Every Parks & Rec Quote

Rewatching every single Parks & Rec episode, live blogging along the way.

[buzzfeedcomics]

[everyparksandrecquote]

Look, nursing is easy. You just go to work, people come in, and you heal them.

Leslie

[everyparksandrecquote]

This is my evening. I am Leslie's trophy wife.

Ann

[everyparksandrecquote]

I'll make her feel like a human dinner roll.

Leslie

[everyparksandrecquote]

[everyparksandrecquote]

I like your hairdo, Leslie. It's just like my brothers, he's an officer in the air force.

Ron

[everyparksandrecquote]

I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel-toed boot.

Ron

[everyparksandrecquote]

I just wanted to tell you that I think what you two are doing is so brave.

Just being who you are. I wish I had your courage. 

[everyparksandrecquote]

Oh man.

I am way overdressed. 

[everyparksandrecquote]

[everyparksandrecquote]

Well, what do you want me to do with this?

I just wanted to mix things up a bit. You know, pin it up. Something sassy, but powerful and dynastic.

[everyparksandrecquote]

Leslie: It was a great learning experience because my mom cast a long shadow.

Leslie: Read that part back to me.

Tom: I was learning disabled and my mom cast a very long shadow.

Leslie: No, I didn't say learning disabled.

[everyparksandrecquote]

They cut his face off and made it into a dream catcher. And they made his legs into rain sticks. And that’s the great thing about indians back then, is that they used every part of the pioneer.

Leslie

[everyparksandrecquote]

Somebody is getting gently laid tonight.

[everyparksandrecquote]

My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk.

Ron

[everyparksandrecquote]

I can't really get into a shower, so I got this idea from my parents. This is how they clean their dog.

[everyparksandrecquote]

Do you want me to run some questions with you?

Tom: Mrs. Knope, you're accused of stealing wine. How many drinks do you have on average?

Tom: Do you ever cheat on your taxes?

Tom: How many sexual partners have you had in the past year?

Tom: Have you ever thought about Ron sexually?

Tom: Including dreams. Have you ever had a sexual dream about our boss Ron Swanson?