Fading Away Into the Shadows

Just a woman with some goals to achieve Seeking inspiration and motivation -*-*-*-*- Height: 5'1.5" (156.21cm) HW: 175+ lbs (79.4 kilos) CW: 129.4 lbs (59 kilos) || BMI : 24.2 GW1: 120 lbs (54.5 kilos) || BMI: 22.3 GW2: 115 lbs (52.2 kilos) || BMI: 21.8 GW3: 110 lbs (49.9 kilos) || BMI: 20.8 GW4: 105 lbs (47.6 kilos) || BMI: 19.8 UGW: 98 lbs (45.4 kilos) || BMI: 18.5

[aestum]

(by Leonie Photograph) | {Instagram}

[swanlake1998]

wanting zhao photographed by nicholas mackay ✧ 1 2 ✧

[thedancerwithtattoos]

[fadingshadowlotus]

Step 1: Get out of bed ✅

Step 2: Shower ✅

Step 3: Get dressed ...

[fadingshadowlotus]

Date: 1/8/2021

CW: 142.0 lbs

Current mood: sadly hopeless in this world

[fadingshadowlotus]

Date: 1/1-2/2021

CW: 144.0 lbs

[fadingshadowlotus]

Date: 12/31/2020

CW: 143.6

[fadingshadowlotus]

Date: 12/30/2020

Can: 142.8 lbs

[fadingshadowlotus]

Date: 12/29/2020

CW: 143.8 lbs

[fadingshadowlotus]

Date: 12/28/2020

CW: 144.4 lbs

[fadingshadowlotus]

Date: December 27, 2020

CW: 145.0 lbs

[fadingshadowlotus]

Date: 12/26/2020

CW: 145.4 lbs

[fadingshadowlotus]

December 21, 2020

CW: 145.8 lbs

According to the doctors scales Ives lost 12 lbs since two weeks ago’s 157.5 lbs weigh in.

[fadingshadowlotus]

August 5, 2020

CW: 150.2 lbs

Current Mood: Blargh x2

December 20,2020

CW: 146.6 lbs

Current mood: Blargh x .5

[lacetulle]

Paolo Sebastian | Wildflowers

[fadingshadowlotus]

Let me just start by saying that dealing with the pandemic and stay-at-home orders has awakened the uber-anxiety in me, paired with my penchant for insomnia and eating my feelings, we have arrived at this current state of affairs.

CW: 152 lbs!

Current mood: ashamed and disappointed 😔

So you may ask: what am I going to do about it? I suppose the first thing would be to crawl out of bed and move. Does this mean melting and sweating outside in the “swamp” I call home? Yes! Does it mean discomfort and pain in my aging joints? Yes!

If I keep with it, I know it doesn’t take much to make progress, but it does take effort. My metabolism isn’t what it once was 10 years ago, much less 20 years ago, but I have to try, right?

[fadingshadowlotus]

February 15, 2020

Current weight: 133.4 lbs holding steady at that five pound gain

Current mood: exhausted

Scene:

(I walk into a room with my partner’s family and converse with them for 20 minutes while we prepare for his niece’s first birthday party, theme is winter wonderland)

Partner’s mother: forgot the crackers!

Partners sister-in-law: (tosses saltines, ritz, and other crackers on the counter)

Someone else in the room: those aren’t the right kind for our cheese platter

Me: (like that’s enough human interaction today), I’ll go buy you new crackers, (so long as I get to be out of this room).

Me: (tries to leave house indefinitely...)