My Given Name is Lampshade @eyesocketsandsuits - Tumblr Blog

Friday has decided that the apartment is still deeply suspicious, but WILL come out for scritches

BIG update: Friday has since eaten some food, used the litter box, and decided her new and only home is the windowsill. Fuck the sink

#she’s a tree cat I think #so she likes being high

Friday has decided that the apartment is still deeply suspicious, but WILL come out for scritches

#I promise the rest of the bathroom has cat toys beds #she just decided to live beside the sink lmao

the new cat (Friday ?) is definitely Aware there are other cats in the vicinity

Goose is desperate to know what’s behind the door

Orso may be oblivious

#my dear little goose the cat #what’s behind the door is for me to know #and you to find out #I may have ruined my pet camera #by running water through it #but there was ANTS #):#I wish I could spy on Friday #but she may need the night to acclimatize #it’s a big day for her #(Friday)

got rid of ex boyfriend (boo hiss) and got new baby girl (cat)

SHOULD SHE BE NAMED: Sundae, Dorthy (Dotty), Boots, or Maggie ?

#I’m leaning Sundae

bummer

#man #idk #I wish my love life wasn’t always such a mess

[sees other table getting chips and salsa as I sit down]

“Can I get you anything”

chips and salsa

“We don’t have chips today”

💀

#ofc

you cook a man dinner and ride his dick and blow him and he STILL has the fucking nerve to say he doesn’t want to have a baby with you lol

#‘I still wanna be in a relationship’#of course you do lmao #I like #knew it deep down ?#but it’s still like a blow to the chest

as a lifelong earplug wearer, I think it’s absolutely ludicrous when people demand silence in a shared sleeping situation (eg hotels etc)

Like listen snowflake, if you’re such a light sleeper, they have an invention for that

#this guy told me to ‘walk softer’#and he was staying next door to me #like bro do you sleep in a deep cave system at home #it’s also almost 8am which is not an unreasonable time to literally be walking in my room

eyesocketsandsuits

me: [minding my own damn business]

fucking everything: SOON MEN WILL BE KICKING BALLS IN USA, ISNT THAT SOOO INTERESTING ?ISNT IT SO FUNNY ?? EUROPEANS WILL BE IN THE USA !! TO SEE MEN KICK BALLS !! WOOOOWWWWWWWW !!!!!!

me: :\

eyesocketsandsuits

#I JUST WANNA GET HOME #NOW THIS #FOR BALLS

me: [minding my own damn business]

fucking everything: SOON MEN WILL BE KICKING BALLS IN USA, ISNT THAT SOOO INTERESTING ?ISNT IT SO FUNNY ?? EUROPEANS WILL BE IN THE USA !! TO SEE MEN KICK BALLS !! WOOOOWWWWWWWW !!!!!!

me: :\

#I DONUT CARE #I DONT CARE #PLEAZE I DONT CARE

SO. My boyfriend’s friend/coworker (who I’ll call L) has been chatting up this other coworker (H). I have been deeply invested because 1) double date potential and 2) I live for the tea.

Things are in the beginning stages, L and H have only been on two sorta dates.

BUT ANOTHER COWORKER (who L has told about his interested in H) has ASKED H TO HANG OUT THIS WEEKEND.

L is DEEPLY betrayed and called my boyfriend, who god bless him, didn’t really know what advice to give.

Boyfriend immediately called me and I was like “L CANT BLOW THIS.” I told my boyfriend to pass on that L needs to NOT bring up the other coworker At ALL (lest he seem possessive) and instead needs to PLAY IT SO COOL and suggest a BETTER date (and should offer to pay to boot).

My boyfriend will pass along the message tomorrow morning but IM SO INVESTED I HOPE L PLAYS IT CHILL

#this other coworker was recently (?) in a long term relationship #I WILL UPDATE TOMORROW

baby (me) is gonna get engaged soooon (:

#alas I’m at a work trip #but hopefully before the end of the summer I have a rock on my hand #and then married by next fall #WAHOO #and then a baby

it never ceases to amaze me how entitled other people (including women but obviously men too) feel to comment on fat women’s bodies

and this goes beyond like, paparazzi and tabloids and are like, men commenting on women posting what they eat in a day and counting calories

I fear for young girls in this ozempic age, cause like. There’s this assumption that If You Are Fat, you don’t deserve dignity. That you choose to be fat. And even if you do, the gumption of others to not only judge you, but publically judge you, is astounding to me.

It makes a body shape be radical simply because you don’t bend to the pressures to take (honestly) understudied fat loss drugs ! Like god forbid a woman exist in a shape you don’t deem to be “”””acceptable””””

#and commenting on what people eat is so annoying too #“oh you don’t want this on your plate?’#like did I fucking ask you #it’s just appalling to me after the age of ‘body positivity’ that people still judge fat women #idk

eyesocketsandsuits

Facebook steals a lot of tumblr posts and they are almost incomprehensible because the Censor Police™ black out the words and it makes the post almost incomprehensible because we heathens swear constantly

eyesocketsandsuits

the joke here being I used “incomprehensible” twice in this post like an illiterate tumblr fool myself

Facebook steals a lot of tumblr posts and they are almost incomprehensible because the Censor Police™ black out the words and it makes the post almost incomprehensible because we heathens swear constantly

was talking to a 21 year old and mentioned that I used to write fanfic and post it on tumblr and he said “well that’s a respectable website”

made me feel old cause like ???? Tumblr ??? Tumblr the TRASH website full of horny goblins ???????!?!! RESPECTABLE ? TUMBLOOO DOT COM ???????!!!?!?!?!?! RESPEcTABLE ?????

#he asked if I posted fanfic on 4chan which goes to show how much the average male Gen Z knows about mid 2010s websites #like people used to ship the website 4chan with tumblr #but I don’t think that’s what he was referring to lol

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

My Given Name is Lampshade