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@extremepath
This is an independent roleplaying blog for Yoshiya โJoshuaโ Kiryu of The World Ends With You.ย
Written by Ciel/Basil!
This blog is not spoiler free. The interactions / relationships on this blog also will not be written in any chronological order, but I do tend to follow small (flexible) subplots which will - at times - be developed chronologically.
RULES | MUSE INFO | VERSES (TBA) | MEMES TAGย (ALWAYS ACCEPTING)
can't believe we had a battle of the joshuas this fine saturday
Joshua is prepared to start yelling again, barely paying attention to what's actually being said, what Yoshiya is actually trying to get across to him, up until the moment he realizes he's about to leave
For a moment, he's standing in The Room Of Reckoning. Megumi is gone, Hanekoma is missing, and Neku is in Shinjuku. He's completely lost control of his city and can do nothing but sit and wait. He's sitting in his room waiting for them to notice he's here. He's seeing things nobody else can see.
He is completely and utterly alone
"WAIT! DON'T GO!" the previous anger evaporates like it never existed in the first place, replaced by pure panic "NOT AGAIN!"
The panic halts him just as he's about to leave, just as he'd turned his head away from Joshua. There it is, that familiar feeling loudly making itself known, the very thing that had always been the greatest challenge for him. He sighs and smiles to himself, closing his eyes briefly as he stands there in a short-lived silence.
Yoshiya finally looks down at the other Joshua in front of him, that new smile that had taken shape lingering, though if one looked hard enough it did seem like it was a little softer - and certainly more amused - than the one he'd been leaving with, but it's hard to tell beneath the swarm of light.
"... We're really difficult creatures, huh?" He leans down and reaches out and gently taps his nose with the tip of his index finger, "So stubborn and aloof, but so needy... We reach out and then we push people away again before we realize what we're doing. 'I'll do better next time.' But when's that next time going to be? I always wonder about that and then I forget all about it again, like it never mattered in the first place."
Yoshiya meets Joshua's eyes directly as he's in his space like this, humming low behind his lips, feigning a thoughtfulness on a decision he's already made, "Well... you're not my responsibility, but it's honestly a little miserable to watch you, so I'll play. If you don't push me, I won't push back. Sound fair?"
"THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE PAST HIM!"
His eyes widen at his own outburst and he collects himself
"My apologies for not noticing sooner, but we are nothing alike" there's a bite to every word, filled with utter frustration that he's trying and failing to mask "Destruction was always the path I marched down, the only thing that changed was the reach"
He'd been too foolish to notice it for a very long time, but the moment he became Composer, the moment he became one with the city, the rot in his soul began to seep into it. Spreading and growing until the only path left was total destruction of everything the rot had touched
And to take it out at the source
Then...well, then He happened. Took everything Joshua had ever known and threw it off the 104 Building. Did things Joshua was never able to do. It was in His presence that he'd come to a very important conclusion
"Composer's aren't meant to last. Just to give what they have and then wait for something new to replace them"
That outburst isn't something Yoshiya will forget, but he doesn't entertain it, he just looks on at Joshua with exasperation as he continues on with his frustrated rant. It's like this version of himself took these past few years and let them go straight over his head, it was like he was still determined to never even try to be anything more than what he was. Just keep making himself smaller, lay down and let go. It's easier to avoid responsibility that way, isn't it?
Maybe it's hypocritical of him to think these things, he was never a person who could be easily swayed from his path, he couldn't see beyond the pain and the anger, the loneliness. He took the people around him for granted, and even after he realized he had, he still took the route of cruelty with one of those very people. Yoshiya did learn that he wasn't exempt from the expectations he held on others, that he'd failed to live up to them too, but to do better was easier said than done, and he's only just begun to walk that path...
Maybe that's why it irritates him so much to see this. To see another version of himself acting like this, being exactly the kind of person he hates and reminding him that he is - or hopefully now only has been that person too. It's almost like an invitation to stop trying at all; as though his own resolve is being tested at a time when it's most vulnerable. But his stubbornness had been shifted in a new direction, and he'd like to hope that direction is the right way to go.
The light slowly begins to envelop Yoshiya as he prepares to take his leave. "You're right, we are pretty different, aren't we? I've made it a point to stop being so pathetic. I've had enough of festering in my own misery, I want something more, and I'm going to get it whether They want me to or not." He stares at him for a long moment then, his brows furrowed tightly, but then he cracks a new smile... though it isn't exactly friendly. "But seeing as we're just going in circles here, I think I'm going to just exit this conversation. Maybe next time I see you, you'll actually have a little more bite than bark, hm?"
"You...He...that's different. We leech off Him. Its not the same thing. He's the one doing the growing we just..." he finally seems to notice the stance he's chosen and scowls "...copy Him"
He huffs as he tries to think of a different way to hold himself, realizes he can't think of one, and remains as he is
He is, quite frankly, incredibly annoyed that He got brought into this conversation. Though he supposes it was inevitable "Copying something isn't hard. It doesn't prove anything. I'm not sure how long you have had this job, but just because we started acting differently after we met Him doesn't change the fact we never changed before that"
He meets the other eyes with a raised eyebrow "Has the Higher Plane really never told you what we are? Or have I just been too presumptuous assuming we're the same thing at all?"
And to finish off his line questioning, he decides to ask the other for his opinion on a conclusion he'd come to when he'd found himself at one of life's little crossroads
"Why do you think Composer's can be replaced?"
Is that what he really thinks? That he's just copying Neku? Yoshiya can't help but feel slightly annoyed at the assumption, he is his own person, no matter what anyone will ever try to claim, and he didn't need anyone to dictate his entire personality. Maybe he's right in assuming that the two of them and their worlds are fundamentally different, but it looks more to him like Joshua is determined to be miserable. Were he in that same mentality, it would be the same reason, he knows it. It's a terrible habit he's never been able to break.
"I've been here more than long enough to know that the person I was when I started isn't the person I was three years ago. I didn't come into this wanting to send Shibuya straight into an Inversion, and I didn't want that for years." He scoffs, pulling his hands from his pockets so that they now sit at his sides, "Let me repeat myself then; I know what I am, and I know my place in this world. Whether or not that's different for you and I, I know that I don't want to be a good little dog for the Higher Plane even though they expect me to, and that you shouldn't either."
Finally, Yoshiya crosses his arms too, but it's not so much an imitation of Neku's little pout as it's just his own, "Were you anything at all before Neku happened? Honestly." An impish little smile touches his lips now, "Or maybe you're just so fixated on him that you can't see past him?"
He listens carefully, absorbing every word with a quiet intensity. Its made clear to him quite quickly there interpreting human heart differently
"A human heart is a luxury we traded for power. We can deal in empathy, sure, but human hearts grow. They adapt. Change and evolve" his thoughts stray to one particular heart that damn near frightened him with how fast it grew
"Meanwhile we're...stagnant. We're not like them, and we never will be again. All we have left is the memory" he says it like its an absolute truth, undeniable and impossible to change
But, as he looks away to avoid meeting his other's eyes, there's also a clear longing in them
Yoshiya extends him that same courtesy, never interrupting, just carefully listening to his thoughts... and unfortunately, by their conclusion, he finds that he just can't agree. But perhaps they're divided by a difference in the function of their worlds as well, there's a chance of that.
But that longing in Joshua's eyes isn't missed, and in one moment of quiet contemplation he acknowledges that he knows that longing, too. There will always be that part of him that mourns his inability to connect, no matter how much he tries to deny its existence. It's something that's stuck alongside him his whole life. A gap that he just couldn't cross. Being Composer didn't change much in that regard.
"That's a pretty interesting take, and I think I get where you're coming from." He shuts his eyes and sighs through his nose, "I can't claim to know how things unfolded for you, but I can't help wondering; Are we really stagnant? Would we have made the choices we did if we couldn't change?"
When Yoshiya opens his eyes again, he's got his gaze cast to the ground below, watching the people go about their day as it drifts away into the evening.
"Could we have been moved by someone's mercy if we weren't capable of that growth?" He shifts one foot back to rest the tip of his shoe against the rooftop, "I remember I didn't know how to feel at the time. I thought I was going to regret it. But - if you'll forgive me for getting sappy here - I started to feel something like hope, just a little, regardless of that despair I was trapped in." He glances up at his counterpart, "I don't think I could have spared Shibuya if that wasn't possible"
Joshua rolls his eyes "Don't insult me, if I was imitating our 'friend' I'd be asking you what laughter is"
He almost goes to assume the exact same position as his alternate self but catches it and instead folds his arms. It ends up looking like someone else they know
"You really still think you have a human heart? That you deserve to exist among any of them?" his tone is accusatory and almost dismissive, but the way he waits for an answer lets on that he's genuinely curious about the answer
"It's not about deserving, it's about knowing how to hold the distance, to exist with them instead of among them. We can't be in their world, it's true, but we have to be a part of our district; we have to feel it, to know its Music, know its Soul and the Souls of its people." Yoshiya does take note of that familiar posture, and there's amusement that settles into his expression. Is he pouting?
"To me, emotion is at the core of it, the further away we get from that the further we get from humanity." He reaches up to start to play with his hair, trying to meet Joshua's eyes as he does this, "Personally, I think it's important for us Composers - in spite of our lack of humanity - to continue to understand human emotion on such an intimate level. We shouldn't have to lose ourselves."
Yoshiya flicks his hair as he finishes toying with it, giving his counterpart a more playful smile regardless of the serious edge to his question, "So, I've got a little question for you... How would you define a human heart? I'm open to hearing what you're thinking."
give this post a lil like and i'll hunt through your memes tag today and see if i can find a thing to send
@dead-kids-calling | โ ย Do you dare still pretend to be human ? ย โ - Joshua THE LAST UNICORN | accepting.
"I don't pretend, dear." Yoshiya faces this question with full confidence, answering immediately and steadily, "I know what I am, I know I'm not human anymore, but I don't forget who I am... and that person I happen to be still has a human heart." He casually leans his weight over on one foot while he slips his hands in his pockets, and with a slight tilt of his head, he stares at his counterpart with curious eyes. "Don't tell me you're trying to imitate Mikagi."
extremely sleepy today so im just drawing, but i'd love to have some more things to start writing on this weekend soooo [blinks cutely at my sentence starter tag]
๐ฟ * ๐ง๐ฎ๐ซ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐ ๐ง๐๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ : ๐๐๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ : what grief does your muse carry quietly, and how do they cope when no one is watching? ๐จ๐๐ค : what gives your muse strength when everything feels uncertain? ๐ฅ๐๐ฏ๐๐ง๐๐๐ซ : what soothes your muse's mind when they are overwhelmed? how do they manage stress? ๐ซ๐จ๐ฌ๐๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ : what memory does your muse hold onto most tightly, and why? ๐๐ข๐ซ๐๐ก : when was the last time your muse had to start over, and what did they leave behind? ๐๐๐๐๐ซ : what traditions or values does your muse consider sacred? ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฒ : who or what has your muse clung to and why? ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ง๐ข๐ฉ๐๐ซ : how does your muse protect the people they love? ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ : what parts of your muse are considered hard to love, and how do they deal with that? ๐๐จ๐ฑ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ : what lies has your muse told to protect themself or someone else? how far are they willing to go? ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฌ๐ฌ : where does your muse feel most safe, what does that look like? ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ : what does endurance mean to your muse? ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ : how do they express longing, especially for something or someone that they think they cannot have? ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐ : how does your muse heal - physically, emotionally, spiritually? ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐จ๐ฅ๐ : what does joy look like for your muse? how do they let themself feel it? ๐๐ฌ๐ก : what has your muse lost that still haunts them? ๐ฒ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ : what inner wounds does your muse hide? do they hide it behind humour or confidence? do they hide it at all? ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ : what does love mean to your muse - how do they show it? how do they want to receive it? ๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฉ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ฌ : when your muse needs clarity - who or what do they turn to? ๐๐๐ซ๐ง : are there any details from your muse's childhood that sticks with them - good or bad? ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐จ๐จ : how does your muse handle change and adaptability - are they flexible or resistant?
"Aight." Whatever. Beat's actually thought of something he's more curious about right now anyway.
"So, I gotta question for ya instead. You got the inner circle shit with CAT-man, right?"
"You got any embarrassin' stories, yo?"
"Ahh... That changes things." Joshua hums as he starts to consider exactly which story to tell. He has plenty, he's known Sanae for so long...
"Hmm... What immediately comes to mind isn't so much a story as it is a fun fact. You might find it difficult to believe, but Hanekoma is superstitious about photos. He thinks it takes a snapshot of his soul."
As the brain freeze finally passes, Neku groans, both from the pain he just experienced and the somehow more excruciating experience of Joshua taunting him
"Why did I think that would do something?" He then spots and locks onto the nugget
With a somewhat frightening speed he snatches it and shoves it in his mouth, eyes shutting as he lets his head fall back onto the pavement to process and savor the taste in his mouth
"Fuck, that's good"
"And so he was healed." Joshua does a sarcastic little wave by wiggling his fingers at Neku as he walks back over to sit down where they'd been before, "Well, that fills the good deed quota for today."
He pulls his phone from his pocket to check it, not looking up at Neku while he speaks again, "Let me know when you're finished writhing in pain. Oh, and your face looks terrible, you should probably take care of that too."
cannot express how much i love writing this mfer
Neku somehow finds the time to flip Joshua off in the middle of borderline choking on the cone, and upon somehow actually succeeding and shoving the whole thing down he takes a moment to gasp for air
This gets cut off pretty quickly as the brain freeze induced by devouring an entire ice cream cone in one go hits him, and he falls to the ground, making a sound like a dying cat as he also flails like one in an incredibly pathetic display on the sidewalk
At least nobody in the RG can see him...and his sync rate just went up by roughly 10% as well!
Joshua does absolutely nothing to stop him, of course, even when he starts coughing, he's just enjoying his own treat while watching the consequences of Neku's hubris unfold. The final nugget is in his hand as Neku falls to the ground to lay in the agony of the brain freeze he so stupidly gave himself, but instead of eating it, he gets up to stand over him like a threat...
Yet, as though he was suddenly struck by some kind of benevolence, he drops the last nugget onto Neku's chest, smiling down at him gently.
Such cinematic poetry!
"Good job, Neku~"
"TIME IS REAL WHEN YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING JOSHUA!"
He completely fails to register the last comment, so caught up in the idea of Joshua not sleeping for WHO KNOWS HOW LONG
More then three years and he's saying it doesn't matter?! Is he DELIRIOUS from lack of sleep?? Is that the reason he's such a prick all the time???
He pulls himself up and grabs Joshua's arm "We are going back to my house and you are sleeping!"
There's no hiding the shock on his face when Neku suddenly snatches his arm, that's far outside of the reaction that Joshua expected him to have in circumstances like this. When his senses return and he can create some calm for himself again, he starts trying to work his arm out of his grip while he laughs, but it's half-hearted and a bit awkward. "I--- What? No. You can't be serious. I was just kidding, Neku."
Though, the more he thinks about this, the funnier it gets. He didn't expect Neku to be such a hen. The thought seemingly starts to pull him back into his composure completely, and his shoulders start to relax, his amused smile making its grand re-entry. "I can sleep, and I have my own place."
"Yeahhhhh so much much better. Cause my favorite food is ice cream. You're so generous having me go and get some"
Maybe if he tries shoving this thing down his own throat he'll choke to (second) death or the brain freeze will give him another dose of amnesia...actually, you know what? Its not the worst idea he's ever had
With that thought in mind he proceeds to start shoving the ice cream, cone and all, down his throat. Chewing on it only enough to get it to fit and looking like a wild animal
Joshua stops everything to watch, speechless and almost in awe as Neku tries his very best to consume the ice cream, cone included, in one go. A wild animal is a good description for what Joshua thinks he looks like right now, add rabid on there and you'll have a completely accurate one.
"... That good, huh?" And then he proceeds to take a bite out of one of the treasured chicken nuggets which he still held firmly in his monstrous little hands.
