texas giraffe update:
đ catch me if you can, suckers đ
Wishing you all a fat and happy, "catch me if you can" summer
Noah Kahan
đ
Not today Justin
Keni

tannertan36
One Nice Bug Per Day
Claire Keane
Mike Driver

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macklin celebrini has autism

bliss lane
Jules of Nature
taylor price
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sade Olutola
todays bird
hello vonnie

#extradirty

titsay
đ©” avery cochrane đ©”

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@sunlightletter
texas giraffe update:
đ catch me if you can, suckers đ
Wishing you all a fat and happy, "catch me if you can" summer
something to look forward to.
Iâm never over Ilya, still dick deep in Shane trying to be all sweet, kissing on him, stroking his leg, fully thinkin theyâre basking in post orgasm glow, and the absolutely bewildered âWhat???? Shut up???â he lets out after Shane complains about the bed being messy now
Shane honey never let them know your next move. They say zig you zag! Your situationship fucks you so good you come hands free, barely come down from the high before offering a mild complaint. Thatâs how you keep them addicted!!
Shane Week Day Two Favorite Look: In the Hospital
Heated Rivalry (2025-)
I will make a beautiful life for myself no matter how long it takes. I will I will I will
I know it's fun in fics but I truly don't think Shane/Ilya would be that open about their sex lives in the Centaurs group chat, they'd really want to keep it professional, but I do think it would take the Cens like half a season to notice that they often both went radio silent in the chat at the same time or disappear from a party at the same time. So the joke is that they're leaving to have sex. They're not texting back because they're having sex. But it's really not serious, they're probably just having lunch without their phones or watching Netflix in the hotel room. Like yeah it's funny to wiggle their eyebrows suggestively when Shane/Ilya come back from the bathroom together but obviously they weren't hooking up in the bathroom, that would be unhinged.
Except, you know, they definitely fucking are.
The recent hot VS cold polls have made me realise that a lot of people have no idea how to cool down.
As someone from a hot country that's regularly on fire, here's some tips:
WATER IS YOUR FRIEND! WATER! IS! YOUR! FRIEND! You can transfer SO much heat into this bad boy! You cannot cool down without water!
Wrists under the cold tap. Splash your face and the back of your neck. Fan yourself.
In some countries you can buy a little handeld fan with a water sprayer.
Damp tea towel around the neck. Stick an ice pack in there on hotter days.
Half fill a water bottle with water, stick in freezer. If you use a bottle with a straw, make sure it's lying on its side with the straw side up and out of the water. When frozen top up the rest of the way with tap water and off you go.
Desperate to cool off? Wet T-shirt. Sit in front of a fan. This will nuke it, just don't get hypothermia and don't fall asleep like this.
Cold showers are also your friend in summer. Some people get psyched up by these. Personally, I sleep like a baby, so I'm good to have them before bed. Just keep in mind that it takes a bit of time for the cool to circulate, so your body will tell you that you're colder than you actually are. I find that when I have cold showers I need to step out of the spray when I think I'm cold... I'll just wait, and thirty seconds later the temperature has evened out and I actually need to step under again. Rinse and repeat until you maintain coolness even after stepping out for a bit.
If you can't do cold showers, turn the cold shower on anyway and just stick your arms under. When they're cold, lift your arms up above your head. The sensation of cool blood draining into your body is fucking weird and kinda unpleasant but less unpleasant than being hot.
Feet in a tub of water with ice. Blood naturally flows to your extremities when hot, so take advantage of this. If you don't have a tub of ice water, sticking a wet rag on your feet in front of the fan works too, it's the less powerful version of the wet T-shirt.
Drinks lots of water but make sure that water has electrolytes as well. Stay in the shade.
Keep air circulating. Fans don't actually cool rooms down, they just help transfer heat from your body to the moisture on your skin or the air via evaporative cooling.
Block north facing windows early in the morning so the sun doesn't get in. If you're in the northern hemisphere, this is opposite for you. Keep in mind that if your home is brick, the bricks will still heat up and slowly release heat into your home even after the sun goes down so this will only do so much.
If it's hotter inside than outside, close all your windows but two, making sure they're on opposite sides of the house/unit you're in. Point a fan out of one window, making sure that the doors between the rooms with the open windows are all open. This will help create a mini pressure system in your home, pulling cooler air in and pushing the hotter air out via the fan. Bonus points if you can get that fan high up where the hot air rises; even within a single room the top is much hotter than the air by the floor. Adjust the amount of open windows based on how many fans you have, but generally you want more windows with fans open than windows without fans to keep the pressure correct.
Obviously, use your common sense for these. Not everything WILL work for you, just use the stuff that does and adjust what needs to be adjusted. Some of these will be impossible to use in the workplace but others you can still use. Others are best used at home. If humidity impacts your ability to use any of these, get a dehumidifier if that's an option, or use more ice instead of evaporation.
Also keep in mind that the skinnier you are, the faster these will work. More fat means more insulation, means more heat, so you may need to be more patient with some of these or use them in combination.
Bringing this back for my dying mutuals
the sweet little shin kiss is so dear to me
HEATED RIVALRY PRIDE WEEK †day 1: sex
#chin kisses my beloved
i know in my heart that shane is the most obnoxious sick person of all time
not because he's a baby a la classic man cold
but because he will AGGRESSIVELY try to pretend he is not sick
he is trying to gaslight others but ALSO himself
he has a gold medal immune system thank you he did NOT get taken down by ill pikeling spreading Elementary School Plague to him
not happening
as an itty bitty he lied so he wouldn't have to skip hockey, and that has NOT changed as an adult
his true toxic trait is that he WILL be typhoid mary in that locker room if it means he doesn't have to stay home and miss playing
the majority of the struggle when shane is sick is just making him ADMIT he is sick
Tags via @penandinkprincess
also CACKLING about the way this looks on the outside.
like. no one else on the team understands Hollander Illness Behavior yet, so they're teasing ilya about being overprotective because shane is SO underplaying it and meanwhile ilya is just, "no, i am so fucking serious. get a medic and then call an ambulance."
and shane who is barely on this realm of existence and about 0.2 seconds from having Involuntary Floor Time is just, "don't worry :) i'll just take an advil or something :)"
WHICH IS NOT HELPING EVERYONE ELSE UNDERSTAND THE MOTHERFUCKING GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION, SHANE, NO MORE CONTRIBUTIONS AT THIS TIME FROM YOU, THANK YOU
@nirby-wirby
the idea that ilya was trying to be loving and let shane come to his own conclusions that he was sick and give in to being cared for because they're still early in their marriage and he thinks that's still possible
only for The Appendixing to happen and shane in the aftermath losing his faking it privileges as a result because APPARENTLY his shifty ass will just "no thank you" his own body THROUGH A FUCKING! MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!
@dragoonthegreat
CACKLING
i also feel like part of the problem is that he IS so good. yeah his fever is 102 and he can't really see straight and gravity is applying to him unevenly, but he is still making goals. would that goal have happened if he was at home?? GUESS WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO KNOW.
the idea of the team thinking they can rat him out to ilya (at home on temporary injury reserve) being SO darkly funny to ilya. he WISHES he had the authority to just make shane admit he's sick and rest. you would think someone obsessed with their health in every other way would take illness seriously enough to rest when he needs to.
AND FUCKING YET.
he makes it into the locker room before his body goes "okay night night time" and he just goes DOWN
but he held it together SO well in the interview that people see the ambulance coming to the arena and start speculating about fucking EVERYONE
EXCEPT THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO ACTUALLY GOT A WEE WOO TAXI RIDE
he's still out for the next one and announcers are like, "wow, bad luck to have a player end up in the hospital last time and hollander out on this one" and ilya is just -_-
because he's not going to tell on him BUT FUCK'S SAKE, SHANE
shane in the fucking stratosphere after surgery: TWO appende-appen-appenbyebyes. one more than ANYONE else on the team. that's called-that's called WINNING, babe.
ilya, exhausted, cannot believe they have ended up here AGAIN: no it is not.
ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption âmy husband and the dog he didnât wantâ and itâs shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vetâs office whispering âyou were so brave, honey. weâll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girlâ and people everywhere lose their fucking minds
sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions
Unofficial Autism Post
an ode to shane's microexpressions
At least they know we are great at kissing. It was a pretty top-tier kiss. [The Long Game, chapter 32]
HEATED RIVALRY S01E02
hollanov at their kidâs autism assesment and the doctor says that autism can be genetic and asks if anyone in the family has autism and shane says no at the same time as ilya says yes
shane accidentally gets a formal diagnosis at the same time as his child
-itâs shaneâs idea to take their kid in for the assessment. Ilya ilya something is Wrong theyâre so scared of sounds they keep pulling Anyaâs hair they are crying a lot and walking like they donât want to touch the ground
-ilya goes moy lyubov. Nothing is wrong. I Promise you this is something we (I) can handle. -no ilya no something is Wrong we need to Fix It. Iâve looked at the tapes (observed my child) and Iâm noticing things Ilya we have to do something
-ilya: -_- okey.