ExStudentGirlfriend

[exstudentgirlfriend-blog]

But why? Why now?

You might actually wonder, why I blog about it at all. Yet another blog. Yet another...

I haven’t started to think about her again. Indeed, I was thinking about her all the years. Yet, just recently, while browsing some blogs on tumblr, I’ve seen a picture of her.

I haven’t found her on google/facebook/twitter/instagram/etc. Thus my my surfing on tumblr wasn’t very directed. And then I saw her, with her gentle shape, like time hadn’t been able to touch her the past 10 years. She was wearing a male shirt, kind of a botfriend look.

The 2 1/2 years we were together, or the way I call it “3 birthdays long”, she nearly never mentioned her bf. At times I nearly had doubts he was existing. It was like “the one you don’t speak about”. 

Seeing my missed one in that outfit, while for me she always was just “my girl”, realizing she’s probably in the shirt of her bf, stabbed right through my heart. it hurt so much, I couldn’t breath,... I’ve just shut down my pc.

Seconds later I’ve realized “you idiot, it’s the trace you’ve looked for, for 10 years”. Hence I’ve immediately switched on my PC, even grabbed my tablet before the PC started up and was looking to find it again.

What keyword and tags have I followed? What was that page? How far have I scrolled down.

I don’t remember. By all demons, I want to! The picture has burned into my mind, that page. At times, I get vague doubts, but then I look at the background picture on my iPhone. I would recognize that pretty face in a million. It was her.

I’ve lost her again.

I miss her, I’d trade breathing for her smile, just once again.

[exstudentgirlfriend-blog]

how the love of my life started

I’ve met that girl when I went to study abroad. She had a bad moment with her bf that day I’ve bounced into her and a few jokes made her smile and forget. I told her I knew a pub with a cold ice tea that would cheer her up. It was a lie, but a random pub worked out nonetheless. The moment she dived with her fingers through my curly short hair, I had lost any doubts it was not the ice tea that made her stay until midnight with me.

She was always leaving for the weekend to her bf, but was nearly never talking about him otherwise. The weeks were ours. I met her every day. She was one of those shy girls that you had to get trusting you to get her going. But then she became a blast. Her student job as librarian in a tiny University library made the stereotype complete, but also gave me/us moments I’ve never had again in my life.

I wonder if I can get 10 followers who care to hear more.