I Am Confusion

Look, I dunno how this works. We’re just trying this out, pushing the buttons until Things happen, and hopefully not breaking anything permanently

[exasperatedoctopus]

This is my main blog, I will post original thoughts and nonsense only. If, for some reason, you crave to see what I reblog and my attached witticisms that’s over here: @octoreblog

Here’s the tag schéma:

Baffled Octo = Thoughts on various media and life things. I do not promise the quality of them only that they are mine

Octo fic recs = If I read a fic and wanna find it later for re-reading purposes

Octo crafts = I do various craft stuff, embroidery, cross stitch, crochet, etc. Pics and maybe design patterns one day will be here

French Trek = I’m watching the various Star treks in French. Sometimes I have language thoughts. Sometimes I make memes. It’s a tossup

[exasperatedoctopus]

Unhinged decision to make Kevin “I’ll Take You Home Again, Kathleen” Riley the other survivor or Tarsus IV. Can you imagine being this man. You and your captain both survive the same horrific event as children. Then, as generally unaffiliated adults you hijack his ship and caterwaul at the entire crew for hours, nearly causing the deaths of everyone aboard. THEN, after somehow surviving the mortification of the Irish Kings incident, you nearly murder the guy who was responsible for the aforementioned horrific event because said captain on purpose brought him on the ship to identify him and (perhaps) exact vengeance. He’s gotta have the weirdest relationship with Kirk ever.

[exasperatedoctopus]

You know, sometimes Kirk is such a mean little man. Usually mid-crisis which, fair, I too would become a mean little man if I had to deal with what he did every episode. Tragically, I feel we ignore his mean little man capacity when we ought to let it fly free. #LetKirkBeABitch2k26

[thecellblockscorch]

This is a quote from week 257b of the Cellblock Scorch: written and recorded by Bones! Bones has recently taken to committing crime! You see they're slowly transmogrifying into a more funny version of the Joker, known as the Jester. You can watch this transformation unfold @bonesdontmelt

This episode is out now and available wherever you listen to podcasts!

The Cellblock Scorch Writing Contest | Listen Free on Castbox.

A weekly short-story writing contest among a group of friends that started in 2018 and has continued unstopped since then. In this podcast t

[bonesdontmelt]

Okay hold on rude @thecellblockscorch you can't go airing my laundry like this The Man is always watching

[exasperatedoctopus]

The people need to know, this is a public service

[exasperatedoctopus]

I’ve invented something I call the Tiger Threshold: if whatever you are putting in your zoo for public viewing can do more damage than your average tiger upon its inevitable escape, do NOT put it in your zoo. Yes I’ve been watching Jurassic Park recently, why do you ask

[exasperatedoctopus]

If a tiger gets out, you could probably duck into a car and be ok. If a T Rex gets out, by Jurassic park rules it’ll rip your car to bits to eat you. Doesn’t pass the Tiger Threshold

[exasperatedoctopus]

Compsognathus? Similar to releasing a murderous chicken upon the populace. If it’s just one I give you pretty good odds on punting the little sucker and escaping unharmed. Passes the Tiger Threshold, put it in the zoo.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Now, if a Tiger gets out you’ve only gotta deal with the front pointy bits. If a Stegosaurus decides it’s had enough and bashes free of its enclosure, have fun getting thagomized into jelly and also trampled Does not pass the Tiger Threshold, I will not visit your zoo

[exasperatedoctopus]

Tigers, as far am I am aware, do not fly. They also cannot fit an entire human in their mouth and swallow them whole. Quetzalcotalus fails on both counts. If you put this in your zoo I am going to frame you for tax fraud and get all your assets frozen.

[exasperatedoctopus]

You may notice that some animals currently in zoos may also fail to pass the Tiger Threshold. A car will not save you from a sufficiently enraged elephant, but I’m giving them a pass because they are, generally speaking, very polite. Hippos are on thin ice, they can bite crocodiles in half and only hold hatred in their hearts.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Due to their opposable thumbs, any ape larger than I automatically does not pass the Tiger Threshold. If you can operate a circular door handle and also pick up the average human with one arm you are not to be underestimated.

[exasperatedoctopus]

I do believe velociraptors pass the Tiger theshold, as they are sort of the same size and share the same carnivorous function. The only reason they shouldn’t be in your zoo is if they can talk like a parrot and lure people close enough to their enclosure to snatch. I bet they could do it. I fully believe velociraptors are capable of mimicking human speech, if bored enough.

[exasperatedoctopus]

I’ve invented something I call the Tiger Threshold: if whatever you are putting in your zoo for public viewing can do more damage than your average tiger upon its inevitable escape, do NOT put it in your zoo. Yes I’ve been watching Jurassic Park recently, why do you ask

[exasperatedoctopus]

If a tiger gets out, you could probably duck into a car and be ok. If a T Rex gets out, by Jurassic park rules it’ll rip your car to bits to eat you. Doesn’t pass the Tiger Threshold

[exasperatedoctopus]

Compsognathus? Similar to releasing a murderous chicken upon the populace. If it’s just one I give you pretty good odds on punting the little sucker and escaping unharmed. Passes the Tiger Threshold, put it in the zoo.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Now, if a Tiger gets out you’ve only gotta deal with the front pointy bits. If a Stegosaurus decides it’s had enough and bashes free of its enclosure, have fun getting thagomized into jelly and also trampled Does not pass the Tiger Threshold, I will not visit your zoo

[exasperatedoctopus]

Tigers, as far am I am aware, do not fly. They also cannot fit an entire human in their mouth and swallow them whole. Quetzalcotalus fails on both counts. If you put this in your zoo I am going to frame you for tax fraud and get all your assets frozen.

[exasperatedoctopus]

You may notice that some animals currently in zoos may also fail to pass the Tiger Threshold. A car will not save you from a sufficiently enraged elephant, but I’m giving them a pass because they are, generally speaking, very polite. Hippos are on thin ice, they can bite crocodiles in half and only hold hatred in their hearts.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Due to their opposable thumbs, any ape larger than I automatically does not pass the Tiger Threshold. If you can operate a circular door handle and also pick up the average human with one arm you are not to be underestimated.

[exasperatedoctopus]

I’ve invented something I call the Tiger Threshold: if whatever you are putting in your zoo for public viewing can do more damage than your average tiger upon its inevitable escape, do NOT put it in your zoo. Yes I’ve been watching Jurassic Park recently, why do you ask

[exasperatedoctopus]

If a tiger gets out, you could probably duck into a car and be ok. If a T Rex gets out, by Jurassic park rules it’ll rip your car to bits to eat you. Doesn’t pass the Tiger Threshold

[exasperatedoctopus]

Compsognathus? Similar to releasing a murderous chicken upon the populace. If it’s just one I give you pretty good odds on punting the little sucker and escaping unharmed. Passes the Tiger Threshold, put it in the zoo.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Now, if a Tiger gets out you’ve only gotta deal with the front pointy bits. If a Stegosaurus decides it’s had enough and bashes free of its enclosure, have fun getting thagomized into jelly and also trampled Does not pass the Tiger Threshold, I will not visit your zoo

[exasperatedoctopus]

Tigers, as far am I am aware, do not fly. They also cannot fit an entire human in their mouth and swallow them whole. Quetzalcotalus fails on both counts. If you put this in your zoo I am going to frame you for tax fraud and get all your assets frozen.

[exasperatedoctopus]

You may notice that some animals currently in zoos may also fail to pass the Tiger Threshold. A car will not save you from a sufficiently enraged elephant, but I’m giving them a pass because they are, generally speaking, very polite. Hippos are on thin ice, they can bite crocodiles in half and only hold hatred in their hearts.

[exasperatedoctopus]

I’ve invented something I call the Tiger Threshold: if whatever you are putting in your zoo for public viewing can do more damage than your average tiger upon its inevitable escape, do NOT put it in your zoo. Yes I’ve been watching Jurassic Park recently, why do you ask

[exasperatedoctopus]

If a tiger gets out, you could probably duck into a car and be ok. If a T Rex gets out, by Jurassic park rules it’ll rip your car to bits to eat you. Doesn’t pass the Tiger Threshold

[exasperatedoctopus]

Compsognathus? Similar to releasing a murderous chicken upon the populace. If it’s just one I give you pretty good odds on punting the little sucker and escaping unharmed. Passes the Tiger Threshold, put it in the zoo.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Now, if a Tiger gets out you’ve only gotta deal with the front pointy bits. If a Stegosaurus decides it’s had enough and bashes free of its enclosure, have fun getting thagomized into jelly and also trampled Does not pass the Tiger Threshold, I will not visit your zoo

[exasperatedoctopus]

Tigers, as far am I am aware, do not fly. They also cannot fit an entire human in their mouth and swallow them whole. Quetzalcotalus fails on both counts. If you put this in your zoo I am going to frame you for tax fraud and get all your assets frozen.

[exasperatedoctopus]

I’ve invented something I call the Tiger Threshold: if whatever you are putting in your zoo for public viewing can do more damage than your average tiger upon its inevitable escape, do NOT put it in your zoo. Yes I’ve been watching Jurassic Park recently, why do you ask

[exasperatedoctopus]

If a tiger gets out, you could probably duck into a car and be ok. If a T Rex gets out, by Jurassic park rules it’ll rip your car to bits to eat you. Doesn’t pass the Tiger Threshold

[exasperatedoctopus]

Compsognathus? Similar to releasing a murderous chicken upon the populace. If it’s just one I give you pretty good odds on punting the little sucker and escaping unharmed. Passes the Tiger Threshold, put it in the zoo.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Now, if a Tiger gets out you’ve only gotta deal with the front pointy bits. If a Stegosaurus decides it’s had enough and bashes free of its enclosure, have fun getting thagomized into jelly and also trampled Does not pass the Tiger Threshold, I will not visit your zoo

[exasperatedoctopus]

I’ve invented something I call the Tiger Threshold: if whatever you are putting in your zoo for public viewing can do more damage than your average tiger upon its inevitable escape, do NOT put it in your zoo. Yes I’ve been watching Jurassic Park recently, why do you ask

[exasperatedoctopus]

If a tiger gets out, you could probably duck into a car and be ok. If a T Rex gets out, by Jurassic park rules it’ll rip your car to bits to eat you. Doesn’t pass the Tiger Threshold

[exasperatedoctopus]

Compsognathus? Similar to releasing a murderous chicken upon the populace. If it’s just one I give you pretty good odds on punting the little sucker and escaping unharmed. Passes the Tiger Threshold, put it in the zoo.

[exasperatedoctopus]

I’ve invented something I call the Tiger Threshold: if whatever you are putting in your zoo for public viewing can do more damage than your average tiger upon its inevitable escape, do NOT put it in your zoo. Yes I’ve been watching Jurassic Park recently, why do you ask

[exasperatedoctopus]

If a tiger gets out, you could probably duck into a car and be ok. If a T Rex gets out, by Jurassic park rules it’ll rip your car to bits to eat you. Doesn’t pass the Tiger Threshold

[exasperatedoctopus]

I’ve invented something I call the Tiger Threshold: if whatever you are putting in your zoo for public viewing can do more damage than your average tiger upon its inevitable escape, do NOT put it in your zoo. Yes I’ve been watching Jurassic Park recently, why do you ask

[exasperatedoctopus]

Blackwork Millenium Puzzle + metallic gold thread, because I apparently love to cause myself as many problems as possible when trying out something new

[exasperatedoctopus]

Has anyone done the math on how far Harry Kim has travelled in his life? That man is being flung across time space every other episode, I swear. If voyager had that sort of luck they coulda been doing laps around the whole galaxy by episode 8.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Back on my BS with Voyager, since paramount plus still won’t give me the rest of DS9. Neelix’s voice is even more piercing when he speaks French, the poor guy.

[exasperatedoctopus]

Me when an unsuspecting friend asks what the hell is happening with the vocab after they run into transformers fic for the first time:

[fynn-the-trans-elf-deactivated2]

Tag game!!!!

Do this picrew and make urself! (to the best of your ability. And maybe with some extra funsies stuff :3)

@a-dam-tris-prior-fan @i-put-the-hyper-in-hyperfixated @queensnowlake-wof @raynilikescats @justcallmedom31 @algae122 @leeotard + open tags :)

[rabbitmotifs]

tagged by @rhymingteelookatme to do this, ty <3

lightly (gently) tagging @socratesgirl @gnawdar @lesbianmarrow @corvids-corner @fightclubgayporn @webandofbuggered @all-seeing-ifer @marigoldbaker @average-acorn

[average-acorn]

I had forgot about this for a sec thank you for the tag holly!!

"what is that flag situation" IDONTKNOWW I like men in theory but haven't enjoyed talking to one since middle school let me die

Tagging with no pressure: @mean-lesbians @collectoroflovelythings @antigonefunnky @barrioghost @jack-fruit @jackknife-roach @chamsou-sabah @therealchickenjoe @thereweresunflowers @jupitersparx @iotaphora

[barrioghost]

it’s the day before wash day so the hair is up

anyways i think my moots have all either done this or been tagged except @crickets-lovely-place

[crickets-lovely-place]

Never actually done this before but what @barrioghost asks, they will get. I spent wayyyyy too long on this lmao,,,but lesbian flag tie-dye!!!!! INCREDIBLE.

I'll taggg @balladoftime @exasperatedoctopus annnnnnd @probablytoooldforthis

[exasperatedoctopus]

Just for you, @crickets-lovely-place, I will play the tumblr game:

Now to inflict this on others that I love: @bonesdontmelt @fivestyxseven @revrising

Congrats, you’ve been pinged