ezra noodles

2spoky an apple a day keeps the ezzy away a german girl and an estonian girl combine forces admin k and admin dad noodle will conquer

[ezrapasta]

imagine VW working on a new album in the studio Ezra is hungry. they send rostam to buy shit. Ezra says "rostam, buy the one thing I love to eat the most, u know what it is" so rostam comes back with a pineapple. Ezra takes the pineapple and bites into it immediately. but he screams. tis not a pineapple . tis a capitalism. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS RISTAM " Ezra screeches. chris screeches. chris screeches. rostam is now crying. he's run to the corner. he's sitting in a ball like a scared hedgehog . "I don't think we can do this anymore.... " eRa sighs. "what?" rostam is sobbing. his shirt is wet with rainbow tears. "you're kicked out. but let the reason be between us so ur reputation won't be ruined. say u want to do solo work. I'm sorry rostam but u brought this on urself"

[ezrapasta]

ode 2 thee

i see faces every day 

glaring @ me in dismay

glance @ my rolex & sigh

and my friend asks me: why?

the reflection in the glass

is it a pain in ur ass?

this is but the real me 

can’t u see?

[ezrapasta]

a slice of pineapple hits ur head.

its a dark, cloudy night in ny city and ur drunk because ur friend had birth and u just rly wanted to party. u look up into the sky to be greeted with ezra koenigs face, lookin down at u bc ur less worth than her majesty koenig the 69th.

he makes a duck noise and spits more slices of pineapple on u until u die

goodbye world

-dadda noodle

[ezrapasta]

U sleep in the everlasting arms of ur teddy bear when suddenly a papagei (parrot) the twice ur size flies in ur window and proceeds 2 drop a dog-sized poop on ur head. This leaves u shocked when a yodelling jewish man kicks ur door open that was already open in the first place. "gtfo, motherfukker," the jewish man screams which scares off the papagei. "r u ok?" the man asks. "mhm" u answer. The man then comes closer and closer and starts licking the poop off ur head. When ur head is as clean as a baby's the man jumps out ur window into the twilight

[ezrapasta]

ezra walks down a street,

wondering who he’ll meet,

he sees green man,

t’was not his plan,

“ayy lmao,” the green man cries,

as a beggar on the ground dies.

[ezrapasta]

ur in class when suddely u hear a sound coming from the door. it is ezra. he cums in and takes ur pen. he starts sucking it languidly. ur teacher screams. everyone is quiet watchng ezra quietly. he starts crying. pineapples start flyin g from the sky. ezra catches one in his mouth. he starts cjoking. a katana emerges from his food hole. he chops ur teachers head off and procees to eat it by sandwoching it between 2 pineapple slices. skool'z out

[ezrapasta]

Hello my dear psychopaths we're now accepting suggestions, prompts n ideas 4 stories over the ask box Very welcome and pineapple sunglasses, Noodle D & other admin whos name i forgot

[ezrapasta]

kill my device - bring forth my vice

ezra walks home on a gloomy day in new york, tweeting on his device and chuckling at his h8rs.

he spots a female 10 from afar and steals glances between tweets. when he gets closer to her ezra realises that she looks creeped out. he realises that mby theres a dude she’s afraid of somewhere and ez looks around suspiciously. when he looks back at her to tell her tha t she is safe 5ever, he sees her taking out a taser and moVING IT TOWARDS HIM. ezra dodges it quickly, but sadly, a part of him does not make it. his device hits the floor, electricity making it jump around in a puddle.

“oh my god... i ---- ge t away fromm me!!” the girl cries

“i was only trying to help”

“but, i thought--”

“nevermind that. u see wHAT U DID?” ezra shouts as tears fall from his eyes, adding to the puddle. he picks up his phone and puts it in her face.

“my... my device”

“it’s just a phone, I'm sorry,okay? it was just self defence.”

“my device,” ez is weeping on the wet ground, water seeping into his luscious hair. the girl walks off, “creep,” she mumbles to herself. ezra,however, has exceptional hearing. he takes his device and licks it slowly. it starts glowing red. “this is ur last duty,” he whispers as the device starts screaming like a satanic goat. a red aura emerges from the ground around ezra. he throws his device toward the girl. the device goes directly inside her skull. the street is filled with screams as passers-by run for their lives. 

the device has fulfilled its last task. 

admin k

[ezrapasta]

ur at a restaurant and order the biggest pizza they have and there comes the waiter human and serves ur food but there r sunglasses on ur pizza and u ask the waiter wtf y r there glasses

the waiter looks at the pizza n says “it wasnt cool enough 4 da koenig” u look at the waiter for a rly long time but he just stares at the pizza then he continues to pick it up and make out with it

his tongue travels all the way down to the crusty crust, slowly lickin and biting it until he starts moaning loudly 

u flee from the restaurant hearing a faint “EZAR NOT AGAIN” comming from there

-dadnoodle

[ezrapasta]

theres a cow and u stroke its head very softly and the cow moos in pleasure. it opens its mouth ready to devour the tasty grass but ezra koenig comes out of its mouth grabbing ur shoulders "hELP" he screams loudly and falls down while showing off some serious booty during the process "I AM A TIME TRAVELER FROM 1876 IM HERE TO TELL U THAT OBAMA KILLS THE PRESIDENT" u screech in horror as the black haired man crawls around "buT ur ezra koenIG AND OBAMA IS PRESIDENT" HE LOOKS AT U IN AWE AND THEN PROCEEDS TO SKIN THE COW THE COW IS VERY CALM AND COLLECTED AND SINGING A SONG "i am tOO late" ezra says and steals ur shoes Hes gone Ezra koenig left u and ur skinless cow A single tear escapes ur eye as u peel off ur face and reveal ur tru indentity Ur obama U get out a gun ready to go and kill ur fke double and ezra koenig cannot stop u - daddynoodle

[ezrapasta]

Fruity Part 1 (feat alex turner aka uncle pepe)

Once upon a time there was a boy called ezra who always wore his red snapback saying "whore", so everyone just called him the lil'red ridin' whore. One day lil' red ridin' whores mother told him, he needed to bring wine and cake to his sick uncle. "But maaaaaaa...", ezra said. "I just rekt this shit russian whore in CoD, I dont wanna." "U will u lil whore', mother told him, and so ezra got his bike and said "fukkin bitch", to his mom. As he drove into the forest, the evil evil wolf called alex watched him. "Alex, don't watch him like a damn pedophile shithead!" Screamed his wife Miles in a high pitched voice and slapped him on the ass. "U shut the fuck up!!! I work 10 hours everyday to bring home money for u and the kids!! Let me have my damn fun woman!" Alex continued to watch lil'red ridin' whore and mumbled "Soon ull be inside me....." -admin dad noodle This is for that weird pineapple fan ok bye

[ezrapasta]

u hear a pounding on ur door and open it to find ezra koenig stumbling into ur room.

“what” u cry

“i need ur pineapples. ewheere are the pineppaleS!??” ezra screams, now tears falling down his face and forming a puddle in ur room on ur physics textbooks. ‘not the physics,’ you think.

“ezra why do u need my pineapples???” u r getting a bit agitated now.

“just hand over the pineapples, homeskillet”

u sadly do not have any pineapples. “there aint no pineapples here,ezra”

“there are no pineapples”

“what”

“english, motherfucker.”

ezra throws his english degree in ur face, leaving a huge papercut, takes a jetpack out of his pocket and flies out ur window, leaving u in awe.

u start crying and take off ur trousers. ur pineapples fall out. u have fooled the ultimate prankster. u win

by admin k

[ezrapasta]

is this the fate that half of the world has planned for me?

by admin k

[ezrapasta]

u walk downstairs and see ur mom with a bowl of luscious m&m’s. u go closer but u hear a faint screaming. 

u look closer at the m&m’s. they are ezra. they are all ezrA KONEGING

u see the ezras crying but u

u are so so thirsty for the ezras

theygaze into ur eyes, pleading,

as u devour the balls of yodelling ezras one 

by

one

by admin k

[ezrapasta]

u walk in the woods

it’s rly spooky and scary

suddenly a sound of drums in the distance startles u

a man starts yodelling and u feel the soundwaves coming toward u 

u run but u cannot get away

..

..

the yodelling men have consumed u

by admin k

[ezrapasta]

my friend asked me to translate smth but i wasnt at home when i was back she had it translated already

guess i was too translate

- ADMIN DAD NOODLE

[ezrapasta]

i even sorted them by size

- dad noodle