time that level of affection would’ve induced an instant crush #but men have beaten that out of me so i’m not putting too much stock into it #and my friend said that he (let’s call him J) has been in a slut phase and he knows i’m stocked up on whores #(2 is plenty)#so in a few dates if i’m still liking him whatever ill reiterate what im looking for and assess the response #oh he is also the 3rd or 4th man in a row to think i am the supreme ruler of giving head like they all think im the best in the world at it #and they weren’t always saying that to me so idk what i’m doing different but apparently it’s working #too well tbh he could only do like 90 seconds last night lmaooooo but then he lasted a while during sex so that was good #but it’s great because i am fundamentally against the concept of deepthroating so im glad they aren’t even missing it!

🤩🤩🤩🤩

#the medical marvel is back in nyc for the weekend and i have an empty apartment <3 #AND idk if ive mentioned but i think pointy canine teeth are so hot like naturally but also a tasteful costume fang #and he posted on his close friends story that he’s getting gold grills with pointy canines 😭😭😭😭#it feels like christmas oh my god i’m gonna be so abnormal about it #like michael b jordan with the grill fangs was HUGE for me and now 😭😭😭😭😭 i get to experience 😭😭😭😭😭😭#he’s hopefully coming over tomorrow afternoon…..going down on me in da sunlight………..fangs…glinting……………#something is awakening in me

aghhhhhhgagahahahahahgggggg

#the universe is basically yelling at me to stfu #i’m always in my therapists office like wah wah wah im not attractive in real life i can only get dates on apps wah wah wah #no one buys me drinks no one talks to me in bars wah wah wah #and then a couple weeks ago i get somewhat sexually harrassed in a bar & then another guy DMs me #and i’m like wah wah wah it doesn’t count if it was harassment and the guy in my DMs doesn’t count for nebulous reasons wah wah wah #and so then this weekend was my friend’s bday party and one of his friends asked if i was single as soon as i left apparently #and has now DMd me asking me out #and for some reason this counts? bc he is demonstrably capable of meaningful friendship with someone i love & is not unnatractivr #tho he’s not my type #but so basically the universe is like GIRL OH MY GODDDDDD YOUR MISERY IS OF YOUR OWN MAKKNG!!!!!! STOP BLAMING ME HERE DAMN HAVE THIS GUY!!!#anyway i said yes but that’s all i know so far but this will be my first date with someone i met IRL #and i will be shitting my pants

once again sl*tting it up

#wish i knew how to go on dates without getting penis involved oh well #i went on a first date yesterday and it was really nice and we spent like 9 hours together which is crazy #but he reminds me so much of T it’s actually uncanny #they are very similar visually and the way they talk and the things they like #but this guy has more joie de vivre #but a lot of the incompatibilities i had with T are present in new guy (he doesn’t get a name yet) so im like #i already learned those lsssons didn’t i?#anyway for the part you’re here for #we left the park at like 9 and went to his place of work so he could charge his phone #he’s a fitness instructor (hoo boy does it show)#and so we’re in the gym after dark making out in a corner but he was nervous about the cameras #and i was like ‘there usually aren’t cameras in bathrooms’#so anyway i ended up giving him head in the bathroom of his closed down workplace #i wish it was more exciting to me like even a year ago i think i would’ve found that rly erotic and exciting #and now i’m just like ugh yeah another day another dick sucked #i need to figure out how to do it only when it’s bc i like them and not to get them to like me #more stellar reviews tho yayyy

😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖

#so a few months ago through routine stalking i discovered T moved to LA and i breathed a sigh of relief #but last night one of my best friends found him on Feeld and his bio is fully geared toward new yorkers #i’m gonna kill myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m gonna!!!!!!!!! just for a second but i’m gonna!!!!!!!!!!!!!#at least he’s single thank fuck #but he has ‘aftercare’ in his desires #SUCK MY DICCCKCKKKKKKKKKKKK FUCK YOYYYYYYYUYUUUUUU OH MY GODDDDDDDDD #so anyway i added a semi nude to my pics #alexa play Silver Springs #i want to see if we match so bad and if we don’t then no harm no foul but if we do………..my god……..#my friends would genuinely riot #there would be torches and pitchforks in the streets FOR ME #thank god i have a lifelong STI now because that will be the final failsafe if we were to ever talk #i cannot be like ‘hey since you left me i have yet to be properly loved but you know what i do have? h*****! :)’#hnnmmgggggggggggg and it’s been almost a year since our last email exchange and he thinks i hate him even tho i very explicitly said i didnt #but i’ve been waiting 358 days for the desire to correct him to go away and it hasn’t #it scratches at me every day

Ring size is 11 <3 I’ve got big hands for a dyke, comparing hand sizes is a practically a pickup line I use

wowwww bringing a whole new meaning to size queen

followed back in the 1d days, stayed for the sexcapades 🤓

damn i gotta start monetizing the sexcapades!! third party prostitution!!!! i jest

#anonymous #ask #anon #genuinely someday i’ll fictionalize these experiences into a novel but first i need to find the moral of the story #someone tell me there is a moral please i beg

well

#since i have just received encouragement re: sexcapades here are the recent haps #i saw the medical marvel earlier this week and i politely request that when he cums he not drool on my bed or pillow #he did his best #genuinely the boning is so good until the final moment when it is horrifying and also so funny #he also seeeeeriously almost made me cum from head like it is going to happen soon #otherwise we have a new member joining the party and his name also starts with an R #so henceforth the medical marvel will always be refered to as such and our new R gets to be R #we are going on our 3rd date tonight actually #the 1st date was really excellent like i genuinely enjoyed talking to him and not just because i like to talk and i like me #he’s great with questions and thinks i’m soooo funny which is correct but not enough men are telling me that #(they don’t realize i’m funny on purpose)#and then we made out against the wall of my apartment building and he picked me right up off the ground #it was fun until someone walked by and then i felt embarrassed #it was a tuesday ya know? we don’t need to be making out against a wall publicly on a tuesday evening #the second date was also fun but incompatibilities were revealed that spell trouble #FIRST AND FOREMOST HE DOESNT LIKE ICE CREAM #OR DESSERT IN GENERAL #WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEE #I DESERVE A SUMMER BEACH DAY FOLLOWED BY ICE CREAM FOLLOWED BY SEX FOLLOWED BY A NAP #also important: he doesn’t read and i’m literally writing a novel #like it’s just important to me to be able to share the stories that are important to me or that i think my partner would like #he also is a partier and i am not #the sex was fine idk we’ll see he couldn’t keep it up w a condom on which is annoying #and after the first date his favorite thing about me was that i’m funny #but i fear after the second date his favorite thing about me was how i give head #i have been getting rave reviews lately which is like nice i like to be good at things #but i don’t want that to be their motivation in seeing me or sleeping with me #tonight we’re seeing a movie and i am in rare form and Not Horny so we’ll see

im genuinely not 100% sure but i think someone i followed reblogged a post of yours that was a screenshot of someone's necklace captioned as "delicate pov" and i thought that was funny and accurate so i got on your profile to see if you had more of the sorts and i was suddenly flashbanged with ur sexscapades at the time with i think T and company and i was like oh yeah this is my shit

okay for one your memory is great i just searched delicate on my blog and lo and behold it’s harry styles in a pearl necklace (a literal one get ur head outta da gutter)

for two: LMAOOO “flashbanged” and “T and company” is taking me out. you know if nothing else he gave me a good story (and chronic BV 🩷)

#anonymous #anon #ask

Girl I think I followed you genuinely close to 10 years ago as a thirst follow and got attached to your shenanigans

A THIRST FOLLOW wow hey unrelated what’s your ring size?

#anon #anonymous #ask

musermatt

Anonymously or not tell me why you follow me.

#honestly yeah

harry styles licked a microphone from base to tip and i have been reactivated like a sleeper agent

got broken up with for being a swiftie

#womp womp #broken up with is a strong term it was literally one date #and there were other reasons i’m just being dramatic #the thing is i’m a reasonable swiftie i actually hate that she’s a vindictive billionaire with a victim complex very much #but she frequently speaks to my soul and i love her writing #but men act like liking her makes me the dumbest girl on earth even when i have demonstrated how laughably false that is #like sorry The Smiths sound ugly! i don’t want to listen to things that sound ugly!#i don’t like black coffee because it fucking tastes bad!#i don’t like running because it feels bad!#why why why do we have to hear ugly sounds and taste bitter tastes to be considered sophisticated or cool?? it’s so so so bizarre #anyway i’m tired of this grandpa where the FUCK is someone who will love me #OH AND THEN AFTER TELLING ME THAT HE OFFERED CASUAL SEX EVEN THO I SAID I DONT WANT MORE OF THAT #OH SO YOY DONT RESPECT ME AS A PERSON BUT YOU CAN FUCK ME #OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD OH MY GOD! oh my god!!!!!!

hm hm hm

#going on a first date tonight and i actually have a good feeling abt this one #but i’ve had that before so idk we’ll see #in other news a few weeks ago i un-ended it with R i realized i was taking out my frustration with men and misogyny on him #but we’re just casual which is perfect #and actually his new nickname is The Medical Marvel bc of how he cums

what would u consider a low body count and does it affect how u see the person

hmm interesting question!! i only rly have enough data on cis straight/bi men and cis straight/bi women so that is who i shall be speaking on. and disclaimer, none of these are objective statements and i reserve the right to change my mind etc etc i am speaking on what i Feel Currently based on My Experience and i don’t believe anyone Should be judged for any kind of body count

it’s def different for men & women, like women i think anything like 5 and under is low, but it doesn’t affect how i see the person. honestly if anything it makes me a little jealous because it usually means they’ve been in long term relationships

with men, my data is certainly skewed because idk if it’s just my type or if there is a manwhore epidemic in new york (probably both) but i think under 20 or so is low for men. frankly, if i find out before we sleep together, i would probably worry a little that it wasn’t going to be very good. but then if it’s good & he’s hot, i am very likely to believe he’s a saint among men lmao. and similarly, if it’s low, i’m probably going to be more romantically excited about him because it indicates that he might be more of a relationship person

i have had sex w men who were close to or had triple digit body counts. in the past, it was baffling, but would then be exciting to me when they chose to keep sleeping w me because it made me feel like i must be good at it. now tho i am very much in my misandry era (trying to get out, it is too painful to hate men when i also want them so badly) and finding out someone is in the triple digits would make me hate him a little bit. ESPECIALLY if he’s completely straight. but like i know the gays are doing a lot and i dont resent them that so much, so with my collection of bisexual men i give them more leniency

jury is out on lesbians i didn’t get the body counts of the 2 lesbians i slept with but frankly i don’t think i’d feel judgmental either way unless again it was outrageously high (triple digits. like what are you doing, digging for gold??)

#anonymous #anon #ask

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one day i'd like to meet your mouth