audrey is on @down1979 for the time being.
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Mike Driver
cherry valley forever

Love Begins
Sweet Seals For You, Always
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

blake kathryn
NASA
will byers stan first human second
occasionally subtle
taylor price
almost home
YOU ARE THE REASON

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Sade Olutola
ojovivo

PR's Tumblrdome

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@exjacket-a
audrey is on @down1979 for the time being.
i might move audrey back to my multi .... would that be okay with you?
might have to move audrey back to my multi but might not
Thought about Audrey and Ben
AUDREY EVANS YOU'RE SO FAMOUS TO ME
RACHEL WEISZ | The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2023)
van waits with a baited breath, hanging on those two syllables, mapping the lines of audrey's face—— a face that shouldn't feel so brand new to them but fuck, they are just now realizing that the fuzzy little pixels on their phone never quite did audrey evans justice. in hindsight, why didn't you come before seems like the wrong question to ask. it wasn't like they had extended a personal invite. audrey is here because audrey chose to be. all on her own accord, since all van did to facilitate it was pick up a call with a brief can't talk taissa's here and hang it right up back again. they didn't have any secret plans of inviting her or even visiting at all. no, they were too busy being comforted by simply the sound of her voice on a long drive to wonder what it would be like to hear it sitting across from them on the passenger's side better yet in their own damn living room. it almost feels cruel making audrey be the one to answer the question at all.
❝ wait. you don't .. ❞ whether it's a scoff or a poor excuse for a laugh that escapes van's lips she doesn't know but it lingers in the space between her words all the same. ❝ .. actually believe that, do you? ❞ maybe it's shock or maybe it's hurt or maybe it's even some twisted version of both. if anything at all, she isn't hurt that audrey could think something like that. it's the idea that they shouldn't have allowed her mind to ever go there to begin with. (how the hell was i supposed to work that into a midnight phone call?) van pulls one leg up beneath their body on the couch, crossing the other one over it until their heel is pressing so deeply into the bend beneath cushions that they feel grounded again.
❝ well, you're here now, ❞ their lips curl into a ghost of a smile, soft in all the ways van isn't sure is right but persist against all of her better judgments anyway, ❝ so, what changed? should i have hung up the phone more often orrrrr? ❞
she has convinced herself, in the depths of her psyche, that she is undeserving of a moment like this. take the wins as they come, take the long distance phone calls and the forced isolation in wiskyaok because what could she deserve that was any better? certainly not this, because this feels too good. even as she looks around and sees the time capsule that is van's apartment, even a small moment like that, it's too good. she only has this for the consumption that she partook in, for the dirt that she swallowed. if one were looking in, maybe they'd see a glimpse of what could be a casual reintroduction, two friends, maybe more, caught back together in a moment of surprise. couldn't anything happen? should anything happen? " oh my god. " her cheeks blush and she turns her chin downward. their voice is so much clearer, their little intonations, the little twist of her lips and and the tone of each word... audrey's heart beats a little faster in her chest as she focuses in.
" i don't know, i guess i did. " when her brown eyes flick up once more, she's met with that moment once again, the very moment that comes every second, as if her memory goes and slips only to be reinvigorated by each relooking at van. their scar is lighter, and for a moment she realizes that her gaze is caught too closely. those memories seem to be a bit more clearer than the one she's gathering in this moment. again, it's too good to be true (and only soon will she know that it's not, that a moment like this can only come with some sort of loss, some sort of pain / since the age of eighteen, there was only ever good when there was bad ready to come, only ever good associated with the truly most awful moments of her existence). " you're going to laugh at me. " she leans into the back of the couch, elbow pressing deep and her hand supporting her chin. " honestly i was a little jealous that you were hanging out with tai without me. " she fakes a flinch, before allowing a sliver of an embarrassed laugh slip through parted lips. " it was the final push... "
the warmth fades, and the grin slips into a near emptiness on her features. the previous honesty was coated in a quick facade, one easily accessible from the anxiety of being in the presence of someone like them once more. " i'd been wanting to come for a while, and i kinda feel like shit for not doing it. i... i swear to god i wanted to, i just got busy with my mom when she got sick and... " now she's rambling, and she brings her palm up to her forehead to silently tell herself, stop: stop embarrassing yourself. " yeah. "
"you know, you’ve got a real smart mouth."
orrr "i'm not the type to admit i'm wrong."
<3
she's quick to raise her brows: if there's one thing that she cannot do, it's bite back her facial expressions. not anymore. it used to be a conscious effort, words going around her head of minute judgements that slipped after every game (when jackie would pass it wrong, when the team was just not on the same page) all thought with a smile and a warm effort to keep her expression as simple as possible. not now, she turns her gaze to @scatored: and it's all out there. judgment mixed in with a little bit of humor (if you look closely, the corner of her lips are twisted just slightly upwards).
" well you... i mean. " for a place completely silent, it's so loud. the snowfall outside lingers like a peaceful threat, grinning down upon them knowing what kind of selfishness in beauty it is creating. she used to love this time of the year, now she looks out the window with annoyance and ache. " you kind of lied, didn't you? " it's not meant to hurt, it's not meant to be a dig at her character (although her stomach rumbles, and her teeth slightly chatter, and some part of her holds that over the other girl's head, a personal attack). " i get why you did it though. maybe you weren't wrong. at least... at least javi's okay, right? " she shrugs, because when she sees the silent boy out of the corner of her eye she can only wonder what he saw out there in the freezing cold and whispering trees. " we're practically dying out here, he'll get over it. "
OFFICIAL SEMI HIATUS NOTICE!
i am out of town for spring break from today to thursday night! i'm bringing my computer but i am visiting my family, many of who are chronically ill and some near the end of life so i wish to spend as much time as possible with them! / this goes for @exjacket, @96buzz, @allthatwas as well!
should’ve kept my ass in bed . (from lina, @cr4shjackets)
there are still scratches on her arms, barely closed up and still vulnerable to reopening (there are still scratches inside that threatn the same, one wrong word or one wrong turn and it all comes spilling from the inside out / the silent tears). with her knees tucked in, her chin turns to rest. for all its worth out here: she feels good, even with the pounding headache, she feels good. " shit. " teeth clamp down on her lower lip for a moment, trying her hardest not to smile before it sneaks over across the cracks with gloss still lingering from the night before. " i would never have guessed i'd be hung over from fermented berries in the fucking woods. "
when she looks to @19months, she can't help but laugh now. it almost feels like the teamwork again, like the joy she got at pre game dinners or end of the year banquets. the game, and all it was is gone... and maybe she's okay with that (still there is something that lingers– memories that stay and have not left, how quickly they were ready to move on from her captain hood and how hard it was on them for her to leave / not in a sad way, what the fuck are we going to do now?). " my head hurts and that's like... good, isn't that stupid? " it's quick that her laugh seems to fade into short disgruntled huffs beneath her breath, and her smile then turns into something sad. she remembers what they did, but who could blame them right? (out of the corner of her eye, she sees jackie with furrowed brows and a look that she could only describe as: pissed).
" it was a nice doomcoming i guess. "
Most of the team preferred not to remain in contact with one another. That was fair -- it wasn't as if Misty had many close friends out there herself.
But she had a lingering sense of responsibility to be the one to fix things, to clean up the messes and little nicks and scrapes that could arise whenever someone came picking at the metaphorical scabs around their shared secret. And there were a few Yellowjackets that the blonde would go above and beyond for, but their numbers were few and far between (duty and guilt could compel the hell out of someone).
Audrey's discomfort wasn't unexpected or unfair. But she was in safe hands with Misty -- when wasn't she? But the entire situation, with the reporter and the blackmail, was enough to put anyone on edge if they weren't prepared. The nurse, however, took it as a challenge.
"Yes, of course. Please, put your bag anywhere you'd like -- maybe the kitchen table? Caligula won't touch it, he's going back in his cage anyhow," she said, waving the woman in. Misty found her African Grey clutching the back of a wooden chair, and she scooped him up gently. "It's bedtime for birdie. But first, say good night to our guest."
The bird clicked its beak and turned his attention to the blonde. "Mommy, bed time," he cawed before fixing a beady eye on Audrey. "Good night. Bed time."
Misty smiled proudly before carrying the bird to his cage, talking over her shoulder to the other woman. "Well, that's as promising as it is frustrating. She had no bylines that I could find online either. So I think it's safe to say she's not exactly in the publishing industry." Once she'd covered up Caligula's cage for the night, she brushed her hands off on her pants and returned to the table, a pleasant smile creasing her features.
"So you haven't... heard from anyone else on the team lately? I mean, it's not as if we all have one big, happy group chat, but this Roberts woman has definitely kicked the nest, so to speak."
the yellowjackets themselves are almost gone from audrey's mind. they were before the crash too. the memories of soccer remain at a distance, she's learned better than to linger (almost, it's almost what she's learned and yet here she is standing in misty quigley's home trying to fight the feeling the simmers just under her skin screaming to scratch the itch). she's quick to flash a smile over her shoulder, brown eyes usually warm turn slowly to dilated iris. as much as their shouldn't be: there is fear. it's not fear of the blonde herself, no, it's the quick glances of a teenager she sees from the corner of her eyes, as if the misty she once knew is still somewhere hanging on and waiting.
she drops her bag gently, and lips pull into a thin line... waiting with adverted gaze (avoiding the bird himself) and only giving a smile as he says goodbye. the child in her wants to laugh: because if she were asked years ago where she pictured misty quigley, she could paint this picture with a million words and get nearly every detail right. although maybe she'd pick a cat over a bird... so close.
" i don't get it, i don't get why she cares so much. " her voice is just a train of thought, lost as her gaze seems to drift off. the topic pulls her in, put her in a place where every joke or smile that threatens to pull on her features at the state of her grown self. " maybe she's just obsessive. maybe she's just a crazy fan... i don't know though. "
the shake of her head and the furrow of her brow ages her, worry ages her (and she wonders, whenever she catches herself in the mirror looking this frustrated, she wonders how she looked back with the combination of dust settling in the cracks of her skin under the warm yet dim light of the fire). " no, no i haven't talked to anyone. " which is funny, she thinks, considering how close she still lives to everyone. to leave wiskayok would be to abandon audrey evans, are the other girls the same? " why? have you? "
guess who
argue with the wall! (jk)
semi hiatus / low activity notice: i'm currently working on my research project to graduate (like a thesis but without revisions) and also just physically and emotionally drained beyond what i have felt in so long. i'll be on here still, i just wanted to post this to set a precedent about activity and how i will be priortizing stuff with close friends or plotting. most of my activity will instead be given to @exjacket.
EXJACKET, REFLECTION FT. JACKIE TAYLOR.
this room is so suffocating . (from birdie)
" and it smells like shit. " her response is hidden beneath her breath, eyes dancing over a sea of grumbling stomachs and sweated desperation. even in the cold they're burning up, muscles eating themselves to give them the strength to wake up in the morning. a part of her heart hurts for them, in all her time on the sidelines (even when she tried hard not to) she took note of each girl. lottie's speed, tai's intelligence, van's concentration, and as much as she tried to avert her gaze– soccer was hers, the team was once hers. aren't they hers once more?
an equal starvation, a leveled playing field, and maybe thats why despite everything that she has tried to tell herself (and every time she's forced herself to react without the lingering memories of the team they once were): she finds herself caring... so she whispers, so she tries to keep everyone away from any perception of their ex captain digging at them in her mind, even for stuff out of their control. " i feel like every single fucking day it's getting worse... i miss when we could go outside. " her tone dips, it deepens (and momentarily her eyes twitch to lottie illuminated by the fire... when she catches herself she hopes @redruins doesn't see). " it'd be so much better if we could go outside. "
shout out to @90svan round 2 because i get to push the audrey lesbian agenda