Humility is the key ingredient to respect
How we treat our spouse has a direct impact on how our children will treat others
1. What we think: remembering, being present, renewing of the mind
2. Where we look - at them when talking, dangers of multitasking, no phones or gadgets when family time, being present,
3. How we pay attention and listen, give our full attention, learning to wait, ways to pay attention and listen
4. What we say, be aware, and sensitive, be lovingly honest with your words,
5 things to do that model respect in your family
1. Stay calm, pray, slow to speak, try not to take it personally,
2. Be on time - be aware my actions affect others
3. Serve one another - start from a young age, help kids understand that life is not about fairness or what’s best for themselves
5. Follow through - keep your promises, don’t make promises you can’t keep
Kids who understand the importance tend to have healthier relationships in the future
We are all flawed, we are all learning.
3 ways to show grace in parenting:
1. The husband and wife relationship, to model they are on the same team. Kids witness the reality that marriage requires constant attention to maintain a bridge of understanding
2. Be aware of personality differences
🦁: leaders, visionary, hard workers, strong, bold, intense, like to be in control, don’t have flexible mind set, don’t like change, don’t like conflict, will deal with conflict right away.
🦦: spontaneous, restless, outgoing, bubbly, flexible mindset, don’t mind crisis, prefer relationships over task. Talker. Opposite of sea otter.
Golden retriever: compassionate, loyal, flexible mindset, tend to avoid and dislike conflicts, people pleasers, not overly opinionated, opposite of lion
🦫: organized, analytical, perfectionist, they like rules, structure, function well, moody, self centred
*some personalities might match more with another. One parent may connect with one of the personalities a lot more.
Four major stages of development
2. Four to five years old - learn about obedience, disobedience, consequences, ask a lot of questions
3. Six to Twelve years old: experiencing lots of changes in brain, emotional, and hormonal, focus on imperfections, flaws, mom and dad says this, but the 🌎 is this, or mom and dad are doing the opposite of what they say. Noticing, sex differences, questions about boundaries, inconsistencies, fairness. They are not trying to challenge our authority, but making sense of the world by questioning us. Understand that it’s normal at their stage. If they bring up an inconsistency in your life: it’s best to acknowledge it. Mom and dad also struggle with it, and don’t try to save face.
We need Gods grace, and Gods forgiveness.
Becoming more prone to take risks, longing to belong and fit in (fitting in vs belonging). Pursuit of friendship as part of survival. Get bored easily. Tend to stay up later, don’t feel as cold.
***showing grace at each stage of development does NOT mean we lower Gods kingdom standards for our children 👧
Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Forgiveness: confession involves admitting and asking for forgiveness
Admitting when we are wrong, to our kids, can have kids respect you more!!!!!
Confess: it’s okay to make mistakes, kids don’t need that anxiety to be perfect. Confessions to one another, will bring us together.
Steps to develop forgiveness eness in the family:
1. Prayer “Lord help me, I’m really frustrated right now”, calms you down, so fire doesn’t get out of control
2. Stop and ask questions to understand: do not jump to conclusion. Understanding requires communication. Listening - hear what they are saying “check in to what they are saying”. Seek to understand the bigger picture.
Ex: they may lie because,,, there’s a bigger issue at play
3. PAUSE, reset and restart. Instead of reacting, just take a break maybe to the bathroom.
