You claimed that you were SO AFRAID to flirt with others online because you had been ***called out for it ON TUMBLR before***. And yet here you are. You don't seem afraid at all. I felt so bad for making a post warning others about you on discord, I felt so bad I maybe hurt you by doing that and reinforced your fear and betrayed you. When all I wanted was justice. I hate how considerate I STILL AM, despite the way you've treated me.
Do you have no conscience at all?
You almost had me killed.
You handed me over to a violent system as if I were a problem and not a human being. You called the police when I was suicidal instead of talking to me or my sister. There were over 12 cops. I had to deescalate. You know how violent U.S. cops are.
You had me institutionalized. You handed me over to the system. I am traumatized. They abused me in the hospital. You say you are "doing the work" how? By flirting with strangers online? By living in your isolated feedback loop and surrounding yourself with enablers? Tell yourself and them the truth. That you are an avoidant self-serving coward who lacks empathy and self awareness. Who lies to himself so he can be cruel. You lied to me for years.
This little "incorrect" bit is something he'd say to me too btw.
Iām sharing this because no one should endure what I survived. JD presents himself as kind and progressive, but his actions reveal a pattern of emotional predation and failure to take accountability for how his avoidant wounds and past trauma causes him to deeply harm others. They reveal something darker:
After nearly 3 years together, JD blindsided me with a breakup *3 weeks before a trip we planned for months (since December)* then:
Weaponized care: When I expressed suicidal ideation, JD called the police, a violent escalating method, instead of contacting me or my family, knowing how dangerous cops can be and that I have past trauma with them. 12+ officers showed up in the middle of the night. They were all over my lawn and apartment. I was institutionalized and abused in the psychiatric hospital. He treated me as a problem to solve and not a human who deserved basic care.
Cowardice and Cruelty:
He blocked me everywhere not to heal, but to avoid accountability and answering for his actions (calling the cops, lying)
Weaponized "boundaries". He framed abandonment as a boundary for healing while refusing to communicate and leaving me in crisis.
Had his family block me
Said "maybe I'll find someone who my family likes (knowing his family disliked me for standing up to his brotherās neglect and emotional abuse of a child).
Called our relationship a "rotten festering corpse he could no longer ignore the smell of." Used other cruel dehumanizing and grotesque metaphors.
Claimed that I knew he wasn't in love with me. (I knew he was detached but thought we were working through it and had faith in him.)
Treated the entire breakup to be about himself and was inconsiderate and selfish and extremely rude.
Treated my suicidality as manipulation and said it was pushing him away.
Punished me for expressing my emotions by saying he could not see us reconciling if I didn't take a step back.
Told me he wanted to be friends, basically communicating he wanted access to me without the effort.
Engaged in gaslighting and emotional neglect
Treated me as if I was harassing him for wanting answers, refraining basic questions as violations.
Accepted my love and care and devotion to him, knowing he wasn't committed to me.
Framed his avoidance as self-care, growth, and no longer ignoring the truth, all while I fought to survive the fallout and severe destabilization.
He said things to me that no one should ever say to someone who they claim is their best friend. And who they claim they still love. He treated me with such a distinct lack of respect, for both me and the relationship.
Accountability requires dialogue. Not hiding behind "No contact". If he is healed enough to flirt with other people after everything I endured at his hands, then he is healed enough to have a conversation with me.
Avoidant Lies: Days before dumping me, he talked about future plans with my family and I. He engaged in lovey dovey talk with me and acted as if nothing was wrong. He talked about the upcoming trip and how excited he was. When confronted, he claimed āI love you but Iām not in love with youā, then treated me with contempt.
I found out that he liked another woman's selfie the day before Valentineās Day. This is a hard boundary I had that he was fully aware of. He acted as if he only just found this "clarity" about not being in love but was engaging in these acts that violated our relationship in the month before he broke up with me, and for who knows how long before that. I trusted him and he knew that and still chose to violate my very clearly communicated boundaries.
These are screenshots of texts he sent me from the *day* before the breakup:
He went to get a covid and flu vaccine to protect me on the trip. He engaged in so much that showed he was participating in building a future with me. He brought up saving money for a road trip with my sister and I this summer. A few days before I told him things felt tense, and he reassured me that they weren't and that there was no tension only love and that he loved me.
He claimed I knew he wasn't in love for a long time. These are not the words and actions from a man who was not in love. He refuses to tell the entire truth. About how he fears intimacy. And he will repeat this very same pattern with everyone. He brought up finding someone new during the breakup implying I was the problem, not his inability to commit. And that he would magically be able to put the effort in for the right person. He withheld it from me while blaming me for not being it.
When I told him the breakup was a blindside and to put himself in my position. He said it wasn't a blindside to him.
JD harms people by *refusing accountability* while pretending to ādo the work.ā
He surrounds himself with enablers who excuse his behavior.
He refuses to seek external care through therapy or counseling.
He paints himself as the victim whenever he is called out.
People like JD coast off the love others give them, and flee when they're expected to reciprocate more than on a surface level. He fears true intimacy but is afraid to admit this to himself.
Twists progressive lnguage (therapy speak, boundaries, values, growth) to abuse.
Will treat your pain as a toxic demand.
If heās done this to me, heāll do it to others.
He will Love bomb you in the beginning. Do not fall for it.
He will repeat this cycle with anyone who cares for him: future-fake, withhold, devalue you, and finally when you try to hold him accountable and encourage him to grow, he will discard you.
I donāt want sympathy. I want *no one else to trust this man with their safety*.
True peacemakers do not traumatize others and then silence them.
To the next person he love bombs:
Ask why his ex is traumatized. Ask why heās "ready" for you but couldnāt send a single "how are you?" Or "I'm sorry." text to me post-hospitalization.
*To JD*: Your "next chapter" and "growth" and "healing" and "truth" is just a recycled lie. Please, I am saying this as someone who cares for you, seek therapy. Not a new victim. Escape the feedback loop of your mind. You are lying to yourself and making the wrong choice at every turn.
Talk to me one on one like an adult, big dog. Stop running. You can't run from yourself forever.
You claimed that you were SO AFRAID to flirt with others online because you had been ***called out for it ON TUMBLR before***. And yet here you are. You don't seem afraid at all. I felt so bad for making a post warning others about you on discord, I felt so bad I maybe hurt you by doing that and reinforced your fear and betrayed you. When all I wanted was justice. I hate how considerate I STILL AM, despite the way you've treated me.
Do you have no conscience at all?
You almost had me killed.
You handed me over to a violent system as if I were a problem and not a human being. You called the police when I was suicidal instead of talking to me or my sister. There were over 12 cops. I had to deescalate. You know how violent U.S. cops are.
You had me institutionalized. You handed me over to the system. I am traumatized. They abused me in the hospital. You say you are "doing the work" how? By flirting with strangers online? By living in your isolated feedback loop and surrounding yourself with enablers? Tell yourself and them the truth. That you are an avoidant self-serving coward who lacks empathy and self awareness. Who lies to himself so he can be cruel. You lied to me for years.
This little "incorrect" bit is something he'd say to me too btw.
Iām sharing this because no one should endure what I survived. JD presents himself as kind and progressive, but his actions reveal a pattern of emotional predation and failure to take accountability for how his avoidant wounds and past trauma causes him to deeply harm others. They reveal something darker:
After nearly 3 years together, JD blindsided me with a breakup *3 weeks before a trip we planned for months (since December)* then:
Weaponized care: When I expressed suicidal ideation, JD called the police, a violent escalating method, instead of contacting me or my family, knowing how dangerous cops can be and that I have past trauma with them. 12+ officers showed up in the middle of the night. They were all over my lawn and apartment. I was institutionalized and abused in the psychiatric hospital. He treated me as a problem to solve and not a human who deserved basic care.
Cowardice and Cruelty:
He blocked me everywhere not to heal, but to avoid accountability and answering for his actions (calling the cops, lying)
Weaponized "boundaries". He framed abandonment as a boundary for healing while refusing to communicate and leaving me in crisis.
Had his family block me
Said "maybe I'll find someone who my family likes (knowing his family disliked me for standing up to his brotherās neglect and emotional abuse of a child).
Called our relationship a "rotten festering corpse he could no longer ignore the smell of." Used other cruel dehumanizing and grotesque metaphors.
Claimed that I knew he wasn't in love with me. (I knew he was detached but thought we were working through it and had faith in him.)
Treated the entire breakup to be about himself and was inconsiderate and selfish and extremely rude.
Treated my suicidality as manipulation and said it was pushing him away.
Punished me for expressing my emotions by saying he could not see us reconciling if I didn't take a step back.
Told me he wanted to be friends, basically communicating he wanted access to me without the effort.
Engaged in gaslighting and emotional neglect
Treated me as if I was harassing him for wanting answers, refraining basic questions as violations.
Accepted my love and care and devotion to him, knowing he wasn't committed to me.
Framed his avoidance as self-care, growth, and no longer ignoring the truth, all while I fought to survive the fallout and severe destabilization.
He said things to me that no one should ever say to someone who they claim is their best friend. And who they claim they still love. He treated me with such a distinct lack of respect, for both me and the relationship.
Accountability requires dialogue. Not hiding behind "No contact". If he is healed enough to flirt with other people after everything I endured at his hands, then he is healed enough to have a conversation with me.
Avoidant Lies: Days before dumping me, he talked about future plans with my family and I. He engaged in lovey dovey talk with me and acted as if nothing was wrong. He talked about the upcoming trip and how excited he was. When confronted, he claimed āI love you but Iām not in love with youā, then treated me with contempt.
I found out that he liked another woman's selfie the day before Valentineās Day. This is a hard boundary I had that he was fully aware of. He acted as if he only just found this "clarity" about not being in love but was engaging in these acts that violated our relationship in the month before he broke up with me, and for who knows how long before that. I trusted him and he knew that and still chose to violate my very clearly communicated boundaries.
These are screenshots of texts he sent me from the *day* before the breakup:
He went to get a covid and flu vaccine to protect me on the trip. He engaged in so much that showed he was participating in building a future with me. He brought up saving money for a road trip with my sister and I this summer. A few days before I told him things felt tense, and he reassured me that they weren't and that there was no tension only love and that he loved me.
He claimed I knew he wasn't in love for a long time. These are not the words and actions from a man who was not in love. He refuses to tell the entire truth. About how he fears intimacy. And he will repeat this very same pattern with everyone. He brought up finding someone new during the breakup implying I was the problem, not his inability to commit. And that he would magically be able to put the effort in for the right person. He withheld it from me while blaming me for not being it.
When I told him the breakup was a blindside and to put himself in my position. He said it wasn't a blindside to him.
JD harms people by *refusing accountability* while pretending to ādo the work.ā
He surrounds himself with enablers who excuse his behavior.
He refuses to seek external care through therapy or counseling.
He paints himself as the victim whenever he is called out.
People like JD coast off the love others give them, and flee when they're expected to reciprocate more than on a surface level. He fears true intimacy but is afraid to admit this to himself.
Twists progressive lnguage (therapy speak, boundaries, values, growth) to abuse.
Will treat your pain as a toxic demand.
If heās done this to me, heāll do it to others.
He will Love bomb you in the beginning. Do not fall for it.
He will repeat this cycle with anyone who cares for him: future-fake, withhold, devalue you, and finally when you try to hold him accountable and encourage him to grow, he will discard you.
I donāt want sympathy. I want *no one else to trust this man with their safety*.
True peacemakers do not traumatize others and then silence them.
To the next person he love bombs:
Ask why his ex is traumatized. Ask why heās "ready" for you but couldnāt send a single "how are you?" Or "I'm sorry." text to me post-hospitalization.
*To JD*: Your "next chapter" and "growth" and "healing" and "truth" is just a recycled lie. Please, I am saying this as someone who cares for you, seek therapy. Not a new victim. Escape the feedback loop of your mind. You are lying to yourself and making the wrong choice at every turn.
Talk to me one on one like an adult, big dog. Stop running. You can't run from yourself forever.
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