𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑲𝑬 .

𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑.say it’s hard to 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 inside my ocean, i gave you the deep, but you’re 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈. you would let me drown to save your own life, don’t think i can’t see 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠. it’s always in my head, everything is always about you. you tell me you’re a book 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝, but you just wanna tell me 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒐.

[evnrsiers]

mcllecble·

“No.” Evan didn’t own the dungeons, and he certainly didn’t own the potions classroom. If he wanted to do some late-night studying, then he’d have to do it with company. Not that it should be particularly difficult - it wasn’t like she was particularly loud or anything. Besides, the sixth year never seemed to have any issues with ignoring her in the past.

          the no she offers is inconsequential to evan, someone who’d long ago learned the art of getting his way in the face of adversity or petulant push back. “ i thought fifth years had to be in bed at eight thirty sharp like the rest of the children. ”

[evnrsiers]

ritvskeeter·

rita didn’t dislike evan, in fact it was quite the opposite, she was team evan in a lot of ways despite how close she was to vince. but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to leave just because he entered a room. “i’ll just put a sign on the door next time, big letters saying ‘do not disturb’ and maybe it wont get kicked in by brooding, lanky slytherins who want a new place to cause chaos.” she joked lightly. dusting off what little root she scooped up from the table into the pot, she watched it pop and fizz, the same thing it had done last time, which had eventually melted through a textbook. crumpling up the paper she had been working on, rita dipped it into the potion and waited for it’s reaction. “i always knew you had a thing for authoritative father figures. hate to rain on your parade but there’s also evidence that kingsley shacklebolt and alastor moody also sang with the birds and the bees down here.”  her tone had remained unchanged from when she first spoke, not skipping a beat as she quipped back, the upturned corner of her lips the only thing giving away her bluff. “i was planning on leaving anyway, the room will be yours soon enough.”

          “ looks like you’re causing more chaos than i could ever dream to. ” he notes in a flat tone, hovering over her cauldron in all his brooding, lanky glory. he watches it pop unceremoniously and consume the piece of parchment she offers it with a look of disinterest, exhaling. “ how could i have a thing for something i’ve never had experience with? ” the joke is dry, as are most of evan’s stabs at humour. it’s not as if he’s revealing new information. it was well known throughout the castle that his father was in azkaban, and even before that, he hadn’t been the most present of parental figures. “ alastor moody’s too ugly to fuck. ” he says simply, pushing the ring off of his pinky finger with the tip of his thumb of the same hand, letting it fall into her potion with a satisfying plop. 

[evnrsiers]

ritvskeeter·

  the first fifteen spells rita had tried to come up with hadn’t worked in even the slightest, at least not in the way she had intended for them to. which was why she was now sitting on the desk in the potions classroom, several crumpled up pieces of parchment strewn about the floor and a pile of crushed mandrake root in her hand. it was a stretch, but she had heard through the grapevine that people were marked and she wanted to be the first one to find out how to undo it. when the door flies open she jumps, knee bumping the cauldron and she quickly drops the items in her hand to reach out and keep it from spilling. rita only briefly catches the comment he makes as she’s settling the pot back onto its stand. “ew yourself, rosier. last i checked this wasn’t your room.”

         “ i don’t see your name transcribed in blood across the walls, either. ” his voice remains even as it always does, regardless of his level of annoyance or lack thereof. her voice is reminiscent of a buzzing fly, and he feels inclined to counteract the noise by rapping his ringed fingers against the tabletop that she occupies. he’s disinterested in her crumpled papers and mandrake root —- he’d simply been looking for a spicier version of his usual solitude, and she’d gotten in the way of it. her potion-related endeavours were not nearly close to being on his radar. “ it’s more mine than it’ll ever be yours. this room used to be where salazar slytherin took his hookups. ” it's very much in evan's character to joke with a straight face, no trace of mirth detectable in his features.

[evnrsiers]

          evan hasn’t haunted the dungeons half as much since he’d stopped brewing the elixir to induce euphoria —- and returning to the scene of the crime isn’t the rush of blissful nostalgia he’d imbecilely hoped it would be. he kicks open the door to the potions classroom unceremoniously and with the toe of his shoe, not expecting company. “ ew —- ” he starts, tone dry, “ get out. ”   @petrificusstarter​

[ridleydaisy]

GLOW (2017-)

[evnrsiers]

for @macmcry​

          before marlene, most members of gryffindor house had been absent from evan’s world. it was as if he wore blinders that confined his vision to only his fellow slytherins and the few tolerable ravenclaws. now, he saw them everywhere —- which was far too frequent for his liking. standing by the lake for a moment of stillness, he can’t help but clench his jaw at the shock of red hair he spots out of the corner of his eye. turning, he can’t tell which of marlene’s friends this is —- but it’s one of them, nonetheless. “ if you’re gonna jump down my throat, you’ll be upset to know that my entire body’s already filled up by plans to break marlene’s heart and spit in the school’s pumpkin juice supply. ”

[evnrsiers]

for @mentirasrojas​

          excellence in avoidance was one of evan’s familial rites, passed down from his father to him —- and he exercised it every day, keeping away from lucinda to the best of his abilities. he doesn’t want to deal with the look on her face, the irksome memories that come back to him at the mere sight of her —- but no matter how large hogwarts castle is, the world inside of it is still incredibly small. “ watch out. ” he warns in minimal words, pushing past her between the cramped library shelves to reach for the book of potions.

[evnrsiers]

rvbvstn·

“i’m not being a martyr evan, i’m taking responsibility, however foreign that might be to you.” if evan wanted to be blunt rabastan could meet him there. “and i won’t apologize for feeling the way i do, or at all. it shouldn’t be a crime to want good things for the people you care about. and i definitely won’t stand here and take that shit from you, or anyone else.” if he was trying to provoke rabastan to anger it was working. “i have no intention of doing any such thing. what marlene and i had is over, dead and buried so please try not to think i’d sink so low as to try and steal her away from you.” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i have quidditch to focus on right now, i can’t be dealing with this anymore, i’ve dealt with it enough. think what you want but i’m just gonna stay away from you both for a couple of weeks, not that it matters to you. life goes on evan, i’m not holding grudges, i don’t have the time or energy for that. i’ll see you around.”

“ taking responsibility for what? your own emotions? ” evan’s not trying to elicit any sort of specific reaction from rabastan, he’s simply talking at him. his usual heavy silence hung low and persistent over most of his relationships, positive or otherwise. even those well-acquainted with his frequent lack of an opinion couldn’t do without rebuttal in certain situations –– and it seemed to evan that now, rabastan needed more from him. whether or not he could give him the words that he wanted to hear was another issue entirely. “ i don’t think you would or could steal her away from me. she made her choice. ” he finds it difficult not to roll his eyes at yet another mention of quidditch, as if when rab walks away he’ll instantly be consumed with thoughts of bludgers and flying formations instead of the demise of his relationship with marlene. “ you say you want the best for the people you care about, and on the other side of the coin you need to stay away from us because you can’t deal with our hypothetical happiness. ” 

[evnrsiers]

mvrleymk·

the two of them had spent enough time together over the last year and then some to know the other well. this also meant she was sure evan knew that there was more to her story because there was always more, she never ran out of things to say. but with him she didn’t feel the need to keep talking, not anymore at least. before it used to be to fill the silence that would get left between them and gave her too much time to think about him when she didn’t want to. but now she just said her piece and was okay with this new silence. 

marlene smiled when he told her how he found out. it meant two things, a bunch of other people knew, which was just spectacular (sarcasm intended), but also because it fit so seamlessly into his personality. the sleepy smile fell from her eyes, but not her face. shrugging, she brought his hand closer to her, letting go so she could now observe the rings he adorned. “james was here for a little bit, he left before you came.” marlene explained. she was both glad and maybe hurt, she couldn’t exactly tell. it was nice that someone she always wanted to see could be here and it was just the two of them, judgement free, but she didn’t want to think that everyone else just simply didn’t care. leaning her head into the pillow, she traced a finger over the roses of one of the silver rings set on his hand, the flowers doleful yet with an air of something that was once beauty. marlene let them sit there in silence for a moment, just enjoying his presence as he slouched in the chair. looking up at him with what she was sure were puppy eyes, she asked, “you don’t have to go soon right?”

“ i doubt i need another defence against the dark arts class, ” he quips. wilted in the uncomfortable chair in the hospital wing, the change of scenery suits their relationship. at once, evan feels a sense of unease –– not so much wishing but wondering what it would be like if he could just be evan and marlene mckinnon. without the rosier, without the silver and green tie that sorts him into his allotted category. but then there’s the matter of the dark mark, the skull and snake permanently emblazoned on his forearm that calls him to his duty as a follower of the dark lord. the dark mark that marlene is still unaware of. he drags himself out of his introspection with a sigh, taking his hand back from her so he can twist each of his rings around their respective fingers once. 

“ you remind me of my father, right now. ” he looks at her, eyes glinting. “ imprisoned for an unknown amount of time. ” he can’t help the smile that slips onto his face. most of evan’s jokes were told to himself inside his mind, not even half of them making it past his lips into the outside world. in all the time he’d spent with her, he’d noted that marlene would laugh at almost anything –– as long as he framed it as something that was meant to be funny. since that realization, he’d been pushing it further and further, experimenting on what would or wouldn’t make her smile. in this instance, the joke is half a question –– wondering how long they would keep her, and subsequently him, here. 

[evnrsiers]

rvbvstn·

he’s quiet, still for a few moments, his mind blank for blissful seconds until evan speaks and the words are like ice in rabastan’s veins. it wasn’t unexpected he supposed, in such a situation but he’d never push his friend away for — this. if anything it should bond them but bas was being naive and he shoved those thoughts away. “you have every right to think i would, but i’m making a conscious effort here. i don’t blame you. do i wish you had chosen anyone else? yeah i do, how could i not. but i don’t blame you because it’s marlene. i’ve never seen you care about anyone, you think i’d do anything to take this from you? you’re wrong there, mate.” he’d take out his anger and heartbreak on anyone but evan. “if marlene and i had had a good relationship, one without cracks, one without damage and doubt she’d never have been drawn away. if i have to blame anyone it’s myself.” and her but he’d never say that out loud. he was silent as real emotion leaked out of evan and he was glad to see it but it caused him pain too. why couldn’t it have been anyone but marlene? because she was the sun, and no one knew that better than rabastan did. “i know, i believe you.” he kept his hands to himself, balled into fists inside his pockets. “just — be happy, that’s all i want for you, and for her.”

if rabastan has any anger burning inside of him directed at evan, he doesn’t show it ––– and that rubs evan the wrong way, worse than if his friend had been furious. at its root, maybe the problem was that evan was looking for forgiveness. his emotional intelligence was stunted, so much so that he’d not once thought of rab as he fell for marlene. maybe he could justify it by saying that it hadn’t really been falling, it’d been sinking. over the course of the year that they studied together, marlene had been in and out of a relationship with his best friend. rabastan was the only reason he’d known of her existence. evan couldn’t possibly deny that he’d used his miniscule emotional range of understanding to his advantage, ignoring her involvement with rab as she melted into his thoughts slowly but surely. “ you couldn’t pry her from my cold, dead hands, rab, ” he admits. “ but your martyr routine makes me sick. ” he wrinkles his nose, brow furrowed as if his stomach really does turn. “ we all fucked up. you, me and marlene. you’re the least at fault. it’s just logic. ” it was fact, devoid of emotion –– as most of evan’s thoughts were. 

[evnrsiers]

mvrleymk·

SHE WANTS TO LAUGH at his comment, but instead exhaling a little more air than normal will have to suffice. “i am good at quidditch.” marlene defends just as quietly and gave his hand a light squeeze, “i’m even better when i’ve had more than two hours of sleep.” the only explanation she was going to give as to what happened was that. she didn’t want to tell him about everything else that had been zipping through her mind all night and tried lulling her to sleep while in the sky. besides, seeing evan here only eased her mind all that much more than her already venting to james. evan always brought her a kind of peace whenever he was around, but this time, especially after dorcas’ disappointment laden lecture, she could nearly cry again.  

marlene had to believe that she knew him better than most people, with the exception to maybe one or two, or she’d overthink herself sick. she had to know that there were moments shared between them that weren’t falsified or pretend, that the things people took offense to were evan just being evan, something she’d learn to brush off. the only side to him that dorcas believed existed wasn’t the one sitting here, holding her hand. and given the time of day, she couldn’t imagine that he had been up for very long, so curiously she asked, “how did you find out? the only people awake were gryffindor team and the owls.”

in all his stony silence, evan’s picked up methods of observation that really should be above his emotional skill level. he can read a person’s face almost as easily as he can read a book, and marlene’s emotions were amongst some of the easiest to pinpoint that he’s ever come across. maybe it was their connection ––– the connection that he seemingly could find no rhyme or reason to explain, or maybe it was just her. he can tell that she’s keeping parts of her story close to her chest, giving him the version that’s short and sweet. evan doesn’t prod, the same way she lets him keep quiet for most of the time that they spend together. 

“ i eavesdropped. ” he admits, shrugging loosely and leaning back in his chair. he’d already been awake, as he was most days –– he enjoyed the solitude of the corridors in the mornings, most of the school’s population still asleep in their dorms. “ your friends aren’t here. ” the observation is an obvious one, sure –– but his surprise is implied. it was difficult to find marlene without one or more of her gryffindor cohorts. this was a pleasant surprise, if one put aside the fact that she was injured and obviously exhausted. 

[evnrsiers]

rvbvstn·

evan changes the subject as easily as he breathes and it impacts bas like a bludger to the chest. it wasn’t like he didn’t know his best mate wouldn’t want to analyze their new dynamic, he didn’t expect evan to be someone he wasn’t but it cut bas deep to know the subject merited little consideration to evan when it had torn bas open. maybe he’d been TOO understanding, too empathetic for his own good. he gave and gave and gave and never got anything back, so what was this friendship built on? was this just blind loyalty, could he really say he knew evan better than most, or at all? or had he deluded himself into thinking that because evan tolerated him a bit more that they were truly friends? reconsidering every connection was not an enjoyable task for rabastan but everything was shifting now and he couldn’t leave any stone unturned.  “he said he told me so, in reference to marlene and i just — snapped.” he admitted but for once with little apology, vincent didn’t deserve it and evan wouldn’t care that bas had been violent. “hit lucius too, he said i’m a disgrace to our house, but his information was inaccurate at best. so i stunned him into unconsciousness.” he paused, saying too much, pushing evan to perhaps his limits. “i didn’t realize i was so angry.”

watching rabastan’s face, evan studies his friend’s features –– searching for the tells that he’s collected over the years they’ve known each other. perhaps their friendship wasn’t conventional, and by dating marlene evan’s pushed it a little too far –– but evan considers them brothers by circumstance. he’d jump in front of an unforgivable curse for the younger lestrange, and he didn’t feel that he had to justify that feeling. considering both of the boys’ attachments to marlene, rabastan could claim supportiveness all day, but his true feelings would likely come out the same way his apparent anger at vincent and lucius had –– by surprise and all at once. inhaling through his nose, evan steels himself in preparation of sharing. “ how long until you snap on me? ” he asks, quirking his eyebrows upwards a bit. “ how long, rab? ” as far as evan knew, the heart didn’t mend itself overnight. if rabastan felt for marlene even half of what evan did when he was with her, there was no way that this conversation alone could even be within the realm of easy. “ maybe i couldn’t have picked anybody worse to give a shit about –– but i do give a shit. i do. ” he swallows, a slight grimace on his face –– as if admitting his feelings to rabastan physically pains him. 

[evnrsiers]

mvrleymk·

@evnrsiers·

MADAM POMFREY SAID she could easily fix marlene’s arm, she saw it, wrapped her up and made her drink some awful potion but told she’d be perfect in just over an hour or two. however marlene didn’t want just an hour or two, she wanted a break. she just wanted time to freeze for just a day so she could be alone with her thoughts and feelings and sleep and finally feel like she’s rested. all she had to do was look madam pomfrey in the eye and cry, lip quiver and all, and the nurse told her that she could leave once she felt ‘better’. 

marlene had finally convinced james that it was okay to leave her side, just long enough for her to actually try and sleep, something she craved desperately, especially after a cry as draining as the one she just had. sleep was almost her friend when life decided to bring her something nearly as calming, but the slightest bit more talkative. the sound of a body sitting in the chair next to her made her open her eyes that were heavy with lack of sleep, taking a second to register who it was. once it clicked, she sat up a little and reached out for one of his hands with her uninjured arm. giving him what should’ve been a smile, marlene spoke softly, “hi.”

evan had learned about marlene’s injury through the grapevine, collecting bits and pieces through heard conversations and the few brave souls who felt it necessary to come up to him and recount their own versions of the tale. evan only favoured hairpin reactions when it came to anger, so it wasn’t difficult for him to remain calm on his way to the hospital wing. he figured he wouldn’t have passed so many people talking about a pregnant kneazle on his way if marlene mckinnon, hogwarts’ sweetheart had died of a freak quidditch accident.

armed to plop himself in the chair placed at her bedside with a sarcastic comment, he’s stopped only by how soft she looks. the tears she’d shed were obvious, as was the fact that the extent of her injuries thankfully stopped at just her arm. “ i thought people said you were good at quidditch. ” he says, linking his fingers with her outstretched hand. planting his feet on the floor, he shuffles his chair closer to her bed. “ that’s what they say, right? ” evan asks, voice quiet as to keep their conversation between them.  

[evnrsiers]

rvbvstn·

evan’s reaction is confusing but bas chooses not to over analyze it, for once. as close as he is to evan he still felt he knew so little about him. just days ago that realization would have stung bas to his core but today he feels almost apathetic, it is what it is. and maybe the reason he had so much issue with his own housemates was because he’d been barking up the wrong trees for his whole life. there was little warmth and almost no acceptance among the slytherins, among the purebloods he’d been running into at parties since he was a babe in arms. almost nothing linked most of them together, and even this something deeper with evan felt a bit more shallow than it used to. “what would be the point of  —- disapproval or anger though? i’d lose one or both of you and i don’t want that. can’t force yourself on someone who just doesn’t feel that way anymore because again what’s the point. i’m not about to intentionally cause harm to either one of you.” he paused, took a deep breath. “but i did punch vincent goyle in the face.”

evan had always been a possessive personality. growing up, the simple act of being an only child only exacerbated the already dominant part of his psyche. perhaps it was unhealthy, but evan felt a sense of ownership over those he was close enough to let in. in reality, this is a side effect of being parented by his father’s four house elves while the senior rosier ran with the dark lord –– the people evan had grown to love and trust during his childhood were beings that he owned. evan’s romantic trysts are not the only relationships affected by his stunted upbringing –– he feels an attachment to bas that’s stronger than the connection he shares with marlene or anyone else. he’d almost resented marlene while rabastan was with her, an obscure jealousy that he would’ve felt no matter who the girl was. he doesn’t want to acknowledge his friend’s loyalty, his sensitivity when it came to his friends or the girl he loved. being around bas could tend to make evan feel empty –– broken. he would watch rab emote or overthink and wonder why he wasn’t the same. so he doesn’t acknowledge it, simply glancing over the explanation in favour of the next topic of conversation. “ so did i. ” he admits, a thin smile touching his lips. “ he deserves it. i hate the way he struts around like an underfed peacock. ”

[evnrsiers]

rvbvstn·

he nodded, he’d felt the same way but he did love the crowd during quidditch. it was becoming difficult to ignore the similarities and differences between himself and evan. he laughed lightly, shaking his head. “i’d never. maybe other friends, but you? so generous.” he teased but barely, he was still in the muck of his  — well, was it even a break up? “marlene told me, about you and her and i think it’s good mate, for both of you. i mean, i support you both.” his words sounded stupid and apologetic in his head but what else could he say?

evan almost physically recoils from bas’s mention of marlene as if it burns him. for a fleeting moment, he’s upset with her for really telling –– for breaking the suspension of disbelief that had surrounded the idea of them as a couple. “ do you? ” he asks, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “ because i couldn’t. if roles were reversed. ” his voice is flat, though his thoughts are swirling like a tumultuous storm. evan’s words were eternally unfiltered, but he hardly offers up his thoughts and emotions on a silver platter. rabastan is the brother he was never awarded, and evan knows he owes him the transparency he struggles so hard to put forth. 

[devoncarlson-a]

Hero Fiennes-Tiffin in the After We Collided Teaser Trailer

[evnrsiers]

mvrleymk·

HE DOESN’T GIVE HER TIME to say anything, which was best for this situation anyway. his lips on hers caused the ever present butterflies to erupt into chaos, her heart practically screaming from her chest. every part of her protests that moment’s end, the feeling something that felt so much like actual gold she had to tell herself she was over exaggerating. once he’s pulled away, marlene allows herself to give him a small smile partnered with the smallest of giddy laughs kept quieted by her closed lips. she was too scared to speak, afraid that if she said something she’d ruin the moment, like he’d realize how little he actually liked her. instead, she brushes her thumb over his cheek, a habit she’s picked up when she’s appreciating his eyes, his smile, or his face in general. 

marlene keeps herself occupied, taking their free hands and intertwining them. it’s when shes looking at him now that she knew for a fact he was different, nearly scaring herself with how much she realized she’d do for this boy, her eyes and smile softening as they met his. people had said he wasn’t kind, or even nice for that matter, most of which marlene had already gathered for herself, but behind the things he said, all his actions had registered gently, something she hadn’t been expecting. rather than explaining, or trying to argue with him, evan gets a light squeeze of his hand from her, the words leaving her mouth soft with fondness, “i’m not going anywhere.”

when marlene touches his face, it’s as if evan becomes a different person. it’s almost exactly like being drunk –– though you’re acting differently than you might normally and you can’t exactly help that fact, there’s a tiny sober voice in the back of your brain that knows the idiotic acts you’re committing and is well aware of the price you’ll pay later on. it’s even more unfortunate that he likes the person she morphs him into, likes the feeling of blissful oblivion that is just simply being with her. it’s that feeling that’s urged him to so quickly develop the habit of holding her hands to his face so that she can’t take them away before he’s ready to be himself again. 

if he were asked to number off the reasons marlene might genuinely like him that weren’t physical, he couldn’t. if he were asked to number off the reasons he genuinely liked her, it’d be even more impossible ––– evan’s feelings for marlene were an intangible concept, especially to him. but even so confusing and indescribable as his feelings were, he shows them in the way he allows her to hold his hands whenever she pleases –– he’d never pull away from a touch she’d offer him, not in any circumstance. he shows them in the way he smiles down at her. there, albeit subtle. “ okay. ” he accepts her words just like he’d accept anything from her –– anything that wasn’t a material object, of course. he closes the space between them once again, pecking her lips once, twice, three times in quick succession before he steps away and pulls her back into the main corridor by their intertwined hands.