finifugal

oh sehun - twenty - arcanum bartender & weapon designer heart belongs to him disclaimer - tracking - warning

[xarcxsehun]

I just eventually returned to this account to tell you that I'm dropping Sehun and apologize to those whom he has plotted with, and... I just checked my inbox. Tumblr, as usual, didn't notify me of new messages, and the submissions that I've received are really, really touching. Thank you, guys, for your endless support. I'm glad to know that this place has been thoroughly enjoyable for you, and that it's served its goal to provide a home for those roleplayers who love this theme and wish to write together. I really, really do appreciate each and every submission I've received, and I'm just... really touched. I don't know what else to say except thank you, thank you very much.

And ah, as this is supposed to be a goodbye message for Sehun, I'll talk about him now. So yes, I'm dropping Sehun, and I still have Eunji although she's still on hiatus while I sort things out. As you all have noticed, Sumin has been updating the main in my stead, and I've been terribly busy with one thing. My break from SAB has been over for a while, actually. I've been working on a new main, so for me (and us), it's going to be a new start (I just want a clean slate of a blog, actually, because the other one is a mess). Not much is going to be changed, and the surprise will hopefully be revealed by next week. I got sidetracked again, see. Anyway, Sehun has been my oldest character to date (I actually brought him from another roleplay), and he's been over six months old. He's one of the characters I'm attached the most to, but unfortunately, his time is up.

For those who have interacted with him (or even haven't!), you can pretend that Arcanum still has this stoic bartender. He still lives happily ever after with the Jongin and the Peanut. Just pretend that there's another Sehun in SAB's canon universe while someone else takes Sehun. Again, thank you for interacting with Sehun and helping me nourish him as a character, it's been enjoyable. I'll return when Eunji's hiatus ends and when everything with the roleplay has been sorted out since I'm planning on a more interactive (and bloodier, this is a mafia roleplay so you need more blood spilled yes yes mwahaha) way to engage the members in plot. Or maybe I'll even take a new character... who knows. But for now, my main concern would be the main blog.

So, I'm bad at ending things like this, but thank you. I'll keep this account up (especially those lovely messages, really, thank you) as a shrine because Sehun will always, always live in me. Farewell as Sehun, for now. ; u ;

[xarcxsehun]

I'd like to thank everyone who's been showing their support for this roleplay so far. I've read all of your lovely messages and made my decision, thank you so much. It's really nice to know that the members enjoy their time here and would still love to continue roleplaying here. As for me, I will be taking a mini break from all the stress, and therefore the main will be updated by the mod while I'm taking my break. I will be replying every now and then, but Sehun and Eunji will not be that active during this week. Thank you so much for everything, though, guys, and it's really nice to see the activity is picking up again. Thank you, just thank you. ; u ;

[xarcxsehun]

Hello, hi! This is sort of an update, yes, and possibly something which I'd rather do more personally, thus me utilizing Sehun's account to upload this. This is a really difficult update for me to make--it's not even an update, but I don't know what to call it exactly. A confession, maybe, and a request for opinions.

I'm writing this mainly because like what I've always said, SAB is nothing without its members, and so I'm here to ask for your opinions instead of making my own decision regarding the place.

This issue has been going on for a while, actually, and I've talked to several people regarding this. Running this roleplay as of late has been stressful for me, and it's been something which I no longer enjoy. There are numerous reasons to it, and I will delve into them as I go. My point of posting this is the fact that I've been ruminating over closing the roleplay for good, maybe only for now, maybe indefinitely. But this, again, is something which I've been trying not to do as I love this place dearly; it's my brainchild and I love its concept, its members, and my muses.

The main reason which makes me think of this decision is the fact that despite the presence of people who I know are still interested in this roleplay (and for that, thank you very much, I really appreciate it), most of the interests have been dying out, and I've pointed it out around two weeks ago with the admin notes posted on the main blog. Lately people have constantly gone inactive, a lot of them reopened, and I feel tedious having to upload profiles only to delete them again around two weeks later. These have been going on for a while, and as much as I'd like to continue with the mundane routine given that I knew from the start that it would be like this, it would be difficult without the support from the members.

The support which I'm talking about here comes from various ways. Liking an admin post could mean a world to me, really--it might be really petty, just a trivial gesture done by clicking a button, and some might think that it's really insignificant. But for me, it does show that you care, that you read posts, that you anticipate reservations, that you welcome the newest members by liking their profiles. Liking a self-para would also make someone feel welcome, liking a post for plotting request would make them feel accepted.

Support can also come from simply greeting people--it's written in the rules, and a simple "Welcome to the rp!" wouldn't take you more than 20 seconds to write and send, but not everyone does it, still. And what saddens me more is the fact that some newer people don't get plots, even when they have asked for it by posting an OOC post. I personally have tried to take up more characters so that I'm able to plot with more people, but unfortunately as I've been slow with replies lately I haven't been able to do so, and I'm terribly sorry. Still, I feel that this attempt to make new members feel welcome and get more plots isn't something which I can do alone. I'm only a member, and we have at least 40 in total.

Reaching this part about the number of members, this unfortunately reflects the fact that the dash isn't moving the way it is with the number of people that it has. It's definitely not inactive--some people still post frequently, and I'm extremely grateful for that. I'm aware that real life comes first, but while it does come first, joining a roleplay is something which you have chosen to do, and therefore should've come with an understanding that you need to balance it out with your real life business. While I'm trying to understand that some people cannot post frequently and have to go on continuous hiatus, it's unfortunately detrimental to the roleplay's activity, and subsequently makes the newer (and even older) members leave due to the place not being as active as it should (or as expected, considering the number of characters we have). It's not enough to simply be interested in the roleplay and your muse, but not show the effort to write and keep posting to keep the place alive.

As you probably have seen, I've tried adding people to the team in hopes to improve my muse about the place, and I'm really thankful for their help. But still, my muse for this place hasn't been picking up. I frankly don't feel enough support although I know some people are still supporting me (thank you, thank you so much) and I might be a bad admin due to me being too demanding and not being able to persevere through this. I've been developing ideas to improve this place and it's going to be a lot of work, but I really don't want to try harder and see it become futile the way it is with a lot of past endeavors that I've done.

I'm genuinely sorry for feeling like this. This is me coming clean, and it's something which I've been thinking of for nearly a month. I was expecting a longer running time from SAB, for sure, and I love this idea to bits. I gave it my all. I love the people I've met here, and I really love my muses. Letting Sehun go would probably be my second time of letting go of such a muse I'm attached to, and it's going to be really difficult. And it would be harder to let SAB go with all the ideas and work I've placed into it. And it's really, really hard to let it go as well when I know some people are still invested in it, yet running the place has become such a burden that it's been really stressful for me, especially seeing that the activity isn't picking up and people keep leaving.

I cannot blame you or anyone in this matter. Things happen, and things are bound to come to an end, sooner or later. This might not be really clear or eloquent and I apologize. I just want to come clean with you all, and would really love to hear what you have in mind regarding the place. What I'm trying to say is that, if I was to keep this going, I cannot do it without the help and support from all of you. Again, SAB is nothing without its members and their support. Thank you for reading this, and any input, comment, and suggestion are very appreciated.

[xarcxsehun]

— Happy Birthday [ Jongin & Sehun ]

[exarcxjongin]

(/he narrows his eyes petulantly as amusement continues to unfurl across Sehun’s expression, becoming more obvious despite his features remaining unmoving and it only serves to make him more huffy; his pout remains in place when his pillow attack only draws a laugh out of Sehun and he feigns offense when the other ruffles his hair and coos at him, grumbling quietly under his breath at the coddling to cover up the mild embarrassment) It was still mean. I spent most of today disappointed and sad because of you. (/he whines, tone more teasing than actually upset; lets go of Sehun’s hair in favor of dropping his hands to his boyfriend’s hips, fingers curling against the fabric of his shirt when Sehun presses closer and puts his arms over his shoulders) you’re still older than me by nine months, so still the hyung. (/he teases back, humming thoughtfully as he considers ideas of what he wants to do now that Sehun’s home and acknowledging that it’s his birthday; nods lazily at Sehun’s suggestions) I want cake and ice cream, and lots of balloons.

[xarcxsehun]

{ `he nods, acknowledging the fact that he's indeed intended to "torture" Jongin throughout half of his birthday just to ensure that the surprise works, although it's admittedly not the most benevolent action to pick } I'm sorry? Not really, actually, but yeah. { `his stolid features and tone imply that he's indeed not really apologetic about his choice of action; he shrugs at Jongin's reply regarding his age and lets Jongin go, giving him a peck on the cheek before getting off the bed and picking Peanut up; he plops back onto the side of the bed with Peanut on his lap, fingers raking across the short fur of the puppy's as he glances at Jongin, nodding at the suggestion } Cake and ice cream it is. And lots of balloons. { `he chuckles } That sounds so... juvenile of you. But you're the king of the day so go ahead. { `he gets to his feet and places Peanut back onto the floor, fixing his own ring which wraps his right ring finger as he heads out of the bedroom } Want confetti as well? { `he asks as he walks past the threshold, tossing Jongin an amused look when he turns around }

[ctzxluhan]

2% milk for president! ❀ Han + Sehun

[ctzxluhan]

It was a relief when the word cute was said but not meant for him. Han wasn’t sure how he would have reacted otherwise. He could agree with Sehun to a certain extent. It was true that some boys did things that could be considered cute but he would never think of voicing his thoughts aloud. Sehun seemed too stoic to be able to do anything considered cute. He was nice, but his expressions were very limited from what Han had been able to witness so far. He thought the other would have made an excellent runway model. “I think you’re very handsome.” It escaped Han’s lips as if he had just told someone what time it was.

Han’s head tilted upon hearing that Sehun never had anyone to teach him how to cook and he wondered if perhaps, just like him, he had lost his mother too early or if he had simply never showed interest in learning. Han doubted it was the latter since Sehun seemed to now show interest in being taught. He didn’t want to assume anything though and didn’t want to risk bringing up a topic that might be touchy so he simply nodded. He glanced down at the mangoes in his hands and tried not to flush bright red. He had only grabbed them so he would have something to do with his hands but he rapidly returned them to the display. “I do like them, but we don’t have to buy them,” he said softly but then he hesitantly added, “though they would make a great salad.”

Social etiquette was something that was easily forgotten by Han. He had never really used it while he had lived in China, not even with Chun when he had first met him. Of course he had always shown respect to his teachers as well as the men and women who were old enough to be his grandparents but that had always been the extent of it. Here in Korea, he usually simply tackled a -sshi after the name of the person he would have just been introduced to. He never called anyone ‘hyung’ or ‘noona’ and certainly didn’t call his younger friends by using the word ‘dongsaeng’. They all had names and Han preferred to use those names rather than some polite word that, according to him, made things a lot less personal.

Still, Sehun was obviously Korean and had been raised with those rules of social etiquette so it was understandable that he wanted to know. Since it was Han who was a stranger, he had to follow etiquette so he sighed softly knowing that there was certainly going to be a shift in their current interaction once Sehun knew his age unless Sehun was older than Han. His fingers played with the hem of his left sleeve and he fidgeted as a part of him tried to hold back the grand reveal. “I’m twenty-two,” he finally mumbled, looking slightly dejected by the confession, but then he was raising both hands and joining them together. “But please, you don’t have to call me hyung or anything. Just calling me by my name is fine.” 

[xarcxsehun]

I think you’re very handsome was a short, seemingly absentminded sentence which was enough to engrave a kind of transitory yet somehow prolonged embarrassment within him, not because he was being humble, but because he was so used to the notion that he was nothing but rubbish, a lowly being; n o t h i n g. It had been how he’d lived under the shelter provided by the madman, after all—the incessant torture spilled not only from the flesh and bone which constructed the malice that was the man driven mad by his unyielding love towards the woman whom Sehun had murdered, but also from the tongue lacquered with toxic. It wasn’t the physical torment which had grown the latent monster nestling in the confines of his cranium; it was the endless vitriol spilled with ease from the man’s mouth, tone almost too nonchalant, as though he’d planned to do it for long, long decades that there had been no benefits in attempting to convey it with insistence, and maybe he indeed had planned exactly that. In result, he became a twenty year old man who was aware that he was blessed, at least appearance-wise—he knew that, had always known, since some people had let him know several times, reassuring him that it was something worth boasting—fair skin nearly unblemished save for the thin lines depicting the long years he’d passed in the pernicious jail his father had manufactured. And in result, he still couldn’t believe it, couldn’t accept it, despite the knowledge and reassurances and notions.

He only replied to it with a barely-there tug of smile, cheeks specked with dust of faint crimson to accompany the apparent discomfiture. “Thank you,” he said, voice low but at least still audible according to him. To evade any further awkwardness, he put his basket down and grabbed a plastic bag, filling it with three mangoes and dumping them into the basket before continuing with his trip, combing more aisles.

His steps were only ceased by Han’s confession regarding the question Sehun had inquired earlier, not believing that the male was older than him since he truly didn’t seem so—Sehun’s initial expectation would indubitably be the one being called hyung, assuming that Han was the younger between the two. He blankly tossed Han a discombobulated look, almost too unabashedly, and blinked in surprise when Han demanded for him to still call him by his name. Still perplexed, he simply nodded in answer, before speaking after a brief lapse, “Okay... Han.” It tasted weird on his tongue, yet he didn’t wish to aggravate the other male by adding the proper title to the short name.

Realizing that his basket had been all piled up with items and believing that he’d grabbed everything which he’d planned, he headed towards the cashier and glanced towards the other male to make sure that he hadn’t lost him. The queue was still long despite the rain outside and so striking another conversation seemed like a viable option as they waited for the line to creep, although striking a conversation was definitely flopping on the lower end of Sehun’s list of aptitudes. He tried regardless. “So, um... do you live somewhere nearby, if I may ask?”

[xarcxsehun]

— Happy Birthday [ Jongin & Sehun ]

[exarcxjongin]

(/lets out a pleased noise when Sehun kisses him back easily, lips fitting against his perfectly as he gives up the control and lets Jongin dominate; his hand slides up into his hair, fingers tangling in his blond locks and curling strands around his fingers as Sehun bites at his lower lip, drawing a quiet gasp out of him; watches Sehun’s lips twitch, forming a small smile when he pulls away and smiles back, knowing how much he’s actually trying to convey despite it not looking like much; quirks a brow when Sehun kneels on the bed and drapes his arms around his shoulders, his words reaching Jongin’s ears and he can’t help but pout, his expression a little exaggerated when he notices the amused mischief not so subtly spreading across his face and lacing his tone) you are so mean, I can’t believe you did that on purpose. (/he can’t keep the whine out of his tone as he grasps one of the pillows he’s leaning against and swats Sehun with it, a quiet huff escaping as he looks up at him, trying for annoyed and failing because he can’t really be mad when his boyfriend got him such a nice gift and went through the effort to surprise him with said gift) I thought you genuinely forgot…

[xarcxsehun]

{ `the mirth which has bled across his facial features, palpable albeit everything remaining inert, is only heightened by the way Jongin chirrups out childishly; he cannot help but let a terse chuckle escape his lips when Jongin smacks him with the nearest pillow that he can grab, followed by his own hand travelling upward to ruffle Jongin's dark strands and cooing } I can't believe I did that on purpose either... but at least you were surprised and that's all that matters. { `he shrugs, draping his arms back onto the shoulders and intertwining his own fingers behind Jongin's head } How old are you, now? Twen...ty? We're of the same age for a while now, so maybe you can stop calling me hyung. { `he teases again, relishing in how effortless it is sometimes for him to make Jongin sulk, or at least, feign sulking; he narrows the gap between them and wraps his arms around Jongin's shoulders } So, what now? Do you want to celebrate it with cakes and candles? Balloons? We can grab some from the nearest store.

[xarcxsehun]

— Tracker [ 15.01.14 ]

Owing.

Jia — reply

Jongin — AU drabble [spirited away]

Jongin — reply

Junhong — reply

Kris — reply

Luhan — reply [H]

Minah — reply

Waiting.

Bom — reply

Chanyeol — AU drabble [high school musical]

Gackt — reply

Jieun — reply

Jongin — AU drabble [harry potter]

Jongin — reply [H]

Jongin — reply

Luhan — reply

Myungsoo — reply

Reina — reply

Sumin — reply

Suga — reply

Youngjae — reply

Plotting.

Chanyeol

Daehyun

Minki

Minseok

Taemin

I hopefully didn’t miss anyone, but if I did please feel free to poke me with a stick. If anyone’s interested, Sehun has a relationship page here and unclaimed starters here. I also have aim and skype as listed on the member list. Thank you.

[xarcxsehun]

— Happy Birthday [ Jongin & Sehun ]

[exarcxjongin]

 (/heaves out a sigh as he settles back against the pillows, comforter thrown haphazardly across his hips as he makes himself comfortable; his lips quirk into a small smile, amusement masking the poorly hidden disappointment as he watches Peanut rustle atop the comforter, trying to burrow his face into the fabric and not succeeding; he chuckles as he reaches out to pet Peanut gently, fingers smoothing over his head and playing with his triangular ears, flattening them and letting them flick back into place; his smile widens just a bit when the puppy calms and chooses to lay on his legs, effectively keeping him in place and preventing him from moving too much) you are the most spoiled dog ever. (/picks up his phone from the bedside table for the hundredth time and gnaws on his lip as he lights up the screen, hopeful that he’ll finally see a new message or call from Sehun and feeling the disappointment churn in his belly when there’s nothing of the sort, hurt seeping into his expression as the smile falls, his voice quiet as he tosses his phone onto the mattress and looks back at Peanut) I think your daddy forgot my birthday. (/watches Peanut for a moment longer, eyeing the way he has his head resting on his paws and eyes darting to and from Jongin, ears twitching at the sound of Jongin’s voice and perking at the sound of the front door opening; looks up, trying to keep his expression as neutral as possible when Peanut starts barking at the door and Sehun appears in the doorway; tilts his head curiously when he notices the faint hints of pink on his cheeks and almost brushes the warmth coloring Sehun’s cheeks off as wind chill from having just come in from outside, but refrains when the elder shuffles over to the bed, murmuring a few awkward words; looks up at him in surprise when Sehun doesn’t finish, simply snatches up his hand and soundlessly sliding a shiny platinum ring onto his finger; flushes with a mix of embarrassment from prematurely assuming Sehun had completely forgotten about his birthday and happiness when a light kiss is pressed to his lips, followed by the words he’s been waiting to hear all day; grins unabashedly as he examines the ring, smoothing his fingers over it as he admires the way it contrasts with his skin and how it fits perfectly; curls his fingers around the nape of Sehun’s neck and pulls him down for another kiss, this one lingering and more substantial than the shy one he initially received and hums pleasantly against his lips) I love it, thank you.

[xarcxsehun]

{ `at least with the ring apparently fits well in his boyfriend's finger, his anxiety has receded and he slowly regains his composure as he presses his lips against Jongin briefly; Jongin's answer to that--how he curls his fingers around the nape of Sehun's neck and pulls Sehun for another and more passionate liplocking--is rather expected and he lets Jongin dominate the kiss this time, surrendering the control to the birthday boy; he gasps against the kiss, his own lips molding themselves conveniently against the contours of Jongin's lips, parting his own lips to bite at Jongin's lower lip and tugging at it curtly before retracting himself, kneeling on the side of the bed and resting his arms on Jongin's shoulders in an indolent manner } You're welcome. { `he tries curling a smile, which probably doesn't convey as much as he'd like but it's a smile regardless and he's certain that Jongin will understand } Did it work? Did you think I forgot? { `mischief glimmers both in his tone and across his countenance, teasing }

[xarcxsehun]

— Interwoven [ Bom & Sehun ]

Typically, he wouldn’t find himself there—not in the bar where it was always redolent of his rudimentary livelihood, the scent thick and almost nostalgic even when his last shift had only ended in the morning of the previous day. At least this one was slightly quainter than the atmosphere he was usually surrounded with—the absence of people’s laughter over casino tables and the sounds of rolling machines and ricocheting dices was flagrant, almost too flagrant. It was almost as though the tintinnabulation crafted by the glassware and the clamor produced by the crowd interspersed across the place he was currently in could easily be overlooked, and silence drenched the place. It was odd how he’d absentmindedly commenced connecting his job with the aspect which he mostly had never touched instead of the element which had captivated him to begin with—the swirls of colors in the lean glasses and the tricks which the bartenders performed with ease from behind the bar.

Maybe it was because that was what he’d been executing himself, so that the charm had worn off for he knew exactly how the mechanism had gone. Whereas with the gambling machinery, he was completely at loss. It was as if the disparity between this bar and the one he perpetually squandered his youth in was truly obvious when it was only a difference of the setting and target market.

Either way, his purpose of being there was never the same with that of most people’s. Sitting on the countertop was his normal compulsion, without a pinch of alcohol in it since even an infinitesimal amount of the substance was enough to send him sprawled on the floor—and maybe making his boyfriend worry wasn’t quite a good option to choose. The caprice which delivered him to that very stool was still discombobulating at best, but maybe ennui was what had spurred it, and so he remained glued to the seat since he didn’t have anything else to do either. People watching wasn’t a bad pastime, after all, but spending time on it for too long did start gnawing on him, so he requested for paper napkins and a pen from the bartender which had been loitering around due to the lack of duties.

The low number of visitors made is easy for him to pick his “target”, and it was a woman with a voluptuous body. He swore it wasn’t the main attraction, to be honest, although that surely contributed to his decision apart from the close proximity that they were in. With the crepuscular lightings deluging his sight, it was difficult to try and capture the features of those who were sitting far from him, but it was also the fascinating aura which she exuded. His fingers didn’t wait for long until they wrapped themselves around the pen and started sketching lines on the frail materials, slowly forming her stature before filling in the vague details of her face. He always liked leaving his objects indistinct when it came to faces, just to let his imagination roam free, and so as he was done with the outline he was immersed in his own world of completing the sketch’s morsels.

He was about to ensure that his sketch had been chiseled well according to the woman’s curvatures when he noticed that she was no longer there. Raising his eyebrows, he returned his focus to his nearly finished piece, only to hear a voice from right behind him.

[sushisaranghae]

[xarcxsehun]

— Happy Birthday [ Jongin & Sehun ]

{ `he hesitates as he opens the door of their apartment, his heart sending the resolute and familiar thud, thud, thud against his ribcage that his steps falter again; but there's no use of vacillating now, with his gift already sitting in the depth of his jeans' pocket--there's no wrapping because he's really not that cheesy yet, although what's currently lying in the confines of the fabric has already spoken of the degree of his cheesiness; he swallows, hoping that Jongin hasn't suspected his intention at all--after all, he's ignored Jongin's birthday throughout the night and morning, ensuring that Jongin would think he'd forgotten that today is anything of significance at all; stepping into the abode, he takes off his shoes and carefully pads across the wooden floor, seeking Jongin; it's not difficult to locate the other male for where there's Peanut, there's always Peanut's mother, and so with the telltale barking coming from the bedroom, Sehun immediately makes his way towards the room; he swallows the lump in his throat as he opens the door and walks in, cheeks already tinted with heat although they were just exposed to the wintry weather outside; he approaches Jongin, hands still buried deep in his pockets } So uh... { `he begins, before quickly taking Jongin's hand without continuing his sentence, and slipping the platinum ring which he's purchased as a couple into Jongin's right ring finger, praying to the non-existent deity that it would fit since he's gambled the size; his years of measuring the weapon diameter actually didn't fail him, and he probably missed less than a millimeter yet the ring actually fits nicely; ignoring the warmth which colors his cheeks, he clears his throat awkwardly and presses a chaste kiss on his boyfriend's lips } Yeah, happy birthday.

[arcxreina-deactivated20140416]

Vocal Concoctions || Reina & Sehun

[arcxreina-deactivated20140416]

“When I’m loud I can empathize,” Reina states as she rests her cheek on her entwined fingers and gazes to the side, not focusing her eyes on anything in particular. She doesn’t feel the need to elaborate for the other’s understanding. He’s had enough crossover shifts with her to see her at work, with that sunny jovial smile that lights up her jet nut eyes and the silvery tone she uses to bind people to her and to make them leave all the same. It would be an insult to his intelligence to assume he couldn’t correlate that she’s unnaturally different between the two elapsing phases.

“It’s like reading a novel. Sometimes you love it. You remember it. Sometimes you hate it. But you have to finish Then you have to analyze it,” she states in her sotto voce voice. That was the simplest and easiest analogy she could think up on the spot as some alcohol streamed through her vein. Of course, there were definitely details and fine prints she was leaving out through the analogy but that was the essence of everything.

“Now though, it’s like I hear nothing,” she says with a sigh as she retracts a bit from the bar and turns her stool so that she can gaze a bit around her for anything she could consider remotely interesting. Finding none she turns back to face him. “Or, I feel nothing. Interesting maybe but not emotionally connecting.” Taking the rest of her drink, she finishes it in one gulp, feeling the small fire at the back of her throat as she settles the glass delicately down.

“If they’re drunk, they don’t notice,” Reina muses thoughtfully afterwards, waiting for the heat to dissipate from inside her. She’s never taken bartending lessons before nor has she ever filled in a role for a missing bartender, since mixology was no skill she possessed, but it seemed almost like a stereotype for people to spill their melancholic woes to a bartender as they drown themselves in the alcohol. She’s sure Sehun’s met his fair share of those kind of people; like the one before for example. “A nod is the most empathetic thing for them.”

[xarcxsehun]

He nodded at her simple statement, the gesture almost seeming like something of a habit, almost instinctive, when it was definitely the first time that he’d heard of her view pertaining to that topic. But he truly understood, comprehending the nature of her work as it was the sight he was presented with every time he stood behind the bar, observing as those escorts wore the best of their affable smiles, hoping that their charm would be able to coax more means to drip from those satin-lined pockets. Perhaps what she meant by loud was when she had to pretend that she was the felicity which she was donning during her shift, the embodiment of an enrapturing woman with an eternal tug of lips, words dancing in a graceful manner from her lies-lacquered lips. He hoped that his simple gesture, as nonchalance as it might convey due to this inability which had befallen his facial muscles, was enough to imply that he could at least imagine what it was like to be in her shoes.

After all, when one serves a purpose in this kind of life, it doesn’t take a lot to perceive others’ roles despite never filling such positions themselves. Or at least, that was how Sehun felt. It was impossible to live in such a path without being fraudulent and everyone around him was concocted of fabricated facades in their own ways. He was fictitious in his own way, and maybe nodding without actually sympathizing was a form of that counterfeit. As how she had lay it out, it was true that he sometimes also analyzed the stories, dissecting them like interesting plots as he listened thoroughly, treating one’s misfortune as a source of entertainment. It wasn’t real sympathy, for sure. They were all faking it, faking faking faking the way her lips curled into another convincing beam and he sported his dull innocence as he crafted drinks, pretending to not know anything that was going on with the underground business when someone inquired, even when he was actually drowning in the maelstrom, inevitably being a crux of the business itself.

“Yeah, nodding is easy,” he agreed as he grabbed a fresh glass filled with ice cubes, pouring some drink for her. “I always nod whenever—regardless whether or not I’m actually listening or not. They just... need someone to hear anyway. Sometimes I feel like my presence doesn’t matter. It’s more like so that they don’t feel like a lunatic, complaining with no one’s around. But it doesn’t matter, the presence—the effect, the catharsis is still the same whether I’m there or not.” He realized that he’d started speaking a lot, indulging in the passing time as he felt more comfortable talking more every time moments had escaped him; odd, but he found more solace as the person whom he was conversing with stayed longer, spent more time with him, although it essentially didn’t alter any blatant attributes of the person’s which should contribute to the state of comfort.

[syuuuuuuuugaaaaaa-deactivated20]

Christmas Shopping ↬ { Sehun + Suga }

Christmas. It’s never been something he was very fond of, seeing all the trees decorated with little ornaments that made Suga’s eyes hurts and seeing the little children witht heir parents, hand in hand, smiles on their face as they walk through the snowy winter road. Suga never really have been able to properly experience the Christmas atmosphere within his family. His dad being an overprotective father of his only son, he gets nothing but books to read and plastic, cheap toys to play with. When he finishes opening his presents, his father would stumble out of their house and leave the little boy alone.

Now, though, it’s different. He’s independent now, out of his father’s reach and the world is playing in the palms of his hands. New snow have just fallen and maybe, today, he should buy himself some presents while they’re still on sale. But he realised too late how bad of an idea this was. The people around him came around to shop with their partners, their arms around one another and some boys being forced to carry the excessive bags that their girlfriends have bought. Friends went with their other friends, families could be seen crowding the shops, little children in their hands.

He realised at that moment that he is alone.

Despite his business and the many customers he have met this past few years, none of them have really kept in touch with him. Besides, they don’t deserve to befriend a sadist who’s only hobby is to ruin other people’s lives. Never. The only friends he remembers creating were the online ones, some school friends that stuck around. Note the word, stuck. They’ve come and left, just like the days that pass by.

Suga snapped out of whatever trance he was in and curiously walked into a shop, ones with the words “50% OFF” plastered all over their windows, It’s not like he is saving money or anything, he just wanted to see the kind of shitty clothes that the shop sells. Browsing through the brightly coloured sweater and the ridiculously short shorts sold for the girls (He wonders for a moment, why are they selling shorts in the middle of winter?) and the bright coloured skinny jeans that he sees idols wear on TV before he finally stumbled upon the sweater section. Each horrible designs lined up one after another, he almost cried because of how ridiculously horrific they were.

Taking one out, he examined the pattern embedded on to it, the soft wool texture and the warmth of the sweater. He wondered what it feels like to receive such a present on a cold winter day like this. 

[xarcxsehun]

He rubbed his hands against each other for the umpteenth time that day, and maybe it would scrub his skin raw with the lack of humidity in the stern winter air, but that was the least of his concern with the task at hand still unfulfilled. It was already so near to Christmas day, and people had started looking all hurried, scurrying into the row of shops for the last minute Christmas shopping and hoping that all the discounted items hadn’t vanished from sight. That was fortunately not anything of his worry considering that his choice of present wasn’t something which people would usually resort to—after all, Christmas was about everything good; nicely wrapped presents in shiny papers and scintillating ribbons, the embodiment of extravagance due to the festivity mood of the celebration. Perhaps only those who haplessly had not enough wherewithals to afford anything fancier, or, in Sehun’s case, indulged in the idea of immature jokes, would be venturing out in the city to find an ugly sweater for their loved ones.

He had no idea where the idea had initially sprung out from, for it had been more of a caprice than anything else. He found it risible to simply entertain that mischievous nature of his, which normally remained buried due to the dysfunctional facial muscles of his. Maybe it wouldn’t work that well seeing that Jongin wasn’t exactly one to expect expensive gifts from him, for none of them had really considered spending a good fortune on each other as a form of conveyance for their feelings, so Jongin possibly wouldn’t be that crestfallen. But he believed that it was worth the try, just to see Jongin’s face contorted into an expression of disgust upon seeing what he got under the Christmas tree.

However, finding a sweater he deemed really grotesque wasn’t a walk in the park, since every sweater seemed decent now that he was on an adventure to seek the ugliest one. It had been days since his endeavor had commenced, but nothing tickled his interests yet, and so he continued his search. His latest destination would be a store with glaring 50% sale stickers plastered on the full-length windows, where the clothing items which cheapest materials were sold. It was like a department store, and he surely had never entered the establishment before—mainly because he wasn’t much of a shopper, his clothes mostly worn and faded. But even if he relished in the concept of squandering his hard-earned cash on fashion, he probably wouldn’t have visited this place either, seeing that it proffered a myriad of replicas coming straight from TV; those horrible designs worn in order to attract excessive attention, donned by those K-Pop performers. Really, he would rather not imbibe milk for two consecutive days (which was a really huge sacrifice on his part) than having to wear those extremely tight lime-colored skinny jeans. To say that that type of fashion was an inhuman catastrophe would be an understatement of the century.

But that issue was definitely not something which he should put on the forefront of his mind—whether or not those idols became infertile due to the amount of their nuts being pressed was none of his business. Walking past the shudder-inducing segment of the store, he finally reached the sweater section, where there was no one but another male, observing a fairly hideous knitted sweater. Upon a closer inspection, he realized that the face was at the very least familiar, and so he decided to at least bid the other male a greeting. “Su... ga?” he tentatively called, knowing that there was 95% chance of his getting the right person, but it was easy for the 5% of apprehension sprouting from any possible gaffe to reign in Sehun as he had never possessed a good amount of confidence to be entirely sure of any social situation.

[arcxjinyoung]

╠ From Friend to Friend ╣ Myungsoo & Sehun

[arcxjinyoung]

To Myungsoo, Sehun had never been that of a close friend rather that of an infrequent acquaintance. Yet, as he stood amongst the crowds face to face with his colleague it was suddenly pleasant to be in the company of a familiar face. Though he had usually found it easy to talk to people throughout his childhood and even into his adult years, the shallowness of Sehun’s reply had stifled any sort of easy conversation starter on Myungsoo’s behalf; although if put in the same situation he imagined that he, too, would be rather bland in any sort of answer he would probably not wish to give. For a moment the two of them stood there, a brief moment at that, as he wondered why he had gone over to him in the first circumstance. He rolled the sleeve of his jacket checking his watch in attempt to make him look the slightest bit busy. He noticed it was still quite early on in the day, far to early for anyone to be leaving work like Sehun seemed to be doing, he guessed that he’d been into one of the early Intel meetings, something that Myungsoo hated greatly; he then understood Sehun’s lack of thrilling communication. “Leaving the job so early?” He smirked whilst asking the question, not out of humour, out of habit he guessed but he was genuinely interested as to why the other boy was walking in the opposite direction compared to everyone else. Though he attempted to communicate with his acquaintance he felt as though his effort was futile, and it was clear the Sehun was in a rush. "You look like you’re in a rush, I’ll let you get of," Myungsoo smiled, bowing his head towards his associate in a friendly manner before continuing on his babbling "I have to head of to University for a while anyway!" The weight of an overdue essay was hanging in his pocket, he could hardly fair to have another late essay and cause another argument between his professor and himself. Conflicts were unnecessary to Myungsoo. "I’ll see you round sometime, Sehun-ah!" he waved and turned his back on Sehun, walking back in the direction he had walked down mere minutes ago. Something stopped him, a clutch on his coat as he went to let his friend get on with his duties.

[xarcxsehun]

The expected discomfiture presented itself clearly across Myungsoo’s facial features, and probably Sehun’s own countenance shifted, mirroring that of Myungsoo’s. Perhaps it was because of what seemingly like a half-hearted smile which his lips had curled although he didn’t mean the expressed insincerity—but it wasn’t like he could go about and explain to everyone that his past trauma as a child had carved such an idiosyncratic impact on his facial muscles. Not everyone would understand either, given the diminutive nature of this instance compared to the rest of the population, being a part of minority for there were millions and millions of different effects crafted by the years of abuse inflicted from parents to their children. Sehun, for one, had a fair share of it, and the consequences remained up until that day, leaving him to never succeed at conveying his emotions and possessing only a smidgen of confidence in him—but at least the latter had been getting better over the past few years.

The awkwardness was only amplified when none of them really said something, and he caught Myungsoo checking his watch, as though being chased after by the limitation of time. Time is money, they all knew that, and maybe the other male had a schedule that differed from his. Albeit having been a part of the organization for a fair dollop of time, he couldn’t really tell how other departments worked (save for the killing agents, but that was another matter entirely and their job had never been defined by a solid routine). Maybe the Intel work required Myungsoo to attend rosters at the headquarters—who knew, for he barely stepped into the headquarters unless necessary and his role revolved around the manufacturing establishments more. “Yeah, I’m done,” he notified Myungsoo. “I attended a meeting with... uh... a client.” He spilled the honesty although he didn’t elaborate further. He normally would like to keep his job as a weapon designer a secret, never exposing that fragment of his involvement in Arcanum even when it came to fellow members, but he was certain that as an intel body Myungsoo and some others had probably derived their own conclusions. It wasn't like a bartender could often be found nearby the weapon manufacturing vicinity, so they would've known.

He was slightly taken aback when Myungsoo told him that he looked like he was in a hurry all of a sudden—although he was possibly indeed in a hurry to grab a cup of coffee before he collapsed on the sidewalk. But upon the mention of university, his brain cogs turned and reminded him of something significant pertaining to that. Before he could react to that, however, Myungsoo had already started dashing towards another direction, and Sehun had already stopped him before his mind had the chance to cogitate on his choices. “Myungsoo!” he called, and caught up with the other male’s steps. He was tentative at first, but then decided that perhaps asking Myungsoo for that small favor wouldn’t be disadvantageous at all. “Would you, um, mind if I go with you? I’m... kind of interested in applying to a university.”

[ohxing]

[scrxyukwon]

Curiosity Killed The Cat — Sehun & Yukwon

[scrxyukwon]

Watching as the amber liquid swirled around in his glass as he willed it to, Yukwon finally nodded. “I wouldn’t say that. They do have enough knowledge of certain things,” he said, with a shrug. Maybe this bartender really had no idea of what he was talking about. It didn’t matter, he could go to a desiger with Scorpio; maybe they would know something. It was already dangerous enough for him to be talking about his intention so openly. With a glance around to see that most of the people surrounding him were drunk, he glanced back at the guards situated around the room. “Maybe not of everything, but they do know certain things other people don’t.”

It was time for him to leave. He couldn’t risk standing around any longer openly talking about weapon dealing. The idea of being caught by Arcanum bodyguards who could easily over power him made him feel uncomfortable; even more so since he had left his gun at home. Bringing guns into Arcanum territory only asked for trouble and people were searched on random upon entering or leaving the premises. “Anyway, thanks for your time. I’d best be leaving.”

Finishing the rest of his beer, he set the empty glass down on the table and smiled at Sehun, giving him a slight nod of his head before he turned around to head for the exit. When he passed the guards quietly and exited the building altogether, he let out a breath he hadn’t realise he’d been holding, fishing for his car keys in his pocket. The rush of cold air was welcoming as he continued to walk to his car, his mind still occupied with the weapon.

Maybe he wouldn’t find out who the maker was after all, but the sun rose and fell at the beginning and end of everyday and he was in no rush. In time he’d find out who its owner was, but for now he’d settle with not knowing.

[xarcxsehun]

BUT THIS SEHUN DOESN'T HAVE ANY LISP SO YE