Just your every day average Hero of Light from Saldecla.
I'm queer in every sense of the word I can think of, and adore a bit of the outright gay now and then and often. If you ever want to chat, fear not; I really want to be friends, and promise to be kind.
Also, please call me Face, Armand, Kay, or whatever you like!
My other blog is FantasyRoleplayer.
we are only a few years away from seeing the most talented programmer-archaeologists to ever exist, but they will converse with us only in skibidi toilet references. we have doomed ourselves to this fate
Welcome to Whumptober 2024 — Seventh Time's a Charm!
Please make sure to read the Event Info and FAQ below carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.
This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.
This year's playlist can be found here.
The 'Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt' post can be found here.
And our 'Resources for Writing Sensitive Topics' post is here.
We’re very excited to see the community come together for another year of Whumptober! Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!
Best of luck and happy whumping,
Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro
(Text versions of the prompts, as well as event information, rules and FAQ are posted below the cut!)
Whumptober 2024 Prompt List
No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK
Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.” (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)
No. 2: TRUST ISSUES
Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.” (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)
No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE
Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."
No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS
Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.” (Billy Lockett, More)
No. 5: SUNBURN
Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)
No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."
No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES
Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."
No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION
Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)
No. 9: OBSESSION
Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.” (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)
No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD
Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."
No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE
Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.” (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)
No. 12: STARVATION
Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."
No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY
Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)
No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD
Hunting Gear | Blackmail | “Because I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted” (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)
No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"
No. 16: NECROSIS
Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."
No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO
Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."
No. 18: REVENGE
Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)
No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL
Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)
No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST
Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."
No. 21: BODY HORROR
Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.” (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)
No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES
Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."
No. 23: FORCED CHOICE
Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."
No. 24: RADIATION POISONING
Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | “I never knew daylight could be so violent.” (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)
No. 25: SURGERY
Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."
No. 26: NIGHTMARES
Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.” (Poe, Haunted)
No. 27: VOICELESS
Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”
No. 28: DENIAL
CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."
No. 29: FATIGUE
Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"
No. 30: RECOVERY
Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"
No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP
Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)
Alternatives List:
Body Swap
Communication Barrier
Finding Old Messages
Forgotten
Friendly Fire
Motion Sickness
No-Holds-Barred Beatdown
Regret
Secrets Revealed
Shivering
Survivor's Guilt
Time Loop
Used As Bait
Venom
Vermin
Event Info & Rules
WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is “flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be a reference to an ‘old flame’ - an old relationship. It’s truly down to you!
In total, there are 4 prompts for each day. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives. We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks. There is also a list of 15 alternative prompts that can be subbed in for any day, again to give participants as much creative freedom as possible.
Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.
When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag it with:
#whumptober2024 …..(the event tag)
#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)
#bruises, #stabbing, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)
#altprompt …..(if you use an altprompt, tag the post with the number of the prompt you replace)
#fandom or #OC, …..(ironman, original content, oc, etc.)
#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)
#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself)
#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)
#your own tags go here
PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]
Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.
Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed. This is based on trust and we will not check this.
Frequently Asked Questions
Please read this before you send an ask!
TIMELINE
July: Trope voting form released.
Late August: Prompt list is released for at least four weeks of preparation time. Tropes cannot be posted earlier than August 25th because of Moderator obligations in real life. (But, you know, go ahead and start writing/drawing, and add the themes in later, if you want!)
September: Do as much or as little on your works as you want. You can prepare everything in advance or let September go by with vibes and start working in October. It’s up to you.
October 1st: Challenge begins! A storm of whump breaks upon us all! During this time, some posts will be reblogged to the whumptober archive blog. We open the yearly AO3 collection for posting (optional).
November 1st: The challenge is officially over! Completionist form opens for those who want to be included in the hall-of-fame.
Early November: We release completionist and participant badges, solicit feedback, and post a hall-of-fame list of completionists by the 10th.
PARTICIPATION AND COMPLETION
Q: What counts as participation?
Create or continue at least one work inspired by one of this year’s prompts.
Q: What counts as completion?
Creating work(s) inspired by at least one prompt from each day (or alts), for a total of 31 unique prompts.
Q: Do I need to create 31 works?
No. You can, if you want. Or you can create one work that you add to every day with a new prompt. Or several works that combine prompts. You can also update an existing work by adding new material with the current prompts.
Q: Do I need to post my works somewhere to be a completionist or a participant?
No.
Q: How do you know I actually completed the challenge?
We’ll take your word for it!
Q: Do I have to finish my work(s) to be a completionist?
No, you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish them in October, but if you want it to count towards being a completionist, you must have completed 31 prompts by the end of the month. So for example, if you’re writing a long fic and you fit 31 different prompts into the writing you did in October, it’s okay if that fic isn’t finished by the time October ends, you’ll still be a completionist.
Q: Is co-writing/illustrating allowed?
Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you.
Q: Is there a min/max limit on word count for written works?
No.
Q: Is there a min/max limit of quality for art?
No.
Q: Do I have to do something each day to be a completionist?
No. You can skip days whenever you want, and as long as 31 daily prompts (or alts) are in your works done in October, you can be a completionist. For example, if you wrote a 1000-word ficlet that covers prompts in days 2, 3, and 17, you can check all three days off your list even though it’s only one work.
Q: Is this challenge just for fics?
No! Artworks, GIFsets, headcannons, rec lists, poetry, moodboards, or any other creative work is encouraged.
Q: Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?
Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.
PROMPTS
Q: How do the prompts work?
There are FOUR prompts per day: a theme and three ideas. You can use one, two, three, or all four prompts for each day. If you don’t like any of the daily prompts, you can substitute one of the ALT prompts instead.
Q: How strictly/literally should we interpret the prompts?
As literally or as figuratively as you want. For example, if the theme is WATER, that could mean drowning, waterboarding, raining, swimming, take place underwater, be lost at sea, construct a metaphor about a character’s mood that changes like a flowing river, crying, or whatever else you can think of that fits that theme.
Q: Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?
No limit and combine as many as you’d like. If you create a work that checks off multiple prompts, that work will count for a fill of multiple prompts. You need to address 31 different prompts to be an official completionist, but you don’t have to produce 31 separate works.
WORKS
Q: What’s whump?
Hurting a character, whether that’s physically, emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, or any other way you can think of. Comfort afterwards is optional. Angst is emotional whump, so it counts.
Q: How do I know if it’s whumpy enough?
If your character is just mildly inconvenienced, it probably needs more whump. However, no participant has to prove whumpiness to the mods. Whatever you write is up to you.
Q: What kind of characters can I create for?
Anything. Generic “whumpee,” OC, PC, NPC, major characters, minor characters, or whatever you want. There are no limits.
Q: Does it have to take place in a specific fandom?
No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want.
Q: Can I create AI-created works?
We will not reblog or promote any works we know to be generative AI-created.
Q: Is there anything we’re not allowed to write?
As long as it contains whump and is based on our prompts, it’s fine. Please courtesy tag your works if you post them so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences.
Q: What about sex, minor characters, and potentially disturbing content?
You can create whatever works are legal in your country and post them accordingly. Please courtesy tag anything you think might be objectionable if you post to Tumblr so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences.
POSTING
Q: Where can I post my work?
Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive. There is an AO3 archive for Whumptober 2024, as well as the parent collection for works completed outside of the event.
Q: Can I start posting early?
You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? We won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.
Q: Can I post late?
Yes. For the sake of our hardworking Post Fairies, only a day’s themes will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive each day of October. But you can post whenever. Some of us are still working on and posting Whumptober fics from years ago.
Q: Do I have to use your tags?
Only on Tumblr and only if you want us to reblog your work on @whumptober-archive.
Q: How do I have my works reblogged to the archive?
Properly tagged posts will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive. If you want the official archive blog to reblog you, post on Tumblr and tag correctly (see this FAQ link for more info on tagging). Please note not all posts will be reblogged each day.
Q: Can we @ you?
For questions and comments, of course. We’ll be getting a flood of notifications, so if you really want us to see something send an ask.
Q: Can I cross post on other blogs?
Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable, as long as they allow cross-posting (to us). You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once. If you post some works under your main and others under an alt blog, that’s fine for completionist purposes.
Q: Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms?
Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there, which can be found here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the personal boundaries of any whumpers in your social circle (don’t out anyone as a participant who would prefer not to be outed).
Most importantly, have fun, create, and enjoy all the whump posted this October!
I have never done whumptober so hopefully I'm doing this right. If I need to add more tw lmk
tw canon dead family members
The necklace an Avgin holds dear
Kakavasha’s knee is bleeding, hands scraped up, stomach pooled with dread. His mother’s necklace dangles in front of his face. They are taller than him, taunting him with his necklace right out of reach. They’re laughing at him and he hates them for it. That’s his mother’s. How dare they take it.
A bet. He won the bet. And yet he's still here, searching for his mother's necklace because those shitty Katicans decided to throw his necklace away instead of just handing it to him. Those bastards. So now here he is. Way after dark, searching the ground for even the smallest glimmer.
“Are you searching for this?” A curious voice asks from the dark. Kakavasha looks up, sees a girl about his age, perched on a stone, necklace grasped tightly in her fingers. It glints in the moonlight, his mother's lovely necklace unmistakable.
“Yeah, it's my mother's.”
She looks at it. “It's beautiful.” She throws it, and Kakavasha scrambles to get it, almost dropping it. He breathes a sigh of relief as soon as he has it savely grasped between his fingers.
“My name is Saori by the way.”
“..Kakavasha.”
Saori smiles, let's out a little laugh. “You're funny for an Avgin.”
She hops down, landing almost completely silently. Her eyes meet his and she smirks before turning around and walking into the fog with a casual handwave and a “See ya!”
“What were you thinking!”
Kakavasha’s sister is standing over him, fussing over his wounds. She presses a cotton swab to a cut on his forehead and Kakavasha flinches from the sting.
He looks down. He didn't mean to worry her.
“It's mother's necklace…” he mumbles in a small voice. After every disaster that struck and everything they lost, it is the last thing he still has of her, the last thing to remember her by. Losing it would feel like losing a piece of his soul.
His sister sighs. “I know.”
She combs her hand through Kakavasha's hair, regards him with a look too fond. “But I would trade the necklace in a heartbeat to make sure you are safe.”
Everything is burning. Sweltering heat, a world in flames. He doesn't hear screams, and it scares him. Nothing but the raging fire, eating away at everything it touches, and laughs, mocking, loud, scary. His home is just a heap of ash, ruined beyond repair. Where is his sister? She was supposed to be home but he can't see her anywhere. Darkness and flames everywhere he looks. It’s too hot, his eyes are burning as he scans his surroundings for any sign of life, for any sign of his sister.
Something catches his eyes, a glimmer in all that chaos. Not of fire or coal, and not of embers either. He crouches down, uncaring for the heat blasting at his face.
It’s the necklace.
His mothers necklace.
The necklace his sister was wearing.
He runs. Tears in his eyes, blindly away from the carnage. The necklace is grabbed tightly in his hands, determined to never let go.
He doesn’t think. He cannot think about it.
His legs are burning and yet he still runs. His lungs are screaming at him to stop but he doesn’t. He runs away into the night, away from the heat that sealed the fate of all he holds dear.
His legs give out. He stumbles, falls, too weak to continue running.
He tries regardless, suppressing a scream when pain shoots through his hand when he braces himself against the ground.
Kakavasha's shivering, what before was sweltering heat has now become the icy night wind. A cough wracks his frame, all consuming as ash and smoke is forced out of his lungs.
He's exhausted, but he knows if he doesn't find shelter he won't survive the harsh conditions of the desert.
He would die, exactly like his…
Kakavasha suppresses the thought.
“Huh, I didn't expect to see you here, Kakavasha.”
A curious voice calls out from above.
Kakavasha looks up. It's that Katican girl who gave him mother's necklace back, Saori.
“Saori? What are you doing here?”
Saori laughs, that sweet laugh she did last time too.
“I live here, silly. I heard something and I came here to investigate. Never thought I'd run into you again.”
She lives here? Oh no, this can only mean this is..
“This is Katican territory?” Kakavasha can't hide the slight shiver in his voice. Only the Katicans would've layn siege to their home, only the Katicans would've burned everything down.
The men in black were supposed to protect them on this most sacred of days but they didn't. And now there is no one else in this world Kakavasha can trust on.
“It sure is! I'm surprised you ran this far. Shouldn't you be at home right now?”
Home.. he doesn't have a home anymore.
“Saori, do you have anywhere I could stay, just for a night? I promise I won't cause any trouble, but if I stay out here I will freeze to death.”
He sees pity in her eyes and a flicker of something else he can't decipher. Her voice is softer now, almost a whisper.
“Of course. It would be rude of me to have you walk all that way back again,” she jokes but it falls flat.
Saori isn't deterred. She stands abruptly, a spring in her steps, as she motions Kakavasha to follow.
“Come along, there is a place not too far from here you can stay.”
Kakavasha wills his legs to obey him, stumbling after Saori, doing his best not to pass out from exhaustion.
“I’ll find you something to eat, okay?”
Saori sounds concerned for him and Kakavasha just nods, too exhausted to do much of anything else.
He's nestled between two boxes, but it's warm and he is protected from the weather.
He almost dozed off when Saori comes back bringing soup.
“So,” she plops down, sitting cross legged across from him.
“What do you plan to do afterwards?”
Kakavasha swallows a spoonful of soup.
“I don't know yet. Travel to the city, leave the planet if I can, I guess.”
For a while they sit there in silence until Saori pipes up again.
“You’re wearing the necklace.”
Instinctively Kakavasha brings his hand up to his chest, touching the pendulum with his fingers.
“How could I not? It’s the only thing I still have of home.”
“It was your mothers, yes?” She has a curious look about her, regarding the necklace with wonder in her eyes.
“It was.”
Kakavasha remembers what his sister told him. “I would trade the necklace in a heartbeat to make sure you are safe.”
It wasn’t a very valuable necklace, it would be hard to sell, seeing as not many would be willing to bargain with an Avgin, but it could still get him in trouble.
He needs to make sure his journey onward goes smoothly, he cannot stay on this planet, that much is clear. He was lucky enough to find one kind person but he doesn’t doubt his luck will run out soon.
He wants to make sure the necklace is in a safe place.
“Here. I want you to take it.”
Saori’s eyes widen, a baffled expression taking root.
“Huh? Really? You’re giving it to me?”
Her eyes sparkle as Kakavasha puts it on her.
“Yes. We’re friends, aren’t we?” He smiles. “Besides. It looks way better on you.”
Kakavasha wakes up to a light beam hitting him directly in the eyes. He groans, trying to shield his face, groggy and confused, trying to make sense of his surroundings.
What’s going on?
“Is that the individual you were talking about?” An unfamiliar man's voice asks.
“Yes. I caught him breaking in last night.” Saori answers.
Saori? Didn’t she agree to help him?
He doesn’t have time to contemplate the situation as rough hands pull him up and secure his hands behind his back, uncaring for his flinch as pain shoots through his wrist.
He can finally see clearly enough to make out Saori, grinning cockily, flanked by two men in black.
“Saori? I thought you..” She cuts him off, a sneer on her lips.
“What? You really thought that shitty necklace could buy my silence? What are you gonna tell me next? That you thought we were friends?”
“But..” Kakavasha tries to resist the men pulling him along, to try to turn back around to Saori, but he can’t do anything, hopelessly overpowered.
The last thing he can see is Saori’s smile and his mother’s necklace dangling from her fingers.
That was the last time Aventurine ever trusted someone. That was the last time Aventurine ever let someone toy with him. You have to think five steps ahead if you want to survive. He may be a gambler, but every move he makes, every step he takes is carefully calculated to fit him.
“Go ahead, use me as you wish, even stab me in the back if you see fit. I don’t make deals that don’t pay off.”
He doesn’t trust anyone anymore, but a gamble? That’s something he can get behind. He’ll strut around like a peacock if that means his targets behave the way he want them to.
Still… Necklaces are the one jewelry he won’t adorn himself with anymore.
I'm a little surprised that my ancient naughty writing here is still getting an occasional like. I'm more shocked that it wasn't purged by tumblr ages ago. Hi all!
tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results. popular youtube compilations include the one where they’re at denny’s at two in the morning and tim keeps trying to get bruce to order a moon over my hammy just so he’ll have to say it, the one where they’re at disneyworld and bruce gets increasingly frazzled culminating in him actually physically picking up gaston for reasons no one can entirely recall, and everyone’s favorite series “bruce wayne doesn’t understand walmart”
having thought about it the best part is probably when a pranking fails because bruce has such a bizarre patchwork of knowledge/skills and it does not occur to him to hide most of it. tim puts a ghost pepper in bruce’s food but bruce just eats it like nothing is wrong. the same thing happens with the chocolate-covered crickets. it turns out bruce can lick his own elbow. bruce can lasso a runaway robot lawnmower like it’s a calf at a rodeo. whenever tim expresses shock that bruce knows how to do something he says “i did go to college, tim” as if that explains anything and it becomes a meme. whenever anyone does something fucking absurd it just gets tagged “i did go to college, tim”.
The camera came uncomfortably close to the face of a man ignoring it. He was very good at it. He was reading a book about, of all things, the history of denim. It was not the sort of book that made it easy to ignore cameras, but he remained stoic.
The caption said helpfully: [been doing this for 30 mins]
“Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. We need to go Walmart. Bruce. I need it.”
“Ask Alfred.”
→→→
“It’s a surprise for Alfred.”
“You can’t surprise Alfred.”
“Bruce, please.”
→→→
“It’s not a matter of permission, I’m saying you literally can’t surprise Alfred.”
→→→
[he hates when i say that]
“Bruuuuce.”
“No.”
“This is bullroar.”
Bruce finally set down his book with an expression of the most profound disgust.
→→→
[oh no now we’ll be here all day]
“—either curse or don’t, just commit one way or the other instead of—”
→→→
The camera took its time panning over a black BMW.
“Can I drive?”
“No.”
→→→
[after this he took away my music privileges]
Bruce was driving, looking stoic again. His face lent itself well to stoicism. The radio played, at high volume, “Sandstorm” by Darude.
→→→
“I’ll play something different this time.”
“You had your chance and you blew it on a meme.”
→→→
[SJGJDH;FUKC 😂😂😂]
“I’m boooored.”
“Hi, bored,” Bruce said, eyes still on the road, and Tim groaned loudly. “I don’t give a shit.”
The view shifted and audio clattered as Tim dropped the phone, barking a laugh.
→→→
The phone was wobbly as Tim followed Bruce into the store. “Can I get a trampoline?” he asked, camera pointed to one outside the store.
“We have three trampolines.”
“But I want that one.”
→→→
They were in the chip aisle. “Have you ever had a Dorito? One Dorito? In your whole life?”
“I am a person. I eat food for people.”
→→→
The camera followed a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos into the cart.
“We’re not getting those.”
“We need to get sour cream, too.”
“No.”
“You’ll love it.”
“No.”
→→→
Tim had put the seatbelt of the cart’s seat, intended for toddlers, around a giant plastic jar of orange cheese puffs.
“I thought you were getting something for Alfred.”
“I’m getting groceries while we’re here.”
“None of this is food.”
→→→
[$3 pickles blowing his mind rn]
Bruce was holding a gallon jar of pickles with an expression of incredulity.
“—costs extra to not waste food?”
“It’s Walmart.”
“Even taking into account the economies of scale—”
→→→
[putting his degree to use in the pickle aisle]
“—it just makes no sense even as a loss leader, unless the goal is to drive the competition out of business and hope they don’t go bankrupt in the—”
→→→
[i think he’s buying a pickle company??]
Bruce had every appearance of furiously texting on his phone, or possibly composing emails.
→→→
[lmao he did]
Bruce was now on his phone, looking impassive as ever as he contemplated the giant jar of pickles.
“—the business itself is perfectly sound. Yes. Obviously. Dead serious. Look, if you—”
→→→
Tim put a gallon jug of ranch dressing into the cart.
“Absolutely not.”
→→→
Tim was in the frozen section, his reflection visible in the glass.
“I bet Alfred would love some pizza rolls.”
“Your lies demean us both, Tim.”
→→→
Bruce was standing in the toy aisle, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I understand the concept of blind boxes perfectly well, thank you.”
“Then why are you acting confused?”
“Why does Thomas the Tank Engine—”
→→→
[🌈🌈🌈]
Bruce was making a face of disgruntled bafflement at a display of baby clothes.
“—disturbed by the amount of aggressive heterosexuality being foisted on these babies.”
“Yeah,” Tim agreed. “What about the gay babies?”
“I can’t tell if you’re joking but I’m unironically concerned.”
→→→
[gotham pride]
The camera panned over a display of hero-themed hats. Most of the Batman hats had sold out, while the Superman display was nearly full. It panned back to Bruce, who was taking a picture with his own phone.
“Who you texting it to?”
“Friend in Metropolis.”
“Metropolis sucks.”
“Yes. Yes it does.”
→→→
[no escape]
The camera peered out slowly from behind a clothing display. Bruce was surrounded by enthusiastic and friendly women. It was impossible to tell what they were talking about.
→→→
[???]
Bruce was holding a dress up against himself. The women around him seemed delighted and were nodding their approval.
→→→
[i’ll strike while he’s distracted]
Tim dropped another two four-movie collections of Shrek on top of the considerable pile he’d already amassed. He panned up to check that Bruce had not caught him before grabbing another.
→→→
[busted]
While Bruce put DVDs back on the shelf, Tim surreptitiously grabbed a Shrek coloring book.
→→→
[he’s gonna get a fish]
Bruce was frowning at the wall of fishtanks in silence. Finally he said, “These fish are very unhealthy.”
→→→
[HE’S BUYING ALL THE FISH]
The man attempting to help Bruce looked baffled. Bruce gestured to the entire display of fish with a nod. The man shook his head. Tim brought his phone close to a betta, blue and red with a tattered and graying tail.
“We’re here to save you,” Tim stage-whispered to it.
→→→
Bruce was now engrossed in conversation with multiple employees.
“—if I bought some tanks — they’re much too small but as a temporary measure — we could transfer them directly and it might be less distressing for the fish.”
“Maybe I could get one of the big dolly carts from the back?” one young man suggested.
→→→
The low camera angle suggested Tim was trying to be surreptitious.
“—for trying to unionize is completely against the law,” Bruce was saying, his voice low. He was helping three other employees transfer fish into large plastic tanks.
“At-will employment,” one woman said.
“We’d have to prove that was why they fired us,” someone clarified. “Otherwise they can say it was for no reason.”
“You’re shitting me.”
→→→
“—fucking with my hours hoping I’ll quit.”
“What? Why?”
“If they fired me, they’d have to pay unemployment.”
“That’s why they won’t let me work full-time.”
“What the fuck.”
→→→
[omg he’s stealing the employees now]
“—in Gotham, but there’s more opportunities outside of manufacturing if you’re willing to move.”
“Wait, so do you mean like for management?”
“No, no, that’s the starting wage for someone working assembly, quality control, that kind of thing. We’re all unionized, none of this at-will bullshit.”
“So if I—”
→→→
The woman from earlier was showing Bruce her phone while the others continued moving fish.
“You painted this?” Bruce asked. She nodded. “That’s fantastic. Are you showing it anywhere? I know a guy with a gallery — actually I know pretty much everyone with an art gallery in Gotham. I think I have a friend who’d really love this, if you don’t mind me making some calls for you.”
→→→
Four more employees had joined the menagerie.
“—almost always hiring in Gotham. People are always moving to cities with fewer evil clowns.” Everyone laughed. Tim snorted. “Employee insurance totally covers acts of supervillainy, though.”
→→→
[trying to crush the revolution]
The employees had not dispersed. In the distance, someone managerial was talking to Bruce. He looked much less amused than Bruce did.
→→→
[THEY CALLED THE COPS]
Tim had switched to the selfie camera, his face pure glee. He turned bodily to show the employees wheeling out tanks of fish out of the store, police lights in the parking lot.
“The manager tried to make Bruce leave but he insisted on paying for his fish and he wouldn’t stop giving people better jobs so the guy said it was corporate espionage and threatened to call the cops and Bruce called his bluff so he did it.”
→→→
[WE’RE BANNED FROM WALMART FOREVER]
Bruce was laughing with the police officers about something. The manager from earlier had been joined by men in suits. None of them looked happy. Some of the employees from earlier were yelling and flipping them off. One man pulled off the shirt of his uniform and started setting it on fire.
→→→
Bruce was on the phone in the parking lot.
“They’re small, most of them are tropical. You can figure out what they are when you get here. How is that racist? I’m not suggesting you already know them, I’m well aware you don’t personally know every single fish—”
→→→
“Either you take these fish or I toss them in the sewer and Killer Croc can eat them. It will be a merciful death compared to what they were getting. It doesn’t matter where I found them.”
→→→
[i’m not allowed near toxic waste]
Tim held the betta from earlier in front of his phone, bringing it dangerously close to Bruce’s face. Bruce had hung up, but seemed to be dialing another number.
“I’m keeping this one,” Tim said.
“Fine.”
“If I drop him in toxic waste do you think he’ll get powers?”
“We’ve already had this discussion.”
→→→
[the pettiest man in gotham]
Bruce was on the phone again, looking out at the empty field beside the Walmart parking lot.
“Yeah, just buy the whole thing. Yeah. Absolutely sure. Green Market’s doing good, we’ll build another one of those. Can we put up a billboard while it’s under construction? A really big billboard.”
→→→
“First of all, if it’s in writing, it’s libel. Second, figures taken directly from their report to shareholders aren’t defamatory. What’s the most they could even sue me for? See, that’s nothing. Bad PR for them, good for us, it's—”
→→→
Tim had switched to the selfie camera again, and was using a sparkling purple filter that made his eyes look huge. He backed into Bruce so that Bruce’s face would be in the shot. “Bruce, look! You’re a pretty pretty princess!”
Bruce raised an eyebrow as he looked at his face on the screen. “I’m always a pretty princess,” he said seriously.
→→→
[he picked the music this time]
Bruce was driving again. He was listening to 100 Little Curses without any apparent irony. This did not mean there wasn’t any irony.
→→→
[i named him wally]
The Walmart betta was now in a tank that held at least a hundred gallons. His underwater castle was resplendent. His tail had grown in, a shimmering gradient of red and blue. Bruce could be seen in the background through the tank, sitting on the couch and reading a book.
I reblogged this post yesterday or the day before thinking something along the lines of “wow these women are so gorgeous and ripped and I wish my muscles were that big but since then these pictures came into existence
and like maybe this post is EXACTLY where I belong.
Brief: I live in Newberg, OR, a town a short drive from Portland, OR and am in desperate need of a roommate and/or help with bills/rent. One of our roommates is leaving while two of us are still looking for work, and we had someone ready to move in to help…but now they can’t, so we’re scrambling. So if any of my friends here (or anyone you guys know!) is looking to move to a nice little town within a 30 min drive to Portland, message me. Must be LGBT accepting and cat friendly. We don’t smoke but don’t care if you do in your room.
OR if you’d like to help with this sudden financial crisis, I am TAKING COMMISSIONS at the moment. Or donations help too, signal boosting, any little bit can help.
Send asks for any questions…thanks in advance u beautiful ppl!
esAfter writing the second draft of the Sand Flea for my first National Novel Writing Month, I’ve been stuck. I tried to rewrite this problem story in Camp NaNoWriMo, but it wasn’t to be, and I failed utterly, despite being psyched up for the challenge. However, after Two years, I feel I am ready to look at it with fresh eyes, and I realize something. Ask is the protagonist, but that doesn’t…
I got nothing done yesterday, and I’m halfway convinced the frightening dream I had yesterday morning was some sort of unconscious punishment for that. Mostly because the idea is silly as heck.
Anyway, I’m exhausted mentally. I look at large clusters of words and my vision blurs. I’m going to recharge as much as possible before the team-editing starts. I’ll keep you posted.
I feel like I’m still asleep. I’ll do what I can, but so far today, any time I try to concentrate on something, I end up on imgur, even when I exit the browser tab. Hopefully getting something to eat helps with this, but if not, one day of no work in nearly a month probably won’t hurt me– though the idea rankles.
My plan to get over this? Give in for a bit to my urges, get something to eat,…
Anyway! I did finish editing a 3k-word-long scene yesterday. It dragged on and on, so I believe I need to trim and shorten any scene over 3k words– that, or inject more interest and tension. Something about the whole thing is off, and I don’t want my readers to have to feel like they’re slogging through it– though that fix may come in the next step of…
titsay
janainaart
germansingergirl
ellievsbear
discoholicmusic
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
blakekathryn
2087
