I wonder if you dream about me too. @faeofdusk - Tumblr Blog

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duskianfae

Hello!

If you like my art and would like to support me, please consider commissioning me!

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milletude

Coming out to nii-san

spaceboytoy

Hello bisexual community

spaceboytoy

Begin killing

tartrazeen

revizyonist

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

revizyonist

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

ancelineonline

I have four kids. I’ve had one or another of them need some kind of surgical procedure that requires anesthesia four or five times over the past 15 years.

This Tumblr post is the first time someone has explained to me *why* I couldn’t feed them before those instances.

I’m not stupid. I understood that just fine. Hell, my kids would have understood that just fine. But no one bothered to tell us.

bowditch

i did know this before having kids (i have six). we have a kid that's needed multiple procedures requiring anesthesia. and every single time, i am asked multiple times if i'm sure he was not given any food or water after a certain point.

every single time i have had to say, "i understand that if he had food or water, he could aspirate it into his lungs under anesthesia. i am not lying to you." THEN someone would make a little note and i would stop being repeatedly asked.

not a single time was that risk explained to me. the only reason it came up was because i already knew. i still don't understand why it isn't standard pre-op counseling or pre-op check information, when me as a parent acknowledging the actual risk also put THE MEDICAL STAFF at ease because i conveyed that i had informed understanding as reason to not lie about giving my kid food.

"maybe some people will get nervous and refuse surgery" okay so they need more counseling about risks and anxiety, not less information in a way that actually does endanger their child or themselves!

arctic-turtle-cassiopeia

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

mynqzo

finished my first semester oufh god finally blorbo time

jorongbak

It is sad that Caine probably would never know it was never Kinger's intention to delete him.. and Bubble being there in the recycle bin with him would only go so well

xochitai-zines

Due to scheduling, we are taking a small break from the version-based Genshin speed runs and doing a special edition for pride! 🌈

All are welcome to join, just hop in the server

O and here is the info doc

frontmansdefender

somethingusefulfromflorida

Big and small henchmen for the villain in one of those secret-life-of-mice movies from the 80s

wickedsnack

kingcatnine

horror novel: he sniled, but it wasn't sneetly. it wasn't sneetly at all.

caffeinatedspitegod

OP wtf does this mean?

kingcatnine

what's not clicking

ao3commentoftheday

I absolutely 100% without question believe in the power of betas, and I advocate for getting one as much as possible, and I think they are amazing. The only problem is dealing with beta feedback without crushing despair and endless self-doubt. How the heck do I take critique gracefully and build something better without lying face down on the floor for three days first? (PS you are amazing, thank you!)

If this is your actual reaction to critique and not hyperbole to get your point across, you might want to read up on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and see if that’s something you’d like to talk about with your doctor. This level of a reaction to beta comments feels extreme and might be a sign of something else going on, whether that’s RSD or something else.

If that’s just hyperbole and you feel a sense of disappointment or dejection as a result of hearing critique then you might just need to talk to your beta reader about how you want that critique to come at you. Do you want a negative to be balanced out with a positive? Do you want a critique to come with a plan for how to fix the problem? Do you want it phrased as a question rather than as a statement?

We all have preferences when it comes to receiving feedback, and we all respond differently to different styles. If you’re receiving feedback in a form that doesn’t work for you, then try a different form and see if that works better.

Another thing that’s important to remember is that these comments are not about you as a person, they’re about your writing. The person who is giving you this feedback is invested in making your writing better. They want you to succeed and they want you to tell the best version of your story possible, and their focus is on helping you do that.

Nothing that we write is ever going to be perfect, and a first draft is even rougher. There’s no shame at all in needing to improve. If there’s nothing to work on, then there’s nothing to learn. Accepting critique means accepting an opportunity to do better next time, to learn a new technique or concept. Doing something badly means that you’re doing something that’s hard for you, and it’s only by working beyond our capabilities that we can improve.

Be proud of your mistakes. They prove that you’re willing to take a risk. You’re striving and reaching and pushing yourself to do more. Keep reaching, anon. You’ll get there. 💕

lorei-writes

Hmm... Anon, I wonder, how strongly are you attached to the idea of being a "good writer"?

We often find that the things which hurt us the most are directly tied into our identity. If that is the case, then a critique of our work is no longer just that, but becomes a personal attack. It threatens the core of what we believe ourselves to be, which in turn may feel like "the end of the world". In a way, it truly contradicts something we consider a fundamental truth, the foundations of what we are. However, it is just the pain of bruised ego.

My advice would be to look into yourself. There's nothing shameful about it feeling this way. The question is: is that useful for you? Does it help you? Or does it cause you hurt and impede your growth?

Personally, I find that the more invested I am in the action ("writing") rather than being something ("I am a writer"), the easier it is for me to be detached and calm. It may sound counter-intuitive, but I think getting rid of the "I am a good writer" identity and the "I want to be a good writer" attachment is what made me a better writer. It removed the drive to be good and allowed me to just be, examine my work without any sense of failure, and discuss it with other people.

Of course, you still need some "chemistry" with your beta-reader, especially in regards to the plot itself. Outline what you're looking for in feedback and specify your boundaries. If you can't handle hearing about everything at once, tell them "I want to focus on xxx only" and specify whether (and how) you'd prefer for any other issues to be brought up. However, don't make them responsible for managing your feelings.

The point of setting boundaries isn't to prevent the situations in which you may feel hurt from occurring completely. It is to bring down their intensity to a level you can safely manage on your own. "Make sure the author never feels bad" and "be honest with the author about the issues in their workshop" are two distinct goals which, in certain situations, may contradict each other. If you can't handle feedback, you have to be aware that people will stop giving you their genuine thoughts and will focus on appeasing you instead.

Is that a bad thing? A good thing? I don't know. Some of us write with a drive for mastery, some of us do it just for fun, and neither of those is any better than the other. Just... It all depends on what your goal is.

cuzosu-blog

So! As a beta, one thing I find is that even really emotionally sensitive writers have an easier time with betas who will mind their manners. By which I mean not being harsh or demanding with their commentary and corrections, and if possible also explaining why they're suggesting what they are.

I am bitchy in many situations; betaing I try very hard not to be bitchy, because you never know what someone else is going through, and there are days when I can't take criticism either.

But so many betas think their task is just to improve the document; they don't think about how they affect the author. That is a problem, unfortunately, which can only be solved by flat out asking the beta, if the beta can do that honest self assessment. Some can't.

You could also ask other people in the community about their betas, and go from there.

brucebocchi

koiagain

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

wingkink

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here