Hammy

Hi, my name is Hammy! I'm a German girl trying to travel the world. I'm a: Castle Fangirl Stanatic Hufflepuff Nerdfighter & Soldier of Love.

[loverofcastle]

(x)

[shelienead]

About Castle guest stars from Canada and her playful personality. 🙂

[stanacatic]

“It’s such a unique pleasure to sit here and listen to everyone kind of chatting in Italian and trying to work out the shots and everybody is really adamant that it has to be as good as they can possibly make it. Everyone’s got an opinion from you know, from the gaffer to the grip to the DP of course. It’s very Italian in that way, you know. It’s a community thing, so I’m enjoying it. I’m enjoying kind of hanging out and just savoring the wonderful gift that it is to be a part of this.” | Stana Katic behind the scenes of “Lost in Florence” (x)

[stanakaticdaily]

drstanakatic: I missed my #DireWolf so a new friend brought two of his over for a hang.  drstanakatic: Love fest. #CanisLupus #BrotherWolf

[breathlifein]

drstanakatic: “Breakfast with my buddy Patrick McAuley… 🍳🥓🥚🍽 Look out, world, my co-⭐️ is something special. 😘 “(x) 

[pikagif]

[loismagic]

drstanakatic: Called in the glitter patrol & got my nails all shwankstered up. #IWelcomeTheWeekend !! ✨💋✨

[katebeckett]

drstanakatic: Prep for the project got me like:

#ActorsLife🎬

[pikagif]

[adeles]

drstanakatic: Yesterday was a befuddling day. It befuddled me. Voilà, my look of befuddlement: (Footnote- #BefuddleIsNotUsedNearlyEnoughInTheEnglishLanguage)

[stanakaticdaily]

drstanakatic “There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.” - Alfred Hitchcock

[stanakaticcro]

drstanakatic: Chillin’ behind the camera.                        Say “Cheese.” 😁.

[brstanakatic]

“@drstanakatic: #InASeaOfScripts Weekends with friends.”

[stanacatic]

theneiljackson: I always wanted a sister. And this one’s real special… @Stana_Katic #TVFamily #absentia

[stanacatic]

2016 → “In the end, what we humans share on this globe is much stronger than those things that set us apart.” | Stana Katic 

[prosemeds]

3 word prompt #2: A hug means...

A hug means…

(Sucker Punch Insert)

Numb.

Achingly numb.

The water should burn her skin as her fingers scratch at the blood that gloves her hands. She’s however, unfazed, mechanical in washing them clean.

You let her down.

She scrubs harder.

Stomach hollowing out inside, the scene replays over and over in her head without relief. The shot she’d taken a mere few minutes ago has left nerves in riots with the tactile memory of her gun and how it had jerked in her grip.

Now the beat of her pulse pounds violently under the surface, trying to drown out the gunshot but she relives that split second decision unblinking, unaware of her surroundings now. All she sees is Coonan’s gun training onto Castle and the feels the reflex that pulled back her trigger.

You did what you had to do.

Much worse could’ve happened.

It’s the daze of this reverie that prevents her from hearing the swing of the door. Certain it’s him she doesn’t even bother to look, concentrating on the flowing water instead but he shuts off the faucet to stop her.

“Is the adrenaline rush of nearly dying inhibiting you from finding the right restroom, Castle?” she tries with a smirk, but it’s dull under the clog of her stuffed nose.

Instead of answering he grabs the cheap, crisp napkin she rips from the roll beside her and cradles her hands that now glow red, dabbing them dry without meeting her gaze yet. He just focuses.

“I’m fine,” she mutters with a broken tone. A wane, faltering, airy lyric that trembles through her breath. She hears him internalize a scoff that he muffles into a hum, unconvinced.

Crushing the damp paper into a ball and tossing it across the room towards the trash can, he finally fixes his gaze on her. It’s not one she’s accustomed to – maybe one he himself isn’t used to giving. The creases on his forehead resemble concern, and the stare he gives sucks in her attention, the look terribly tender. The foreign nature of it startles her and she resolves by facing away a moment later.

A bitter smirk lines her lips, swiftly returning to a frown before she speaks. “I should’ve known this would happen,” she muses, crossing one arm across her chest while the other reaches her hand up to comb through the chestnut locks and tame them. “I had him. I had him and then I lost him.”

“It’s not your fault.” It’s mine she hears dangling after the words he could speak..

“No, I…I need to work things out, to figure–”

“A-huh, I know – come here.”

It’s seemingly a request, but his arms curl around her in an embrace before she can shy away.

“What are you doin?” she asks as her hands fall to her sides, suspending as they struggle to figure out their placement.

“It’s a hug. A hug means…I’m here.”

Her hands want to push back in protest, and they do manage to lift up at her side ready to pry him away, but the hook of one arm around her neck eases her face to meet the refuge of his shoulder and the safety of his other arm bands around her back to keep her as close as she can be, the comfort and security destroying her guard. Her fingers slide up on his shirt and cling, clutching the fabric near his collar as she crumbles.

“You found him,” he says low, trying to convince her otherwise of the wrong she thinks she’s done. “Now you know.”

Both her legs falter in their stance but he steadies their bodies, allowing her to sob in silence and try to shake away her grief. She pours it out into him and he just rocks her, slightly swaying side to side as every curve meets in a kiss.

She breathes him in as she rests on his chest, fighting to calm herself. Her misery resists though, tearing apart her body that falls limp against him…but he doesn’t let go. He holds her tighter even, and as the moments pass she’s sure he won’t be the first to stop this.

She doesn’t stay as long as she wants, but it’s long enough to hear his heart and what kindness it has to say…what promises it pledges.

You’re not alone. I’m here for you. I care.

When she pulls from him her brows furrow knowing she has to leave this, a thousand words causing traffic in her head. There’s so many things to say.

“Thanks for…being there.”

Her eyes lift to his and catch some kind of uncertainty, but she dismisses it as she goes to walk out –

soothing the burn she’s able to feel now in her hands.

She feels it now.

[katiehoughton]

Fic prompt from the list you posted: #19: "Come home with me."

“Come home with me.”

The food is good - Castle seems to know all of the best places to get takeout in the city - but even so, she doesn’t manage much of it. Can’t stop thinking about it; the blood cracking along the lifelines in her palms, clogging underneath her fingernails. It took a lifetime for the water to run clear, and she keeps hearing the last gurgling breaths of the dying man.

Beckett doesn’t regret it, could never regret saving her shadow’s life, but she feels the sharp tug of the rabbit hole low down in her belly. Coonan had something, all of the information that has kept her awake at night for ten years, and the loss of that is devastating.

“Beckett…you okay?” He says, tugging her up out of her musing. Ever since he dragged her to the bathroom and helped her clean up, he’s been so terribly careful with her. She hates it.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” He shoots back, but the flare of irritation is exactly what she’s been looking for. She doesn’t want him stepping softly around her feelings. That’s not him. “Talk to me.”

“No.” She growls, suddenly ferocious. More than anything, she wants to curl up and lick her wounds in private. Not let anyone see the festering rawness. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” He placates, lifting his hands and leaning back in his chair. “That’s fine, but…come home with me.”

It surprises her so much that for a moment is wiped out into total, blissful blankness and all she can do is stare at him. Her tongue works against her teeth, throat constricting, and she manages to scrape herself together. “What?”

“You don’t have to talk about it, that’s okay. We can watch a movie or you can take a bath or read a book. But I’m not leaving you alone.”

“You don’t get a say in this, Castle.” She spits. Even though not ten minutes ago she was telling him that she likes having him around, that he brings some much needed fun into her life, rage crawls up the footholds of her spine as it always does when he tries to tell her what to do.

For once though, he doesn’t shy away from her. Showing him the black ache of her heart was clearly a mistake, because now he’s not afraid of her anymore. “The hell I don’t. I care about you, Kate.”

Yeah. She knows. Knew long before he dropped a hundred thousand dollars like pocket change for a cause that shouldn’t even mean anything to him.

“I want to go home.”

“Come to my home.” He says softly, reaching for her from across the desk. He claims one of her hands in both of his own, dwarfing her. “My mother and daughter are both still worried about you. And I won’t be able to sleep unless I know for sure that you’re okay.”

Oh, god. What is she doing?

How did she let it get this far.

“Castle, I-”

“Kate. Please. Take my guest room for the night. Don’t be alone with this when you don’t have to be.” He looks exhausted suddenly, more than he has in the entire time she’s known him, and her foolish heart rolls over in anguish for him.

There’s a reason she doesn’t let people in. Her hurt is supposed to be her own to bear. She won’t be the rotten apple in the bowl that brings with it all of the other fruits. “I don’t want to sour the mood.”

“You won’t.” His thumb circles the skin at the back of her hand, and she wants so much more. Wants a hug, really. “Let me be there for you.”

“Okay.” She nods, chewing on her bottom lip. It’s taken a lot of abuse from her over the course of this case and the hot flood of iron immediately blooms in her mouth. “I’ll come home with you. But Castle? I can’t promise any more than that.”

“I don’t need more.” He says quietly, averting his eyes. And that’s new, too. Like she said, she’s gotten used to his teasing. The longing that charges their every interaction. It’s unsettling to see him so serious now. “As long as you’re okay.”

“I am.” She manages a smile for him, another one, and the truth of the words fills her with a clean and lovely light. It’s true. Because this time, Kate has something she hasn’t ever had before.

Someone to stand at the rim of the rabbit hole with her and tether her to him.