♣ 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘳 .

ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ˡᵉᶠᵗ ʰᵃⁿᵈ ʷᵃᵗᶜʰ ʰⁱˢ ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ ʰᵃⁿᵈ ˢˡⁱᵖ ᵗᵒʷᵃʳᵈˢ ʰⁱˢ ᵍᵘⁿ

[fabrikctor]

#𝕗𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕜𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕣 : an independent , private , selective , mutuals only roleplay account for jesper fahey from grishaverse , primarily book based with show influences . this blog is not spoiler free . currently low activity . minors under 18 don't follow . fired by kat , she/her , 21 +

doc ♣ plotting call ♠ mains call ♣ meme tag ♠ promo

[tierneytisdale-deactivated20110]

Anonymous hour. Nothing will be unanswered, ignored or deleted.

[fabrikctor]

WYLAN ( merchlings​ )

there were a lot of things he could’ve done right from the very beginning that might have potentially led them both to a different outcome.  he could have been truthful about his identity from the moment he’d laid eyes on the sharpshooter,  that fateful day on the gruesome tannery floor.  granted,  that hadn’t been an option at the time.  jesper could have been anyone,  and it was exactly that risk that wylan had tried to avert.  he could have,  at any point,  given jesper an indication that there was more to him than he’d led the other boy believe.  he’d been afraid that everything between them would change for the worse.  admitting to having lied was conducive to disappointment and hurt and truth be told,  he didn’t desire to.  being just another barrel rat weaving his way through the masses in the overcrowded barrel streets,  no hint or indication as to what his provenance was had been a thrill on its own.  he’d gotten drunk on the independence that wylan hendriks had bestowed upon him and if he were to have his way,  he never would’ve let go of that liberty. 

he’d also stood on the deck of the ferolind every night,  listening to the waves splashing against the side of the ship as his eyes traced the trajectory of the sun on the sky as it lowered itself into the horizon.  every evening and well until the late hours of the night,  when the soft,  welcoming clutches of sleep began to weight down his eyelids,  he’d had ample opportunities to say something to the boy standing next to him.  he hadn’t.  the fear of being laughed,  scoffed at or simply told that it wasn’t the boy’s concern what wylan decided to sacrifice in the name of the job had been too burdensome.  it was the fact that jesper was anything but a passing fancy that was precisely the reason why all those opportunities had gone to waste.  wylan still clung to the security of not being concerned with anything but what he had to offer at his core,  when not a name or his physical appearance could get in the way of how the sharpshooter felt about him.  all things considered,  he mused,  he would be inclined to act the same way now if he had the chance to go back and make amends.  ❝  you know what you mean to me.  ❞  his voice was so low,  barely even a whisper.  the wind dampened most of the sound.  he preferred to lean into jesper’s touch than to rummage for words that failed to encompass the intensity of his affection. 

❝  it was as if you forgot who i was.  you had a change of heart in an instant,  back when kaz told everyone. i thought that if anything were to happen at the ice court,  all you would remember of me was just a name.   ❞  and not much else.  jesper had still teased wylan about their past and it had been difficult not to react accordingly.  ultimately though,  that pang of hurt in his chest that signalled to him he was as good as dead hadn’t stopped bothering him.  all until he’d watched those waves slam into the sides of the ferolind,  shattering the ship into debris.  it took all the strength he could muster and even more still not to cross over the distance to jesper and reassure him he hadn’t been caught in the destruction.  sometimes,  that scream of rage still resounded in his mind.  ❝  i didn’t think i was anything to be lost.  as i said,  sorry.  ❞

the    ghost    of   his    past    ,    for    some   uncharted    reason    he’s   always    thought    of   wylan    as    his   present    ,    about   as    great    a    foolishness    as   thinking    he    might   be    a    tad   more    than    a    gunslinger    asset   to    the    gang   ,    though    now   his    metaphorical    glasses   are    clear    ,    demonstrating    the   cruel    truth    he   has    tried    to   conceal    himself    from   ,    a    reality   he    can    no   longer    disregard    .    he’s    exposed   like    a    nerve   ,    energy    no   longer    available    to   raise    the    castle   walls    &&    use   them    as    a    shield    .    at    this   point    he    thinks   there’s    no    reason   to    ,    what   else    is    there   to    lose    ??   inej’s    life    is   on    the    line   ,    his    da’s   farm    no    more   secured    than    it   has    been    a    few    weeks   ago    ,    kaz’s   trust    in    him   taken    apart    and   shattered    &&    the   one    person    who   might    offer    comfort   away    and    unreachable    ,    despite    the   less    than    few   feet    apart    between   them    .    

❝   no    ,    i    don’t   .    ❞    head    cants   down    and    his   fingers    swiftly    slide   down    from    wylan’s   arm,    until    the   contact    is    no   longer    in    existence   ,    bitter    breeze   cutting    through    the   pads    of    his   digits    in    a    direct    contrast   to    the    previous   warmth    of    a    skin    .    ❝     you   lied    to    me   ,    kept    things   from    me    ,    i    .    .    .    you    think   this    is    what   it’s    about    ??   your    name    ??   no    ,    wylan   .    it’s    about   finding    somebody    for   the    first    time   in    your    life   that    you    can   trust    with    anything   ,    only    to   find    out    that   you    weren’t    even    worth   enough    to    be   told    the    truth   .     ❞    series   of    words    launching   from    his    lips   in    a    rushed   catalyst    ,    forgive   him    if    his   voice    quivers    ,    a    side-effect    of   the    freezing    air   and    nothing    else   or    so    he   attempts    to    fool   his    mind    into   thinking    ,    reconstructing    his   own    thoughts    to   guard    himself    from   harm    .    .    

he    breathes    out   languidly    ,    drained   from    the    past   few    days    ,    too    spent   to    continue    arguing   .    wylan    is   part    of    their   little    squadron    now   (    if    jesper   still    is    remains   a    question    )    ,    still   he    should    remedy   the    severed    ties   between    them    ,       if    for    no   other    reason    than   the    assumption    they’ll   be    forced    to   behave    civilly    towards   one    another    ,    until    inej   is    back    with   them    ,    safe   &&    sound    .     ❝    i’m   sorry    too    .    .    .    for    everything    i’ve   said    .     ❞    the    name-calling    ,    cruel    jibes   about    wylan’s    heritage   ,    the    mockery   of    his    skills   that    couldn’t    be   further    from    jesper’s   opinion    of    the   other    .    all   a    by-product    of   his    own    hurt   ,    a    feigned   experiment    to    gain   back    control    of   his    own    emotions   ,    all    serving   to    deepen    his   guilt    each    time   he’s    been    faced   with    that    low-spirited    gleam   in    wylan’s    eyes   as    if        jesper’s    words   had    any    weight   .     as   pathetic    as    it   sounds    to    his   mind    right    now   ,    back    then   it    has    served   as    the    perfect   payback    ,    thinking   of    wylan    as   a    memory    he’ll   never    be    able   to    relive    again   ,    he    could   hardly    be    blamed   for    assuming    the   absence    of    any   consequences    .

[fabrikctor]

SASHA ( aleksling​ )

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. He rarely speaks of such things - even with his mother , he avoids the subject like one might avoid the plague. It wasn’t so much that the memories were painful but he didn’t wish to be perceived as anything other than who he was now. With Jesper Fahey however , it was different. He gives him the smallest of crumbs of his past , but they are pieces regardless. 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐃. “Not all would make friends with the shadows the way you have Jes.” Words are quiet now and he gives the other a somewhat furtive look. Not many have dared. Jesper has always played the odds , no matter how dismal. He does not miss the tone of voice - it is not mocking , as it might have been with someone else. 𝐀𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒. “Obviously , although i wouldn’t call him that to his face if i were you , he might not appreciate it and i would prefer if you didn’t die in what i am sure , would be a spectacular shootout in the middle of the little palace.” & 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐈𝐅 𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑. Jesper has a habit of putting on a show and whilst Aleksander can appreciate it for the most part - tonight he is in no mood for it ; and he would prefer to not have to clean up one of his messes.

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐘𝐄 ; Ivan was loyalty and duty whereas Jesper - well the only loyalty he had was to kruge. Aleksander is under no such illusions ; he knows had he not been paying , affection alone would not have convinced the other man to agree to this job. “Yes , i am. You keep truly terrible company Jes , perhaps you should re-evaluate that.” 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒 ; he is beyond redemption. Aleksander knows that but Jesper isn’t looking for it either. It was if they had looked a their cards so to speak and made their choice. “What gambling den did Ivan pull you out of? i assume you were losing?” He knows him far too well ; the cards were never in the others favour - no matter how much he might hope them to be. Sometimes , the darkling wonders if gambling is in essence , Jesper’s merzost. 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. “I do not want the king to know i’m looking for her.” He replies somewhat calmly , only displaying some of his motivations. 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐍𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ; 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. He arches a brow.            “Don’t tell me.” Aleksander drawls. “You’ve finally found your conscience?” 

jesper’s    face   lights    up    ,    unnecessarily    exaggerated    gesture   that’s    there    mainly   for    the    dramatics   ,    though    there’s   a    seed    of   truth    in    that   child-like    joy    glistening    in   his    grey    hues   .    “    is   this    your    way   of    telling    me   i’m    special    ??   heart-touching    .    ”    lips    stretch   in    a    grin   ,    a    veil   of    jest    too   thin    to    conceal   anything    ,    as   if    the    implication    hasn’t   sent    his    heart   racing    in    rhapsodic   beats    .    all   for    a    show   ,    he    doesn’t   know    why    he   bothers    anymore    ,    call    it   a    habit    yet   he    knows    when   it    comes    to   sasha    he’s    an   open    book    to   skim    through    ,    devoid    of   any    secrets    or   mysteries    .    

❝    ha    ha   ,    aren’t    you   all    giggles    and   laughs    today    .    ❞    he   grits    through    his   teeth    bitterly    ,    an    over   the    top    reaction   that’s    mostly    for   the    audience    ,    though    there’s   a    seed    of   accuracy    in    that   sourness    ,    a    reminder    of   his    past    failures   &&    victories    ,    the    latter   more    scarce    and   dangerous    as    he   finds    himself    chasing   it    over    &&    over   again    .    a    too    obvious   trap    he    finds   himself    falling    in   each    time    ,    a    mouse   drawn    to    the   cheese    ,    ignorant   of    the    metallic   claws    .    

❝     what   if    i    have   ??    ❞     he   exhales    a    pained   sigh    ,    too   prolonged    to    be   anything    but    faux   .    ❝    if   there    is    a    ghezen    or   any    of    those   nicely    named    saints   ,    who    knows   what    your    peculiar   jobs    are    going   to    do    to   my    soul    ??   ”

[fabrikctor]

ZOYA ( nczyalensky​ )

       “ oh how can i deny that, my dear sweet jesper? what sort of mischief would you care to involve me in this time? shall we find someone to share some kvas, or would you like to indulge me in a story about your newest conquests? “

❝    haven’t    you   heard    ??    oh   ,    my    love   ,    we    haven’t   had    time    to   catch    up    ,    have    we   ??    i’m    in   love    .    no   new    conquests    for   me    !!    forever   ,    if    it   were    my    choice   .    ❞

[fabrikctor]

NADYA ( olycnkov​ )

“Don’t make a habit of it, gorgeous.” She dropped her arm from his, putting distance between them again. “There’s a reason the cards hate you; you’re a terrible bluff.” He wasn’t that bad a liar, but she was skilled in reading tells, microexpressions. It was going to get him shot one day; lucky he was a quick draw, or he’d probably already be dead. “Oh-” she tossed him the bag of coins she’d liberated from his ‘friend’, quite a bit lighter than it had been. “Might wanna take care of a couple of those debts. I won’t be around to save you every time.”

a hand flies to his chest and his mouth opens in an offended gesture , though none of the words that spur from the brunette’s lips can be considered a lie , he’s not letting that comment slip without an appropriately melodramatic reaction .  ❝ a terrible —– how are these words even leaving your mouth ?? ❞ a scoff , followed by a disagreeing cant of his head , whatever next objections desire to climb up his throat are halted by the sack of gold , swiftly caught in his hand , testing the weight of it before pocketing it safely . that should last a game or two . ❝ intending on leaving me so soon ??  ❞

[fabrikctor]

STURMHOND ( kcrclrezni​ )

He was a confident one. Sturmhond would give him that. “Unfortunately, we do far less shooting than one would assume. Most of our time is spent on the day-to-day upkeep of the ship. So, how much experience do you have with swabbing decks?” 

❝    eh    ----   none    ??    ❞   honesty    the    best   policy    ,    an   irony    that’s    not   lost    on    him   &&    if    that   curls    his    lips   into    a    smirk   then    it’s    nobody’s   business    but    his   .        ❝    though   ,    i’ve    been   told    i’m    a    quick    learner   .    ❞

[fabrikctor]

ALINA ( sanktasolntse​ )

“I’m the one who takes the blame again.”

❝    no    ,    i’ll    say   it’s    my    fault   ,    this    time   .    it’s    only   fair    ,    we   should    take    turns   or    else    our   stories    will    become   suspicious    .    ❞

[tolysols-deactivated20210711]

     “No. A Shu battalion was brought here by their enemies. They were prisoners of war.” 

                                             “Which enemies?” asked Harshaw. 

               Tolya shrugged. “Ravkan, Fjerdan, maybe other Shu. This was old days.”

                                                    “What happened to them?” 

“They starved, and when the hunger became too great, they turned on each other. It’s said the last man standing planted a tree for each of his fallen brethren. And now they wait for travelers to pass too close to their branches, so they can claim a final meal.”

              “Lovely,” grumbled Zoya. “Remind me to never ask you for a bedtime story.”

                  independent & mutuals only tolya yul-bataar of the grishaverse novels.                                                                 written by sydney.

[fabrikctor]

i’m off for tonight, i’m feeling a bit blue and out of the rpc && i don’t want to project that onto anybody so goodnight, love you all !!

[starwarsrebels]

# just bestie things

[fabrikctor]

i am looking at my drafts...........and nothing’s happening. but plot with me maybe ??

[inhej]

she was not a lynx or a spider or even the wraith. she was inej ghafa, and her future was waiting above.

book - based  inej  ghafa  of  leigh  bardugo’s  grishaverse.  written  by  kat. 

[fabrikctor]

WYLAN ( merchlings​ )

whether    anyone    had    the    right    of    way    in    what    seemed    like    a    lifetime    of    injustices    but    what    was    merely    just    under    a    decade    ,    wylan    had    decided    it    was    no    longer    pertinent    to    ponder    on    .    once    ,    it    used    to    be    the    new    reality    he    had    to    get    accustomed    to    ,    living    a    pretext    of    a    life    under    the    only    shelter    he’d    ever    known    with    the    only    remainder    of    kin    all    but    rejecting    his    mere    existence    until    this    rejection    had    been    acted    upon    ,    the    desire    to    succumb    wylan    into    oblivion    replacing    it    .    that    was    enough    for    a    lifetime    ,    he’d    concluded    all    those    months    before    when    he’d    begun    readying    himself    for    a    clean    slate    .    &&    then    ,    the    same    pattern    occurred    again    .    it    took    all    but    a    second    for    everything    to    be    abandoned    &&    forgotten    ,    a    desertion    which    took    place    in    the    split    moment    that    it    had    taken    the    sharpshooter    to    look    at    him    ,    following    the    revelation    of    his    true    identity    ,    &&    simply    not    see    him    anymore    .    evenings    &&    nights    melting    into    one    ,    coursing    around    them    like    a    stream    of    memories    to    be    made    ,    to    be    had    &&    to    be    lamented    .    

&&    that    was    his    curse    .    too    much    of    a    burden    to    carry    the    name    he’d    been    born    into    ,    too    much    of    the    name    he’d    been    born    into    to    matter    on    his    own    .    too    much    &&    too    little    of    anything    to    be    enough    for    his    everything    .    

when    jesper’s    fingers    found    the    skin    of    his    wrist    ,    it    took    all    of    his    self    -    control    not    to    jerk    away    at    the    static    it    produced    .    even    after    all    of    their    strong    quips    of    animosity    in    the    past    few    weeks    since    the    reveal    ,    being    touched    this    way    still    set    every    nerve    in    his    body    alight    .    he    realised    then    ,    that    he’d    been    drowning    all    this    time    .    that    it    was    only    a    matter    of    days    ,    of    mere    minutes    of    more    enmity    between    then    until    his    cold    ,    lifeless    body    would    hit    the    bottom    of    the    canal    for    as    long    as    it    took    people    to    forget    he    existed    .    but    now    ,    this    touch    alone    reached    out    &&    pulled    him    to    the    surface    again    .    he    has    never    been    happier    to    stay    afloat    .        ❝        it    was    either    that    or    i    was    about    to    let    everyone    walk    into    a    trap    .        ❞            his    voice    sounded    too    coarse    ,    like    brash    ice    ,    when    he    finally    spoke    .    ❝        &&    you    haven’t    even    seen    the    worst    my    father    can    do    .        ❞        too    low    now    ,    barely    even    a    whisper    .    it    was    as    though    this    was    his    secret    to    cling    to    ,    &&    only    the    harsh    island    wind    was    allowed    in    on    it    .    ❝        i    didn’t    think    you’d    care    .    as    far    as    i    was    concerned    ,    you    only    cared    about    that    person    in    the    alley    ,    not    me    .    you    made    it    abundantly    clear    .    so    what    did    you    have    to    lose    ?        ❞

despite    the    tangible    evidence    proving    otherwise    ,    jesper    feels    the    merchling    slipping    past    his    grasp    ,    falling    down    somewhere    where    he    cannot    follow    &&    perhaps    that’s    the    burden    he    has    to    carry    for    his    actions    ,    the    aftermath    of    his    bruising    words    that    have    likely    left    scars    he’s    incapable    of    imagining    .    why    does    he    find    himself    unable    to    let    him    go    ??    wylan’s    life    could    have    taken    a    much    more    light-hearted        course    had    it    not    been    for    jesper’s    cat    &&    mouse    games    ,    push    &&    pull    until    both    of    them    are    left    spent    and    gasping    for    air    ,    destructive    without    meaning    to    be    .    he    should    admit    his    loss    and    move    to    another    table    to    test    his    odds    —–     a    pattern    he’s    never    had    trouble    with    before    ,    snipping    the    ties    between    him    &&    whatever    poor    individual    who’s    attempted    to    breach    those    carefully    built    walls    before    it    could    slip    into    the    realm    of    anything    real    .    so    why    is    he    so    desperate    to    preserve    any    remaining    residues    of    their    past    dalliances    now    ??  

❝     you    could    have    warned    me    .    ❞    he    insists    ,    a    long-suffering    sigh    passing    his    throat    .    always    the    second    choice    ,    reduced    to    the    sidelines    ;    a    treatment    he’s    grown    to    expect    from    kaz    &&    one    he    would    prefer    not    to    have    experienced    from    the    boy    in    front    of    him    .    ❝    instead    you    chose    to    decieve    me    .    .    .    again    .    what    do    i    even    mean    to    you    ,    wylan    ??    ❞     the    last    question    slips    past    his    lips    without    the    permission    of    his    brain    &&    he    has    half    mind    to    take    it    back    ,    water    it    down    with    another    insensitive    jab    but    before    his    mouth    can    attempt    to    repair    the    damages    he    finds    himself    craving    the    answer    ,    a    rush    of    desire    that    overrides    any    rationalities    getting    in    the    way    .    lithe    fingers    travel    up    the    freckled    arm    ,    settling    in    the    crook    of    an    elbow    ,    pad    of    his    thumb    pressing    in    the    lightest    of    pressures    .    ❝     you    seem    offended    with    me    thinking    i    had    been    nothing    more    than    a    passing    fancy    to    you    but    you’re    not    exactly    proving    me    otherwise    .    ❞     weeks    of    solitude    carried    in    the    absence    of    the    other    issue    a    firm    argument    for    his    words    ,    one    that    he    doesn’t    trust    his    voice    to    transform    into    a    coherent    sentence    but    he    presumes    wylan    would    read    between    the    lines    .    all    those    nights    wishing    he    could    find    himself    on    the    receiving    end    of    that    soothing    ,    sonorous    voice    only    to    be    met    with    excruciating    silence    ,    nothingness    luring    him    deeper    into    the    pit    of    his    own    terrors    and    insecurities    . 

❝     what    did    i    —–     ❞     unattractive    snort    interrupts    his    words    &&    he    has    to    take    a    second    to    fully    appreciate    the    absurdity    of    that    inquiry    .    how    does    one    explain    to    the    lov    person    he    fancies    that    his    heart    would    bleed    open    if    as    much    as    a    hair    on    his    head    had    been    harmed    ??    he    swallows    down    his    dry    throat    ,    the    next    words    coming    out    strained    and    stifled    .    ❝     you    .    i    could    have    lost    —–   ❞   everything    .    ❝     you    .    ❞

[fabrikctor]

ALINA ( solsnkta​ )

       “ hey, thinking about it and doing it are two completely different things! ” she gives a mischievous grin that gives away her thoughts. she has absolutely considered it. “ what? i would look good in that hat and we all know it. ”

❝    oh    you   would    .    ❞   he    confirms    with   a    cheerful    smile   ,    white    pearls   of    teeth    revealing   .    ❝    it   would    give    you   that    whole    renegade   mobster    vibe    .    or    burlesque   ,    depends    on   what    you    pair   it    with    .    ❞

[fabrikctor]

WYLAN ( merchlings​ )

❝    &&  what  ,  might  i  ask  ,  did  you  anticipate  would  happen  on  a  study  date  ?    ❞

❝    anything    but   ??    this    can’t   be    how    you   want    to    spend   our    evening    .    ❞

[fabrikctor]

INEJ ( ghafaith​ )

❝    jesper—    ❞      inej held a hand up in an attempt to  stop him  from running his mouth any further.    she  savoured  the silence for a few moments   &   then heaved a sigh,    fingertips rubbing the temples of her head.       ❝    you’ve been  confusing  since  the day  I met you.   ❞

❝    ah    ,    i    think   you    misspelled    charismatic    and   remarkably    attractive    .    ❞            he    observes   lively    ,    lips   stretching    in    a    wide    teeth-showing    grin   .    ❝    no    matter   ,    mistakes    happen   .    i    promise   not    to    hold   it    against    you   .    ❞