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Just for once I want to be loved whole-fully by someone.

Is that too much to ask for?

You told me things, You weren't supposed to say. You taught me things, I shouldn't have known. That's when we both realized, We weren't meant to be where we are.

we weren't for each other

Throw me thorns, bloods, and words; I would not move even a bit.

Call me rude, heartless, and selfish; I would not be anxious nor teary.

Kill me with knife, bare hands, and gun; I would not fight back nor stop you.

Because I had enough. I had enough. Enough.

Darling there is nothing more painful than seeing you suffer because of me. But because I had enough, —.

Feelings are toxic. It's some kind of a disease. It spreads easily, fast. One night was full of phone calls, the morning after were eyes filled with tears.

Why

When you fall into a place you haven't been to, will you still remember the same old ugly places we spent most of our times together?

I wish to hear a No

Just for my own health, I have decided not to think of you for a week or two.

theprocast

I’m like a jigsaw puzzle nobody can put together because I purposely show different pieces of myself to different people. Nobody ever sees the whole picture… they never truly see ‘me’ in my entirety, just small aspects I have polished and refined enough to deem them ‘acceptable’ to put on show. I’m not ‘fake’… I am in fact very genuine but I keep a lot hidden because I know that knowledge is power… and it is only if you give someone the knowledge of who are in your entirety that you give them the power to hurt you.

Ranata Suzuki (via theprocast)

Someone put my thoughts into words, thank you.

Several times, you’ll fall – bound from which you thought you wouldn’t be. You’ll run out of tears and words and heavy feels will lit up the flame inside your heart. You’ll be out for awhile, to nowhere you assume to be your happy place. On that very moment, What will matter is how you want to gain. What will touch is how deep the pain of the past caused you to bleed. What will count are the things unsecured and left awhile. No matter wherever the discovery may take you, no matter how far it could be, you'll always end the day, "why am I here again?"

Bec the journey already healed u

My heart is filled with thoughts my mind couldn't hold any longer.

You can never perfectly define what depression is til you get the chance to meet this horrifying moment: When the flames inside you turn your fear to dusts that eventually suffocate your lungs -- it does not ache but deep deep deep down there, you are partially dying. Slowly, then all at once. Depression are the most dull sceneries, sometimes. You may even end up late at night wondering what is bothering you. And not even a drop of tear will fall from your eyes. You feel the nothingness yet you know something is about to break your invulnerability.

You know, “I believe in you” can sometimes be a lie. Since you believe a person by showing him/her your actions, doesn’t saying “I believe in you” means you’re just half way through it? And to just settle a little fire you’ll say it not because it’s real but because you have doubts?

That I thought of

Depression isn't really something that aches inside you, most of the times, it's just those of the dull moments. One night you jump into your bed, flip your pillow to your face, suddenly stare at the ceiling wondering what's wrong and what has been done. The hardest part of it is when you yourself end up not knowing what the problem is. When there are no options nor decisions to make. When you're trying to figure it out but comes up with black outs. Sooner or later, not knowing what is depressing you will be unfortunately [also] the thing that will depress you even more. Depression can kill you inside, little by little, then all at once.

theprocast

People often ask me “Why do bad things always happen to good people?” and I wish I had an answer for them. I wish I had words to justify why the most selfless people seem to endure the most sadness and pain whilst the most selfish seem to live a carefree existence. But I’ve often noticed that the people we think of as ‘bad’… the heartless and selfish, the hateful and cruel… are exactly the kind of people who take what they want, shift their bad luck onto someone else or steal someone else’s happiness whenever they possibly can. If there’s a way they can work it so someone else will be on the receiving end instead of them – they will. I know that doesn’t explain things beyond all control such as sickness, injury, bad luck and suffering…. But the thought that always comes to mind when I think of those things is the loving nature and gentleness of spirit of the people who endure them…. They’re always the strongest of us… Even though they’ve got every reason to fall apart they never do – they stay strong for the people around them… They’re the kind of people that, despite their suffering, would never wish their pain on anyone else - not even their worst enemy. In fact, despite everything they’ve been through they are so often the people who’ll do anything to alleviate someone else’s pain… And sometimes I wonder if on some karmic level they’ve chosen to carry that burden… just so someone else didn’t have to…

Ranata Suzuki (via theprocast)

Everything they need to hear from me -

Because in the end of the day, you'll realize, no matter how much effort you exert for a person to love you back -- when he does not give a shit about it, he'll never will, sweety.

Ikr

if i ask you to list things and persons you love, will yourself even come close to your mind?

Ugh

One moment I am perfectly fine, suddenly I am being rushed to the hospital. I don't understand moments anymore.

Just because I don't know where to go doesn't mean I am already lost.

It takes time to figure out life-worthy tracks

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