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#glasgow #noiserock #hugandpint

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Cassette #52 with Adam Radziwanowski’s card. Adam hangs out in Kelvingrove Park practising his shadow boxing and handing these cards out to every woman he sees. It’ll be worth something someday if he ends up murdering someone.

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Cassette #51 with the severed arm of Professor Stephen Hawking.

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Track one from our new hit album Songs In The Key Of Meat.

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Col and me loved Mark E Smith. He was better than free booze, red meat and finding a tenner in a pair of old jeans. Did he fuck use any of those spices behind him, though. You can't add turmeric to speed.

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Cassette #43 with the last tooth of Shane MacGowan. Place in mouth to transport yourself into a drunken world of speedboating Kirstie MacColls until next Christmas.

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Cassette #42 with organic stock cube. Designed to look like bloody swab, but actually bespoke, handcrafted flavour parcel. Vegan friendly.

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Dear people of the US and Canada, you can now buy our records from this fine place instead of paying crazy shipping from the UK.

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Mangled ankles, sprained ligaments, ruptured cartilages, shotgun headaches, general laziness and working for the man. We fucked this year up by getting pished and making each other laugh, instead of getting half the shit finished that we wanted to. Here’s one of the few things we did sort out. Cheers to Ross ‘Magnum Dong’ McGowan for capturing our brilliance in between sniffing seats in the control room.

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Only Mike can judge us.

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Cassette #49 with (found) children’s ID card. Ideal for Never Been Kissed style undercover journalist shit. 

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Cassette #48 with John Wayne Gacy action figure.

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Standing here in our penthouse suite, watching the sun rise over Los Angeles, I still can’t really believe we won the Grammy for Best Mid-Nineties Chicago Noise Rock Ripoff Artist in the Glasgow and Strathclyde Area last night. At first, we thought they’d said we’d won a Gammy and had to quickly check that Adam Johnson wasn’t presenting us with it.

All these years of blood, sweat and tears have finally paid off. We’d like to dedicate this to our fans, the refugees of Syria and John Leslie.

Away to get MWI with Kendrick Lamar.

BELIEVE.

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Song for Unsane tribute album. DONE.

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THIS THURSDAY. GET FUCKING DOWN.

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Cassette #41 with a Fossil Shark Tooth. We spared no expense.