How do you get people to stop talking down to you/over you?
BG:
Ever since I moved here I’ve had trouble with people taking my non-talkative/introverted behavior as a sign of stupidity. Yesterday I almost cried in the middle of a meeting because of my coworkers talking over me, EVEN ABOUT my own field of expertise.
One of them literally started talking about the client’s website in front of the client saying shit like “the UX is off” and pointing out UI issues to support his argument. And then turning to me going “am i right?” Now he’s my teammate, they’re clients. I wanted to be respectful of my relationship w/ both of them and I said “i won’t make a sweeping statement like that because if UX is off, UI will automatically be off and vice versa. So it’s a lot of little design issues, and i believe it can be better”
And he says “Exactly, the UX is off”
IT’S MY FIELD! He’s a financial analyst. I don’t speak about finances if I don’t know shit about it, why don’t you stay out of my fucking lane as well?
He then proceeded to literally hijack the entire meeting, spoke for literally 2 hrs straight to the point where even the woman in the client’s team raised her hand twice to interject while all the men in the room spoke over each other including my teammates, both of whom spoke over me 100 times and hijacked the conversation away from me even when the topic at hand was my field of expertise.
It got to the point it became nearly impossible for me to hold my tears back. I just quietly sat there for 2 hrs seeting with rage and despair at my own situation. And now i’m starting to think i’m being too sensitive for letting it get to me.
At one point of my teammates said “Othila is our graphic designer”
I’m not a graphic designer in this team. I’m a creative director. After the meeting i pointed it out to him. I said “don’t call me a graphic designer. I worked hard to get where I am. My designation is Creative Director”
He later called me to say he didn’t mean it like that. But why do men in this country INSIST on demoting the women around them?! I know it happens everywhere. Please don’t let any desis lecture me about that again. (edit: desi self-apologism is a rant for another time) But I’m so fucking tired of being an afterthought, for being relevant only when i agree with the men around me.
So....i need it to stop. i’ve had enough.