my heart is a rolling stone

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🤰🏼 BEELIX

Bee: What kind of music are you into? I just read that the baby can like HEAR shit now but I’ve been blasting Sweeney Todd for like a week straight so she probably needs something less…murdery to listen to?

Faelix: She can HEAR already?! That's freaking sick! I'd say murdery music isn't THAT bad but if she grows up to be a tooth fairy AND has a taste for blood, that sounds like a bad combo. I don't listen to music much tbh but aren't we supposed to play her Mozart or something like that?

[faelixspritely]

Text 🔭 Faeriel

Airiel: EVERYTHING! I didn’t wipe us out of my brain on purpose! I didn’t even know I could do that! If it was that amazing, I want you to remind me again. Please don’t give up on me so easily, Faelix!

Faelix: I know it wasn't on purpose but it still sucked! I've spent our whole friendship trying to nut up enough to tell you that you're it, the dreamgirl, the soul mate, whatever else you want to call it, and when I finally did and we finally started, all of a sudden it was gone and I can't even be mad at you because it's not even something you did! But I am mad and since I can't be mad at YOU, I'm just sitting in it and feeling terrible and terrified. Like right now, all I see is you saying "if" it was amazing, like you can't even actually believe it was good, but it was. It was like... I don't know. It was like all the things in our friendship that we took all the way to the line went over it finally and it spilled over in beautiful sexy just fucking adoring waves. It was everything I've ever wanted and now it's like I made it up because you don't even remember.

[faelixspritely]

Text 🔭 Faeriel

Airiel: Where ARE you? I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE? I need to talk to you!!

Faelix: What do we even have to talk about, Airiel? It's fine, okay? Whatever. We tried and I thought it was amazing but your brain totally wiped it out and that's that. I'll get used to it, I just need some time.

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: IT WASN'T I DON'T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HIM *PERIOD*, IT WAS I DON'T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HIM *OUT OF NOWHERE* !!!!!!!!! BECAUSE I KEPT SAYING I LOVE YOU MORE???? Dumping him out of nowhere after he said he'd chain himself up in a basement for me because he loves me so much IS a MAJOR BAD PERSON MOVE!!!! It wouldn't be good for anyone but I wanted like idk time? to figure out how to breakup with him in a way that wouldn't feel like weird bitch revenge for accidentally cheating on me with Tabby!! I MEANT IT IN AN I GOT WITH HIM BEFORE I KNEW THERE WAS A CHOICE TO EVEN MAKE KIND OF WAY! And you listing all the ways we'd be a flop wasn't helping me even consider crushing him like that because you're TERRIBLE at making me feel justified in hurting someone super nice!!! WHAT DID YOU THINK MY WHOLE "I KNOW WE'D MAKE IT BECAUSE WE'RE US" ARGUMENT WAS EVEN ABOUT? I KNOW I'M BEING AN ASSHOLE HERE BUT HOW FAR DO YOU THINK I'D GO ON PURPOSE? I'm picking you because you're my best friend, my favorite person in the whole wide world, I literally cannot make myself stop talking to even when we are having the MOST EXCRUCIATING conversation I have ever had dead or alive, you're hot as fuck, great in bed, so much fun and I have not and never will again as obsessed with a single person as much as I am with you. I don't care if you're a shitty boyfriend, husband, or even a father. You're the only person I will ever want those things with to the point that I don't give a fuck if you never marry me or we don't adopt random ghost or vampire children, as long as I get to have you, I'm good. I. JUST. WANT. YOU. Is this a long enough list of reasons why I'm picking YOU or do you need me to TATTOO the full list on your arm somewhere so THAT will be what you never ever forget?

Faelix: WELL, I KNOW THAT NOW, BUT I HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT THEN! LOVING ME MORE DIDN'T MEAN YOU WERE CHOOSING ME, AND IT SURE DIDN'T SOUND LIKE YOU WERE! I didn't know I was supposed to be helping you justify hurting HIM, I thought your mind was made up about choosing him so saying all the reasons I was scared about us was helping justify hurting ME! I didn't want you to feel bad about crushing me when it sounded like you knew what you wanted and it wasn't us. Dumping him really REALLY isn't a bad person move though; you care so much about not hurting him that you totally accidentally convinced me I had no chance with you, and dumping him sooner rather than later is actually the best way to make sure he hurts the least about it. The longer it goes on, the more he'll think it's you two forever. If he loves you enough to offer to chain himself up in a basement for you, it means he's too good of a guy to get led on and the sooner it ends, the sooner he can start healing and find someone to love who loves him back as much as you and I love each other. I THOUGHT IT WAS HYPOTHETICAL! I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE BEING AN ASSHOLE ON PURPOSE, I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE THINKING OUTLOUD AND IT WAS THOUGHTS THAT HURT ME BUT THAT YOU COULDN'T STOP BECAUSE YOU HAD TO THINK IT THROUGH FOR YOUR OWN REASONS. Lowkey I DO want to tattoo that on me now lol not because I'll forget but because it's the most beautiful thing I've ever read in my whole life. I'm really REALLY sorry about when I told you, I wish I'd told you sooner just because it'd make this less painful for you and you really don't deserve the shitty situation I put you in because I was such a wimp, but I hope I can make up for it with a long ass existence full of painless awesomeness together and so much love. I'm so SO in love with you, Airiel. I'm crazy obsessed with you, you're the hottest and most interesting person I've ever met, and you're the only person I ALWAYS want to talk to. I'm still scared shitless I'm going to mess this up but if you're going to give me a chance, I'm going to make the fucking most of it and do whatever it takes to make you the happiest ghoul ever.

Faelix: So...what do we do now?

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: You think it would KILL YOU and that's not dramatic??? Omg. I DID NOT! I meant that in like a I don't want to break up with him the WRONG WAY just to date you!!!! I don't want to make it a MESSY HATEFUL THING that makes me feel like I'm being a bad person when I just want to focus on loving YOU! I'VE BEEN PICKING YOU THE ENTIRE TIME, MORON! I WAS EXPLAINING WHY I STARTED DATING HIM AGAIN WHEN I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LOVED ME LIKE THAT AND WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TOSS HIM TO THE SIDE LIKE HE DOESN'T MATTER TO ME! WHICH I KEPT TELLING YOU AND YOU KEPT SAYING I WAS TORTURING YOU!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU GASLIGHTING /ME/???????????? HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW I WAS SAYING I WAS PICKING YOU????

Faelix: I think it might! My magic relies pretty heavy on my spirit and if my spirit is broken idk what would happen! It sounded like "I don't want to break up with him" PERIOD, how was I supposed to guess you meant the rest of that? Especially because you could never be a bad person but especially not for THAT. Like yeah, breakups suck, but if you actually loved me more than him, how would staying with him be good for anyone? EXCUSE ME FOR YOUR NOT WANTING TO TOSS HIM TO THE SIDE SOUNDING LIKE YOU'RE *NOT* GOING TO TOSS HIM TO THE SIDE, MORONICA! OR THAT "I'M NOT MAKING A CHOICE. I'M ALREADY WITH WOLFGANG" AND "I DO love him and he DOES make me happy and yeah it's not as much as YOU make me happy, but he's at least optimistic about our relationship and isn't convinced that he's a terrible boyfriend, so I'm not going to just toss him aside like a dead cellphone now that you can tell me how you feel!" AND "I think that's a shitty thing to do and that's why I'm not going to do it!" WAS WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST REPEATEDLY DRILLING IT IN THAT YOU REFUSED TO LEAVE HIM THIS WHOLE TIME, AND THAT DID FEEL LIKE TORTURE! I'M NOT! IT'S JUST THE TRUTH THAT YOU NEVER SAID YOU WERE PICKING ME, NOT ONCE. MORE THAN THAT, YOU NEVER EVEN SAID I WAS AN OPTION!!! YOU NEVER EVEN HINTED THAT YOU MIGHT PICK ME! ALL YOU SAID WAS HOW MUCH YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DUMP HIM AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HIM! YOU NEVER EVEN BROUGHT UP THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU AND ME COULD BE A THING INSTEAD, NOT ONCE! EVEN WHEN YOU DID SAID YOU LOVED ME, YOU ALSO LISTED REASONS WHY THAT LOVE WASN'T ENOUGH TO LEAVE HIM! HOW WOULD I HAVE THOUGHT ANYTHING DIFFERENT?! And also, I don't know, I still don't get why you WOULD. Pick me, I mean. Your long ass list of reasons that are forevermore drilled into my head for picking him over me ARE valid. And it's really hard for me to believe you like me that much at all, but especially after you humped and dumped me for him.

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: NO! That is NOT the plan! I don't have a plan but I wouldn't let it get THAT far! Stop being so goddamn dramatic, this shit is already awful enough. I'M TRYING TO NOT SOUND LIKE I'M PICKING HIM! AND I DIDN'T SAY I DIDN'T WANT TO DATE YOU AT ALL BECAUSE THAT WOULD HURT HIS FEELINGS! Huh???????????? What does THAT even mean??????/

Faelix: I'm not being dramatic! I'm underplaying it if anything, I honestly think it'd kill me! My magic's running low off this conversation alone which is WILD because not long ago when we had sex it was at an all time high and now I feel like I'm running on fumes. YOU DID! YOU LITERALLY SAID "I don't want to have a chance with you that's going to to be brought down by the fact that I'll HATE myself the entire time because I hurt someone that I care about" LIKE A FEW MESSAGES AGO! It means... you're picking ME? Really? Since when? This whole time you've just been telling me why someone else is better for you and why you went for him again and how much you love him and now out of nowhere it sounds like you're saying you're picking ME? I can't keep up, Airiel. Is this what gaslighting is?

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: See that’s what there is to talk through! I hadn’t even thought of how fucked it is to keep dating him while knowing how i feel about you. I didn’t say hurting him would make me hate myself more than how much hurting you does SO STOP SAYING I HAVE MY ANSWER WHEN YOU THINK I’M PICKING THE WRONG ONE. It’s like…i’m picking /you/ so I want to like minimize all the bad I’m doing to to him, since like he already lost and I’ll have the rest of my afterlife to make this up to you???

Faelix: You hadn't?! So what's the plan then, stay with him out of guilt until you're Mrs. Airiel Mooney? Because I don't know if I could handle staying around for that, I really don't. I'd want to, to support you, but physically I think it would kill me. STOP SAYING THINGS THAT SOUND LIKE YOU'RE PICKING HIM IF THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE DOING! BECAUSE YOU SAYING YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO DATE ME JUST BECAUSE IT'D HURT HIS FEELINGS SOUNDS A LOT LIKE YOU PICKING HIM, AND PICKING WRONG. What???????????? Are you shitting my dick?

[historicallyyours]

[faelixspritely]

Oh, I remember you driving to my house In the middle of the night I'm the one who makes you laugh When you know you're 'bout to cry And I know your favorite songs And you tell me 'bout your dreams Think I know where you belong Think I know it's with me Can't you see that I'm the one Who understands you? Been here all along So, why can't you see? You belong with me Standing by and waiting at your backdoor All this time how could you not know, baby? You belong with me You belong with me

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: I don't and you don't and just because it should be that easy doesn't mean it is! If the tables were turned and you dropped a girl that you'd been in a loving relationship for a YEAR before I told you. I honestly don't think I'd think that was okay! Why would I want to be with someone that could so easily disregard the feelings of someone they claimed to love just because they love me MORE? I think that's a shitty thing to do and that's why I'm not going to do it! I'M NOT GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WHY I LOVE HIM MOST, I'M JUST TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW MY BRAIN IS TRYING TO PROCESS ALL OF THIS AND FIGURE OUT WHAT I SHOULD DO BECAUSE I REALLY DO WANT A CHANCE WITH YOU. I just...I don't want to have a chance with you that's going to to be brought down by the fact that I'll HATE myself the entire time because I hurt someone that I care about. More than I already hate myself for making YOU feel like this now. AND HOW CAN I MAKE THIS STOP WHEN TALKING THROUGH THIS IS THE ONLY WAY WE'LL EVER HAVE A CHANCE? YOU KNOW FIRSTHAND THAT AVOIDING THE CONVERSATION AND JUST LETTING THE CHIPS FALL WERE THEY MAY DOESN'T WORK WHEN IT COMES TO ME!! I NEED EVERYTHING SAID OTHERWISE I'LL NEVER FUCKING KNOW AND THEN THIS SHIT HAPPENS!

Faelix: Because it'd be the kinder thing to do! If I loved someone but finally got a chance with you only while I was with them, I wouldn't stay with them knowing full well I loved you more, that'd be messed up to do to them if they thought they had my whole heart, but maybe that's just me. If you hurting HIM would make you hate yourself more than how much you're hurting me does, then that's your answer. I don't get what there is to even talk through, Airiel. You keep saying "I like you but I love him and I care about not messing things up with him more than I care about your feelings" repeatedly in different ways, but they all mean the same thing, that you're not going to leave him and that that's final, so I don't get what saying it over and over again in different ways is going to do for YOU but all it does for me is emotionally stabbing me time and time again so do you HAVE to? Can't you just get to the conclusion that you've overtly said multiple times already?

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: IT'S NOT NAIVE! I JUST KNOW WHO WE ARE AND I KNOW WE'D BE ABLE TO MAKE IT WORK. YOU AND I THINK OF THINGS DIFFERENTLY! I DON'T SPEND MY TIME HOPING FOR THINGS I'VE SPENT THE LAST FIVE YEARS CONVINCED WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. IT'S NOT THAT YOU DIDN'T MAKE AN IMPACT, I JUST DIDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO CONSIDER WHAT IT MEANT! WHICH IS /WHY/ I GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BOYFRIEND, WHO I /KNEW/ LOVES ME.

Airiel: I'm not making a choice! I don't love Wolfgang more than I love you and you don't love me more than I love you. BUT I'M THINKING! I DO love him and he DOES make me happy and yeah it's not as much as YOU make me happy, but he's at least optimistic about our relationship and isn't convinced that he's a terrible boyfriend, so I'm not going to just toss him aside like a dead cellphone now that you can tell me how you feel! But I'm not going to just friendzone you to try and make everything "normal" for us again either! This isn't as easy for me as you seem to think it is.

Faelix: I GET IT, HE LOVES YOU, CONGRATULATIONS!

Faelix: You do, and I do, and I know that because it SHOULD be that easy. It WOULD be that easy for me. Whoever I was with would be forgotten immediately for you, I'd drop them faster than fast and never make you doubt for a second that you mattered the most. And I'd NEVER go on and on about the ways the other person might be better for me than you TO you and if you loved me, you wouldn't be doing that to me. I don't need to know every reason you love him most -- you're with HIM, I GET it. Literally it'd hurt less if you just straight up admitted you don't care about a chance with me as much as you care about keeping what you have already, so just say that already. Please. I'm actually begging you, because this is torture. This feels worse than all the bad things that have ever happened to me in my life combined and multiplied by ten and I just need it to be over because I can't handle this. I always knew rejection from you would hurt but what you're doing is so much worse, this like rejection mixed with dismissiveness mixed with leading me on mixed with telling me how it's all my fault that this is happening in the first place when I already know and hate myself for that, so please, if you've ever cared about me at ALL in any way, PLEASE make it stop.

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: YOU AND ME IS EXACTLY WHY IT MEANS IT WOULD BE GOOD! A RELATIONSHIP WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKED US UP!! YEAH, HAVING SEX WENT GREAT FOR US. WE HAD AN AMAZING TIME AND I FIGURED IT WAS A CASUAL THING FOR YOU SO I DIDN'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AND WOLFGANG AND I STARTED TALKING AND HAD A DISCUSSION THAT WAS CLEARLY SERIOUS THE WHOLE TIME! IT WASN'T A REACTION TO FUCKING YOU, IT WAS JUST SHITTY TIMING. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO FIND ONE OF THOSE!

Airiel: I don't know what I wanted you to say Faelix! I don't know what I want at all! This is SO much and I literally can't overstate how much I have no idea how to handle any of it! You had over a YEAR to know how you felt about me in this way, this is all brand new to me!!! I'M NOT MAKING A CHOICE. I'M ALREADY WITH WOLFGANG, I JUST DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

Faelix: THAT'S SO NAIVE! I BET TONS OF PEOPLE WENT INTO RELATIONSHIPS THINKING 'WELL IT'S US SO IT'S GOING TO BE PERFECT' AND THEN ENDED UP DIVORCED. I FIGURED IT WAS A CASUAL THING FOR YOU TOO BUT *I* STILL SOMEHOW TOOK IT SERIOUSLY, WEIRD! IT WASN'T JUST SHITTY TIMING. IF I'D MADE ANY IMPACT ON YOU AT ALL, YOU WOULD'VE THOUGHT TWICE BEFORE GOING BACK TO HIM. BUT YOU DIDN'T. MEANWHILE, ME? I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP WITH ANYBODY ELSE SINCE. INTERESTING, ISN'T IT? IT'S ALMOST LIKE I CARED AND YOU DIDN'T.

Faelix: What does that have to do with anything? I had NO IDEA how YOU felt until right now too so this is ALSO all brand new for me, you're just making excuses because you ARE making a choice and you just don't want to admit it! You know how I know? Because if the tables were reversed and I was in a relationship when you told me you loved me, I would've dumped them and been at your door in a second and you're obviously not doing that. Not that I'm surprised. I always knew if we tried something I'd like you more than you liked me. Can't you just admit that you'd never leave Wolfgang for me and that you love him more than you could love me so that we can move on? Just friendzone me and we can go back to normal. It shouldn't be hard. You have a boyfriend, you never even considered that I could like you, and us finally having sex meant so little to you that you went right back to your ex without a second thought after and with such joy and love and happiness that you couldn't help vomiting it all on me, so you've already friendzoned me without the actual words. Just type them out and make it all go back to normal.

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: NO, YOU DON'T! LIKE WHAT'S THE WORST YOU'D EVEN DO GET BORED AND TRY TO GHOST ME? YOU CAN'T GHOST A GHOST AND YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN BORED OF BEING MY BEST FRIEND YET! AND IT IS SO COMPARABLE! I ONLY THOUGHT OF IT AS PLATONIC BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE THINKING OF IT AS PLATONIC! AND THE ONLY THING COUPLES DO THAT WE HADN'T DONE WAS HAVE SEX AND IT WENT GREAT WHEN WE DID! I REALLY CAN'T BE. PEOPLE BECOME PARENTS AND THEN DIE EVENTUALLY, I DON'T WANT TO ADOPT ANY AND WATCH THEM HAVE THEIR OWN KIDS, GET OLD, DIE AND WATCH THOSE KIDS HAVE KIDS, GET OLD, DIE AND REPEAT. YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT SOME OF IT!!!

Airiel: Faelix, you typed out the most vulnerable thing you've ever said that you DELETED over a year ago. I know an emoji wasn't the BEST thing to say about it, but I don't have anything to say about it period. I'm trying so hard not to hurt you, I swear I am because I really don't want you to stop talking to me. But anything I could say to that that wouldn't have hurt you, are things I could've said THEN, when I hadn't been in love with my boyfriend. Or while you're not literally trying to convince me that you hiding that from me was for the best and that we'd have never worked!

Faelix: YOU COULD BREAK MY HEART! I COULD BREAK YOURS! WE COULD START HATING EACH OTHER! JUST BECAUSE IT'S YOU AND ME DOESN'T MEAN IT'D BE GOOD, RELATIONSHIPS FUCK UP PEOPLE ALL THE TIME! REALLY, DID IT "GO GREAT" WHEN WE DID?! DID IT?! IF IT WENT SO GREAT WHEN WE FUCKED THEN WHY DID YOU GO FOR SOMEONE ELSE IMMEDIATELY AFTER?! IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN THAT GOOD FOR YOU! YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW? BECAUSE AFTER WE HOOKED UP, ALL I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVED YOU AND HOW I HAD TO TELL YOU BECAUSE MAYBE I FINALLY HAD A REAL CHANCE, BUT YOU WERE STILL THINKING ABOUT SOMEONE WHO STUCK HIS KNOT IN A FUCKING CAT A FEW MONTHS AGO! I'M NOT WRONG ABOUT ANY OF IT! ADOPT A VAMPIRE KID! OR A LITTLE GHOST KID WHO NEED A GUIDE THROUGH THE AFTERLIFE!

Faelix: So?! It's STILL the most vulnerable thing I've ever said, if you want to take that away from me just because I tried to take it back before it ruined everything, that's on you. What do you want from me?! You dismissed basically everything I'm saying, including me telling you how much I love you, and you expect me to want to keep talking to you? What the fuck do you want me to say?! If you don't want me trying to convince you that we never would've worked, would you rather I beg you to dump your boyfriend? Cry about how much we deserve our chance? Ask you to run away with me?! Even if all of that's true, it's not like any of it would even matter. You've obviously made your choice. So what do you want me to say?

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW? IF I'M THE ONLY GIRL YOU'VE EVER LOVED. THAT MEANS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW YOU'D BE IN A REALTIONSHIP AND IT'S NOT ADDING UP TO ME HOW YOU COULD BE SO SURE! I WOULDN’T NEED YOU TO BE THE AMBROSE TO MY LILY, YOU’RE ALREADY THE FAELIX TO MY AIRIEL AND UNTIL NOW THAT’S BEEN MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME!!! AND WHAT DOES YOU BEING A GOOD FATHER HAVE TO DO WITH ME? I’M NEVER GOING TO BE ANYONE’S MOTHER SINCE I’M LITERALLY DEAD. AND OBVIOUSLY YOU WOULDNT BE A DOG BOYFRIEND, YOU’RE A FAIRY!!?????!!! AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THE REST OF IT BECAUSE LIKE YOU’RE NOT EVEN THAT WRONG. THIS JUST ALL FUCKING SUCKS AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN LIKE…WRONG. (except the part where you wouldn’t be good enough for me because like literally what are you even talking about, you’re the best person I know.) BUT WHAT THE FUCK.

Airiel: 😧

Faelix: I'D KNOW BECAUSE I KNOW MYSELF AND I KNOW WHAT I'D SUCK AT EVEN IF I'VE NEVER TRIED IT BEFORE, IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT. ME BEING THE FAELIX TO YOUR AIRIEL HAS ALSO NEVER BEEN ANYTHING MORE THAN PLATONIC TO YOU SO IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S COMPARABLE. YOU *WANT* TO BE A MOM AND YOU CAN BE. PEOPLE BECOME PARENTS IN LOADS OF WAYS AND YOU CAN TOO. I KNOW, I'M NOT WRONG ABOUT ANY OF IT.

Faelix: ...I typed out the most vulnerable thing I've ever said for a fucking emoji?! Fuck this, I can't keep talking about this with you. There's literally nothing good you can say about any of it, and you saying nothing is even worse, and it all hurts too much. I know you're not trying to but everything you says hurts.

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! YOU’RE LITERALLY THE PERSON I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME WITH EVEN THE PARTS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PRIVATE!! HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU THINK THAT *I* WOULD THINK THAT YOU COULDN’T BE THERE FOR ME AS A BOYFRIEND! WHERE THE FUCK ELSE WOULD YOU BE??? I KNOW IT WOULDNT HAVE MADE SENSE FOR YOU TO TELL ME WHEN I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! BUT IT DOESNT FULLY MAKE SENSE TO ME WHY YOU DIDN’T WHEN I DIDNT HAVE ONE OR WHEN I LIKED HIM ONLY A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE WE HAD FIRST STARTED DATING!!!! I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING MEAN BUT WHAT ABOUT ME SAYS “PLEASE KEEP THE BIGGEST SECRET IN THE WORLD FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR AND DELETE SHIT FROM MY PHONE!!!!” WHAT DID YOU EVEN SAY IN THE VOICEMAIL???

Faelix: I THINK THAT THE SAME WAY I THINK MY FEELINGS SHOULD'VE STAYED SECRET FOREVER -- YOU WANT A RELATIONSHIP AND I CAN'T DO THOSE! SIMPLE! WHERE IS THAT NOT ADDING UP IN YOUR HEAD?! I'M GOOD AT BEING THERE FOR YOU BECAUSE I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND BUT IF I EVER TRICKED YOU INTO GIVING ME A CHANCE, THAT COULD'VE CHANGED BECAUSE BOYFRIEND FAELIX IS GARBAGE. I CAN'T BE THE AMBROSE TO YOUR LILY, I'll NEVER BE A GOOD FATHER, AND I'M NO ONE'S GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOYFRIEND! I'D BE WASTING YOUR TIME AND YOUR HEART AND RUINING OUR FRIENDSHIP IN THE PROCESS SO YEAH, I ERASED THE VOICEMAIL, BECAUSE IT WAS SELFISH OF ME TO LEAVE IT FOR YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN I KNEW I'D NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! AND I WAS RIGHT BECAUSE SEE WHAT HAPPENS NOW THAT YOU KNOW? YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE AND I'M PROBABLY BEING WORSE AND ALL I WANT IS FOR IT TO GO BACK TO NORMAL BUT IT CAN'T, AT LEAST NOT EASILY, BECAUSE I SUCK!

Faelix: As long as we're saying stuff, I guess I should tell you, but it'll probably be underwhelming after all the yelling. It said that the love I have for you is way more than just as a friend and that after a few years of trying to tell you, I thought I might be brave enough now to say something. That being your best friend is the best but that I thought maybe I'd finally be good at doing more, and that I knew you didn't think about me like that, but it would've just felt like lying to you to keep the whole 'in love with you' thing under wraps any longer, and that it was tearing me apart. That you're the only person I've ever loved. That I'd get over it if you wanted me to, because I didn't want to make things awkward, but like, if on the off chance you thought exploring us as a relationship could be a good idea, maybe we should go on a date. And then I said a time and place and said to show up then if you were curious about what I could be like as not just a friend and that if you didn't show up, I'd take the L and force myself to get over it. And then not even like an hour after I sent it, I heard you were with Wolfgang.

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I HAVE BEEN WILDLY IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR SO LONG! THE ONLY REASON I NEVER TOLD YOU ANYTHING IS BECAUSE YOU MADE IT SO CLEAR THAT YOU DONT DO RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU THINK THEY’RE TOO MUCH WORK! SO I DIDN’T WANT TO PUT ANY ANNOYING PRESSURE ON YOU WHEN WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN JUST BEING TOGETHER REGULARLY! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A RELATIONSHIP GIRL! GOOD JOB ON THAT! MY LIFE IS WAY MORE COMPLICATED NOOOOW SINCE I HAD ALL THAT FREAKING TIME TO ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW AND LOVE WOLFGANG TOO BEFORE FINDING OUT SOMETHING YOU COULD’VE TOLD ME OVER A YEAR AGO! I DO LOVE YOU BACK AND THE ONLY REASON I GOT SO EXCITED WAS BECAUSE MAYBE I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU MIGHT HAVE MEANT ME AND I WAS TRYING TO BE COOL AND CASUAL JUST LIKE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU’VE ONLY EVER LOVED YOURSELF!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL WHEN THE PERSON I LOVE THE MOST IN THE WORLD FINALLY TELLS ME HE LOVES ME BACK WHEN I HAVE A BOYFRIEND THAT I LOVE THE SECOND MOST!!!!! FAELIX!!!!!!

Faelix: I DON'T DO RELATIONSHIPS, THEY ARE TOO MUCH WORK, BUT AFTER A WHILE IT STARTED TO FEEL LIKE WHAT WE HAD WAS ITS OWN KINDA RELATIONSHIP AND ONE THAT I ACTUALLY WANTED. BUT THERE WAS NO RIGHT WAY OR RIGHT TIME TO SAY IT WHEN YOU DIDN'T SHOW ANY SIGNS OF LOVING ME BACK, AND THE LAST THING I WANTED WAS TO RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP. BESIDES, I KNEW EVEN IF YOU DID FIND ME HOT, YOU KNEW MORE THAN ANYONE HOW MUCH I'D SUCK AT RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU *ARE* A RELATIONSHIP GIRL SO WHY WOULD YOU EVER WANT ME? DON'T YOU GET IT? I COULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU THEN AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU NOW SINCE IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING AND IT NEVER WOULD'VE. I'M STILL NOT GOOD AT BEING THERE FOR SOMEBODY AS A BOYFRIEND AND YOU STILL *WANT* A BOYFRIEND, WHICH IS CONVENIENT, SINCE YOU HAVE ONE. AND SINCE YOU HAVE ONE, WHY THE *FUCK* WOULD I EVER BE LIKE "OH ACTUALLY YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON I'VE EVER LOVED HAHA ISN'T THAT WILD?"?! I MEAN, YOU ENDED UP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SUCH GARBAGE THAT I BROKE AND TOLD YOU, BUT WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT THAT FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?! WANTING ME TO ADMIT HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU WHEN IT WOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE YOU'RE TAKEN AND IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE IS FUCKING MEAN, AIRIEL! IT'S FUCKING MEAN!

[faelixspritely]

TEXT 🥂 FAIRIEL

Airiel: No! But those weren't the only times you had to do anything! AND YOU DELETED A VOICEMAIL FROM MY PHONE? What the fuck! I legitimately had NO IDEA that you liked me as more than a best friend until NOW, I thought it was all friendship stuff! Faelix...I literally do not know how to even process this right now. Shit. This really couldn't have happened at literally other time? I'm really sorry for what I've done to hurt you and making you feel like I don't...idk. But okay, all gushing is officially cancelled and I won't try to push anyone on you. This fucking sucks.

Faelix: They weren't the only times but it's also not as easy as you're making it sound! It's the kind of thing that takes time to build up bravery for and every time I almost did, something went wrong! I didn't think any of our stuff was more than friendship for you which made it harder. If you actually liked me and thought I didn't like you back, then you'd get how hard it was! You never said anything either! OF COURSE I DELETED THE VOICEMAIL! YOU'D JUST GOTTEN WITH WOLFGANG FOR THE FIRST TIME, I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MORE COMPLICATED! I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND AND I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE GOOD! You don't need to process this, it's no big deal. I'm one of the many people on the planet who's in love with someone who doesn't love them back, it's not new and notworth worrying about. I'm sorry about the timing, it wasn't on purpose. I was just trying so hard to be cool with it and doing a pretty good job if I say so myself, but you kept piling on and on and on about how in love you were and how you two loved each other so much and how you hoped I could find a love like yours and it hurt too much for a dude who was literally just about to tell you you're the only person he's ever loved. Then you got so excited when you thought I loved someone else and that made it so much more obvious that you've never cared about me like that. I'm not mad that you don't though, and you don't have to be sorry for it. You don't have to be sorry for anything. We can just pretend I didn't tell you and go on like normal. Or if you can't, then idk, just figure out what I can do to make it up to you because I'll do whatever it takes for you to not kick me out of your life.

[faelixspritely]

what are your feelings on normies?

Eh, they’re too dumb to be a real threat, I’ve got nothing against them. 

honesty hour!