@ewwme7 - Tumblr Blog

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i-want-spankings

“A person can only be picked up and set down so many times before they feel like they’re not worth being held.”

- Insecurities

scottclarkk7-blog

sub-cmdr-deactivated20220913

Not a Burden

Little subbie, being your Dom is not a burden to me. Rather it is a responsibility, a mantle, that I choose to take on. I know what it entails and I willingly accept.

I already do this. As a father and as an employee I am driven to take charge and do what’s required to succeed. It’s who I am and must be encoded in my very DNA. I want to be counted on, steady, reliable, unflappable.

Being a Dom aligns very well with this. I want to earn your trust, day after day. To be your welcome refuge and your protector. To help you grow and flourish. Doing this helps me to grow and allows me to flourish. Its our perpetual upwards spiral.

I know that I am fallible. At times I do not live up to my own standards and have let others down. Failure leaves an awful taste, and I continue to strive to improve. I learn from my mistakes and adopt preventative measures. I don’t expect you to fix my faults, just to be patient as I learn and grow.

Sure, responsibility for another can be stressful, but a good and healthy stress. It’s what I derive meaning from - a loving father, a capable and competent employee, and a trustworthy and loving Dom. Being these things feeds me, and without them I lose a part of who I am. Being your Dom nourishes me in a deep and profound way. It is not a burden at all.

There will be times, for a myriad of reasons, that I cannot manage the responsibility as I should and I need a breather. I will do my best to communicate this and together we can work this out. Relationships require teamwork, D/s ones included. We have a strong bedrock, a deep and loving connection, and we will be just fine.

submissive-seeking

A fine addition to the collection of “What it means to be a healthy, functional Dominant” pieces wriiten from D-type point of view.

Well done @sub-cmdr , well done 👏👏👏👏

instructor144

^^^^

adrenaline

by Not Vntina

ewwme7

Lmao.... last time, I promise!

the-vegan-muser

bitchycode

ewwme7

Bahahaha

At least I know...

lipstic-junkie

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YES, yes we do 🐘

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Signs of a fantastic Dom

We always talk about “signs of a terrible Dom” so let’s talk about some signs of an actually good Dom

They ask you about your day: They show compassion and actually want to listen about how your day went

They ALWAYS want to keep fields of communication open: Whether you’re in the middle of a kinky-as-fuck scene or you two are in a heated argument, the means of communication is ALWAYS open. Once you give your safe word, IT IS DONE

Aftercare is a top priority. No matter what this is for you in particular, they put a lot of emphasis on aftercare (cuddling, movie watching, bath time, etc.)

They aren’t afraid to scold you when you actually mess up. Sometimes we fuck up, both with our dynamics or we screwed up something at work or school. Doms will scold you, put also help cheer you up and might even offer ways to make it positive

Sex might be apart of the dynamic, but it’s not the focus. I get the fact some people get involved with other BDSM partners for the sole reason of sex, but outside of those VERY SPECIFIC DYNAMICS, sex is NOT the sole focus. It might be a fun “add on”, but it’s NOT the primary objective (penetrative sex or other forms of sex acts).

They are concerned for your safety, but don’t overdo it. They want you safe, but don’t take it to the paranoid level where they need to track every little thing you do.

They respect your privacy. EVERYONE has secrets (”skeletons in your closest”), even among romantic partners who have been partners for a long time, people have stuff they just don’t feel comfortable confessing every little thing in their life. A respectful Dom understands this and doesn’t need to go spying on you or attempt to invade your privacy (track internet history, track phone usage, track where you’ve been, etc.)

They trust you. A Dom who doesn’t trust you will purposely try to fuck up the relationship/dynamic, they will show severe jealousy, and other negative aspects. A Dom that trusts you will respect YOU as a person as well as you to keep your word on different things.

When disagreements happen, they use constructive language. There is not a healthy relationship on this earth that is 100% argument/disagreement free. However, whenever these do happen, it is NOT a “me against you” style argument (”I WON THE ARGUMENT”, none of that). It is done in a way with minimal accusatory/hurtful statements

They respect your hard limits. Doms know hard limits don’t mean “convince me”. They know to stay the fuck away from hard limits with a ten foot freaking pole.

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All of these are so important but #5 really sticks out to me. So many “Dom’s” think that this lifestyle is solely about sex and sexual gratification but it really isn’t, in my opinion. Hell, that’s really the last thing that I’m thinking of most of the time because THERE’S SO MUCH MORE THAT GOES INTO BEING A DOM! It’s really a full time job that not everyone is truly up for. You are someone’s care giver. I repeat: YOU ARE SOMEONE’S CAREGIVER! Your responsibility to your sub is to provide structure and clear direction. To be someone they can rely on when things get stressful. Someone to console them and help them work through anxiety no matter how big or small it may seem to you at the time. To be someone that will always provide positive reinforcement and help with self confidence. And honestly, so much more. Add in managing your own life, and it gets a little short on time for anything else. So when sex stuff IS involved, it’s something special. It’s the cherry on top of something already very good. And you should be getting satisfaction by watching her thrive in your dynamic and by watching her grow as a person through your guidance.

If you’re going to be in this lifestyle, be in it for the right reasons and understand the responsibility that comes with it. Because her needs are just as important as yours, and submission is something that you earn. It’s a gift that should be treasurered and respected. Just like your sub.

ewwme7

I will ALWAYS repost this. 💕

no-longer-another-bondi-blonde

goodgirl-maybenot-deactivated20

❤❤❤❤

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So you think you can Dom?

You walk through a room with a commanding presence, confident in your superiority, you can leave a perfect handprint on a sub’s ass, and you’ve got a killer suit with great cuff links.

Tell me about your ethics.

Tell me how you calm a sub who is in the midst of a panic attack at work.

Regale me with a passed experience where you made the choice to be selfless for the care of another.

Better yet, tell me about a time you failed and how you grew from it to never make the mistake again.

Being a Dom isn’t just having confidence, a sharp look, and a firm hand. You are never as Dominant as when you are caring for your submissive. The tough talk and bluster will only get you far enough to give a sub an experience she will walk away from knowing what she doesn’t want. You want to be a Dom? Be a gentleman first and foremost. Shed the ego, it has no place here. This is a call to the gentleman Dom’s, the Daddy Dom’s, the Masters, the real Dominants. Stand up and let’s show the unowned, the newly awakened, and those submissives hurting and ready to give up that they have hope. That there is still a chivalrous and steadfast order of worthy Dominants ready to care, nurture, protect, and punish from a position of power and passion granted by those with the boundless wells of strength, devotion, and love.

submissive-seeking

Always, always, always a reblog!

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Ugh…I have too many examples I have failed. But I’m never afraid to admit I did failures. I’m pretty sure I will do mistakes in the future. Why? Because nobody is perfect and so is the future. And in case I do mistakes? There’s this thing called communication. Communication helps to grow and to learn and to avoid doing the same mistakes again.

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❤❤❤❤