And she will sing... @everythingwillburn99 - Tumblr Blog

If Batman and Spider-Man switched rogues galleries none of their villains would last more than ten minutes against the new enemy

galahadwilder

Batman takes down all of Spider-Man’s villains with ruthless efficiency and preparation

Batman’s villains are all like “TAKE ME SERIOUSLY DAMMIT” and Spider-Man is like “No 😜”

azuzulira

The Joker would have an intense hatred for Spider-Man because Spider-Man is actually funny

galahadwilder

That was the exact thought process behind this post

imeverywoman420

Things people who only like weird bad modern art say. This is about thomas kinkade btw. Modern art consoomer types HATE him with vitriol

These are his paintings. Absolutely beautiful and stunning. These people think its Low Brow.

Just bc u have a degree does not mean u know art… if all art school taught u was that a rothko is somehow more artistically valid than any of these beautiful paintings….. you would easily join scientology.

earlgraytay

okay so I had a whole longpost written out about this and I'm not going to rewrite it but uh tldr: you're missing context

Thomas Kinkade was basically the lovechild of a Marvel CEO and Tumblr's version of Anish Kapoor. he trademarked his own goddamn name and the phrase "painter of light", made prints in assembly line fashion, and hard-sold his art in mall storefronts and on tv shopping channels. he exploited his workers and his franchisees, and used Christianity to do it. for gods' sakes, the man did a line of licensed disney paintings.

just about any working artist today has more to say than thomas kinkade, because they're making art to say something, not just to make money. your random furry mutual-in-law is a better artist than thomas kinkade, because your random furry mutual-in-law has something they want to express. even if it's just "i really heckin' love dog people"- that's still more personal and from the heart than this shit.

thomas kinkade's the poster child for everything that's wrong with how american culture treats art, and whether or not his work is beautiful or technically skilled is beside the point.

derinthescarletpescatarian

So you’re saying he’s the MCU of painters?

madenthusiasms

Kinkade’s images are pleasant, and nobody can determine what is or is not “Art.” Sometimes what Art says is “I have a commission and bills to pay.”

That said, two things piss me off mightily about Kinkade:

1) He treated his art like nfts before nfts were a thing. He’d run off a gazillion prints, have some wage serf put a single dot of paint in a different place (or a different color) on each, and hike the price because each one was now Unique Collectable Investment Art instead of print 4000 of 10,000.

2) The Painter of Light bullshit was a direct and calculated insult to Maxfield Parrish. I have seen Parrish’s art with my own eyes and it glows. It’s lit from within.

Look

This

Kincade got jealous, added a bunch of lit windows, and bullshit himself into trademarking a title that had belonged to an earlier painter.

tendermiasma

for fellow austins and the rest of texas

fuck ERCOT

Don’t use a gas oven to heat your home or run your car in the garage

Carbon monoxide kills you so quick. Please all do not do this.

Drip both hot and cold on all faucets + open the cupboards that house the pipes because if you don’t your pipes will burst and you’ll have massive flooding.

tendermiasma

I’m bringing this around again because it’s getting cold in some places and I’ve been getting things to prepare for if we get another freeze in a few months. Since then, the official death toll of the freeze sits at 210, while Buzzfeed reported in May that the true count is likely much higher— around 700. It also caused one of the worst mass carbon monoxide poisonings in recent US history.

I have very little faith that Governor Abbott has done “all that needs to be done” to protect the grid and it’s weighing on me as we get closer to winter.

kooltatkat

This happened on Oct. 5 and not one major news source covered it. This is the end goal of the anti-choice movement.

wanderingnelipot

On Tuesday, October 5, Brittney Poolaw, a 20-year-old Oklahoma woman, was convicted of manslaughter in the first degree for experiencing a m

hellenhighwater

When I was a kid, my mom was a judge and my dad was starting his solo practice, and they both worked full time. There were four of us kids between the ages of one and seven (the Just Us League) and no decent daycares nearby, so they hired a nanny. She had three almost-adult children, and on days when she couldn’t work, one of her kids would substitute. The oldest kid was named Bob, age 18, and he had just finished army basic training when this all went down. Bob did not have the good sense god gave a rock.

I have an older brother, Jake, who was seven; then me, Hellen, age five, then Seth, age three, and my little sister Gin would have been one. It was late August, and we were at our nanny’s house, though she was gone for the day. Bob was in charge.

Bob should probably not have been in charge.

Bob tried keeping us entertained with board games and tag and movies. Gin took a nap. Eventually he decided to get creative, and sat us down in the living room with a game and vanished into the garage. There was a smashing sound. And then some saw noises. And then some hammering. And then we saw him going around the house to the back yard through the windows, though we were too short to see what he was doing. And finally, he yelled to us to come out into the driveway.

Jake and Seth and I trooped out. Bob had both hands behind his back. He stepped up to Jake and revealed what he had in his right hand.

It was a wooden sword. It was clearly made from what appeared to be parts of a chair’s legs, cut down and nailed together. He presented this, and announced, “You are Sir Jake, the strongest knight!”

He stepped up to Seth and presented what was in his left hand. It was another wooden sword, smaller than the first, also crudely made out of chair legs. He announced, “You are Sir Seth, the bravest knight!”

At this point, I was practically vibrating in place, waiting eagerly for my sword so I could use it to whale on my brothers, as god intended me to do. I was therefore understandably disappointed to be presented with the business end of a garden hose and told, “You are Miss Hellen, the Water Fairy!”

“No,” I said. “I want a sword.”

Bob was confused. “But you get water magic! Magic’s great!”

“No.” I repeated, holding the hose. It had a spray nozzle set to jet. “I want a sword.”

“Magic’s great. Magic’s better than a sword.” Bob insisted. “You’ll see. Wait here a moment.”

And then Bob ran around the side of house and vanished.

We stood in the driveway. Jake and Seth poked each other with their swords. I spritzed them idly with the hose, trying to decide which of them would be easier to steal a sword from.

And then we heard a quiet wooshing noise, and smelled smoke.

We turned. As we watched, a line of fire rushed around the corner of the house, consuming a path of gasoline poured into the dry August grass.

We paused and considered this for a few moments. I raised the hose and sprayed a jet of water at the fire. It went out. We glanced at each other. Then we took off running, following the trail of fire, spraying as we went.

The fire led in a path around the house to the back yard. As we turned the corner, we saw Bob, clad in a bathrobe and holding a curtain rod, standing in the center of a large ring of burning grass. He cackled manically. “I am the FIRE WIZARD! Your puny swords are useless! Nothing but water magic can defeat me!”

I promptly blasted him with the hose. He spluttered. The fire did not go out.

I turned the hose on the fire itself, spraying a section close to us so that it would extinguish. As soon as there was enough room, Jake charged forward, brandishing his chair leg sword with a battle cry. Seth, always happy to be included, followed. They ran into the circle and began beating Bob around the kneecaps with their swords. I kept spraying.

Eventually, Bob the Fire Wizard was brought down and all the fire was extinguished. Seth and Jake continued to work on bruising Bob’s shins, and I quickly discarded the hose to lend my fists and extremely pointy elbows to the cause. Bob lay in the smoldering grass, probably regretting using such sturdy chair legs.

Once we’d all tired ourselves out and lay panting in a heap, Bob decided it was time for the moral of the story. “You see, a sword is nothing compared to the power of a little girl with **magic**.”

We thought about this for a few moments. Bob nodded wisely. Jake and Seth nodded back.

“I still want a sword.” I said.

hellenhighwater

there’s a lot of people in the tags and replies expressing several concerns, which I will address:

“Where was Gin?” She was sleeping in a crib on the sunporch. We did this a lot–played outside while she napped–because we could hear her if she woke up and started crying, but were less likely to wake her up. She slept through the whole thing and was totally fine.

“You can’t put out a gasoline fire with water.” At the time, my little kid brain assumed that any flammable liquid was gas, but in retrospect it could have been almost anything. It very well may have been something other than gasoline. All I know is I could extinguish it with a garden hose.

“What did your parents say?” A lot of swear words at a very high volume.

“Did you get a sword?” Yes. Lots. Here are a couple of them, and also my pet ringneck dove, Arson. You can see how this all may have had some lasting effect on me.

messruksi

Is that a real bird?? :0

hellenhighwater

Yes, she’s real. This is Arson, her mate, Larceny, and their idiot children, Forgery and Fraud.

Arson lives her life constantly wishing she had opposable thumbs so she could light fires.

charleewritesabook

What a ride

draskireis

The absolute mania of naming your pets after felonies.

hellenhighwater

thrilled to report that that was also me

beckiboos

At least you’re consistent

soft-stims

Kitten stimboard for anon

x x x - x x x - x x x

boyworstie

don’t try to sleep through the end of the world and bury me alive, ‘cause i won’t give up without a fight

⋙ for @rambleoncas‘s creator celebration, theme: fall

dankmemeuniversity

a-bitchtm

theoneandonlyredrobin

Both are true

chu-art-and-memes-blog-is-broke

bisexualwario

colorblind pride flag just dropped

deejay

previouslysane-archive

a harry potter au where everything is exactly the same except harry’s glasses have transition lenses

deathdaydreamm

forlovefromfear

Would never have been allowed to happen. JKR is categorically against transition.

heyatleastitsnotcancer

The SSI Restoration Act of 2021 is currently proposed to congress. SSI is a type of disability payment for disabled Americans. The bill will increase the SSI payment to the poverty level (right now the maximum payment is 9528$ a year). It will allow disabled people on SSI to marry and not lose their income. It will increase the asset and income caps for SSI among other improvements.

Friends and I made a website that has all of this info plus a REALLY easy way to send an email to your state reps. If you click the link below and click send email, you can send a letter of support for the SSI Restoration Act to your state reps. It's already written and takes only a few minutes. Seriously it is ridiculously easy. These emails have more pull to reps than resistbot so please fill out if you can!

We also have a Facebook page called "Campaign to Fix SSI" that has this information and regular updates. Here's the link for that.

See posts, photos and more on Facebook.

Please do this and boost! It could change the lives of millions of disabled Americans.

prokopetz

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

prokopetz

Funnily enough, I’m not 100% joking. While many animals have paw pads, the particular kind of soft, squishy beans found on housecats are an adaptation for stealth. Squishy beans mean you’re looking at an ambush predator.