EVERYTHING PASSES.

dazai osamu of bungou stray dogs. penned by saku.

[kurbisse-blog]

       ❝  THEY SAY

                                            that the deepest of all secrets                                              is found in the darkest of places.

   UNFORTUNATELY,

                                            this isn’t the darkest of places,                                             nor is this the deepest of all secrets.

[excosanostra]

lowkey wanna edit my sorey icons and make a blog for him .. 

[rcshomon-archive-deactivated201]

                 ok first off what the hell how do this many of u like my akutagawa––

but in all seriousness, im so so glad that this many of you follow me and like my portrayal… it makes me so happy that you all follow me and enjoy my blog, i could literally gush about it for days but i wont waste your time like that––

anywho, here are some blogs that i want to give some recognition to!

@welkerose / @godhated / @bloodtaintcd / @pnigike, @kaikanii, @exdazai, @excosanostra, @corrruptionisms, @chxuya, @canisaevus, @ari-rivaille-ackerman, @astroec, @callirem, @untiltheparty, @virtusferocia, @gravitcns, @sanctcs / @irrealiite, @bogovich, @theruemorgue, @ashikaku, @batzoku, @anthcsis, @extraplanaire, @ninedoteight, @tanki-risou, @ncropolis, @txintedsorrow, @luctui, @yorunotora, @ossuaried, @rashomoneffect, @mujonainu, @hyperdetect, @jisatsumania, @naomc, @suicidclblack, @naieiyu !!!

thank you for following me!! you all are amazing <3

[excosanostra]

i just finished re-doing some shit on my personal and i’m getting dizzy so i’m gonna be there for the night sorry ! hmu if u want my personal tho lmao

[corruptaanima-blog]

💓 iTS MY TURN COME ON CHUUYA SURPRISE ME,

send a 💓 for a kiss from chuuya. || accepting.

“oi, bastard!” chuuya was pissed.

he wasn’t really sure why he was pissed, but when it came to dazai, did he really need a reason? anger and heated words came so easily when dazai was concerned. sharp movements, chuuya had all but announced his presence so the other would know he was there. it was quite late in the day, the streets filling up with it’s resident night lifers. surprisingly chuuya was sober. he wouldn’t be able to blame alcohol on what he was about to do.

his earlier words had caused the exmafioso to stop in his tracks, obviously recognizing the voice to be chuuya’s. any logical thoughts in chuuya’s head disappeared as he got closer to where dazai had stopped. once he got close enough, chuuya slowed his pace, not wanting to reach the other just yet. he liked that dazai was preparing for a fight. it was rare, because this time there wouldn’t be one.

now close enough, chuuya stopped too close for comfort, breaths coming in soft pants. he was already worked up. “you..” the word came out breathy and not angry like he’d wanted it to ( oh well ). before the other could speak, gloved hands reached out, grasping at the lapels of dazai’s coat chuuya gave a harsh tug pulling dazai to him. he lifted himself slightly so they were the same height, lips crashing against the others in a heated kiss. it was forceful, and lust filled. tongue being shoved between soft lips to enter the others warm mouth. the kiss lasted longer than acceptable, but chuuya had craved this for so long, he wasn’t going to let up until satisfied. the mafioso didn’t pull away until his lungs began burning, needing oxygen chuuya pulled back- a trail of saliva connecting the pairs lips.

a smirk graced slightly swollen lips, “mm, i’d missed you, dazai.”

[excosanostra]

???

                   ❛ i think some PINK would really BRIGHTEN up your outfit a bit. y’look like you’re heading to a FUNERAL. ~ ❜   other’s style wasn’t any of her BUSINESS, but of course that wouldn’t stop rosalie from tossing in her TWO CENTS.  ▐ ♡ ⊰ @excosanostra  ⊱

     who... exactly, was this ? he hadn’t a clue, but admittedly-- she was cute, at least. with a few blinks of obvious confusion, the detective finally parted his lips to speak through his sudden silence; ❛ ... pink, huh ? don’t get me wrong, i do crave death constantly, but i agree-- pink is quite a nice colour. might you have any ideas for an outfit like this, miss ? ❜

[excosanostra]

💓 :^)

Send a 💓 if you’d like a kiss from my muse.

     ❛ ah, there you are, me ! ❜

     such strange words left the detective’s mouth-- they were words which would naturally be foreign to one’s lips, lest one’d be looking into a mirror, alas, here dazai sat, face-to-face with himself-- cheerful and eager as ever. the clones seemed to have the same, snarky smile planted right upon their faces as if they knew what was to happen-- which, in fact, was very likely. 

     ❛ so, i take it you’ve heard the news-- ! it’s no ordinary day, is it ? it’s none other than international kiss day, and who’d be the best for me to spend such a day with ... ? that’s right-- ! me ! someone who’s one-hundred percent willing to kiss me any and every moment of the day ! ❜

     the man leaned close to his doppelganger to trail a few kisses along his cheeks, then presses a single kiss to his lips before humming. a small purr of satisfaction could be heard as a warm smile soon became visible. and then, there was another kiss-- and another. how odd, it seemed, to enjoy the sensation of your own lips so much. 

    his arms snaked around the mirrored man stealthily before tugging him close and grinning against his lips. his eyes shone with excitement, gazing into the other’s twin brown hues. allowing a small chuckle to part his lips, he nuzzled into him-- perhaps a bit too sweetly. 

             ❛ you know, i must admit, you’re a pretty great kisser. ❜

[excosanostra]

💓!

Send a 💓 if you’d like a kiss from my muse.

                         ‘tired’  ‘lonely’  ‘abandoned’  ‘depressed’  ‘needy’  ‘monster’  

     all were but simple words with negative aspects. nothing about said words would particularly stick out to ordinary people-- alas, the two men whom stood side by side, towering over the shore before them, had experienced occasions related to those words on many occasions. such words were some of which could even describe them, or sum up most of their whole existence. 

     the detective wanted to never be compared to the other whom stood beside him, though it was now that he had realized that the two were much more alike than he had thought-- perhaps that reasoning may have been the very purpose for his dislike toward the man. he did dislike him-- he did, he truly did, didn’t he ?

     he had begun to question where he stood with his opinion toward poe-- his mind was all over the place, wavering to and from varied thoughts like wildfire. nothing quite seemed to make sense anymore. why were they here ? why did they meet ? they had hardly even known each other previously, so why ?

     such thoughts only continued to confuse the detective, and before long, he had turned toward poe with a curious emotion sparking within his eyes. his gaze was a cold, harsh one, and yet, so inquisitive at the same time. dazai, himself, was unsure of the mixture of emotions he was feeling, as well. emotions were troubling, after all. 

     not even a few moments later, his voice could be heard softly as he leaned close. ❛ hey, poe, ❜ he spoke, before pressing his lips ever so gently against the elder male’s lips. the water of the shore was loud, though even that seemed to be blocked out for the moment-- there was nothing but the silence and the sensation of another’s lips against his own. the sound of the ocean was quick to come back once the detective had pulled himself away-- yet, his expression remained neutral; dull, and tired. 

                   ❛ ... what’s it like to be human ? ❜

[excosanostra]

💓

Send a 💓 if you’d like a kiss from my muse.

     the date on the calendar was written ‘july 6th’; what would normally be considered an average date within the summer-- though, below the big number on his calendar, written in his own kanji, had been the very small wording of ‘international kiss day’. vi had still been in the agency after tending to one of his wounds from the most recent suicide attempt, and seemed to stick around to make sure he was safe. 

     rising from his position, dazai found himself towering over the girl and smiling as he leaned down toward her. ❛ hey, hey, vi-chan, close your eyes-- i’ve got something for you. ❜ his voice was soft and kind, trying desperately to refrain from frightening the girl or causing discomfort. at doing what he had requested of her, the detective simply leaned close to give her a quick peck upon the lips, pulling away just as quickly as he had leaned in.

               it was then, he backed away quickly, as though he’d be hit. 

     ❛ so, uh, before you hit me-- consider this: it’s international kiss day, and i really just needed an excuse to kiss someone-- someone, being you. ❜

[excosanostra]

💓

Send a 💓 if you’d like a kiss from my muse.

     ❛ ah, chuuya-- chuuuuuya ! ❜

     an eager ( and loud ) calling of the name was given as an attempt to gain the shorter male’s attention, with the waving of his arms being anything but subtle. as the detective had lured his target closer, not only was he fully prepared to take a good few hits, but he had been one-hundred percent ready to give the man quite the surprise. 

     of course, idle chitchat between the two was unlikely, as one of the first of many actions that had taken place had simply been dazai blocking a punch to his face. chuuya was going to yell-- he was a loud guy, was he not ? holding the mafioso’s fist in one hand, dazai extended his free arm to place a hand over his mouth. brown hues focusing on bright blue; a smile was given. 

     ❛ hey, chuuya ! we just keep running into each other, don’t we ? ❜ ah, yes, ‘running into each other’, he claimed, as he had literally just called the man out, ❛ remember that tradition we had-- each year on your birthday ? we did something special.. though, more recently, i haven’t been around for your birthday, so i thought i could take a moment to make up for such a thing ! ❜

    dazai’s face was far too kind and innocent to be saying such words, as they had both likely known very well what he had been talking about. anyhow, it had been a special day ( internationally, at that ), so what better time to make up for lost memories than now ?

     without evening furthering his explanation, nor even his reasoning behind such actions, dazai had uncovered the mafioso’s mouth to grab him by the collar and tug him close. though his smile was innocent, his eyes were hungry. before allowing a single word to escape his partner’s mouth, the detective leaned down to press his lips right against the other’s-- first, being sweet, but soon becoming greedy. it was nothing quick in the slightest, and he honestly wanted it to last much longer-- alas, he couldn’t be too greedy. once having slowly pried himself away from chuuya, his smile was still present. 

     ❛ i do hope you can forgive me for the memories we’ve missed out on. happy late birthday, chuuya. ❜

[excosanostra]

💓 Platonic kisses are wonderful.

Send a 💓 if you’d like a kiss from my muse.

     humidity clouded the agency-- rooms muffled by stagnant air; the whole day seemed as though its pacing had been slowed or even halted. everyone had their own bits of work to do, and yet, dazai remained within his office with a stack of papers on his desk. desperate to refrain from doing his work, brown hues focused on everything but the papers-- until a small figure walked through the door. 

                                                          finally, a distraction !

     rising from his desk, leaving his coat behind ( due to the unbearable heat ), dazai quickly scurried up to the little girl with open arms, and pulled her in for a hug. ❛ kyouka-chaaaaaaaan ! you don’t know how long i’ve been here, waiting for someone to-- huh -- ? ❜ a troubled noise seemed to have escaped the girl, causing the man to pull back, hoping that he hadn’t startled or disturbed her. though, that hadn’t seemed to be the case-- a listless expression was present, as well as reddened cheeks and absolute physical exhaustion. a worried frown was given in response as he had made his way to the small water machine in the corner of the room to pour a small amount of water into a cup, which would quickly be handed to the girl.

      ❛ kyouka-chan, you musn’t run around and push yourself when it’s hot out, like this. you’re still very young, and overworking yourself will make you feel very poorly. ❜ cue the man kneeling down to match the girl’s height, presenting to her, now, a smile. using a hand to push back her bangs for but a moment, dazai leaned forward to kiss her forehead. warm-- she may have been burning up. ❛ drinking that water should make you feel better. now, get some rest until you’ve cooled down, okay ? don’t go worrying the agency. ❜

[excosanostra]

' jeez -- ! you need to stop getting hurt so much. what are you, a bad luck magnet? it's like everything has a mind of its own && is constantly after you. ' huffy little vi, resting her forehead above the newest cut, before pressing a little kiss to it. just a soft one, hoping to god he won't feel it.

     ❛ ah, if such a thing were the case, i doubt i’d hardly even be surprised. ❜ a faint murmur in response to the girl; eyes fluttered shut and a pleasant smile marked over his lips. a small, nearly unnoticeable sensation was felt upon the new wound which had luckily stopped bleeding some time prior to the current moment. registering what said sensation had been, an eye simply opened to take a glance at the girl, sighing contently as he had done so. 

❛ alas, why would i even wish to cease these pains when such nice things, as such, are presented to me, after the fact ? you treat my wounds much nicer than those at the agency would ..! ❜

[hopeful-hugz]

National Kissing Day, you say? Send a 💓 if you’d like a kiss from my muse.

[excosanostra]

haven't talked/interacted with you but! showers with glitter!! welcome back~

thank you !!! it’s good to be back and to have all this weight off my chest from clarifying drama and whatnot so !! i’m excited to start things up again !

[theboykingofhell]

[excosanostra]

i don't really know you at all but HELLO it is nice to have you here

thank you and hello ! i’ve talked to you vaguely on my hirahara blog but it’s nice to see you here, as well !!

[excosanostra]

i’m not putting this under a read more because i think it would be nice for the whole fandom to hear me out with what’s happened, because i have made some mistakes.

before continuing with dazai and writing for him again, there’s things that are needed to be said and brought up. 

whilst calling on skype with a good friend of mine @rashomoneffect i was addressed with the current drama that had been happening and though i don’t want to go into much detail addressing who did what, they made it clear that an apology should, in fact, be said, and i do agree. they went over a few things that even i hadn’t even realized, and it greatly upset me to hear these sort of things. also, i had done some bad things and said something that i worded in a way in which could be taken incorrectly, so i’d also like to clarify what i meant that ?

as of late, as most of you know, i had been broken up with by xhin/silver (@hyperdetect, can’t tag due to being blocked) and my mental state spiraled really terribly. i did, in fact, harm myself in ways which i shouldn’t have, which is something i cannot apologize for due to being terribly mentally ill. but what i hadn’t realized was the apparent mass amounts of messages my friends had been sending to him about my state. at telling my friends that i had been hospitalized, i did, in fact know that my best friend irl was to send silver an anon stating my condition and wished to attempt to see if he could talk to me again. i do not know what message he had sent, nor do i know what it was even about, and he had apparently sent far more than one, from the information i’ve gathered. i will be asking my friend about his messages and the content in which he sent, for clarification. my qpp, yuuma, on the other hand, has heard both sides of the story, and i knew that they were worried about my health when i didn’t care much about myself, and i even indirectly spoke to silver through yuuma, to try and convey my feelings-- which was a bad idea at the time, due to my mental state. i was mentally and physically unwell, and i was using my own health as a threat against him, which i only realized recently. in these bad mood drops and deterioration of my health, i realized that i didn’t quite think of anything i did or said because of mere desperation. 

so, not only had my friends been on silver’s ass, but i had also been using one of my friends to indirectly interact with him, which is really shitty of me, and i realize that now, when i’m in a healthier state of mind. for that, i’m sorry.

also, as an apology for the whole fandom, because apparently this was brought up, and it’s something i literally meant no harm by, i was misinterpreted last night at my post about coming back when i said ‘ i’ve got to take my throne back ‘ and i guess that was interpreted as me claiming i was the ‘best’ dazai or the ‘best’ in the fandom in general ? please refrain from taking it that way, as i didn’t intend that in any way whatsoever-- i was the first to make an rp blog for bsd, and i don’t know-- i really just ? feel like i really helped raise a fandom over the course of a long period of time and i felt as though i kinda stuck out as the one who started it all, or something-- i do not think i am ‘the best’ dazai, as most have seen previously-- i’m actually very paranoid about how i write for him. and i certainly do not think anyone is lower than me, so i really just want to make that clear. 

all i can ask for is that silver, along with anyone else who i may have hurt without realizing it, can forgive me and allow me to take back some of the shit i’ve caused/done. i really hope that we can mend a friendship again sometime in the future, because that’s all i could ever ask for, but i understand that what’s needed right now for everyone is a fresh breath of air and space, so i will come to appreciate and respect that. i am really, deeply sorry for everything, and i’d like to keep this community as drama-free as possible. thank you all for reading, however, and sorry this got so long, but hopefully i addressed enough stuff to clear up what happened and clarified the events which had taken place as of late.