Jongin watched all of the kindness drain out of Luhan’s features and felt the guilt pooling in his stomach. He hadn’t meant any negative connotation to be associated with calling Luhan pretty, it had just been a casual slip of the tongue and a truthful statement. He had never seen the elder as fragile nor saw him solely as a pretty face despite his more delicate features. He was pretty for a male and that was that, but Jongin could tell by the way the older male was reacting to his words, it wasn’t a compliment he liked to hear and he wished he could just take it back. Jongin barely managed to cover the flinch at the cold tone of voice Luhan used when he finally spoke up, a frown marring Jongin’s features because he’d never used that tone with him before and he didn’t like it. He felt that he had wronged Luhan and that hadn’t been his intention. He tried to remain unaffected by Luhan’s words but it struck a chord in him, a painful one that he never liked to have plucked since it had a tendency to prompt the uncomfortable and disgusting memories he’d buried to resurface. He did flinch this time at the crude comments and he shrunk back, hands falling to his lap and wringing together anxiously. Every words rolling off Luhan’s tongue were words he’d heard before, were words that had been crooned into his ear or panted against his neck and it made him sick. He could feel the bile rising and the tears stinging, made worse by the heated passion the words were spoken with while directed at him. Jongin knew he’d just hit a nerve but he couldn’t help but take it personally; all he wanted to do was help, give Luhan realistic advice because while Luhan might trust them now, his experience proved that they weren’t trustworthy no matter the years of service.
He fidgeted in his seat, grimacing when his eyes caught sight of the food and he pushed it away, more in Luhan’s direction than his own. His appetite had diminished and he kept his eyes downward, gaze resting on the ice melting in his glass of water as he spoke. “I didn’t mean it like that…” he murmured, quiet and closed off. “You can’t put your faith in them hyung. You might trust her now, and who knows, maybe you’ll prove me wrong and she’ll continue to keep you safe, but my experience show they aren’t trustworthy people, no matter how long you’ve known them or been working for them. You make one mistake, slip up just once and you’ll pay the price. Hell, my mother and I paid the price and we didn’t do shit to deserve it.” He heaved out a sigh, teeth worrying his lip enough to make it swell. “They’re manipulative bastards with no heart and a mind for only one thing; money, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get it.”
“I don’t doubt that you can take care of yourself, but you asked for my advice and opinion and I’m telling you like it is.” He finished, glancing up to watch Luhan snag a steamed bun from the plate and keeping his eyes on him as he ate. As good as they looked, he wasn’t sure he could stomach it now, not with the way his stomach was churning uncomfortably and making him feel ill despite being empty. He simply nodded at Luhan’s dismissal of his bartender idea, keeping quiet because it seemed like Luhan had already made up his mind and the thought made him deflate, shoulders slumping just a bit.
The silence prevailed, the minutes ticking by awkwardly and Jongin finished off his water, his sweet and sour pork untouched. Luhan’s voice broke through the quiet and he looked up at him again, gnawing on his lip as the elder boy spoke about looking into other options again. He didn’t have high hopes that Luhan wouldn’t just go through with joining Scorpio as a means to an end, but he gave him a small smile in response regardless, not wanting Luhan’s attempt at reassurance to go unappreciated. “I’m sure you can find something…” he murmured softly, eyes softening at the apology. “It’s fine hyung, you don’t have to apologize.”
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