I’ve had a lot of time to think about the last couple days tonight. I lost a friend I never thought I would lose. I have the full picture now. We were trauma bonded; that’s why this hurts so much.
We worked together for a while and bonded over our coworker who did me SO dirty, and did similar to her. We would vent for hours and hours about how much we hated her. We had plenty of therapy sessions together having a coffee and journaling.
She moved on to a different job. I had a huge feeling that once she left she would go distant. Guess who went distant. As soon as she was doing better at this job, acted like she was better than me at my job. We both groom dogs, and it was never a competition when we worked together. Now that she’s in a private salon she’s competing saying I’m not charging enough, my grooms are “bad” compared to hers, she’d point out little things on mine saying it looks ok but there’s a hair here and there to fix.
I’ve been hella depressed. It’s been BAD; the worst I have had I think ever. My thoughts were absolutely terrible. This time of year I get stuck in my head and forget to reply to people, if I do I’m very blah and not enthusiastic at all. Apparently that was an issue. I didn’t want to hang out with her I just wanted to stay home and relax with my husband. She BLEW UP on me saying I was complaining about my job too much and if I hated it then I should just leave. She also was “tired of asking so much” to hang out, when I asked her too. MULTIPLE times and she turned me down too. We’re both going through shit, but I’m the bad guy because I couldn’t give her the attention she wanted. The attention we used to give each other in the past when all we would do is rant about the girl who hurt us. Now she did the same to me.
She stopped sharing her location with me and said “I’m not beefing or mad I just decided to stop sharing it with you”. She deleted the pictures she posted of us at my WEDDING. She even fucking went as far as leaving our fucking shared note with recipes we liked, but still has me on all 3 IG accounts and snap? I’m not gonna remove her cause I ain’t starting anymore shit 😒
I’ve had it with the heartbreak this year. This was supposed to be the year I finally healed from my other coworker who did me REALLY dirty, the year I married the man of my dreams, and getting a promotion at work. I have to end it healing from yet another friend who didn’t wanna go through the hard stuff with me, even though I would 10000% go through it with her.
2026 WILL be better. I’m not going to let it ruin me. I will flourish next year. I need to find a new hobby, a new friend maybe, a new job maybe, something different. Change is good. I have a perfect marriage, an amazing place to live. My mom is my only other supporter besides him.
If you’ve made it this far in this long ass rant/dump, I appreciate you. You can grow from the things you never thought you have to grow from.
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