im in the house like carpet

he/him, adult, aroace trans man. may post/reblog suggestive things.

[extreme-normalcy]

ok sqq is such an interesting and funny character it makes me want to write him

the way he acts makes me think of like… like a dad, for some reason. but a play-pretend father. he’s allergic to making himself seem bothered, ESPECIALLY by positive emotions. he acts like a dad who didnt want this cat at all, i really dont care about this cat guys it’s just another mouth to feed grrr, but then you see him petting or cuddling with the cat anyway

i’d almost wanna reread some scenes to recontextualize things. the lack of much commenting from sqq (aside from “cant believe i’m going gay with the male lead”) makes me feel like theres so many scenes where his fear or disgust are actually just… mislabelled attraction. like the ending is just the result of being slowly dragged out of his denial, finally relaxing his hands and no longer clawing at the ground. accepting his fate.

it’s an angle of “straight” guy realizes he’s maybe a little gay that i havent seen before. just a quiet, weary acceptance.

[extreme-normalcy]

when when the books i wanna read are all checked out

fuck my bookless holdpilled life

[extreme-normalcy]

6/7, R

[extreme-normalcy]

“Instead, he only became more and more composed, more and more patient.”

something about this line just hits so hard. the rest of the page is overwhelmingly sweet of course, but that idea—the longer he waited, the more patient he became. that image sticks really strongly in my mind. it’s a deep breath in written form

[loveridden1999]

once i permanently get rid of my headaches then you'll all see

[sashasactivities]

been a bit since i've made a quiz, but i finished disco elysium for the first time a few months ago and it perhaps changed my life so here is a quiz! note: knowledge of game is required to answer some questions. unless you are just here for the vibe, then have fun lol!

some knowledge of the game is required to answer questions, quiz has all 24 skills and 19 questions! interested in more quizzes? find me at

quiz made: may 2026

[extreme-normalcy]

*heartbreaking* being forced to filter out the tag of something you like because you havent caught up yet

[anglaised]

like i do consider my beliefs stronger than the average liberal feminist but i have 0 desire to use terms like radfem bc it is already tied to behavior and grouping that go against my core beliefs it’s just stupid like sure maybe there’s 5 of u that arent transphobic but thats 5/10,000………..not good numbers

[extreme-normalcy]

the internal observer can never be objective. you can only trust the judgments of an external observer, not your own

but why even is that? why are your own words so weak? everyone is inside themselves, either looking out or further in. no one holds objectivity, we’re all guided by thought and feeling, colored by our lives and flesh and everything

why is it that youre not allowed to hold a certain belief that’s subject to change? is it not possible for you to simply trust your own opinions? youre allowed to believe and feel something, and, once new information arises, update that accordingly. thats not hypocrisy, and its certainly not immoral.

youre not a bad person for any of this

there are always so many underlying assumptions going on, split-picosecond synapse firings in my head that i never notice. i think this is one of the big ones—the assumption of an observable, objective reality, and to whom said reality belongs to.

in the lovely little place in my head, reality is owned by other people. i may build entire worlds through my own perceptions, but as soon as anyone says something to the contrary, those worlds fall apart instantly. i fail to account for the fact that those contrary words are nothing but their own perceptions

inherent to this framework is the idea that im somehow lesser than others. it worms its way into every, single, interaction, completely imperceptible so long as everything is going well. so long as i never have problems, and better yet never Cause problems, surely i can continue my carefree existence and die at a healthy old age, totally fulfilled

[909th]

if you fall from grace enough times eventually you’ll get really good at sticking the landing

[extreme-normalcy]

as lame as it is to get any sort of social advice from reddit

“be more external” is an idea that has completely changed how i view things.

socializing is an external skill, its not internal. youre not supposed to sit and analyze, youre not supposed to be thinking about yourself too much really at all. youre supposed to be focused entirely on whats going on outside your head.

you shouldnt be thinking “what kind of impression am i giving off? what do they think of me?” thats focusing on yourself, its internal. you should instead be focusing on how they are feeling, what they are saying. you take care of their thoughts and feelings, while they take care of yours

[extreme-normalcy]

wooooowww would you look at that, its bedtime and am i asleep??? Very much not so

maybe my adhd meds are at fault for this. if so that really does suck huh.

idk mannn

im thinking abt so many things. what im going to do tomorrow, how to be more social, submitting that form for a work permit, and oh how far away is the city hall again? and maybe i should get a haircut soon, like actually soon. maybe instant noodles for lunch. id really better clean this place

just when i think my thoughts are getting soupy, some other Idea pops into my head and wakes me up again. god just shut up!!!!! its really not important at all right now, ok?????

[extreme-normalcy]

first japanese class tomorrow!!! yahoo yippee yay!!!!

[extreme-normalcy]

heeaaaaddddacheee

but i must purge some words from my head, hoping doing this will make my adhd calm down for once

many exciting things are about to begin. the past month has felt like its taken forever. its very strange to exist in this little in-between state; half-tourist and half-actually-living-here.

ive been feeling like a nuisance to everyone for simply existing, for no reason at all. think ive just been overwhelmed with the desire to not screw things up. really, really getting caught up in trying to not be in the way of people, to take up as little space as possible.it really is my own problem though. sometimes, you really do have to just take a deep breath and fully relax. remind yourself its okay to exist and live in a public space. its a little silly, but its nice to take your time when out and about

anyway, so this in-between state. it really is strange, feeling the pressure of needing to be frugal and money-conscious while Also having so much free-time in another country. the desire to do touristy things is so, So strong. i still want to visit the ocean some time.

but at least starting tomorrow, classes officially begin. i wont be going to campus until tuesday, but still. im so excited to learn, to meet people. it’ll be nice to finally have a purpose in being here. i think the purposelessness is what added to the strangeness of the past month; being here for a specific reason, yet being unable to carry out that reason. it makes you look for new reasons to be here, like tourist experiences and food and whatnot. i dont think ive ever been capable of simply living—no projects, no work, no structure given to me by someone.

this was preferrable to immediately jumping into studying though. plenty of time to settle into living here

ah, its getting late. well, goodnight

[extreme-normalcy]

crazy how boredom can affect you mentally

having no main Thing to keep myself occupied, no obligation to interact with people and be in a shared space, ive found myself focusing on all the wrong things

overeating, constantly thinking about what my next meal or snack will be because i have nothing else to plan for or look forward to. getting sucked into yt shorts, my feed for which is utterly filled with recipe tiktok reuploads and food reviews and nutrition content… yeah that wasnt helping

and now, ive noticed a big resurgance in classic, teenager-esque self-consciousness. feeling really bad about my skin, how red my face gets, my hair, not being able to pass, etc. clothes ofc. and i think i realized that, what all of that boils down to is worrying about how others will perceive me

and i think, this sudden resurgence in these worries comes from having a lot of free time, and not using it to talk to new people—which i want to do. i just have like, a really weird mental barrier towards entering social interaction without pretense (school, work, party, whatever). couldnt possibly be social anxiety hahahaaaa

but i think a lack of regular, successful socialization with people irl definitely contributes to a fixation on appearance

[scramratz]

How you gonna be a transphobic cis gay man and turn around and call your asshole a “boypussy” stolen valor mf

[to00fu]

back to my roots