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i don't do bad sauce passes
Cosimo Galluzzi
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Peter Solarz

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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Not today Justin
tumblr dot com

tannertan36

PR's Tumblrdome
AnasAbdin
One Nice Bug Per Day
trying on a metaphor

Origami Around

Love Begins
will byers stan first human second
ojovivo
occasionally subtle

#extradirty

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@externalconceit
PINNED POST FOR MOBILE USERS
|| Rules || Bio || Verses ||
BLOG: UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
Clarice Lispector, An Apprenticeship, or, The Book of Delights
annoying when shows set in the medieval period have the women with thier hair just long and unstyled and out . girl go put on your wimple girl 🤦♀️
like there are so many fun medieval hair and headgear options, it's so boring just seeing loose beachy waves meant to appeal to 21st century beauty standards
put that hot prince in a gay little hood with an ostrich feather or so help me god
Happy New Year!
[Shar relevant for about twenty reasons.]
Dolly Parton in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982)
Phineas and Ferb Season 5 Episode 6b // Lord of the Firesides
@imagosequence
[ I don't actually know where I found this, but here are some photos of Ka.te B.ush for an album cover.
This has unfortunate Shar energy.
The presence of Apocalypse alone cast such a long shadow that he could be felt before he was seen. Even more so with the interlocking, complex grids that made up the Eternals. Little scratches in the back of their minds, as if a gnat was buzzing around in their skulls that they could not brush away. At least until one found their heart wretched from their bodies and life force consumed. Then, as though intended all along, the gnat would be squished and the buzzing would stop.
At least for a little while.
The Great Apocalypse observed Shar for the briefest time before he gave a response of his own, voice slow and deliberate. Nothing the First did was ever fast paced.
"Fret not. I am not here for any matter that might concern us leaving on worse terms." He stated. "Simply to observe."
@speechbbls
His voice reverberates through her like the ripples from a stone dropped in a well-- no, he is the stone, and Shar is the water. The stillness of her night has been plunked into turmoil. Mess! Mess everywhere!
"You are not my husband," she points out, though the very idea of their people constrained by the ways of humans is laughable. (She swallows down the urge to laugh.) As if she hadn't died giving birth to a bastard child. As if the Externals gave a thought of virtue and marriage. "Yet you stand at my threshold. When last we met..."
The weight of his presence threatens to crush her.
"You tore my heart from the tender flesh of my breast and crushed it twixt your teeth." For the first time, she laughs. "'Fret not!' says he!"
The threads of her creation snap as she tears one hand away to slap over her mouth, back stiff and eyes large as she watches him.
@speechbbls with Apocalypse for testing out thread editing!
"A visit from our own thread of Evolution." Or Destruction. The translation as to what Aspect En Sabah Nur represents has been debated over the centuries. (What Shar knows is that his presence is ever a Catalyst.) Her hand shakes slightly--only a moment--as she weaves a fledgling reality into existence between her plump fingers.
(She's a princess with a spindle and the wretched old witch casting curses all at once.)
Her eyes dart up to meet his, then back down to her task. "Pray tell you've come with good intentions."
Playing patty cake with an External was... risky. Even for Cassandra. They didn't die for long, and had long memories and friends. Well... maybe not friends. Cassandra knew from experience, godly beings had a hard time playing nice with one another.
"The death of so much more. The Shi'ar Empire will never recover from my visit." She let that hang in the air, before putting her hands behind her back.
"It's good to know I'm known by Externals."
@defyxoblivion
A spirited rendition of ""Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall" sounds when--or if--the telepath brushes too close to Shar's mind. well, that's certainly a... deterrent, if roughly the equivalent of someone standing outside covered in honey and going 'shoo!' at the ants threatening to swarm them.
'TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND! EIGHTY-FIVE BOTTLES OF BEER--'
"Slavemasters." Her lip curls in a little moue of contempt. "Conquerors."
Oh well!
"I daresay you belong in their annals of notoriety--and after your little tête à tête with the Phoenix?" Cassandra's known that primordial force of fire, taken it into herself as it burned with the fire of endless suns. "Riveting!"
She leans in again, her smile never faltering as the heat of her breath brushes Cassandra's face. Shar taps her temple, one blonde curl slithering around her forefinger like a snake before retreating behind her ear. "Of course, we know you. Our sibyl--" though Burke is a bit male for the role-- "foretold your ascent. We knew you before you had a name."
'EIGHTY-FOUR BOTTLES OF BEER--'!
DOLLY PARTON THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS (1982)
For all those monstrous muses out there! Be cautious if you’re not comfortable with mentions of body horror, blood, and violence. There is also plenty of cursing in this meme. Special thanks to @vriisket for helping me come up with a lot of these!
“I, uh… I’m having a hard time believing you’re anything close to human.”
“Hey! Wanna see me shove a tentacle through someone’s eye socket?”
“I’m pretty sure human anatomy doesn’t work that way, but okay!”
“Oh, shit, dude! Nice horns! Can I touch them?”
“Have you come to destroy reality as I know it, or are you a benevolent kind of monstrosity?”
“What the FUCK is going on with your face?”
“Y’know what? I’m not even going to ask about all of the eyes.”
“How do you go to the bathroom?”
“Do those teeth serve ANY purpose?”
“Is that slime acidic?”
“If I touch you, will I die?”
“Dude! You can’t just go around, smashing your enemies into walls with those… those… Whatever those are!”
“I can devour my enemies whole, and I will.”
“Are… Are those…? Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
“If I promise to worship you as the new all-powerful divine ruler of our worthless dimension, will you let me live?”
“Swear your loyalty to me, and you might just survive the end of the world.”
“Back in my home dimension, we used to eat planets and stars for fun!”
“Have you ever had to pick out the bony remains of some poor human who dared to question your authority from your teeth?”
“You’ve got me scared to even disagree with you on simple things, dude. Put those claws away!”
“Do you know what a shower is?”
“I eat hearts. Literally.”
“And what sort of unspeakable horror have I upset this time?”
“Do you melt when in direct contact with water?”
“Whoa! …Lovecraft would be proud.”
“Did I step into an H.R. Giger exhibit?”
“I don’t think I would really mind if you took over our world! I mean, you look pretty cool, and I don’t think you could do any worse than our current world leaders.”
“So… do you bleed? Like, at all?”
“I am sufficiently horrified and all you did was move three feet.”
“My blood looks like a rainbow!”
“Are you, perhaps, related to Cthulhu?”
“I’ve got several tusks here with your name on all of them.”
“I was born from human agony.”
“What? Did you think I would shift forms to look more like one of your species? Please!”
“Wait, so… You can shapeshift?”
“Why do you only have one eye?”
“That is some weird blood ya got there. Why isn’t it red?”
“Are you able to see more colors than humans?”
“Oh, shit! I didn’t think that stupid summoning spell would actually work!”
“How long have you been watching me from the shadows?”
“Please don’t eat me! I don’t have any nutritional value!”
“Do you know the secrets of the universe? If so, can you teach them to me?”
“I NEVER want to encounter you when you’re mad EVER again! That was disturbing on SO MANY levels!”
“Morality is stupid, and so are you if you think I’m gonna abide by human morals.”
“Okay, like… This question has been bothering me a lot lately. Do you eat people? Is that rude to ask?”
“WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY MOUTHS? WHAT’S THE POINT?!”
“I’m starting to think releasing you from your ancient prison was a mistake.”
“The more arms you have, the more hugs you can give! Right? Right?? That’s… That’s why you have so many arms, right?”
“Please eat our president. We don’t like him.”
“No, no, no! NO! I am SO not ready for another monster war!”
“Look what I can do with my hands!”
“Are all of those eyes really necessary? Like, really?”
“How did you fit through the door?”
“Are emotions just a human thing? Do you feel emotions?”
“That’s species-ist, pal.”
“It’s called aflehiba, but you humans wouldn’t understand.”
“From one monster to another… What the fuck?”
“FUCK OFF, JOHN! YOU’RE NOT EVEN TASTY!”
“Would it hurt you if I cut off one of your legs?”
“YOU FOOL! YOU’VE SUMMONED THE GREAT- are those marshmallows?”
“Aww, yeah! Monster party!”
“I never thought anyone could be the living embodiment of every paradox and optical illusion in existence until I met you. So, from the bottom of my heart, I just want to say… Go fuck yourself.”
“So does… does that always do that?”
“Humans and their stupid concepts of ‘good’ and ‘evil.’ Don’t they understand that their lifespans are too short to care about morals?”
“How long do you live? And how long is that in years?”
“Look… I know you’re not Satan, but, uh… Not today, Satan.”
“I accept you as our new god! …Please don’t eat me.”
“Not all monsters are bad, kiddo. I just happen to be one of the worst ones in existence!”
“What’s the deal with deals? Why do you want to make them so badly?”
“Nah, buddy! I don’t do contracts. My guardian always told me never to trust weird eldritch horrors offering contracts in dark, abandoned alley ways.”
“Can you even die?”
“Is that a tooth or a claw?”
“Can you tell me the exact time and date of my death?”
“I could kill you right now. I really could! So don’t test me.”