Life.
The past two days seem to have been anything, but eventful. I find myself trying to find words to type since I have only posted two things thus far. However, I cannot wrap my mind around ideas long enough to keep going. Today will be different though, I think. My young toddler is developing a closer relationship with my mother than he is with me, but I link this to the fact that I am the one that disciplines him over his grandmother. His father is in the picture, but he is out of my own life.
I am so thankful to be a mother, but I sometimes browse the thoughts of life without my son. They mostly seem filled with a lot of alcohol and nights with no memory. College now is full of focus and determination because I have someone that needs me to succeed. Succeeding for him is all I can think to do with how hard it is to support us both. Speaking of support, my income is barely keeping us afloat because the bills are slowly piling up. I hate bills. I actually wish I was lucky enough to win the lottery.
I am also trying this thing called working out. I haven’t actually worked out yet, but I am planning to do a double day of T25. It is said to be great for those on a tight schedule, so I cannot make excuses now. My sister is too lazy to do it with me, but I am going to continue to pray that she realizes she needs a change. She just rejoined a dating website that makes me cringe at the thought. She is beautiful enough to find a guy in the real world than that of a painted image on a website.
As you can tell, I do not agree with a lot of the things my sister does, but it is her life. I have been attending this local bible study with a few friends, at the time they were not considered friends, but now they are some of my closest friends. They make my life so much easier to deal with at times. God has been so good to me lately that I cannot imagine life without them. I actually met the guy I previously wrote about at bible study. He was the one to invite me.
I typed God can be so good sometimes, but I realize that God is good all of the time. He just has different timing that what we think he should have. He places things at the right time. I need to get back into church. I really need to get back into church. I keep repeating this to myself, but I cannot get out of bed on Sunday mornings. It is putting the biggest raincloud above my head. It angers me that the devil is having such an impact lately.
I planned to write so little, but it seems my fingers and mind were on a different page. I shall now go make my life better with a fifty minute workout. Please, wish me luck.
Anyone, please.