inspired by the movie “the suffragettes”
you were 9 when you asked ur mother why women were deemed as weak and incapable of many things. why the world viewed them as a chore.
your father never degraded your mother or you. he was often gentle with the both of you. so you thought it was never him.
it was the boys your age that never let you play with them because soccer was not for girls.
it was the man you saw at the market who said to his little girl that she could never be a teacher because girls didn’t even need education in the first place.
it was the woman who told her daughter that she was asking for it.
you were 13 when you met jeon jungkook. you had friends but were never really close to. except for him, he was a constant in your life. although you felt like the world was out to get you sometimes, he always treated you like an equal.
whenever he was around, your mind wandered off to a world that was much euphoric and blissful. he would never fail to make you believe that you were capable of being on top of the world if you wanted to.
you were already 22 when you played lesser and stayed home more. you were hanging the beautiful fabrics your mother just bought from the market, letting the sunlight fight off the dust, when your best friend suddenly surprised you behind one.
it was pointless, you were not a jumpy person. you tried to fight off the smile that stretched on your face, by rolling your eyes at him. when you asked why he was here, he answered your question with another question.
“did you hear about them?”
you remained silent. you knew what he was talking about. you saw the news before your father quickly turned it off.
the suffragettes. they were a group of people fighting for women’s rights. you heard that some were arrested. some were beaten up. someone died at the hands of a police officer.
knowing you so well, jungkook continued, “this is your chance, you should join them.”
that’s how he got your attention. you stopped what you were doing and snapped your head towards him, with furrowed eyebrows. was he out of his mind? did he want you dead? did he think this was a happy parade? you thought.
“do you want me dead?” you rhetorically asked. of course, you knew he didn’t want that, but you were basically putting your life at risk if you did go.
”w-what? no! of course, not.” his eyes bulged as he stumbled across his words, “don’t you want this? you get to fight for yourself. for your.. mother. basically, for every woman.”
“oh jesus, jeon. were we watching the same channel?” you raised your voice, “some of them were arrested, beaten up. one of them even died.”
“they were reckless. they went ahead of themselves. at first, it was a peaceful protest,“ he answered calmly, ”but someone got aggressive, and the whole chaos happened.”
you chose to not say anything. you were a coward. it was not because you could be arrested, beaten up or killed. you loved your parents, and you knew they did love you too.
but you did not want to lose that, just for your own selfishness. you could not stand the thought of them disowning you over a petty crime. although they never talked much about it, it showed through their actions.
the way they silently stared at each other when you mentioned about not wanting to get married at dinner last week.
the way your father never let you or your mother listen to anything about the suffragettes.
the way your mother would occasionally bring you to talks about how to be a better wife– you didn’t need that. you made it clear that you didn’t want to be anybody’s wife.
you were not stupid. it was clear that they did not want you to be indifferent.
“you know my parents would never agree to this.” you murmured.
he tilted his head and let out a chuckle as he looked at you, making you raise an eyebrow questioningly.
you sighed as you dropped the fabric into the basket, “you do realise that this is a matter of life and death, don’t you?”
“sorta, yeah.” he paused, “but, do you really have anything to lose though?”
you whispered under your breath, “fucking hell.”
you felt sick. you’ve been stuck with him for so long, that you forget that he was not you. sure, he was your best friend of a lifetime. but, he was still a man. he has had it easier for him. he would never know. he would never understand.
you picked up the basket in your arms. in the midst of walking back into the house, you turned towards him, “you would be surprised, jeon.”
although you were lawfully oppressed, you were free to think. we were all lucky that mind reading was fiction. you were like a hummingbird stuck in her cage. there were boundaries, but it was free to move.
besides the possibility of losing your parents, you could lose your home. your dignity. your happiness. jeon jungkook. he was the closest thing you had to vulnerability and liberation.
his recklessness. it’s one thing you loved about him, but you did not like how he thought it would be the same for you. you were not him. he was not you.
after all, it was a man’s land and you were living in it.
