Evil Piss Faggot

I got my fat man lover certificate from Harvard

[evil-ass-piss-alert]

Should I write a Lars x girlfailure!reader fic?

Sure👍

You do that WE kill you

Remaining time: 16 hours 32 minutes

[loserelectrified]

I want him so bad. I talk about him as if he's an angel (he is) I have never wanted to touch someone so badly. I need him to lay on top of me with his full body weight immediately. Right now.

[evil-ass-piss-alert]

Idea🙏🐴:

Lars had a bad day at work. Kurt was blasting music, the lights felt to brights everything was just overwhelming to him. When he finally came home he immediately crashed into you hiding his face in your chest. You barely had time to react but once you registered what was happening you wrapped your arms around him. He immediately started to talk incoherently about his day and how much it sucked. You couldn’t help but rest your face into his hair and comfort him. You grabbed his cheeks and pulled his face to yours before kissing him all over his soft face. He would melt immediately. Completely forgetting his day.

Guess who as two thumbs nd threw up while writing this👀👀

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Cleaning an old drawer and trying to ignore stains of my own blood in it

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Yet another idea (🍺🤫):

* mentions of alcohol and getting drunk

Anytime reader and Lars go to a party and there is alcohol the there is a 80% chance that reader will get drunk. Usually you never got rowdy when drunk until this night. You were being more rowdy than normal and Lars caught on to it almost immediately. His mind started to stress out a bit. What if you get hurt doing something stupid, what if you get into a fight?! He stressed about you until you ended up crashing into his chest. You grumbled something about wanting to go home. He obliged almost immediately (he himself was tired of the party). While walking through the crowded room Lars had noticed how you were stumbling a little. To the average person it would be a tad worrying but nothing catastrophic. However to Lars this was hard for him to see. So slowly his picked you up bridle style and carried you to his car. At his house he got you both in more comfortable clothes, took his time to wipe off your make up, and fell asleep right next to you.

(IM SORRY FOR THE RUSHED ENDING I WAS WRITING THIS AT 12 AND COULDT FALL ASLEEP UNTIL I FINISHED WRITING THIS SLOPPPP)

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Benson lecturing Randy in the car

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Idea (NSFW🥹👀):

Lars get very embarrassed when he gets a boner. Sadly for him he gets them very easily. I mean a single hand on the thigh can make his pants tighter than before. He tries to hid them. Keyword tries. He is horrible at it. He covers his groin with his hands and shuffles away from you, his face becomes beat red and he will stutter out an excuse to get out of the room. You always know when he has one and you are more than ready to help him. You lead him to the couch, unzip his fly, and pump his his dick enough to start your own sperm bank. By the end of it he’s leaning back on the couch panting and drooling a bit thanking you for helping him out

(Once again sorry if my writing is poor I don’t write a lot especially smut so this is pretty new🥹🤫)

[grossndderang3d]

I had this thought in the world of vampires or just bloodsuckers in general

Where blood types share similarities to different beverages in the human world

So out there, there’s a vampire who gets the same affects that alcohol has when they drink the blood of their love interest. They’re literally getting drunk off of their blood.

Idk just a thought

[pinklacedfawn]

Save me chubby Ryan Gosling 🤤

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What I’m gonna be doing to Lars once I get my hands on him

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Irl found my acc

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I’m Benson doesn’t play about those mint chocolate things from Olive Garden

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Idea🤤🤤:

Reader owns a little bakery in town and it is pretty new. Of course Lars being the sweet man he is decided to order something from you yo help you out. He actually really enjoys your food and starts to come to the bakery more often to the point he was a regular. However good things must come with consequences. He would end up gaining so extra weight because of how many treats he orders.

*Ik my writing is hot ASS I just wanted to yap.

[evil-ass-piss-alert]

Give Lars little swats on the ass when he’s being pouty❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[hrbuw]

scribble

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Reader coming home smelling like alcohol and immediately cuddling up to Lars. Lars of course is a little bit worried but before he couldn’t really say anything because you were to busy sloppy kissing all over his face and neck.

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If I become president I’ll make Lars fatter and sexualize him by ten fold🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸