Solomon: *pleasant smile* Read ‘em and weep. It’s a straight flush.
Asmo: *glares* Ugh, I don’t BELIEVE it! All I needed was the ace of spades!
Satan: *head shake, sigh of defeat* So, Solomon wins again, huh? How many times in a row is that?
Solomon: *grins, happy sparkles* This makes 183 wins for me now.
Asmo: *sighs* Are you using some sort of magic? Like a spell that alters the appearance of the cards in your hand?
Solomon: *pouts* Now, now, I’m not like you demons. I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t accuse me of behaving like one. I am but a simple human, an innocent lamb.
Satan: *raises brows* I’m surprised you can say that with a straight face, considering you’re the most powerful sorcerer in the history of mankind.
Solomon: *perks up with a sweet smile* Wow, is that really what you think, Satan? I have to say, I’m honoured. *grimace* Still, if Mammon were here, he might have broken up my record-breaking winning streak.
Satan: *chuckles* True. As soon as money is involved, it’s as if a switch flips inside of him. He’ll make sure it ends up his, almost like some sort of superpower.
Asmo: *sighs in annoyance* Mm, you’re right. Strange, considering he’s usually such a dolt.
Solomon: All of you are always putting down Mammon, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be a bit more respectful? After all, he is your older brother.
Satan: Oh, speaking of Mammon, that reminds me: I heard something interesting from Lucifer.
Solomon: *pouts* So, you’re going to pretend you didn’t hear what I said?
Satan: He said that Chise is trying to make a pact with Mammon, apparently.
Asmo: *gasps, wide-eyed* What? Chise? Make a pact with Mammon?
Asmo: *grins* Are you for real?! That’s hilarious! What else do you know? Time to dish up some details, Satan.
Satan: *smirks* According to Lucifer, Chise has teamed up with Levi. They’re planning on making a deal with Mammon to get what they want. It seems they’re looking for that credit card of his—the one Lucifer confiscated.
Solomon: *perking up, nodding eagerly* I see. So, they plan to pressure him to enter into a pact in exchange for the credit card, then.
Asmo: *concerned head shake* Wait, back up a second. Before we even get to that, there’s a lot to unpack here! What’s all this about Levi teaming up with Chise?! I mean, we’re talking about Levi, the super otaku who never comes out of his room! Is he really capable of working together with a real live person?! Also, how exactly down Lucifer know all this?
Satan: *serious nod* Apparently, Chise spoke to Lucifer directly, trying to figure out where the credit card is.
Asmo: WHAT?!
Solomon: Ahahahahaha!
Asmo: What’s so funny about that?
Solomon: *amused smile* Well, it’s quite the turn of events, now isn’t it? I can’t help but think that Chise really shows a lot of promise.
Satan: *smiles, chuckles* Well, Lucifer must’ve felt the same way, because he said that he gave Chise a hint about the card’s whereabouts.
Asmo: *disbelief* Wait, he actually did that? Wow, he must really have taken a liking to Chise. Do you think Mammon will agree to a pact if it means he gets his credit card back?
Satan: Yep. Though he’ll likely throw quite the tantrum over it first.
Asmo: *puzzled* Why is it that all of you act like entering into a pact is this huge thing? I mean, making a pact with a human isn’t actually such a big deal. *smiles, giggling* Take Solomon and me, for example. We’re in a pact together already, right? …Oh yeah, and he’s got one with Barbatos, too.
Solomon: *secretive smile* Yes. I’ve been very fortunate.
Satan: I’d say you and Barbatos are part of a small minority in that regard. Generally demons are very proud folk, after all.
Solomon: *delighted* Regardless, I can’t afford to be complacent, can I? Otherwise, Chise might beat me to the punch and force a pact with Lucifer before I can.
Satan: *amused* You say that, but you don’t seem the least bit concerned to me.
Asmo: *giggles* I wouldn’t read too much into that. It’s just the way Solomon is.
Solomon: I’m not in any particular rush, no. But I am very interested to see where this is going. I’m shocked enough that Lucifer is showing interest in someone besidesDiavolo, much less a human.
Satan: *laughs* Guess he’s added a new favourite person to his list to go along with Mammon.
Asmo: Ah, speaking of how much Lucifer loves Mammon, I seem to remember something sort of like this happening once before.
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Side Lesson 2-C
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Asmo: Mammon ended up in trouble with a particularly nasty witch that he owed money to. She was trying to force him into making a pact as payment.
Solomon: *frowns, attentive* So, did Lucifer come and bail him out?
Asmo: *grimace* Nope. The opposite, actually. Lucifer thought it was all very funny. He took the witch’s side and helped her out to the point that she almost succeeded in making the pact. Apparently, Lucifer did actually come to his rescue at the last second, though.
Solomon: *chuckles in amusement* I see. I suppose he’d only do all that for someone he really liked.
Satan: *chuckles too* Actually, I heard something different. From what I was told, there were ten witches, and they were fighting over who got to make a pact with Mammon. That’s when Lucifer showed up. *amused, hearty laughter* He suggested that they cut him up into ten equal pieces and divide him amongst themselves, apparently.
Asmo: *wide-eyed* Hold on, did you say ten pieces?! How could they possible be equal? I mean, if you end up with the head or the butt or something, good for you. But what if you get stuck with just his right leg? That would be awfully disappointing, now wouldn’t it?
Solomon: *raises brows* You think ending up with his butt would be a GOOD thing?
Asmo: *beams, giggling, heart effect* Yes, I do. I love butts!
Satan: *serious* I know another story involving Lucifer and Mammon, actually. Mammon tried to secretly burn a stack of bills by throwing them into the fireplace… *smirks, chuckles* …but Lucifer caught him in the act. He almost decided to throw Mammon into the fires of hell along with his bills and let them burn there together.
Asmo: *giggles* Oh yeah, right…I remember that. Eventually Lucifer let him off the hook after Mammon apologized, and started crying. I’ve actually got a picture of it on my phone somewhere.
Satan: *serious nod* You’ve got to send that to me.
Solomon: *nods* Me too.
Asmo: *grins* All right…and done! You know, speaking of pictures, that reminds me of another Mammon incident. Remember when he tried to take a photo of Lucifer asleep? He wanted a close-up shot of his face.
Solomon: *taken aback, perplexed* A photo of Lucifer asleep? Why would he want something like that?
Asmo: Well, think about it. That would be a super-rare item, wouldn’t it? Apparently he was also planning on selling it at a premium price to the succubi at RAD.
Solomon: *nods* Ah, I see. That probably would turn a nice profit for him, yeah.
Asmo: *sighs* So, Mammon tried following Lucifer around in secret for four straight days, waiting for him to fall asleep. But he never did. Eventually it was Mammon who ran out of gas and nodded off. At which point, Lucifer took a picture of HIM instead.
Satan: *chuckles* Ah, so THAT’S why Lucifer had a picture of Mammon asleep set as his cell phone background for a while there.
Solomon: *fond smile* That’s a nice story. Those two really do love each other, huh?
Satan: *frowns* …You think?
Asmo: *nods* Well, regardless of whether it’s a nice story or not, there’s no arguing that Mammon is one of Lucifer’s favourite demons.
Solomon: *frowns* So, Lucifer has a soft spot for both Mammon and Chise… Which one is more superior?
Asmo: *shrugs* Neither one of them. There is no question that Lucifer is the most marvellous one.
Solomon: *pouts* Well, that’s no fun. I was hoping we could make a friendly wager. But we’d have to actually disagree first. In that case, care to play another hand?
Satan: *scowls* This time I’m going to win. You’ll see.
Asmo: *sighs* Hmm…Satan, I’m beginning to think you’re as much of a masochist as Mammon is.
