MOVED TO DISSOCIAETE

will you survive high school?will I survive?because I know too many people who didn’t.

[dissociaetemoved]

ok thats all im gonna do from my inbox bc im overwhelmed but uh!! CLAYS HERE NOW, and is a sideblog to my hub blog that i’ve been working on! im keen to keep threads and im gonna rb some memes over there so uh? pls support my career

[dissociaetemoved]

@cultons​    :    “come on. let’s get out of here.”

there was once a time where clay wouldn’t even think about ditching school, where he was a model student and a normal guy who just coasted his way through life. but that’s not who he is anymore. and while school is still somewhat important to him, he’s not so opposed to just leaving during the day. especially now, when he’s so clearly paranoid, so clearly on edge and on the verge of breakdown. he’s doing his best to hide it, he really is, but it’s not really working. face is still bruised from when he’d tried to fight a football player twice his size, the pressure of all the crimes he’s covering up finally starting to get to him. and so the offer is barely thought through, barely a question. “yeah. yeah, okay. why not.”

[dissociaetemoved]

@feelsdeath​    :    “is there something you’re not telling me?”

where would he even start? that he knew what happened to bryce when he died? that he knew monty was innocent? that both of them are haunting his every waking moment? that he was falling apart? how much of that was really a secret? sure, no one knew about the bryce and monty stuff, but was it really that hidden that he was crumbling? was it really so hard to believe that he wasn’t as convincing as he thought? “no.” the lie flows easily, but it’s not the most believable thing in the world. in fact, it’s not really believable at all. “what wouldn’t i be telling you?”

[dissociaetemoved]

MEEKBRVCRY.

slowly valerie allows her body to be brought down to the ground beside him , her knees coming to her chest as she settles in beside him. her eyes go to his face , pale countenance one of fear. no color is able to be seen , all of it having been drained out. she has seen him in the hallways many times , though she does not recall if they have ever really spoken. due to her being someone who had not arrived when the school year began but after the fact , she was not well informed on all that had been happening with her fellow peers , though apparently , her locker used to belong to someone who was no longer with them , though that story seems to be deeper than she just moved away. valerie never did ask , though the atmosphere of the whole school had not been the most welcoming of places. her mind was at war with herself every day , and she had been in so many situations like this lately. feeling unable to breathe , being unable to think and knowing that even if this is not rational , all of the senses cause such an experience that simulates drowning. how scary is it your own body could betray you like that ?

it did not take much from him to signal that he would like her company , seeing him moving his head in agreement being the barest indication she needed before she made a decision. she wished to stay either way , as she would have hated leaving him like this , though also , people did like to be left alone as well. as she takes him in , she watches his face for any changes , any more signs of distress. her head tilts to the side a bit as she assessed the situation , what should be done. of course , he would know , as it is his emotions , though asking too much would not be the best thing.

she does not announce what she is doing at first , merely slows her own breathing down to a pace that would mimic the pattern he should adopt. she inhales as much oxygen as she can , holds for a bit , and then exhales , repeating it over again. she continues , seeing if maybe he would also begin , her hues training on him silently.

clay jensen has been a bomb on the verge of explosion for years. he’d had explosive episodes before, yelling or threatening or fighting people, taking justice into his own hands. the boy is far from a stable person, even he’s aware of that. of course he is, he wouldn’t be trying to hide his fall into brokenness if he didn’t. he doesn’t really know her, not beyond the basics. she’s new, she’s got hannah’s locker — that’s the main thing he knows. even now, after all this time, he keeps an eye on that locker. finds his gaze drifting there every day, finds himself imagining things being different. but they’ll never be different, he can’t change the past. all he knows now is that he doesn’t see hannah anymore, not like he did during the trial. and he’s glad he doesn’t, knows she’d have plenty to say about his involvement in all that had gone on.

he finds comfort in the girl sitting next to him, even if he hates his most vulnerable moments being broadcasted to someone. it feels stupid, pathetic, but it’s too much for him to handle alone right now. he’s learned that his panics tend to calm slightly with other people around, that when someone notices something wrong with him he manages to snap into reality. so focused on the needs of others, refusing to let them know about his own needs. it’s unhealthy, but it’s what works. or at least, he tells himself it works.

despite panic still being strong, his breathing slowly begins to fall in line with hers. he can hear the way she breathes, naturally finds himself trying to mimic it. she’s okay, so if he’s breathing the same way then surely he must be okay as well. but it takes a while of sitting there to really hit that point of his breathing actually slowing,  so in his head that it’s not so easy.

[dissociaetemoved]

CURSEDSVDE.

              shockingly enough, cruelty is something elena experiences often. from her parents, from her brother sometimes, from people at school. and as of recently, from kurt and his friends. it’s scary to her, how much someone can change. how someone who she thought would never hurt her could turn out to be so cruel. it shocks her, opens her mind in ways she didn’t ever want to see. so, yes, clay being nice to her is shocking. even though he’s always been nice to her. his words cause a soft laugh, sniffling as her hand quickly tries to wipe away anymore tears. “that’s nice. really nice.” why does that make her want to cry even more? is she that unfamiliar with kindness these days? “i’m sorry. i just - i’ve had a really bad couple of weeks. i don’t mean to drop it all on you.”

               he wants to be comforting, is desperate to be better at this. ever since hannah he’d wanted so desperately to be better at noticing things, at comforting people, at helping. but it isn’t easy, and he truly knows that if his kindness is enough to make her emotional then his kindness is a big gesture in her eyes, but to him it doesn’t feel like enough. just being nice isn’t good enough for him, always desperate to be the hero. “it’s okay.” voice is soft, words genuine, a real attempt to make sure she knows he doesn’t mind her getting emotional. it’s not as if he hasn’t had his fair share of breakdowns in his time. “you can talk to me, really. i’ve dealt with enough shit that i’m pretty sure i can handle pretty much anything.” spoken with a slight laugh, though he’s telling the truth. he’s been through a lot, and since it hasn’t all come crashing down yet he thinks he’s unstoppable.

[dissociaetemoved]

CURSEDSVDE.

          he’s cute. really cute. especially when he’s nervous. elena’s never thought she could have that impact on someone. the corners of her lips twitch upwards into a bright grin, hazel hues brightening as she looks up at him. she moves from the wall she was cleaning, turning her full focus to clay. “so, we’re both single.” she points out, the bright smile never leaving her features. “that’s good for both of us, right? i think so.” she teases, gaze flickering over his features. “anything else you wanna ask me?”

            oh, she’s actually doing this. she’s actually pushing the idea, all but asking it herself. mouth opens slightly, but to no one’s surprise he doesn’t actually have a response yet. “uh—” voice falters, brain clamoring to find a way to seem smooth. there’s nothing smooth about this, not at all. he sighs gently, still smiling but clearly nervous, tries to pull himself together. “would uh— would you ever wanna, like... hang out? with me?” not smooth, not at all. “like, as— maybe, like— as a date?”

[kurthortonmoved]

okay yes at some point kurt and clay are gonna move to sideblogs and all the sideblogs are gonna have a hub blog that follow backs and asks come from

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

This is a headline on an actual news website.

[siickangel]

“you’re so quiet” i’m dissociating and ive lost connection with reality

[dissociaetemoved]

clay muse always hits when im feelin the worst whats up gang

[cowboyhudsons]

2x12 // 4x01

[emotionalwhump]

The Open House (dir. Matt Angel; Suzanne Coote)

[naturclmemes]

BOYS LIKE GIRLS ALBUM PROMPTS !! ( PART 2 )

❰❰ UP AGAINST THE WALL ❱❱

it’s over

i can’t deny your eyes

you threw me up against the wall

i wish that i had never loved at all

don’t follow , just let it go

all the complications led to this

❰❰ DANCE HALL DRUG ❱❱

this is the life that you wanted , right ?

don’t it feel like somethings not right ?

you can’t wait to fall in love

the room won’t stop spinning

you should’ve waited

show ‘em what you’re made of

❰❰ LEARNING TO FALL ❱❱

today’s the day

was it just a lie ?

i can’t change your mind

why did you leave ?

i can’t stop dreaming

you said you don’t see

❰❰ HEELS OVER HEAD ❱❱

you were worth the hundred thousand miles

you left me for dead

you’re always on my mind

i’m running out of time

you’re burning bridges

you’re a chance taker , heart breaker

❰❰ BROKEN MAN ❱❱

i want to scream until no sound comes out

i need to start to be myself

i will learn to love again

i guess you were better off without me

i’m always too late

you never got your story straight

❰❰ HOLIDAY ❱❱

( pronoun ) was always wise

now it’s your turn , take a shot

i gotta find a new place

maybe i’ll jump in for a swim

i’ve broken too many hearts

i don’t have a clue where to go

[dissociaetemoved]

thinkin of Her (ani)

[justinsjensen]

Clay Jensen + breakdowns

- 1x09 // 3x07

[kurthortonmoved]

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SUNNY?

@kurthorton​ - kurt horton, fe.ar st.reet: 1978 canon. high activity, primary blog.

@dissociaete​ - cl.ay jen.sen, 13 re.as.ons wh.y canon. high activity, primary blog.

@jasonbrenner​ - jason brenner, fandomless/stranger things original character. medium activity, sideblog to kurthorton.

@st0pcrying​ - multi-fandom multimuse. medium-low activity, sideblog to kurthorton and dissociaete.

[dissociaetemoved]

REBELSIDER.

@dissociaete -> There’s something wrong with me

“ 𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚈 , 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 ?  “   he 𝘊𝘈𝘕’𝘛  be serious right now , can he ?  “ 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 , 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 , 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 , 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚓𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚗. 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚊 𝙶𝙴𝙼 , 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚢𝚟𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚢. “ camp was supposed to be fun for 𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘙𝘠𝘖𝘕𝘌 , and rachel was going to do her damnedest to make sure that meant poor , sweet clay ( and of course , justin ) had a good time as well ! 

𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘌𝘙 𝘚𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘊𝘌𝘚 -> 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴’𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝙼𝙴 𝙰𝙻𝙱𝚄𝙼 𝙻𝚈𝚁𝙸𝙲𝚂 // ACCEPTING

her intentions are sweet, but there’s no other way to look at it, really. there’s definitely SOMETHING wrong with clay jensen, even if it isn’t exactly what the other sunnyvalers say. he knows not to listen to the bullshit, but when there’s plenty going on in his head he can’t help it. “ 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠. 𝚒 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. ” something he hates to admit, those jerks being right is definitely an unfortunate thing. “ 𝚒 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗… 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝… 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠. 𝚒 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝— 𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐’𝚜 𝚁𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎. ”