Ask Gabe

@f-inaskgabe

First off, I AM NOT MIKE KRAHULIK. I don't do the art for Penny Arcade, I don't live in Seattle, and I don't know/work with Jerry Holkins. This is purely for shits and giggles. Tycho's over here: http://aqueryintotychosmind.tumblr.com/ And over here: http://asktycho.tumblr.com/ And Charles is over here: http://shutyourpieholes.tumblr.com/

2,831 posts

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OOC POST

Where the fuck did all of you come from. Is there a PA-naissance or what.

#This blog has been dead for like 15 years who are you people

Why haven't you and Tycho been in the comic recently?

It's a long story involving whipped cream, a Chim-Char, and a fuck-ton of lawsuits.

Have you ever put a laxative in Tycho's drink? You should do it if you haven't already.

Wait, there are laxatives you can put in drinks?

Shit, I've just been putting them in his food! Awesome, I'll do that at the next con. He doesn't like pooping at cons, so this should be awesome.

Why would you HIDE his cloak? Couldn't you just cut it up into little pieces and give it to him as a birthday present?

Because, much as I would fucking love to see Tycho cry when he got those pieces, the unholy fury that would come after? Not so fun.

Like, literally unholy, by the way. Like, my buddy Jesus? He's seen some serious shit, and even he's like "whoa" whenever he sees Tycho.

If you could be Tycho for a day what would you do? ;)

Ooh, there's a Tycho question I like.

Hmm...well, first I'd take over the posts and tell everyone that reading was dumb, jesus, do I hate reading, and that I'm never, ever, ever playing DnD ever again, so no one should talk to me about it ever.

And then I'll take his cloak and hide it.

And I'd prob'ly shave my head to. Because why the fuck not?

may i have more of that mr mccounugay

More of what? Who the fuck's Mr. Mccoijah;dg-whatsit?

What do you want from me.

Tycho, how do you type with boxing gloves on?

OH MY GOD.

Hey, if anne had a blonde boyfriend, does that mean she has a brunette bestie?

Maybe? I dunno? I don't...I don't pay attention to Anne's friends.

Why are you asking me Tycho questions?

rack cit ybitch rack rackjk ciy bich

...

Um, I think you're new here. The Cthulhu questions go to Tycho. He knows that shit.

Hey Gabe, Happy Belated 4th of July WWWRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Are you fucking SERIOUS?!

It is (was, whatever) the fucking 4th of July! That was the birth of our motherfucking country! THAT WAS WHEN AMERICA WAS FUCKING BORN!

SO NOW WE'RE FREE MOTHERFUCKERS! WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT! WE CAN RUN OUT IN THE STREET IN OUR BOXERS! WE CAN SELL OVERPRICED MERCHANDISE MADE IN CHINA! WE CAN SWIM NAKED IN MOTHERFUCKING SWIMMING POOLS FILLED WITH MOTHERFUCKING SPRAY-CAN CHEESE, ALL RIGHT?! DO YOU PEOPLE GET THAT?!

...wow. Totally forgot where I was going with that. Um. Damn. Ahhh?

Hey Gabe, how's Mr. Tails doing?

I don't...I don't wanna talk about that.

Shit still hurts, y'know?

You're just jealous over my fucking flawless pecs! And my eighty-pack. Of abs.

Seriously, I have so many abs. Like, it's illegal.

#roleplay reblog #precipice week #Though it's been over a week #Welp.

Hi Gabriel! Did you ever take on a monster that was really cute and fluffy looking, but really vicious and ugly when angered?

Have you ever heard of the Merch?

Okay, so the Merch (it has some long fucking name, like Merchthosajfahghhaoeh;g or something, but that's dumb, so I call it the Merch.) is this cute little square thing. And that's really rad! And it offers its potions and wares and miniature versions of itself to people, and if you buy it, it's all happy and cute.

But if you say no...

We went up against it once, yeah? And Tycho was like "Keep buying its shit until it leaves!" But we had an intern at the time, Carl, and he was a little shit 'cause we mutated his dog or whatever. So he was like "Fuck this!" and didn't buy anything.

Then the Merch turned into the Fleshreaper, and shit went bad.

Also, Carl doesn't have a torso anymore. Which isn't too bad, because he was a little fucker.

((Will you be making a PSA when you finish the game so that we can ask you spoilery questions, or will you be trying to avoid them in general until the game's been out for a while?))

((Ideally, I'd like to wait until...well, prolly July, honestly, before we start getting into the spoilery questions, so everyone's up to speed. I'll prolly make a PSA around, I dunno, the fifth or sixth? And even then, I'll actually be good and tag my posts so that people can tumblr savior it.))

((This is a PSA))

((Since it is still TECHNICALLY Brute!Week, I felt this needs to be said.

GO BUY EPISODE 3.

That is all.))

#ooc post #precipice #((srsly guys))#((but no spoilery questions because I haven't got very far yet))

shutyourpieholes

What about that time in france?

….or do… you mean my house *here*? Because I had to move back into my old house, and I Know you dont know where I am, or I;d be sort of a red gelatin caused by *fists* by now.

Anyhow, he didn’t paint anything- he just did something horrifying in my hall closet. 　

f-inaskgabe

Anything with France doesn’t count. Fucking France.

As for your closet? Best thing I’ve ever done with semen.

#roleplay reblog

So was you painting a huge red cock on the door of Charles's apartment a hallucination, then? I didn't think opium caused hallucinations.

Wait, what? I've never...I've never even been to his house.

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