ethel cain // willoughby tucker, i'll always love you rp meme.
edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!
i wanna die in this room.
i'm easy to hate, easy to blame.
come on, hurt me. i'm wide open & deserving.
please don't leave me, i'll always need more.
i know she's your girl now, but she was my girl first.
i can see the end in the beginning of everything.
i still play pretend like i won't watch you leaving.
it's not looking good, but did it ever?
you'll keep changing, i will stay the same.
i know you love her, but she was my sister first.
she really gets around town.
she's gonna get what she wants.
her nails are heartbreak red.
she's a bad motherfucker.
all the boys wanna love her.
all the boys wanna love her when she bats her fuck me eyes.
they say she looks just like her momma before the drugs.
she really taught me well.
she's no good at raising children, but she's good at raising hell.
she's just along for the ride.
she's just tryna feel good right now.
they all wanna take her out but no one ever wants to take her home.
what ya do with all that mouth?
if you're not scared of jesus, fuck around and come find out.
fuck around and come find out.
when she leaves, they never see her wiping her fuck me eyes.
no one ever wants to take her home.
i'll never blame her, i kinda hate her.
i'll never be that kind of angel.
i'll never be kind enough to me.
i'll never blame her for trying to make it.
i'll never be the kind of angel he would see.
we were in a race to grow up.
the doctors gave you till the end of the night, but not till daylight.
time passes slower in the flicker of the hospital light.
i pray the race is worth the fight.
it wasn't pretty like the movies.
it wasn't pretty like the movies, it was ugly like what they all did to me.
they did to me what i wouldn't do to anyone.
tell me all the time not to worry & think of all the time i'll have with you.
i won't wake up on my own.
held close all the time, knowing i'm half of you.
to love me is to suffer me.
you'll go fight a war, i'll go missing.
for me, it's not that hard.
i wanna bleed, i wanna hurt the way that boys do.
maybe you're right & we should stop watching the news.
i've never seen brown eyes look so blue.
gardenias on the tile, where it made no difference who held back from who.
all of alabama laid out in front of your eyes, but all you could see was me.
all you could see was me.
you were dying to tell me you'll wait if i have to make sure.
grew up hard, fell off harder.
grew up hard, fell off harder, cooking our brains smoking that shit your daddy smoked.
you'd be a writer if he didn't leave all his hell for you.
if you could, you'd leave it all.
i knew it was love when i rode home crying thinking of you fucking other girls.
but when you said that you're in love, i never wondered if you're sure.
you said that you're in love.
pretty boy, consumed by death.
everything i've loved, i've loved it straight to death.
no one should ever see their friend they've known since they were kids foam up and bite it on the floor.
you never need to call my name.
i know you by your knock on the door.
i know you by your footsteps on the floor.
i'll hurt myself if i want.
do you swing from your neck with the hope someone cares?
please, just go easy on me.
i am young and naïve, i don't know what i need.
i don't know what i need.
i can lead you to bed, but i can't make you sleep.
i've heard it before from someone who leaves.
i stil dream of violence.
don't ask me why i hate myself.
death, it takes too long.
don't ask me why i hate myself as i'm circling the drain.
waiting on my own, always on my own.
you come around here just to watch me writhe.
am i what you think about all late at night?
it's no good, i'm gonna regret this.
i'm gonna regret this forever.
my honey's heart is blue.
he's running out of daylight.
my baby acts cool, but they all know something ain't right.
i keep the pictures hanging where the world can see 'em.
you were there, looking for me.
i was gone, turned my back for a moment and you had fallen apart.
they've been promising the lights as we beg for our lives.
now the weight's too much.
i can't hold you anymore.
how much of a cruel year can you call my fault?
not even the memories are immortal.
i'm terrified on this side of a conversation we'll never come back from.
goddamnit, i did it to myself.
i liked him coz his rule was 'do whatever you like'.
now i'll wear these scars for life.
i loved you when it hurt.
i loved you when it hurt inside to.
you know i'd do anything for you.
i swore i'd be good to you.
i swore i'd be good to you, then sat & watched as you walked away from me.
you've changed, but did i ever know you?
did i ever know you? or did i hold you facing away from me?
when this is over, maybe then we'll get some sleep.
i've been picking names for our children, you've been wondering how you're gonna feed them.
love is not enough in this world.
but i still believe in nebraska dreaming.
i'd rather die than be anything but your girl.
i never meant to hurt you.
i never meant to hurt you, but somehow i knew i would.
will it be like this forever?
i'd reach into your body & fix you if i could.
will i feel like this forever?
are you angry? do you hate me?
darling, time may forgive me, but i won't.
to be known the way you should is to put yourself through hell.
i waited and tried till it killed me.
i can wait if i want, but it'll never be good enough.
it'll never be good enough like i want to believe it is.