[snugglebearinc]

[naamahdarling]

I’m losing my fucking mind.

[kittykat8311]

oh my god

[cryptid-sighting]

my favorite part is that the guys just go along with it in spite of confusion/misgivings because they don’t want to miss out on stickers.

[signherepleased]

My favorite post

[ark-harpy]

we found the cure to all mental illness but the main side effect is that he knows your name now

[wolfchildrenn]

*makes this noise at you*

[furbearingbrick]

it’s a ptenopus garrulus, aka Common Barking Gecko, which lives in Africa! The video doesn’t show it well, but they have goofy froglike faces!

by sheer coincidence, there’s a completely different kind of gecko endemic to Australia (underwoodisaurus/nephrurus milii ) which is also called the Common Barking Gecko:

[mckitterick]

(cute art courtesy @prguitarman )

[b0chelly]

Omega mart in Las Vegas felt like being on tumblr in least nightmarish way possible , it was beautiful and I highly recommend going.

[penny-anna]

Geralt meets Jaskier and is like *sniff sniff* ‘yeah this guy’s part elf, I’m not going to comment on this because it’s a very personal thing to bring up in mixed company and also none of my business’ & never once questions that Jaskier knows this bcos like, that’s the kind of thing people know about themselves, right? and it’s a touchy sort of subject so it’s understandable that Jaskier doesn’t really talk about it, w/e

& then years later Yennefer comments on how improbably youthful Jaskier is and Geralt’s like ‘yeah he’s part elf’ (cause like, we’re all ambiguously-human friends here, nbd)

but Jaskier is like ‘what the fuck? are you talking about?? no I’m not???’ and Geralt is like ‘…..fuck.’

[penny-anna]

Geralt: never mind

Jaskier: no, what are you talking about? what made you think that??

Geralt: I thought you knew.

Jaskier: what do you mean, you thought I knew??

Jaskier: listen, I know the names of all my family going back to my great-great-great-great grandparents, and none of them were elves? 

Geralt: ….well. one of them’s lying.

Jaskier: I don’t like what you’re implying

Geralt: I’m not implying anything

Jaskier: yes, you are? you’re implying that one of my ancestors committed adultery with an elf? which is patently absurd?

Geralt: are you on speaking terms with your parents at the moment

Jaskier: what does that have to do with anything

Geralt: it’s just I don’t know if you should hear this from me

Jaskier: well, I AM hearing it from you, aren’t I????

Geralt: I shouldn’t have brought it up. I thought you knew.

Jaskier: where are you even getting this from? oh, what can you just, sense that somebody’s part elf with your magic witcher powers?

Geralt: …………….

Jaskier: ………………………… *entire sense of identity crumbling* fuck

[hellenhighwater]

Jasker: do you have ANY IDEA how much money I have spent on skin care products over the years???? FOR NO REASON, APPARENTLY???

[queerticulate]

I just love the idea of jaskier later finding out that his grandmother was just as much of a slut and he is and she had a string of lovers and nobody really knew who fathered her children so for convenience sake they were all just ascribed to jaskier’s grandfather and considered legitimate

[penny-anna]

Jaskier: so I found out why nobody told me I’m part elf

Yennefer: oh?

Jaskier: it turns out my grandmother fucked so many people that the paternity of all of her children is up for debate

Jaskier: so they just sort of had to guess which of them were the half elves and in my mother’s case, they were wrong.

Yennefer: that’s hilarious

Geralt: I’m starting to see where you get it from

Jaskier: quite

Jaskier: anyway my mother says please will you come and smell everyone else on her side of the family just in case

Geralt: …hm

[heroofthreefaces]

he’s a mercenary innee

how much is she offering

[dechart]

this is GOLD

[ohblessit]

toss a coin to your ancestry.com witcher

[hamelin-born]

And of course Jaskier’s mother pays him in embarrassing baby stories about her son. 

[dechart]

I agree with past!me, this is gold.

[mercmicki]

His mother is like “and this was him as a baby” while everyone else is laughing and Jaskier is dying on the inside.

[adeles]

#everyday mood

[thanatos-moon]

This chair is for the Gays only and yall know it

[mikachu1122]

I NEED THIS IMMEDIATELY

[postmodernismruinedme]

I truly appreciate all the folks in the tags with Autism and/or ADHD just freaking out in delight that this even exists.

[stargazing-enby]

I want ten.

[everwizard]

It’s $875

[sexycraisinthanos]

Homophobia and ableism strikes again

[eric-coldfire]

Or you could sit in a real chair like human beings.

[systlin]

Homophobia and ableism strikes again. 

[itmustbegreattobecalledtheitgir]

YES HELLO THIS IS A THING WATCH IT PLZ

[psych2gotalk]

8 Things You Unconsciously Do When Depressed 

[rambler-of-procrastination]

8/8 

[hi-i-am-a-bibliophile]

I also scored 8/8

[0lympians]

i got 7/8

[fleshblueberry-deactivated20250]

8/8

[hiperfixatedandtiredandcrazy]

7/8

[kivimaxtv]

6/8 or 8/8

I’m not really sure

[thots4thot]

7/8

[leo-is-livid]

7/8 babeyyy

[cockslutpadalecki]

“it is amazing how many people view direct communication as an attack.”

[adonischildsupportcase]

[virtualways]

[odin-n-out]

Decadent

[as-warm-as-choco]

i rediscovered the purpose of this site

[apocahipster]

me and my friend jessie are physically incapable of having a normal fucking conversation so things happen where we accidently end up rping a dude bro trying to hit on me, an ordinary woman who is not a snake

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-

-

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[softblockwashere-deactivated202]

[mockiatoh]

I’m so glad SOMEBODY gets it

[smolpocketmonstercoffee]

I tell people in my life frequently that I'd just like to pull my brain out and stick it in a vat of nutrients for about a week before putting it back in

[remorseless-winter-babie]

[batsandboba]

nothing compares to the calendar on this site. flat fuck friday. the halloween post that always shows up mid july. you see four anime girls and immediately know what day of the week it is. on the ides of march we all wake up and clown on some guy who got stabbed two thousand years ago. last week we celebrated down with cis day. I can’t wait for ever given and nov 5th anniversary memes. anyways have a lovely neil banging out the tunes day

[ms-demeanor]

I was talking about a quilt piece I’d made that has sort of a squished shark on it and I was like “this is for sure a candidate for flat fuck friday” and the people I was talking to gave me a WEIRD look and I had to be like... “Does? Twitter not do flat fuck friday? What about out of touch thursday? REALLY? How do you know what day it is? Is it wednesday my dudes?????”

[boxofpigeons]

[screamingay]

these seem to be the most widely accepted weekly holidays <3

[wrenchswango]

floppa friday erasure

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

God damn it I'm gonna have to watch the lil nas x video aren't i

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

ahaha this is fantastic

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

Quite mild by some standards really

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

THAT'S EHAT EVERYONE WAS MAD ABOUT?

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

On the whole a solid 9.9/10, docked 0.1 points cuz the devil already looked dead during that lap dance anyway

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

I have been informed that the devil was a mannequin due to covid 19 safety precautions, gonna have to bump it up to a 10/10